A View from a barstool 25

Beer 2The votes had been cast, the Fuhrer conceded defeat early (in yet another tiresome video) and we sat on the edges of our seats wondering how many votes they’d manage to get. And I decided I’d write a letter to Goldibollocks and Screechy to ask them some questions…

Dear Goldibollocks and Screechy,

Many thanks from the Admins and followers of Exposing Britain First for your comedy series over the last few weeks since you decided to stand for the London Mayor and the Assembly. I noted that you said that you had put forward your family as candidates but upon checking the results I can see no mention of Britain First outside you and the Fuhress. What happened Chumley? Did they disappear behind the sofa? Were they buried underneath a patio? Did the nasty election people not print their names on the voting slip???? I’m sure your loyal disciples would love to know.

EBF and I would also love to see where the money you conned out of your sheep went. We are waiting (with a forensic accountant) to see your accounts, when Stevie gets a new ribbon for his typewriter, that are forwarded to the Election Commission. What will they show? More importantly, what will they hide? I can understand where some of the money went but ‘Operation Lionheart’? A hard hitting video on social media for £2500? I think you need to sack your minister of propaganda. Just remember, if you don’t publish them properly Old Moley will find a way to get them to us (if that doesn’t work we could always make some up and pass them off as yours no one would know the difference between one work of fiction and another).

BF Whitechapel mosque 1st march 2016 FransenI take it you now realise that the people don’t support your “party” in any numbers and are utterly fed up of your “operations” like the Slaughterhouse debacle, the ELM marathon, the Sharia COUNCIL raid. They make you look stupid in the eyes of the media and the people (and they make us laugh at you). The police are slowly catching up with your high command. Your activists, all 20 of them, are banned from most places.

So from us to you, give it up, pocket the cash you have fleeced from your members, stolen from armed forces charities and go away. The silent majority in this country don’t like you, don’t like what you stand for, find your whole Christian Zealot, racist, Islamaphobic rhetoric disgusting and nothing is going to change their minds. This majority has put up with you and your fellow Islamaphobes, you know the ones that hate you as much as they hate the Muslims, for long enough. Why do you think all us unwashed, traitorous lefties, Muslim appeasers and Muslims all come out on your strolls to shout at you? We always get more than your numbers even though you tell you American friends you have faaaasands there. So go on do us all a favour, tell your 800000 real followers (600000 in the UK) that you are packing it in, then we’ll do the same. I might get some time to spend with my family, stop having to watch your videos and suffer Screechy’s screeching.

Finally I do thank you for one thing. Being an Admin at EBF has let me meet and talk to some amazing people all dedicated to your downfall both on the page and the admins. I don’t believe you will jack it in but it would be nice. If you don’t, you won’t be lonely. We’ll be here to keep you company.

Yours forever in hope (book of Landlord 10:13)

Landlord

View from a barstool 24

Beer 2I’ve finally been freed from the EBF stationery cupboard if I agreed to watch all of Goldibollocks London Mayoral campaign videos and read all the daily Email’s/begging letters coming from said mayor/emperor/High priest/Prime Minister/Dictator (delete as appropriate) and after doing this I have this to report..’

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa

So Goldilocks, Screechy and a whole host of biffers are after the London vote using the “voice” they have been given by the media to put out a joke party political broadcast, and issue some tatty election pamphlets along with their equivalent of the Sun newspaper (both equally discredited and hated amongst the majority of this fine country). In it they tell us how they will get Britain out of the EU and stop immigration, amongst others, both of which the London Mayor and assembly have no say on whatsoever. They seem to be libelling, slandering and being downright racist to the bookies favourite who treats them like something you pick up of the bottom of your shoe after an errant dog owner left it on the pavement. He also once again takes an ex-soldier and uses him in his nasty propaganda. Again this is against the wishes of his family and again the biffer lie that there is no memorial to him. There is. It’s what the family wanted, where the family wanted it to be. Once again we won’t name him as the last thing his relatives want is for him him to become the battlefield in a political ‘tug of war’.

