A view from an uncomfortable barstool by Landlord

Not really in the mood for writing but then again why not? Every other expert, right wing fuckwit and doom merchant has so why not a slightly left wing grumpy old sod giving his and the views of his regulars on the events of Wednesday.

Firstly I think back to 9\11 and the glee on the faces of a few in the middle East as they burnt the Stars and Stripes and then I look at the vitriol from the right wing over the last couple of days and see exactly the same pleasure. The media speculate on everything making out not the gravity of the situation but trying to scare the shit out of us. To me that’s as dangerous than the murderer who carried out the attack.

EBF London attack Theresa MayRead any Facebook or Twitter feed and I see one of three sets of people, firstly those who say told you so Screechy, Goldibollocks, Robinson and others on the far right. Secondly there are those who are genuinely frightened and see the press and the rabid right pushing them to believe the bullshit that they peddle and are ready to let this already right wing government to erode more of our basic rights and finally there’s us.

EBF London attack 2We feel the pain caused, we feel the hurt caused but we can also see where this is going. Trump now feels his Muslim ban is justified, May can get away with more swingeing erosion of our rights and all in the name of safety. The Muslim Council of Great Britain once again feel the need to issue a statement saying it’s not in our name, which is paid lip service by the media and disregarded by the far right, but what can they do anymore than they do now?

So what do we know? Well someone for an unknown reason drove a car along Westminster bridge swerved and killed some tourists, then continued and crashed into a fence by the Houses of Parliament got out, stabbed a policeman and was shot. That’s it, no more no less, the rest is just conjecture and speculation, experts come on and talk endlessly about what the security forces MAY be doing. Reporters report what other reporters are reporting, Tommy Robinson gets on a train to London and tries to run around talking to anyone who’s listening, Screechy and Goldibollocks release video’s in which you can almost hear the sound of kerching in the background. But all we really know is from the police who release carefully worded statements so as not to fuel the hysteria but fail miserably as more and more experts and commentators add bits.

EBF Tommy Robinson London attack

I’m horrified by the events of Wednesday but I and many others stay realistic. This was a murderer doing something that is abhorrent, not in the name of a religion or ideology but because of a warped sense of view. Last year another murderer killed Jo Cox shouting “Britain First” I didn’t see a video of Screechy and Goldibollocks calling for all fascists to be deported and churches to be pulled down, I didn’t see a five minute interview of Paul Nuttall spouting shit, I didn’t see Tommy Robinson prostituting his gob to anyone who may listen, I didn’t see an erosion of our rights but I do now.

EBF London attack 1

I’m not a great lover of the police but I do however think they know what they are doing, I think they know a lot more than they are telling us but they and they alone will let us know over the coming days and weeks and this is the only information I will believe.

Finally all the admins on this page would like to pass on our condolences to the victims of this murderer, people who went out to enjoy the sights of our beautiful city, or was guarding the houses of parliament and will not be going home.

Toodlepip

More false advertising by the Biffers

We had a quick butcher’s at the Biffer Facebook page the other day. That’s their preferred environment for ‘…doin’ politics, innit?’ They still haven’t worked out that false, paid for likes from foreign clickfarms (they click you long time!) aren’t the same as actual votes. But occasionally, just sometimes they crawl out from under their seedy little rock and head off into the real world. A bit like this…

As usual the turnout was tiny but that’s not the important thing. Have a look at the little bald biffer with glasses in the front row. His jacket isn’t quite the same colour as the usual Biffer ‘bottle-out’ green. There’s a reason for that.

Here we see the same sad fash wannabe from the back. His jacket isn’t ‘bottle-out’ green because it’s representing a genuine heroes’ charity. But what’s a ‘Help for Heroes’ jacket doing on a Britain First ‘Day of action’?

We’ve asked Help for heroes. We’ll let you know their reply.

Liberty GB and the Batley & Spen By-election

Jack Buckby is to stand for parliament in the Batley and Spen by-election. This is the now-vacant seat left behind by murdered MP, Jo Cox. Mrs. Cox was allegedly killed by Tommy Mair, a far-right supporter of international neoNazi extremist groups.

