Fransen & Trump: A most undiplomatic incident by Landlord

Trump Fransen tweets shame.pngI was going to write my annual piss take with some Landlord friends of mine along the lines of I’m a racist cockwomble get me out of here. Instead with the diplomatic incident caused by Screechy and cohorts I thought I’d talk about that instead.

The media whores that are biffer high command think they have done it and have thrust themselves into the limelight. Questions in the House, multiple press interviews and a spokeswoman saying butt out. The reason, well, the Orange shitgibbon that calls himself president retweeted three of Screechy’s videos and now high command are wanking over the thought of all this publicity.

But far from leaving the team here at EBF banging our collective heads against the desk and giving up, as the dust settles and Screechy putting Biffer heads above the parapet it seems to have backfired spectacularly.

Biffer HQ have said they have been inundated with new members, probably from the US to rip off however a few extra Facebook likes and twitter follows are more likely the truth.

Fransen on the telly

The media reports have been to a letter uncomplimentary even Brietfart and the Heil being disparaging, those interviews I’ve seen show Screechy running out when questioned closely, the trigger question…”have you actually spoken to the Orange Shitgibbon?” They proclaimed victory over the odious and right wing LBC radio host Nick Ferrari when all I could hear was that she couldn’t answer any question he asked. They’ve even call Nigel Fartage a lefty now showing how far right they think they are. So the press ain’t helping them.

The questions in the House of Commons showed how much our elected officials think of the biffers. Although they had to be careful what they said so as not to prejudice future court cases.

Then along comes the sting in the tail, Screechy put their head above the parapet again and the press were ready. We’ve known about certain allegations for some time now, choosing not to say anything until they were substantiated. Goldibollocks is under investigation not for the size of his appendage but for a sexual assault. We understand that the investigation is ongoing but he, this paragon of Christian virtues, someone who confronts alleged wrongdoers (not bravely but with his shittroopers in tow) is now under investigation for the very thing he supposedly hates.

The press have also confirmed they are a group and no longer a “legitimate” political party. They failed to pay the £25 registration fee in time (must have spent it all on their jaunt round Europe). So now on their days of handing out the disgusting racist pamphlets on the streets one assumes they will be seeking council permission to do so.

The press have now intimated more forcefully than we could, the closeness between the biffers and the killer of Jo Cox and they’ve also shown two of the three videos retweeted by the cuntspangle in the White House to be bollocks.

So as the High Command prepare for their phone box racism (or conference as they like to call it) the biffers are starting to implode thanks to the white supremacist in charge of the western world, the two Fuehrers are on bail, Goldibollocks is being investigated for a sexual assault and the begging letters continue. There’s a hell of a lot more for us to raise our glasses to rather than bruise our heads on our desks.

Oh and Screechy, what time is your new bestie landing and getting off Air Force One to share a Vol au Vent?

Toodlepip

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Just another crazy American

EBF Trump crazy AmericanI was out having coffee with an old friend from my hometown when the news broke. We were sitting in a swanky coffee shop making adoring noises in the general direction of our new humans (her delightful little treasure is a month or two older than mine) when our mutual admiration fest was interrupted by mobile phone alerts. My old friend was first to comment.

“OMG! Trump’s been retweeting Britain First! You’re something to do with EBF aren’t you?”

I almost fell off my chair. Not only did I not know she’d heard of EBF, I definitely didn’t know she knew I was involved.

“Yes,” I replied, taken aback.

“I’m EBF Blogger”

“I knew it!” She exclaimed. “I knew that was you. I can tell your style of writing a mile away!”

My friend and I had gone right through school together. We almost always sat next to each other and even met in each other’s houses to do homework. We really were the geeky girls of the class. So it stands to reason that if anyone would know my writing style, she would.

“So?” She inquired. “What do you make of that?”

“Just another crazy American who thinks they understand British society.” I said.

“Most of Britain First’s followers are either paid-for clickfarm likes or foreigners. The American Christian right wing has always been keen on slagging off non-Christians so BF’s anti-Muslim, anti-brown agenda appeals to them.”

My friend stared blankly back at me, clearly surprised that I didn’t see this ‘shot in the arm’ for the Biffers as a problem.

“It’s no big deal.” I said. “Britain First has lost all credibility in UK. British people took a while to see them for what they are but now everybody who cares to look knows that they’re a bunch of far-right bigots. They can get American Facebook support if they want but that won’t help them in this country. If they get a few American donors… IF that happens they’ll just squander the money on European holidays and fines for public order offences anyway.”

“So you’re not worried that the President of the free world just endorsed them?”

“The president of what? I didn’t vote in that election. He’s president of America – nowhere else. And anyway – even the Yanks want shot of him!”