A day out in Bexley Heath handing out faaasands of leaflets was videoed and photographed. Nothing about this leads me to believe that anyone wants anything to do with Goldibollocks and his tawdry little party. They have already had both barrels from the written media describing the campaign as a car crash.

BF Christine Smith election broadcast London Mayor May 2016

The radio broadcast they were permitted was a 30 second recording, the TV broadcast 5 minutes of absolute comedy and still they aren’t happy. We’ve seen the full version of the broadcast Goldibollocks wanted and no wonder the Beeb and ITV told them no. Usually after a broadcast a party’s showing in the polls jumps, this time it didn’t. I checked Comres before and a couple of days later (you need to do something while perched on the loo). The votes for Goldibollocks for London Mayor stayed at 1% and the seats in the assembly, where in my view they were really putting their faith,a big fat zero.

So then to the daily begging bowl, sorry Emails, to their supporters asking them to “chip in” to raise the £20 faaaasand needed to reach even more Londoners with their bullshit and lies. With just (as I write) 8 days to go even if they meet the target it will be too late. It seems to us here that a good holiday will be in order after the campaign and spending money for Screechy’s addiction will be getting a boost from the gullible disciples.
So here’s a thing Goldibollocks and Screechy, Pieman Steve, Chief of Staff Lomax, Sargeant, and the rest of your high command, here’s some advice from a Landlord who used to live and work in London. I’ll even give it to you for free, although the team could do with some hobnobs (the coffers are bare and Sainsbury’s own just don’t taste the same)

1) if you really want to become mayor and Screechy a member of the assembly, don’t fuck off around half of the London electorate with racism and lies. In one of the most diverse and multi cultural cities in the world the voters won’t really like it..

2) When a family of a murdered man asks you not to use his memory to further your racist, islamaphobic aims, don’t. It pisses a lot of people off and a lot of these pissed off people will be voters.

3) when slagging off the favourite for the Mayoral job (Not you Goldibollocks, not you) don’t use his religion against him or at least if you do get your facts right. Whether a bloke is Muslim, Christian, Athiest, Hindu or whatever, fight him on his policies. Oh scratch this one, you haven’t got any policies that affect Londoners just the same old shit that you purvey on your Social Media page.

EBF Racist election address Sadiq Khan mayoral election May 2016 conservative 1964

4) when you lose, when Screechy loses, when your family loses and you all lose your deposits, blame the media, the establishment, the people that don’t fall for your cack and us (and other pages like us) fuck off, pack up your bollocks and close up. It is a show that this is Britain, a Britain that I want to live in, with Naz Hussain next door to me and George Shah just down the road, with the little old lady at number 21 who Naz helps with her garden, with Jeff, one of my locals, from Trinidad, who loves talking to me about my love of Cricket and warm beer, with Steve the local white Van man who hates life but loves all the mates at the pub and finally with the followers of Exposing Britain first who see through your lies at every turn.

This is my advice to you, this is my wish. That after you lose and are humiliated at the elections you go away and leave the sensible silent majority alone. I may even be minded to “chip in” to help.

Cheers

Politicians who don’t understand politics

According to The Guardian, Donald trump has messed up in the American ‘primaries’ because he doesn’t understand the electoral system – and apparently nobody could be bothered to tell him. He’s managed to get a lot of people to like him on social media and he’s had a lot turning up to rallies but when it can to the crunch he didn’t tell them to vote for the representatives who would vote for him in the next stage.

Donald trump unhappy

Of course his reaction is predictable. He blames a corrupt electoral system when really the problem is his own stupidity. He doesn’t understand the system and is too arrogant to ask.

We know someone else like that. Well, apart from the lots of people turning up to rallies part!

EBF BF Golding Biffers London mayor election 2016 montage

 

Britain First: Still inciting civil war

Yes we know, they’re trying to look ‘all respectable’, standing in the London Assembly elections and all that. But underneath that (extremely thin) veneer of reasonableness they’re still the same old thugs trying to start a civil war just llike they always did?

Don’t believe us? Have a look at this.