Buckby is to stand on behalf of Liberty GB, a new and still small-fry political party headed by Paul Weston, one-time leader of the British Freedom Party. Weston’s not so balanced influence on the policies of his new party are obvious. From paranoid Islamophobia to his condemnation of those he describes as ‘left-liberals’ (whom he describes as ‘evil’), Liberty GB seems set to become just as big a joke as the BFP was.

And yet it’s hard to argue with the decision to field Buckby in Batley & Spen – at least on the terms that Liberty GB present their case. The argument is based partly on precedent (we’ve never before had a compassionate ceding of a by-election by rival political parties) and partly on democratic principles (the people of Batley & Spen deserve representation). Looking at the situation purely without compassion they’re right. And politics has never been a particularly compassionate affair. Jack Buckby has a right to stand, Liberty GB has a right to back him and the people of Batley & Spen have a right to be heard. So far, so good.

So we thought we’d take a look at just what this compassion-free political party actually stands for.

160518 Jack Buckby the Gavin McInnes show.png

First – they’re far-right, ironically not so very far removed from the politics of Tommy Mair himself. Buckby was kicked out of university for his Islamophobic, far-right, nationalist stance and has done nothing to demonstrate any change in his views since then. This interview from May 2016 could almost have been parody, the black and white thinking Buckby displays is so stereotypical of nationalist paranoia and white supremacism.

It’s 13 minutes you’ll never get back but it’s worth watching all the same if you want to understand the calibre of the man who presumes to fill Jo Cox’s shoes. There may not be any place for compassion in politics as Liberty GB contends but that still doesn’t justify the insult to Mrs. Cox’s memory and to the people of Batley & Spen that the candidacy of such a bigoted and small-minded racist represents.

If you do watch the video please bear in mind that Buckby’s whole justification for standing in Batley & Spen is the defence of democracy. This is the man who dismisses those who supported Sadiq Khan as ‘Dumbass voters’ who were merely ‘virtue-signalling’. He wears his anti-democratic sentiment, his racism and his Islamophobia like a badge and still he has the audacity to abuse the memory of Jo Cox. Buckby represents everything that Mrs. Cox and the people who voted for her despised.

Buckby’s anecdote about his ‘Trump hat’ demonstrates his immature and attention-seeking character and therein lies the true motivation for his candidacy.

Realistically, this far right upstart has no chance of being elected in Batley & Spen. But that’s not the point for this small-minded, media-hungry racist and his party. The circumstances that led to this Yorkshire by-election almost guarantee that there will be a huge amount of media attention and Liberty GB are capitalising on the back of tragedy. His hypocritical stance on democracy is clear from this more recent Buckby video, also interviewed by the same right wing chat host. He even tries to implicate Jo Cox in child sexual abuse. This comes shortly before he blames the LGBT community and left-wing politicians for the Orlando massacre. In typical far-right manner he closes this interview with an appeal to the American right to send him money. We almost thought he was a Biffer when we heard that!

Jack Buckby ranting about Nice massacre

Here he blames left wing politicians for the Bastille Day massacre in Nice.

Lack of compassion is one thing.  Victim blaming and smearing the dead for political point-scoring is quite another!

 

Britain First’s High Court chickens coming home to roost

It’s hard to know quite where to begin with this, most recent Britain First scam. We could go on at length about the despicable hi-jacking of the tragedy in Nice to fill Britain First’s coffers but really there’s nothing new there. That, after all is what Britain First does. Like circling vultures, the Biffers jump on every available tragedy and do their best to make it all about them – for a profit, of course.

We could write about the hypocrisy of Britain First in assuming the Nice killer was motivated by ISIS whilst denying any relationship whatsoever between them and Jo Cox’s murderer, Tommy Mair. This in spite of the fact that the driver in NICE seems to have had no links to Daesh or even to any practicing Muslims.

https://www.facebook.com/ajplusenglish/videos/762229527251890/?hc_location=ufi

We could write about the judiciary’s attitude to Britain First in general and the way that their apparent Teflon-coating seems finally to be wearing thin.

But we’re not going to do that (well only a bit). Instead we’re going to write about funding. This is the begging video that Britain First released following the Nice attack.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2BlblCXUOtM

As you can see it begins with Golding discussing the events in France before quickly shifting to his own begging bowl. Claiming a ‘new’ outrage from Luton and Bedfordshire police he appeals for £15,000 to fight a ‘new’ injunction against Britain First. There’s only one problem – it isn’t ‘new’ at all.