My friend smiled and sat back in her overly stuffed comfy chair.

“Just another crazy American, then.” She said, wiping the second most adorable little baby face in the world.

A heartfelt apology by Landlord

EBF Fransen arrested.jpgI/we have an apology to make, in the two and a half years since I became an admin on Exposing Britain First I’ve never made an appeal but this week I’ve looked in petty cash, behind the sofa and all I found was 22p a half packet of hobnobs, a small jar of coffee, 33 mint imperials and a half packet of wine gums. The reason for looking……our irony machine and biffer outrage machines are fucked, they packed up and left the office sometime on Thursday and haven’t been seen since.

We urgently need twelvty million pounds or Ant, Foxy, Nemesis and Prole will be gently rocking in their office chairs and I and the others will bugger off down the pub to drink what is left of our funds.

Poppy outrage is over, mirth over as Goldibollocks tried to show reverence as he laid a wreath, at 4 o’clock and everyone else was tucking into their Sunday lunch or watching the Grand Prix. Reports that he was told he was not welcome at the actual parade are as yet unconfirmed.

Screechy meanwhile the upholder of all things British and on this most patriotic of days, conned the police so she didn’t have to sign on in Bromley and went, not to a Remembrance service, but to address a bunch of Polish Nazis. Biffer propaganda tried to spin it that she was talking to the 30000 Poles at their Independence Day rally when in actual fact she was speaking to a fringe of goose stepping Polish Fascists. Next time she says anything about Remembrance Day and patriotism she can only get a big fuck off from all over here.

With Remembrance Day done and dusted it wasn’t long before the next Biffer outrage, Tesco. Now I’m a grumpy fucker as the landlady can agree so my outrage at Tesco and others is that there are twelve days of Christmas and none of them are in fucking November but the biffer high command was incandescent with rage as Tesco had the audacity to put a Muslim family in their festive advertising, cue the biggest bigoted frothfest seen since, well since Remembrance weekend. Muslims celebrating Christmas, they spluttered it’s not possible. My next door neighbour is called Mo, his wife Fayez( I hope I have that right she’ll kill me if I don’t), and his kids are Muslim. He’s not devout as he enjoys the odd pint and bets on the Grand National but he attends the mosque every other day. He has already got his Christmas lights up on the house and as I write is going to buy a tree. You see they enjoy Christmas more than I do, they host a wonderful Christmas party which most of our road attend, invite my family round on Christmas Day. Someone needs to tell Screechy and Goldibollocks that the birth of Jesus has connotations in Islamic faith as much as it does Christianity. So to those fucknuggets at biffer high command, shove your outrage up your arse.

Outrage number two, and a video from Screechy. I can just see it now in biffer HQ, “we need to be outraged at something,” Goldibollocks and Screechy say, “read the newspapers, scan the airwaves find us something to screech at or else.” Then Steve sees it, tries to cover it up…….but it’s there……a sausage roll. A sausage fucking roll, but not any sausage roll, a Greggs pork sausage roll. The bakery chain held in high regard in biffer circles, had the audacity to make an advert with a sausage roll instead of Jesus in a nativity scene. Now I personally am a non believer, but if that outrages anyone then Christianity has gone to the dogs. I thought the advert was brilliant but the far right exploded in disgust. Greggs later pulled the advert but for fucks sake a sausage fucking roll upsetting the biffers……please.

There is going to be more outrage, that is without a doubt, so our poor biffer outrage machine needs replacing. Please please please, think of the admins, press the imaginary donate button and give generously. Maybe we may make our twelvty million target so Prole can go on a virtual holiday as she’s looking a bit pale recently, I can buy in a virtual barrel of ale and the others can have something better than Spar coffee.

Toodlepip

Let the outrage commence by Landlord

Beer 2The I’m outraged at ……. season has begun at Biffer command and watch out if your skin is slightly more tanned than theirs… you’re going to get it. As sure as eggs are eggs Poppy anger rolls into Christmas being banned, into Easter being stopped into St George’s day and then back to Remembrance Day again. You can set your watch, calendar or phone by it when frothing biffers recount tales of unicorns and pots of gold at the rainbow’s end – or lies as we like to call them.

The first unicorn instance started early, a guy in TfL uniform was accused of telling a poppy seller to get orf the land, cue outrage and the frothfest began. One of my colleagues actually sent a comment to TfL about it and was told that it happened in 2013 and he was actually protecting her. But it was enough for the bigots to fire the starting pistol on Muslim bashing.

