The votes had been cast, the Fuhrer conceded defeat early (in yet another tiresome video) and we sat on the edges of our seats wondering how many votes they’d manage to get. And I decided I’d write a letter to Goldibollocks and Screechy to ask them some questions…
Dear Goldibollocks and Screechy,
Many thanks from the Admins and followers of Exposing Britain First for your comedy series over the last few weeks since you decided to stand for the London Mayor and the Assembly. I noted that you said that you had put forward your family as candidates but upon checking the results I can see no mention of Britain First outside you and the Fuhress. What happened Chumley? Did they disappear behind the sofa? Were they buried underneath a patio? Did the nasty election people not print their names on the voting slip???? I’m sure your loyal disciples would love to know.
EBF and I would also love to see where the money you conned out of your sheep went. We are waiting (with a forensic accountant) to see your accounts, when Stevie gets a new ribbon for his typewriter, that are forwarded to the Election Commission. What will they show? More importantly, what will they hide? I can understand where some of the money went but ‘Operation Lionheart’? A hard hitting video on social media for £2500? I think you need to sack your minister of propaganda. Just remember, if you don’t publish them properly Old Moley will find a way to get them to us (if that doesn’t work we could always make some up and pass them off as yours no one would know the difference between one work of fiction and another).
I take it you now realise that the people don’t support your “party” in any numbers and are utterly fed up of your “operations” like the Slaughterhouse debacle, the ELM marathon, the Sharia COUNCIL raid. They make you look stupid in the eyes of the media and the people (and they make us laugh at you). The police are slowly catching up with your high command. Your activists, all 20 of them, are banned from most places.
So from us to you, give it up, pocket the cash you have fleeced from your members, stolen from armed forces charities and go away. The silent majority in this country don’t like you, don’t like what you stand for, find your whole Christian Zealot, racist, Islamaphobic rhetoric disgusting and nothing is going to change their minds. This majority has put up with you and your fellow Islamaphobes, you know the ones that hate you as much as they hate the Muslims, for long enough. Why do you think all us unwashed, traitorous lefties, Muslim appeasers and Muslims all come out on your strolls to shout at you? We always get more than your numbers even though you tell you American friends you have faaaasands there. So go on do us all a favour, tell your 800000 real followers (600000 in the UK) that you are packing it in, then we’ll do the same. I might get some time to spend with my family, stop having to watch your videos and suffer Screechy’s screeching.
Finally I do thank you for one thing. Being an Admin at EBF has let me meet and talk to some amazing people all dedicated to your downfall both on the page and the admins. I don’t believe you will jack it in but it would be nice. If you don’t, you won’t be lonely. We’ll be here to keep you company.
Yours forever in hope (book of Landlord 10:13)