On June 26th 2015 an interim injunction was granted by the High Court in respect of this exact appeal from the police in Luton. That’s the interim injunction curtailing Britain First’s activities in Luton at the hearing that Paul and Jayda continue to pretend to have ‘won’. It’s a strange definition of ‘victory’ that produces such a far-reaching injunction as this.

BF High Court injunction 1

BF high court injunction 2

BF high court injunction 3

The fact is that Britain First have already raised funds to fight this particular case. And they’ve announced that they reached their target at least once (despite the sum’s omission from their published accounts). So why all the fuss now?

Partly they’re begging for more cash because that’s what they do. And partly they’re begging for cash because this may be one of their last opportunities to do so. Britain First has ignored most of the terms of this injunction since it was granted. The only clauses they seem to have stuck to are not entering Mosque property uninvited and not bringing crosses or their childish ‘No more mosques’ banner to Luton last June. They’ve completely disregarded the other two conditions (underlined below in red) and on August 15th their behaviour over the last year will be reviewed in the High Court. We suspect it won’t go well for the despicable duo!

BF High court injunction 2 detail 1

This interim injunction was granted pending a full hearing ‘at a later date’. Now, a little over a year later that full hearing is fast approaching. It will be held at the High Court on August 15th 2016. As you can see the case reference number in both documents is the same(HQ15X02820). It’s the same case.

EBF BF injunction then and now July 2016 June 2015

To put it another way, Jayda and the Fuhrer have spent the last year demonstrating increasing bravado. They’ve flouted the law of the land with growing (but misguided) confidence, presumably because as time passed they became more and more convinced that the case had just ‘gone away’. And Jayda’s supposed to understand English law!

Now the chickens are coming home to roost and the realisation of the risk they face has begun to sink in. This ‘later date’ hearing really might be the end of Britain First. It might be the end of Paul and Jayda’s personal liberty too (here’s hoping).

Not long now!

Hissed off! by Snake

EBF snake cropped.pngEBF Admin, ‘Snake’ tells us why he’s so hissed off with the Biffers he’s been talking to both on line and off. Snake is a regular contributor to the EBF Facebook and Twitter platforms but this is his first piece for the blog. I hope it wont be his last. (Marcia)

So as usual I’ve been doing my thing arguing with Biffers in various forums and one thing that has struck me is that for all their talk of equality and gay rights etc. it is very much a club for straight, white males. The KTI set up is certainly designed to attract males and a lot of the “call to arms” posts are designed to play on traditionally masculine themes (won’t you fight for your children, impending civil war and so forth). You also see a lot of jibes levelled at ‘lefties’ that are designed to emasculate and belittle us.

The carrying of various weapons (sticks, hard knuckle gloves etc) suggests an innate lack of confidence in their own abilities, as do the fight clubs. The fight clubs and bully boy routines are what interest me the most as these and the ex army land rovers suggest that they feel emasculated themselves, that they are constantly looking to assert their masculinity by victimising and bullying minorities but end up pushing it almost into parody.

EBF BF Violence Lomax armedThe type of person we see BF attract are normally underachievers, normally unimpressive either physically, academically or both. Their persecuting of a minority makes them feel empowered, Paul himself fancies himself as an alpha male, but falls woefully short of the mark. This sense of seeking masculinity is not unique to Biffers. Many people take up boxing, mma and others in an attempt to test their mettle. I myself have embarked on a variety of traditional ‘manly’ activities.

The big thing here is how BF are utilising this sense of emasculation and search to regain one’s manhood to radicalise their members. One suspects Daesh do exactly the same. It’s easy to do when there is high unemployment. A lot of young men who can’t work for whatever reason take anything they can to feel they’ve regained their manliness and BF offer a very easy solution. Their demos and ‘days of action’ provide an easy out for the lazy and feckless. They don’t require endless hours down the gym or years mastering a skill, all you have to do is turn up, hand out some leaflets, shout a bit and Bob’s your uncle, you’ve done your bit for Paulie’s war effort and made yourself feel more like a man. Except it doesn’t. Because everybody can see you for the lazy, feckless bully you are, so you have to do more.

And so the radicalisation process continues.