The next unicorn instance came as England cricket players left to go to the ashes down under. In a team picture Moeen Ali didn’t have the obligatory poppy on his suit for the team picture, although he did have one later when they landed. But this was enough to start the foaming with super suds. Now I’ve actually met Mo at a cricket against racism event at the Oval, and I have to say he’s a lovely bloke. He is so proud of pulling on the Three Lions shirt, kisses the badge when he scores a ton and proud of representing his country, something Screechy and Goldibollocks and the high command can only dream of. If Moeen says it fell off I believe him more than the fucknuggets at Biffer Towers.

I noticed that as news of Moeen’s slip broke, Screechy and Goldibollocks were protesting about something or other and didn’t have Poppy’s on and neither did have the majority of supporters but we won’t make a fuss.

As regular followers of this page will know Screechy, Goldibollocks and the high command have a bit of previous with Poppy’s, the Royal British Legion and the false patriotism that they attach to it. They also have short memories about respect unlike Moeen. These are not made up details they are actual facts.

1. whilst an erstwhile member of the BNP Goldibollocks decided to wear underwear on his head at the cenotaph (rumours of them being Steve Lewis’s are as yet unproven) I haven’t seen Moeen do this as I suspect he thinks this is disrespectful.
2. The biffers try to sell poppy tat. The high command and the shittroopers have peddled their own crappy merchandise despite being asked to stop by the RBL. They didn’t and no money was ever received by the RBL even though the biffer blurb told their sheeple it would. The RBL have also said they wouldn’t take anything from them as they don’t accept donations from a political party. So Screechy and Goldibollocks have pocketed the dosh. There’s a video about too where an old man confronts Goldibollocks and a shittrooper about selling this. Goldibollocks in true biffer style then runs away. I doubt Moeen would have done this as it would be theft and a little disrespectful.
3. Last year Goldibollocks and Screechy sent their shittroopers out to various shopping centres and places where poppy sellers were. They instructed their accomplices to get selfies with the sellers and then posted these on Facebook saying they were guarding them from lefties and Muslims. This caused a such a furore as parents and military cadet organisations to request the removal of the pictures and had to issue statements to the effect of they didn’t know who the biffers were. Moeen I expect would only take selfies with fans of England Cricket, he’d never take selfies to pass them off as guarding pictures as that would be disrespectful.
So there you have it, a misplaced poppy, a foamfest from the cockwombles and racist comments from the bifferati. But there again who is the more disrespectful, Moeen Ali, a cricket player who proudly represents his country or a group of scam artists who rip off the RBL, use kids to further their hate and worship a thundercunt who walks around with y fronts on his head. The decision is yours.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool 50 by Landlord

Beer 2I love how my autocorrect suggests potatoes instead of Patriots…

So as the dust settles on the biffer soap opera, here in the office the BBC bleep machine would be going into overtime censoring the admins as we digest the news that Screechy and Goldibollocks have managed to walk away from court and the sheeple that follow them have declared victory over the commie cops and judiciary.

But what exactly have they won, as sure as the clocks go back each year a begging email comes out asking for twelvty million paaaands (or £25k in anybody else’s parlance) and the racist cockwombles lap it up. Could this be the last payment to the gruesome twosome, a sort of pension as the biffers implode, or the first of many such emails to string out their so-called political careers.

Over the last few weeks the feuhrers have had a holiday in Lanzarote and met some meaningless potatoes across Europe sticking two fingers up at the law they insist Muslims abide by.

So is there evidence of the biffers imploding, finally giving EBF followers what we’ve been working for for years well yes……..and no and here’s my view.

1. The high command appear to have been frozen out, Lewis, Lomax and the others in the bunker were overlooked for the jaunt in favour of head potato Andrew Edge. Andrew is ex EDL and not a nice chap. He was convicted of assault on police at an EDL rally in Birmingham and spent time inside, he also took part in a hunger strike outside Rotherham Police Station. I say hunger strike, sandwiches, kebabs and Stella didn’t count as food in his eyes. I would place a small wager that Screechy and Goldibollocks do not particularly like Edge but that he is being kept close to stop further charges that Goldibollocks doesn’t want out.

2. There is a real chance that our heroes will go down for the charges they face. For those of you living in a bubble it appears they attempted to harass the accused in a rape trial almost causing a mistrial, harassed people who had moved into one of the accused house and frightened them so much as they published the address. The accused were rightly found guilty and sentenced in accordance with the law Screechy and Goldibollocks hold in such contempt. Given their previous surely jail time can’t be far away. They have pled not guilty to these charges although their wonderful videos seem to have provided the evidence required to prosecute them.