EBF BF Wake up and rise up.png

Britain First have been posting this sort of incitement on their Facebook platform for years now. They really can’t pretend that they don’t anticipate these sorts of responses any longer. It’s always the same – only now some of their followers are starting to put their words into practice. That’s just exactly what Britain First wants, of course.

We’ve outlined the reasoning behind their attempts to fuel division, hatred and civil violence several times. You can read blog posts explaining why it’s so profitable for them here, here and here (that last one is all about how they exploit Christianity for profit just as they exploit everything else). Alternatively, download our free PDF examining the bloodthristy tactics of the Britain First business model in rather more detail.

Britain First Interview (number 2) by Landlord

Welcome to LBC Radio covering the Mayoral election. Today our presenter, Katie Hopkins interviews Screechy Fransen of Britain First.

BF EBF Fransen Hopkins interview london elects.png

  1. Welcome to my show, Screechy. How does it feel to be the second most hated woman in Britain after me?
  2. Look you old slapper, I’m hated more, look at our name…..Britain First, it should really be Screechy First because I’m taking our country back. As it says in the bible I am the leader you have to follow.
  3. Screechy, I hate the muzzies as much as you do and refugees even more, if you get into the London Assembly how are you going to stop all this nonsense?
  4. Well Katie, once Goldibollocks is crowned Emporer and I am sitting in the Assembly as chief Harriden we will begin the systematic withdrawal of all Muzzies and refugees. We will build a wall and then kick them out. London will be for white British only. As it says in the bible “We shall fight them on the beaches”.
  5. Thats a bit extreme even for me there Screechy. What about the Indians….
  6. Well they came from America in the first place they can have them all back, although that would annoy our backers in America so maybe Anglesey will be better for them. As it says in the bible “Set sail those non believers to hell”
  7. You preach outside East London Mosque. How do you manage not to be scared?
  8. Well what we do is phone the police when we arrive and tell them that there is an awful kerfuffle outside so the police come out and protect us from the Muslim hordes. As it says in the bible “Smite them”
  9. Your Mayoral literature shows that you live at the same address as Goldibollocks, do you have fluffy cushions and matching curtains?BF EBF whos  who London Assembly Christine Smith's family firm candidates election 2016
  10. Does it? And ‘no’. It’s all crosses and Union Flag decorations. Hail Mary’s and all that too. As the bible said “Thou shall not live in sin unless you are doing Brians work”.
  11. You used to belong to another wonderful group, the EDL who love their work. Why did you leave?
  12. Well, Katy as the bible says “They’re splitters“. I left because Uncle Jim thought I should come on board the good ship Money First, oops sorry Britain First and con gullible shits out of their money. He promised me riches, a boob job and patriot holidays and you know what… it’s all come through. In the EDL, fucking splitters, all I got was a can of Stella and my bum groped.
  13. The unwashed lefties have ripped apart your manifesto saying you are a racist organisation and nothing in your pledges mean anything to the people of London.
  14. The gallows are being built now for the lefties, do not worry. They are being killed along with anyone that doesn’t agree with the Emperor and I, the high Priestess. As it says in the bible “No more Mosques, ban the burka and no to Halal foods.”
  15. That doesn’t really answer the question but I do agree with everything you say. What about refugees….
  16. as it says in the bible, “If you mention Jehovah – stone them”.
  17. Not drastic enough if you ask me. What about you as a woman so high up in a political party when some say that you are just eye candy.
  18. Well as it says in the bible “Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg”.
  19. Is there anything else you wish to add, Screechy because I know you need to get back to your bunker to plan more inciteful displays.
  20. When I am in power there will be crosses for everyone. As it says in the bible “We’re giving Pilate two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Roman imperialist state, and if he doesn’t agree immediately, we execute them”.
  21. Well, thank you screechy

(With apologies to upstanding Christians everywhere)

Geography is no object

We’ve been researching Britain First’s electoral candidates for the London Assembly election this may. This is because, having uncovered significant nepotism in the obvious cases of Golding’s mother, cousins and his little brother’s partner we thought there might be more to find. And there most certainly was.

But along the way we noticed something else. Something we hadn’t made the connection about until this image came up.