Snake

 

A view from a barstool 27 by Landlord

Beer 2They say a week is a long time in a Landlord’s life (or is it politics I get confused). The end of the footie season brings it’s challenges as the men are dragged round a DIY shop or have to mow the lawn and the laydees decide that outside eating should be the order of the night instead of a nice beer garden. I’ve also cut down two trees, with an axe no less, without ending up in A&E. I called them Screechy and Goldibollocks and thoroughly enjoyed the stress relief that smacking the bejeezus out of them gave.

It’s been a bit of a bad week for them on the reporting front. The photoshopped picture of Owen Jones about why he will vote for Europe was widely ridiculed on twitter and on Facebook. Their bible passages get more and more obscure and the new ISIS hunter clothing looks more photoshopped each time you look at it. The only thing they could hunt is a Pint and a kebab on a Friday night (not at my pub I may add).

On to the more sinister..

Immediately an event occurs Screechy, Goldibollocks and their high command publish the story and make sure it’s heavily intimated as a terror attack. Firstly a “massive” explosion outside the ITV studio’s lapped up by the biffers disciples as a terror attack. When it turned out to be a controlled explosion on a car whose owner decided parking restrictions weren’t for him, did they report this? Did they buggery. They let their devoted sheep continue thinking it was a terror attack.

Someone broke into Buck Palace. Terrorism according to their page and once again this was lapped up. When it then turned out to be a mental patient who was let out early with a decidedly English name, did they report this? Nope – the damage had been done and the Muslims had been blamed.

On to the stabbings in Hampton. Again heavily biased islamophobic overtones. Once again they jump on the bandwagon, once again, after the truth came out that it was a mentally disturbed man with no Islamic background, did they retract, did their sheeple suddenly change their minds?Nope again. They let their islamophobic followers fire off comment after comment that civil war is coming.

Finally the Egyptair crash which Nemesis wrote so eloquently about on Thursday. No official indications of whether this was a tragic accident or a terror attack. Experts from all over were called by the media to speculate, pontificate and send out reports of what other media was reporting. It was a terror attack said Egyptair before the blackbox was even found (usually this is done for insurance reasons). Now it transpires it’s gone from 100% terror attack to a 20% possibility. I may wait for the official verdict rather than scream Islamic Terror attack. I think I speak on behalf of EBF when I say our thoughts and prayers (for those of us who do) are with the victims’ families. But if it comes out that it is a tragic accident then will we see a retraction from the biffers? I won’t hold my breath.

Finally, some mirth, Election fever is over, there were embarrassed faces all round in the Fuhrer bunker and probably a meeting of the high command that goes something like this.

“How can we fleece more money out of the idiot followers?”

The answer falls right into their laps… the EU referendum. and another begging Email, this time for £21000 to get us out of Europe. The Email, on the page, tells more lies than truths and they think that their 1.4 million followers on the page will vote to leave. Trouble is only about 500000 of their followers are eligible to vote, but this won’t stop them. £21k for something the leave campaign have already spent millions on. There is a whiff of male bovine excretia. Now I’m not overly political nor do I know much about the inner workings of the European Union. Here at EBF we have a broad spectrum of political beliefs and would never try to overly politicise the page (although others may have in the past). all I would say on the matter is that the Leave campaign need to convince me I will be better off out of Europe not the other way round. However Brexit may suffer as I certainly won’t want to be tied to a campaign that the biffers now are openly campaigning for.

So that’s it for the week, now to find a BBQ to gatecrash, and more trees to chop down (Lomax, Lewis and Blunn are the names of the next 3).

Cheers,

Landlord

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evan Davies and Britain First’s ‘random selfie’

This afternoon Paulie and Screechie were in London causing trouble outside the East London Mosque (yawn). At some point during the day they came across Evan Davies, well-known TV presenter and journalist. Never far from a camera and always quick to spot the chance to tell a fib they approached him for a selfie. Being a fairly approachable bloke Mr. Davies obliged. We bet he didn’t know what the deceitful duo would do with the image they took away though.

EBF BF Evan Davies random selfie photo opportunity London 2016.png

Without a thought for the damage they might do to Mr. Davies’ career it wasn’t long before Der Fuhrer and his deputy posted the picture on Facebook and their website claiming that Mr. Davies was a Biffer himself who had even been campaigning in the capital on their behalf. Of course Mr. Davies soon put the record straight but the damage had been done. Not to him though.