3. The new allegations. We deliberately have kept quiet about these as we are still unable to substantiate them, apart from the cowardly assault by Goldibollocks on a fellow Biffer, something he has pled guilty to. Some fairly big and nasty people seem to have it in for Der Fuehrer and there seems to be evidence of this as the leaders left court furtively looking around and wanting to get the hell out of dodge, they had no black shirts surrounding them(see point one)

4. They appear to be trying desperately to shore up some more support from their dwindling numbers of potatoes on the ground, from Jean Marie Le Penn’s fascist group in France who gave Edge a €5 keyring (made up to be a medal of honour) to other fascist groups across Europe. Screechy also appears to have waded in on Edge’s pet project, the Justice for Chelsey campaign that other hideous fash seem to have taken over. Now we don’t know what happened here but the Northumberland police and the CPS dropped the case after inconsistencies in statements were found, no DNA and no cctv evidence were found. But as sure as night is day Screechy turned up and the fuehrers seem to be trying to recruit.

5. Against them being jailed is just one thing. Speaking to various professionals in the legal field, police and judiciary the recent abscondment across Europe should have been enough to have them remanded in custody the fact they walked free, however temporarily, has the office in near apoplectic shock. Are they grasses?? Do the police just want them clear so as not to make martyrs of them or are the magistrates just stupid beyond belief to believe the bovine excretia coming from their mouths. What is different from before is they haven’t banged on about their bail conditions this time and we wonder if they are slightly more draconian than before.

Now I’ve been forced to watch their recent videos, and most(all) of the things they state are total lies. The good potatoes of this country said riot police with shields went into the demo to arrest Jayda, that they pushed old women to the floor, a dog got choked. We have checked and nothing like this happened. What you can be sure of is that the publicity whore that Screechy is was aware she would be arrested and did it to increase tensions.

So I wouldn’t go back to just posting pictures of your dinners and fluffy cats just yet as the fight continues, this pleases our local supermarket as their sales of hobnobs and coffee would drop off hugely, and I will still be forced to watch their videos. Although why I have to do this in the pub as my locals think I am a drunken bum with Tourette’s. In actual fact I think we shall have to make up a new malady…….Biffer Tourette’s, there is no cure just hobnobs, Hobgoblin and coffee.

Toodlepip

Cable Street: 81 years and still No pasaran!

mosleyIt’s exactly 81 years since the people of Britain held back the first incarnation of uniformed British fascists at the East London barricades of Cable Street. Responding to a Europe-wide trend of Fascism that stretched from the Eastern European Slavic states to Italy, Spain and Germany, the British Union of Fascists sought to make Britain a far-right dictatorship along the lines of Hitler’s Germany. Vehemently racist and anti-Semitic, the BUF was led by Oswald Mosley, an English aristocrat who saw international Jewry as the enemy of the world and who believed passionately in the ‘dog eat dog’ struggle of social Darwinism. For Mosley and his supporters, democracy was a weakness, Nothing short of violent revolution would be sufficient to realise the Blackshirts’ dream of one nation, one empire and one leader. Mosley seems to have learned that from his German friend and mentor, Adolf Hitler whose Nazi party slogan, Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer was a strong influence on the BUF and its upper echelons.

The British Union of Fascists was one of several far-right organisations in 1930s Britain. The Right Club and The Nordic League (also both with ties to Nazi Germany) were less well-known but equally fascist in their ideals. There was significant cross-over in membership and all were profoundly racist and anti-Semitic. All preferred dictatorship over democracy and all saw Hitler, Mussolini and Franco as role models.

The BUF was the one with most appeal to the working class though. The Blackshirts combined street violence and visceral prejudice with political policies that scapegoated the vulnerable and sought above all to maintain the privileged status quo that, despite oppressing most of their supporters, did at least allow them to feel superior to Johnny foreigner. In that respect the BUF was a cross between today’s UKIP and Britain First movements and its divisive policies clearly serve as inspiration for both.

Golding may not have the courage of Mosley, a genuine war hero and the Biffers may be only a pitiful parody of the genuinely disciplined Blackshirts but don’t let that fool you. Their objectives are the same, even if they have no chance of organising themselves sufficiently to achieve them.

cable-streetOn Sunday October 4th 1936 things came to a head. Mosley and his deputy William Joyce had planned to hold a march, a show of strength to further harass and intimidate the many Jews living in the district. They had amassed between four and six thousand BUF supporters, all smartly uniformed and well-disciplined like a tight-knit military unit to march through the area as  part of the same time-honoured ‘march and grow’ strategy so favoured by modern fascist groups like Britain First and the English Defence League. Unfortunately for the fash things didn’t quite go according to plan.