BF MEP candidates Wales 2014 Anne Elstone Christine Smith Paul GoldingNot only is this fine family of fash making a mockery of the London assembly elections (where at least they all live) but they’ve done it before. In 2014 no fewer than FOUR members of this Kentish tribe tried to persuade the good people of Wales to elect them to Europe. We have to wonder where all the Welsh Biffers who could have stood had gone.

The Welsh ballot paper included Paulie, Paulie’s Mummy, Paulie’s Daddy and Paulie’s Aunty Annie. This time it includes Paulie, Paulie’s Mummy, Paulie’s cousins, Paulie’s little brother’s partner and a host of Paulie’s mother’s neighbours from Bexley.

There seems to be something of a pattern here and it doesn’t involve respect for the electorate. Britain First has raised money from Biffers who presumably expect them to field the most competent and credible candidates they can. Instead they get a handful of Paulie’s family members and his mother’s best mates from Bingo. No doubt they’ll all nip round to Christine’s to watch the election results come in on her new wide screen telly. Eyes down for a full house.

Seriously though, is there not a single Biffer living within a single London borough who could have been even slightly more credible than Christine, Jake, Hollie and Nancy? We know that Britain First supporters are a bit thin on the ground but surely their numbers aren’t that low… are they?

The Mayoral debate (innit?) by Landlord

Picture the scene, Goldibollocks marching into a (real) TV studio, with his henchmen to meet Screechy’s bestie Nick Robinson. The prospective mayoral candidates are all being granted a 20 minute interview and Der Fuhrer and his shittroopers are on their way for their turn. In front of a TV audience of several Goldibollocks, looking like the thug statesman he wants to be is getting made up ready for his chance to shine.

The announcer. Welcome to all of you tuning into this q&a between Nick Robinson and Mr Goldibollocks of the biffer party, keeping Britain British and all that innit. Lady and Gentleman please welcome Mr Robinson and Mr Goldibollocks.

(cue Benny Hill music)

 EBF BF Nick Robinson Paul Golding mayoral debate landlord.jpg

  1. NR. Good afternoon Mr Goldibollocks
  2. That’s just what I expect from you lefty journalists calling everyfink afternoon. In Britain it’s now evening, it’s already a muzzie conspiracy, I thought screechy told you that down in Rochester.
  3. Well in my defence I didn’t know who she was.
  4. See another conspiracy from the biased lefty media against our legitimate political party. She’s the darling of Britain and I didn’t move in with her just to be able to get on the ballot paper, oh no, that’s down to those bastards at EBF that is, those people will hang when we take over power HAHAHAHAHA.
  5. You can’t go around hanging anyone who disagrees with…..
  6. (shouting to Lomax) Commander in Chief take his name for the hanging list
  7. Can I start the interview now Mr Goldibollocks
  8. So you have applied to be Mayor of London and your family and deputy are up for the London Assembly. Can I start by asking why?

PG Well we was having a beer down the Old Dog and Duck and that Mooselimb Sid Khan was on the tv giving it all that. Then I was having a Cuzzer with Screechy and the high command I almost spat my Korma out when they said anyone could be Mayor. I told my muckers to find out all about it, get it funded by our twelvty million gullible supporters, and Jims my Uncle here I am.

  1. But that’s not a real reason?
  2. You’re already trying my patience, you appeaser. I want to take my party into oblivion obviously.
  3. We had a look at your accounts and there seems to be more holes in there than substance, if you can’t manage your own accounts how can London trust you with a budget of Billions?
  4. Well Stevie is no good a keeping banners but seems to be able to do our accounts. We use the Barings bank method and hide our heads in the sand. If anyone questions us we have our back up plan…ban the burka, no more mosques, no more halal.
  5. But there is a budget of 16billion last year how will this be distributed?
  6. Ban the Burka, no more Halal, No more mosques.
  7. What is the total amount you, as an individual, earned from Britain First including salary and expenses?
  8. Well I had a good year last time out. The gullible fools on our Facebook Page provided all that the high command required to live on. I mean look at Screechy’s tits they ain’t cheap. And hiring a pool hall for an evening that ain’t a couple of quid.
  9. You call them gullible fools aren’t they going to see through you now.
  10. Most of them are bought likes, the others are mostly from the US who think they can vote!! The money keeps rolling in it’s great!!