Continued use of these deceitful tactics does far more harm to Britain First than it ever could to Evan Davies (fortunately).

Here’s a phrase you might want to keep in Mind, Paulie…

Truth will out!

View from a barstool in the cellar

Beer 2The landlady and the kids are with the in-laws and I’m left here drinking the profits and suffering from a dose of fash fatigue. Being an admin on Exposing Britain First and the constant cases of islamophobic bullshit from the Fuhrer bunker does get us down. The bombs in Belgium are hard to stomach with wall to wall media coverage, security experts telling us what is happening even though it’s just conjecture and the arses in Bifferland lapping it up and providing the propaganda they need to play on the fears of already scared people. The right wing newspapers and our wonderful TV news stations helping them with their recruitment.

But where was the right wing and media angst as bombs were set off in Iraq, in Turkey and other places in Africa and the world. Did you even hear of these as I certainly didn’t, I didn’t see an outpouring of grief on Facebook, didn’t see people changing their profiles to a Turkish flag or an Iraqi one or any other to be honest. The right have even gone as far as to put the disgusting murders in Belgium as a reason for Brexit. Just like the Muslims we have had to put out the same old tired statement of us abhorring the bombings and saying that Daesh are a bunch of murderous bastards whom we are against. My brother works and lives in Brussels, and his workplace is near enough opposite to the station that was bombed. The overwhelming mantra coming from his fellow staff, from many different European nations, is that this was not a Muslim attack but a Daesh one.

BF Pieman Steve Lewis arrestedWith that out of the way (but not forgotten) back to the Fuhrer and his high command. Steve Lewis arrested and bailed for wearing a political uniform had us in stitches. Poor old Pieman, losing a banner last year, being moved down the pecking order in the shittrooper numbers, having to do the seemingly dodgy accounts on a 60’s typewriter and leader of the South East Brigade and now nicked. Steve is one of the more articulate Biffers but even he has slowly been indoctrinated into Bifferdom and writes more and more religious claptrap. We know he reads the page so Steve, hope you enjoyed the 16 hours in the cells. We hope you will be trusted enough to hold the banners again.

What else? Oh yeah, the mayoral election, begging letters, and some religious memes for the sheeple to eat up.

Goldibollocks is on the march going round trying to find 10 idiots in each borough of London to back him, even tweeting because Enfield Council had the audacity of making him hold on the phone, assumingly to get hold of the voters roll. Three of my friends who live in the London Mayoral area have asked that the Biffers do not get their names and addresses as they do not wish to have racist literature through their doors and also they feel that the Fuhrer bunker will use this for more sinister means. I’ll give an update shortly on how they got on.

So it appears that Goldibollocks and Screechy made their target to stand in the elections. They still accuse the Labour candidate of being an extremist Muslim and that London is no longer British. The great thing about this is that London is such a diverse, multi-cultural, thriving capital that will consign them to where my mates will put their propaganda, in the bin.

BF Sadiq Khan.png

If you read the Biffer page, I realise that this is hard for you, you will have seen the furore and foam-fest of the sheeple over the apparent removal of the word ‘Easter’ on Cadbury’s Easter oval things. Apparently this was to appease Muslims who quite frankly couldn’t give a toss about it. They have more important things to worry about (islamaphobia, being chucked off planes, securing mosques from right wing fucknuggets). The Daily Star had a front page spread about it and the Biffers were not amused. However a quick phonecall to Cadbury’s and a totally harassed customer services lady told me that this was the biggest load of crap she had ever seen. They may have taken off the word Easter from the front of the packaging but the word appears 4 times in various places.

Easter eggs Cadbury 2016.png

Coming so soon after the hot cross buns and Kingsmill saga’s it seems that once again Bifferland is foaming over a headline and not the story.

So that’s the week in a nutshell, just an ordinary week in the world of EBF, from bombs to Easter eggs, you couldn’t make it up… Could you?

Cheers

Inside the mind of a Biffer

A regular topic in the EBF office is motivation. What drives the Biffers to be so hateful? How can otherwise ordinary people embrace such malice and wish so much harm on their fellow humans?

