A view from a barstool #35 by Landlord

Ha!!!! 1-0 to me, both over the Landlady who made me rebuild the pub garden for the kids only to see 2 days of drizzle, and after last week’s ‘view from a barstool’, over the biffers as they duly posted the poppy burning story. So a smug, grumpy landlord is writing this week.

Still no word on the erstwhile absence of Goldibollocks and Screechy and although we, at EBF towers really couldn’t care less we’ve been putting forward ideas as to what had happened to the cockwombles in chief, ranging from Stevie mistook them for a mobile Greggs and was sitting on them to Screechy temporarily joined a nunnery whilst Goldibollocks converted to Catholicism and was hiding from Uncle Jim. Yifter though had the boring idea that they’d used the latest begging money to visit the Westboro Baptist Church to exchange ideas. Whatever it  was, maybe,whoever had been left in charge of their page just locked the door, put a cabinet up against it and spent their time laughing maniacally on an old search engine which struggled to find anything past 2010.

Their roadshow continues this time in London. At the moment the location is a closely guarded secret but guesses on Twitter and Facebook both on where and how many attendees would be gratefully received for no other reason it will give us a laugh, we may even be able to send a penny chew to you as hallowe’en draws near.

The truth is while the biffer high command are away and the twatspangle who runs the page in their absence is posting all the ancient, rehashed shit that he/she is it’s really difficult to concentrate on bifferland and to write much. I might even have to do some actual work.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #34 by Landlord

Well there’s a thing, another week of lovely warm sunshine keeping winter at bay and I’m getting it in the neck from the Landlady for putting away the summer play things in the pub garden, I blame the weathermen who told me it was going to be a short Indian summer.

I have a question to ask. Are you ready for the Biffers silly season? Yep it’s that time again. As Autumn hits our shores the biffers propaganda ministry will go into overdrive. Muslims taking control of government and councils to harm all British patriots’ way of life. Hallowe’en, Remembrance Day, Christmas, the usual shit fuelled by the bastions of truth The Sun, Mail and Express.

So lets have a look at these Great British traditions one by one. These traditions that every year are supposedly shut down by Islamic leaders, every year we see hysterical headlines and social media statuses that are basically either downright lies or twist the story to such a degree that Muslims are made to be the evil ones fuelling an already slow burning hatred that has got worse since the referendum.

Hallowe’en, the day when parents all over the country, who normally wouldn’t let their kids go round knocking on doors or talking to strangers, allow their kids to do just that. This last year was supposedly banned in a lot of areas. It wasn’t in most places and where it was it was the police and councils fearing anti social behaviour. Again we saw headlines in the gruesome threesome and fuelled the hate.

Remembrance day – the day British Patriots adore as once more they can pretend to be more patriotic than the rest of us. Age old stories will be regurgitated, poppies being burnt, Muslims disrespecting the dead, Muslims stopping remembrance marches and Biffers adding security to armed forces cadets selling poppies.

The poppies were burnt, yes but a long time ago, the people doing it were dealt with there and then and they were rightly convicted and fined. It reminds me of the pictures I saw of a certain BNP racist cockwomble wandering around the cenotaph with a pair of Y-fronts om his head. If you havent seen this before this arsewipe has become leader of a “registered political” party.

Our memes last year documented the hundreds of thousands of Muslims who died protecting our freedom. Their relatives must be wondering why right now.

Finally, on Remembrance Day , or at least on the run up to the day Goldibollocks tells his shit troopers to go and “protect” the army of cadets who collect money for veterans from the hordes of lefties and Muslims that are out to desecrate the memories of the fallen. Except they don’t protect…..they hide away until any adults have gone off then get a selfie with the cadets, place it on Facebook and the dickwads that follow the page eat it up. The Biffers respect our fallen so much they sell tat, dressed up as British Legion merchandise and pocket the money for their own grubby means.

A friend of the page, John McKnight has been asking Goldibollocks where the money raised has gone. Ask yourself the question then, who disrespects the fallen more, Muslims, lefties, Foldibollocks or the biffers.