(A loud wail is heard as Screechy shouts)

Screechy. Goldi!!! Shut the fuck up for God’s sake!

  1. EBF BF Golding's MummyGiven that except for Jayda every BF candidate this May is either a relative or neighbour of your mother – this is just ‘jobs for the boys’ style nepotism isn’t it?
  2. Have you seen the rules for the election, must have been drawn up by some lefty muslim. I mean how can I get my high command in when they don’t live in London. My Ma and family are fully behind me and if I knew what nepotism meant I’ll hang you.
  3. If indeed Britain First is a Christian organisation, why does almost every Christian branch reject Britain First, and why does Britain First speak ill of certain Archbishops, when they have gone against Britain First?
  4. No one is more Christian than us, No One I tell you, have you seen our triumphant marches with our crosses. The other branched of Christianity are nothing but libtards and unwashed lefty muslim appeasers who will be hung so High Priestess Screechy can take her rightful place on the throne.
  5. Why does Britain First not talk out against white, English (and often Christian) criminals (including terrorists), when they expect Muslims to denounce Muslim criminals (including terrorists) every 30 minutes?
  6. Because white christians never ever break the law. In fact when I am leader of the universe all white christian crime will be wiped from the record books, as long as you hold a cross or a bible you will have done nothing wrong. And if you wear fleeces with our emblem you get to stone a muzzie.
  7. Why does Britain First continue knowingly to flout the law, and then get annoyed when they have been caught?
  8. Ban the burka, no more mosques and Ban Halal.
  9. If IS are deemed to be true Muslims by BF, due to following the Qur’an very literally, does this mean that BF are not true Christians as Jayda should not be speaking according to very literal text ?
  10. Not in our Bible…the Biffer cherry picked verses bible.
  11. There is criticism that you have tried to say that only Muslim men are capable of grooming and sexual offences against minors yet one of your own is on the sex offenders register. What do you say to those who raise this issue?
  12. Well Nick you lefty, ban the burka, ban Halal and stop building mosques.
  13. This is going well. How about this question. how will you maintain the status quo in the capital with its diverse multi culturalism?
  14. Status Quo! I liked ‘Whatever you want’.Status Quo whatever you want.jpg
  15. The question still stands
  16. Well seeing as I’m building a wall just inside the M25 to stop anyone slightly multi-cultural or foreign-looking getting in… London for the British. Ban Halal, Ban the burka and stop building mosques.
  17. So that’s the sum total of the Biffer manifesto then, Ban the Burka, Ban Halal and close all mosques.
  18. Not at all. We stand for more pies for Stevie, free tit jobs for all Biffer high command, new banners, Freedom of the City for Uncle Jim. Loads really.
  19. You are having rallies outside the capital. As people not in the capital can’t vote isn’t this a little silly?
  20. This is where you lefty media types are wrong. All our millions of followers can vote for us, postal vote forms are being posted to America, Coventry is a well known area of London and we will not be stopped. It’s all lefty Muslim appeasers that have stopped non Londoners from voting and we will not stand for it.

EBF BF Banner antifa

  1. What happens if you don’t win and all this has been a tremendous waste of money?
  2. Uncle Jim has already told us we will win and he’s never wrong. I mean we have Knights and shit behind us. And if we don’t it will be because the vote has been rigged by the establishment to keep us out.
  3. So to sum up your attempt at seizing control of the capital, you will ban the burka, ban Halal, tear down the mosques, kick out anyone non-white, rape the banks, put banners up, buy more pies, make a hate preacher ‘Freeman of the city’, hang lefty’s and screw this great capital into the ground.
  4. About right, but I’d also make the admins and followers of Exposing Britain First watch our compendium of videos of Screechy until they repent.
  5. Well I’d like to thank you for this interview. Like to, but I can’t, you useless bunch of spunktrumpets.