Over the last few days I’ve made it my mission to try to answer this question, not for every Biffer but at least for some. It isn’t always easy to trawl through the comments on the Britain First Facebook page but it seemed to be a reasonable place to find the answer to my question. What did the Biffers themselves say about their concerns and how do these comments fit together to produce the hatred and cruelty they advocate?

Taking a methodical, step by step perspective was quite revealing and whilst not all that surprising did provide some insight into the way that Britain First manipulates ordinary people, just as their German forerunners did almost a century earlier.

‘Our’ people

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 4.png

The first thing Britain First does is create a sense of identity. Biffers need to be brought to identify with the group of ‘our people’. So Britain First regularly produces memes on social media to help them develop this sense of identity. The Biffer ‘in group’ is made up of white Brits, ex-pats and Christians. Out-groups include Muslims (of course), non-whites and immigrants (unless they come from America or Australia).

Colour

The idea of ‘white flight’ and ‘white genocide’ is a recurring theme in the identification process.

white pride black pride BF EBF

Regular appeals to increase white birth rate serve not so much to actually encourage more births but to imbue the Biffers with a sense that ‘their’ race is in peril, international statistics on normalisation of immigrant birth rates notwithstanding.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF

Religion

The Biffers don’t act like Christians (except perhaps for the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church) but they repeatedly claim to be Christians. They appeal to the dispossessed and the downtrodden in the same way that early Christians did in Judea and beyond. By hijacking established tenets of traditional Christianity they can present a seemingly familiar front for their decidedly unfamiliar neo-nazism.

The comments from their supporters show just how effective this tactic is as people use a religion that speaks of peace to justify the hatred of fascism, apparently without the slightest sense of irony.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 9.png

Nationality

Nationalism is their biggest theme, of course. This is the mainstay of Britain First’s raison d’etre as they work toward an all-British, all-white and decidedly Aryan Britain. So the group identity of Britishness is pushed hard. And the sheeple respond.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 11.png

Perceived threat

It’s not enough to establish group identity though. That doesn’t engender hatred. For really fervent malice it’s necessary to pretend that the group is under attack, preferably from those too weak to defend themselves. Groups like minority religious populations or desperate refugees.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 5

Exaggerated horror to come

The technique is simple. Identify with the in group. Breed fear of the out group and then play on the peoples’ newly installed fears.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 12

Hatred

Then sit back and watch the hatred develop. It doesn’t have to be rational – it just has to be visceral.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 14

Hostility

Once that groundwork has been completed it’s a short step to turn fear and hatred into open hostility and the volunteers to fund or create violence come forward of their own accord.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 13.png

Malice

Keep fuelling the fire with perceived obstructions to ‘our’ way of life or evidence of ‘alien’ activities to underscore the problem ‘our group’ faces and let the people whip themselves up into their own frenzy of malice.

160319 BF white genocide propaganda FB meme comments EBF 10.png

And watch the hatred you planted all those memes ago grow and bear fruit.

EBF BF ISIS Crucifixion genocide.png

BF EBF Holocaust comments.png

 

Don’t believe everything you read

A few weeks ago we reported on a running gun battle that had taken place in Chesterfield, home of the Biffer Walts’ Divisional Commander, Robin Lomax. It obviously covered a huge amount of ground as the same battle, involving the same people also happened at exactly the same time in Wakefield, Bradford, Basingstoke, Launceston, Wolverhampton and even Memphis, Tennessee! As we remarked at the time…

“ISIS don’t ‘alf get about, don’t they?”

And this morning we hear of yet another amazing feat of terror and counter-terror teleportation through time and space. The same extremists and law enforcement agencies find themselves re-enacting their violent engagement in at least three different venues that are once again, quite literally an ocean apart. This time they’ve been to Croydon, Wichita and Orlando. And all in the name of ‘charity’ apparently.

EBF You couldn't make it up.png

We’d dearly love to know where any money the ‘News portal’ website might make actually goes. If you have any information on the subject please let us know. There are rules governing collecting for charity, including proper registration with governing bodies both here and in the USA (where the site appears to be based) and a quick word in the appropriate ear might not go amiss.

All that aside though, we’re told that nothing more interesting happened in Croydon last Monday than the moment when little Jimmy Armstrong dropped his fishcake and chips in a puddle on the High Street. But his Gran bought him some more so all’s well that ends well.

Don’t believe everything you read!