They arrived in East London to be met by well over 100,000 opposers from all over Britain. The intended route anticipated the Blackshirts marching down Cable St, an important thoroughfare that stretched from Butcher Row all the way to Dock St. To march unopposed down Cable St would have meant a strong symbolic victory for Mosley’s fascists, allowing them to claim dominance over the most multi-cultural part of the city, arguably of the whole country. Cable St.  was the prize and Cable St. was where they must be stopped.

Barricades were erected along the route from furniture, vans parked across the road, mattresses, sandbags, even suitcases. Every entrance to the street was blocked. Even the junction with ‘Golding St.’, named after the Jewish jewellers who worked there was secured. Although not in the least ironic at the time, this has certainly raised an eyebrow or two since, leading many to speculate about the true heritage of Der Englander Fuhrer, Paul Golding himself.

What followed was a three-way battle between Mosley’s fascists, the anti-fascist crowds who had come to block their path and the beleaguered and outnumbered police who tried vainly to secure a path for Mosley and his men. Many would later claim, indeed still do claim that far from remaining neutral the police actually fought alongside the BUF against the protesters. We at EBF make no claim to know the truth of this but given the political climate of the day it seems at least plausible to suppose that they might have.

What we do know is that the Blackshirts did not pass the Cable St. barricade. We know that many, including Mosley himself were injured in the violence that ensued that day and we know that the East End of London won a victory that resounded not only throughout the nation but across the decades as well.

2015 rally luton london refugee BF

Never again has any fascist organisation gained the sort of popularity that the BUF enjoyed all those years ago. Never again has the British population allowed any far-right group from the British National Party to the National Front and the English Defence League the space to grow unopposed. Never again will fascists get to intimidate our citizens in the sort of numbers our forefathers saw in the 1930s.

This is our legacy.

This is the legacy of Cable St.

This is why Britain First is doomed never again to muster more than a few dozen supporters to their real world events.

The spirit of Cable St lives on in the national mindset and through the memory of that epic stand the Great British people continue to echo the proud, strong slogan of East London’s finest pre-war hour…

They shall not pass!

A view from a barstool 49 by Landlord

Beer 2So here I am again, a month after Britain First was imploding with allegations from nasty fascists against nasty fascists and the charges hanging over them. Fast forward a month and the Britain Firsts own Eva and Adolf are off on a European jaunt fucking over their supporters who blindly send money to a legal fund that appears to be funding the European invasion. The bollocks they spout about visiting fellow patriots across the continent they quite frankly hate. To be honest the only patriots they have been photographed with have been a confused looking youngish bloke and a dead ringer for a resistance member from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

The confusing question for the EBF team is why they have taken a fucknugget like Andy Edge, the walking talking EDL fuckwit, a man that camped outside a Rotherham Police station, went on hunger strike and wore the same t-shirt for two weeks. I say hunger strike… apparently kebabs, sandwiches and Stella weren’t part of the strike. He is also a convicted felon with question marks over his involvement in a case in Northumberland and missing funds.

BF EBF Golding with drunk Frenchman
Golding posing with a random drunk Frenchman

Before we go all ‘conspiracy theorist’ let’s have a look at the background to the hopefully final jolly for the fuhrers for some time. Firstly they have now been charged and bailed for racially aggravated harassment. In their words they “exposed Islamic rapists” but as we all know, they actually exposed nobody. In fact the people they ‘exposed’ had already been arrested and were being tried through the ‘Islam supporting’ judicial system, were found guilty and sentenced by a ‘lefty’ judge to 14 years imprisonment. Screechy turned up at an address where one of these rapists lived for a while but had moved and harassed the new occupants and caused distress.

 

Screechy and Goldibollocks did more to fuck up the trial than the defence.

They were charged and given bail conditions that curtailed their activities. In one video the team forced me to watch the fuhrers stated they will never surrender and fight it all the way.

“Oh by the way, you gullible cockwombles, could you send us 25k for our defence?” They said before promptly buggering off to Lanzarote.

We’ve heard and seen the rumours/allegations that have been floating around about Goldibollocks and further revelations about Jayda. More charges could be brought, perhaps they already have been but until we have irrefutable proof we won’t publish.

So here we are, the wankpuffins that are Britain First are unraveling before our eyes. Goldibollocks and Screechy are cowardly scam artists conning money from gullible vsheeple. They put up a front of togetherness when jealousy, distrust and hatred are the true order of the day.

The latest hilarious episodes just show how much they are trying to get their pensions paid by the blind fucknuggets that follow them. Firstly someone deleted their websites, the second they claim they want to sue UKRAP for using their lion. Hopefully they’ll get a few years behind bars, Britain First will go away and I can get back to drinking Hobgoblin.

Toodlepip