Finally Christmas, I don’t think there is a day goes by in November or December that a headline in the gruesome threesome, a meme or a link to an ultra right wing think tank that doesn’t say CHRISTMAS GETS CANCELLED. Now I don’t like Christmas apart from my coffers bulging but each to their own. The Muslims I know celebrate the day, maybe not as christians do but still give presents, invite friends for a cocktail or three (grrr not spending in my gaff) and generally enjoy the time as much as a certain grumpy landlord. Also, in the afternoon, Naz opens his store for forgotten things and fags. The reasons lights, decorations or trees don’t go up is not Muslims, grumpy landlords or athiests it’s because councils can’t afford it, health and safety or a myriad of other reasons.

MUSLIMS DO NOT WANT TO CANCEL CHRISTMAS!

But it doesn’t matter to Biffers. Any article in the propaganda sheets will be siezed upon and twisted for their own gain to keep the anti Muslim sentiment going.

I would offer a packet of toffee chocolate hobnobs if you manage to see a positive article about any of these but I checked EBF coffers and we seem only to have half a packet of midget gems, two packets of quavers, a bottle of Lambrini and a packet of hummus.

Now back to the job, putting back up the climbing frame, swings and benches…..wheres my hammer.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #33 by Landlord

I sit here basking in the late summer sunshine, beer in hand, kids running about (now finally back at school). I’m wondering what the fuck brexit means, whether my life would’ve been better had I been to grammar school and I’m watching the paralympics on TV, marvelling at how these athletes overcame disabilities to perform at the highest level with more patrotism than the combined darkside of the far right fucknuggets.

And that brings us on to all things Biffer. An upcoming trip to Wales, begging letters that appear to show desperation, videos that probably were filmed on Betamax they’re so old and finally a sighting of the lesser known Screechy.

The next stage of the Biffer roadtrip moves into Wales, probably countered by Antifa, which we here at EBF Towers call musical chairs. We have to say that Moley doesn’t think many will turn up apart from the usual hierachy, so called ‘security’ and a few knuckledragging racists. I did wonder if, instead of building a wall in Calais, we shouldn’t build one round Wales to stop Goldibollocks and the high command coming back. Then I remembered that I love Wales, having holidayed on the Pembrokeshire coast during my formative years and have quite a few mates living there. It will be another jingoistic display, probably begging for money and full of anti Muslim and lefty rhetoric.

To the begging letters, which according to Der Fuhrer will stop for a bit (probably as they’ve paid for his trip to the all white enclave Uncle Jim and Nick Griffin have set up in Hungary) have become almost hilarious, definitely desperate and possibly fraudulant. Now “donations” are being paid into their “Merchandising” account as their normal account has been frozen by their provider, probably because the provider has worked out that they are racist spunktrumpets which goes against their terms and conditions. So once the company returns the 7.5k, the muppets have got 15 faaasaaaand paaands in their account. However, Team EBF reckon HMRC might be interested in it. Whatever it is it stinks worse than Stevie Lewis on a hot day with no deodorant.

The videos are even worse. The high command seem to have ramped up the islamaphobic sentiment on their page. They seemingly trawl through Youtube finding any slightly brown people gathered in a town causing fights and Jim’s your Uncle – Muslims riot, Muslims beat someone up, Muslims this or Muslims that. The trouble is these are videos from years ago, some not in this country and most don’t even show Muslims. On one of their feeder pages they even decided to publish a video of a Christian hate preacher being drowned out by bagpipes and dressed it up as a Muslim hate preacher being drowned out. Even when some of our page readers told them what the original was about their sheeple and disciples had already decided their version of the truth.

Now I haven’t really missed her but she’s finally surfaced. The lesser spotted Dutchy ‘screechy’ Fransen finally was spotted in Birmingham. On one of their increasingly inflammatory days out, countered by antifa, Screechy was seen chatting to the Police. We think, well I do, that she was probably checking that she hadn’t broken any bail conditions. Talking of bail conditions did Goldibollocks break his when they invaded a Mosque in Cardiff? BBC say that the Mosque have complained about the invasion so watch this space.

So thats it then, the week in Bifferdom… lies, possible fraud and another roadtrip. Hopefully another week closer to their closure. Disgusting as they are I still laugh at the majority of their antics. Time now for another pint, a quick tab and get the new pool team to take the game seriously.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #32 by Landlord

As I rapidly approach my first anniversary as an EBF team admin, I thought I’d share a few before and after snapshots of my life as an admin on this superb page, fash fatigue and the laughs and tears that we’ve shared in this time.

Before joining Team EBF I was very much fighting the right wing, trolling various pages with mates and making an annoyance of ourselves. The EDL, various Infidel pages, Casuals, and of course Britain First all had visits. But thinking back on it, it never made any difference to the way they thought. To bastardise a Farage (ugh) phrase, “racist means racist.” Although it was fun, and made me many new facebook friends I wasn’t going to change the knuckledragging idiots nor stop their disgusting lies.

Then out of the blue I was messaged by Prole who asked me if I would like to join the page (knowing now what I’ve learnt about selecting admins I feel very humbled), I didn’t take long to agree, the Biffers are the worst of the knuckledraggers, so I was introduced into the murky world of all things Goldibollocks and the guys behind the page.

My world changed. My day now consists of getting the kids up for school and on the way home stopping off at the corner shop for a dose of nicotine, caffiene energy drinks and a quick peruse of the front pages of the fash bibles, the doom and gloom twins aka the Fail and Liexpress. When I get back in, it’s cash up and get the pub ready and check twitter, Facebook and the world media for stories that help debunk the lies peddled everyday in Bifferdom. I stopped buying newspapers and watching the news when I got into fash fighting, I realised that propaganda comes in many guises so I just stopped. To this day I can’t bring myself to visit the Biffer page, as I like most of you are banned I just screamed “LIES” but can do nothing about it. Fortunately others in Team EBF have a tougher resolve, they are evenable to sit through the video’s that Screechy puts out with her voice and the hideous lies that they peddle.

After opening the pub doors, I’m able to answer pm’s to page or your links. Again these are invaluable to us as we always miss something (akin to the landlady always spotting a stray cobweb when I finish cleaning the living quarters) I also have a lovely chat to Reg, a lovely 60 year old Rasta and his wife and Mo the postie about life and the problems they, as darker skinned members of the community, have endured. Then it’s back to work on the page, discussing within the team whether such and such should go up, proof reading memes etc etc and that’s how it goes on all day, discussions, decisions and scheduling.

An accusation that gets thrown at us quite regularly is that we are terrorist appeasers, Muslim apologists, muslims and lefty traitors. The terrorist atrocities carried out over this past year have left the office in a stunned silence many of the team in tears, me a six foot plus barman with a lump in my throat, and an unspoken question of how can we defend this. The answer my friends is we don’t. Like every other right (left) minded person on this planet we can see that these murders are carried out by a miniscule percentage of so called religious zealots who are hell bent on circulating fear. Bomb somewhere and get wall to wall coverage for the next week from a media who have an agenda. Then watch every right wing page do your bidding and spread fear and islamaphobia across social media, in fact Daesh’s social media boss must have the easiest job in propaganda circles. So we don’t defend it, we publish stories that show the other 99.9% of Muslims hate Daesh as much as we do, are affected by the same feelings as we have, but they unlike us are vilified.

Then there are the good times, the Southend Network news piece about the hot cross buns, Kingsmill loaves being Halal, Cadbury’s Easter eggs no longer having Easter on them all of these and others sending the frothing biffers into apoplexy and us into fits of pissing ourselves.

There are also the begging Emails and video’s that make me wet myself at the gullibility of their Sheeple, the Election campaigns, Mosque raids, and so on that we need to counter and we do.

There you have it, a year in EBF, a year in which I have learnt about who TellMama, Hope not hate, KTI,Jim Dowson and Joshua Bonehill are. A year in which Champagne moments are mixed with lukewarm cheap lager days, but never ever boring.

Toodlepip