A view from a barstool #33 by Landlord

Beer 2I sit here basking in the late summer sunshine, beer in hand, kids running about (now finally back at school). I’m wondering what the fuck brexit means, whether my life would’ve been better had I been to grammar school and I’m watching the paralympics on TV, marvelling at how these athletes overcame disabilities to perform at the highest level with more patrotism than the combined darkside of the far right fucknuggets.

And that brings us on to all things Biffer. An upcoming trip to Wales, begging letters that appear to show desperation, videos that probably were filmed on Betamax they’re so old and finally a sighting of the lesser known Screechy.

The next stage of the Biffer roadtrip moves into Wales, probably countered by Antifa, which we here at EBF Towers call musical chairs. We have to say that Moley doesn’t think many will turn up apart from the usual hierachy, so called ‘security’ and a few knuckledragging racists. I did wonder if, instead of building a wall in Calais, we shouldn’t build one round Wales to stop Goldibollocks and the high command coming back. Then I remembered that I love Wales, having holidayed on the Pembrokeshire coast during my formative years and have quite a few mates living there. It will be another jingoistic display, probably begging for money and full of anti Muslim and lefty rhetoric.

To the begging letters, which according to Der Fuhrer will stop for a bit (probably as they’ve paid for his trip to the all white enclave Uncle Jim and Nick Griffin have set up in Hungary) have become almost hilarious, definitely desperate and possibly fraudulant. Now “donations” are being paid into their “Merchandising” account as their normal account has been frozen by their provider, probably because the provider has worked out that they are racist spunktrumpets which goes against their terms and conditions. So once the company returns the 7.5k, the muppets have got 15 faaasaaaand paaands in their account. However, Team EBF reckon HMRC might be interested in it. Whatever it is it stinks worse than Stevie Lewis on a hot day with no deodorant.

The videos are even worse. The high command seem to have ramped up the islamaphobic sentiment on their page. They seemingly trawl through Youtube finding any slightly brown people gathered in a town causing fights and Jim’s your Uncle – Muslims riot, Muslims beat someone up, Muslims this or Muslims that. The trouble is these are videos from years ago, some not in this country and most don’t even show Muslims. On one of their feeder pages they even decided to publish a video of a Christian hate preacher being drowned out by bagpipes and dressed it up as a Muslim hate preacher being drowned out. Even when some of our page readers told them what the original was about their sheeple and disciples had already decided their version of the truth.

Now I haven’t really missed her but she’s finally surfaced. The lesser spotted Dutchy ‘screechy’ Fransen finally was spotted in Birmingham. On one of their increasingly inflammatory days out, countered by antifa, Screechy was seen chatting to the Police. We think, well I do, that she was probably checking that she hadn’t broken any bail conditions. Talking of bail conditions did Goldibollocks break his when they invaded a Mosque in Cardiff? BBC say that the Mosque have complained about the invasion so watch this space.

So thats it then, the week in Bifferdom… lies, possible fraud and another roadtrip. Hopefully another week closer to their closure. Disgusting as they are I still laugh at the majority of their antics. Time now for another pint, a quick tab and get the new pool team to take the game seriously.


Fransen facing further (outrageous) charges

This evening Britain First published one of its most entertaining videos yet. This is the one where Jayda Fransen demonstrates her total misunderstanding of the British legal system to the point of pure farce. It’s almost as though she doesn’t actually have any legal training at all!

BF Jayda Fransen charged August 2016 video

The video is in response to Fransen’s recent communication from Luton and Bedfordshire Constabulary. The message, delivered via her solicitor is a legal bundle in which she is charged with three offences and summoned to court this Friday, August 5th 2016.

Predictably Fransen claims that the very idea of charging her with any crimes at all is outrageous evidence of a conspiracy against her. She never once acknowledges that the police might just have a point in prosecuting those who break the law. Nor does she express even the slightest relief at the fact that there are only 3 charges. We can think of an awful lot more events that both Fransen and Fuhrer Golding could legitimately be charged for. However, these are the three charges (according to Fransen’s video) …

Breaching bail conditions

The logic here is ludicrous. Using her remarkably astute knowledge of law Jayda claims that because of an error that was acknowledged in court she decided that she wasn’t due to answer bail after the end of March. She neglected to consider the simple fact that legal judgements aren’t bound by discussions in court but by the final pronouncement from the bench. The magistrates occupying that bench said that her bail conditions would continue to apply.

Fransen later stated…

“I didn’t consider myself bound by the police bail”

As if it’s up to her her to decide whether she’s on bail or not! That’s ot how criminal law works, Jayda!

She did not state that the court had released her from the bail conditions. In fact she clearly reports in the video that the court upheld the bail conditions.

“The magistrates allowed them to keep the conditions in place.”

This much was obvious. She then released a video on April 1st (that seems strangely appropriate) in which she tore up her bail conditions and announced that neither she nor Paul would be answering bail any more. Unfortunately for her, the Fuhrer did continue to answer his bail which is why Fraulein Fransen will face the beak alone on Friday. It seems the Fuhrer “played a blinder” against her this time.

Political uniform

Apart from mentioning the uniform alongside a still of some perfectly innocent, green party political activists wearing sweatshirts (minus the rank insignia and regimental or divisional demarcation that Britain First use), Jayda didn’t argue about this one. That’s because her glorious leader has already admitted in court that Britain First do, indeed wear political uniform. He pleaded guilty in court to just that offence last Friday and was duly convicted and fined as a result. That set a precedent which means that Fransen hasn’t a leg to stand on contesting this particular charge. Paulie’s ‘played another blinder’ against her. Never mind Jayda – that’s what you get for trying to usurp the Fuhrer!

Religiously motivated harassment

The heavily edited video accompanying Fransen’s mock outrage over this charge is just typical Britain First fayre. As expected the ‘case’ for her defence, played out in glorious technicolor to persuade her supporters (as though they actually get to have a say) consists of the usual montage of clips pieced together deliberately to show exactly what Britain First want us to see. Hopefully the police will have rather more complete and significantly less biased evidence with which to convict her.

Fighting fund

Best of all, as ever, she begs for money to fight her case. She mentions Paul’s recent legal fighting fund as though its presence means that her loyal sheeple should cough up a second time for her case. What she doesn’t mention is the fact that Paul pleaded guilty and so never had to use his fighting fund. So far as we can tell there has been no attempt to refund the money raised so presumably Jayda could use that. Unless of course Paul’s already spent it on accommodation in readiness for Jayda kicking him out of Beeches Close.

Let’s face it – he must be on dodgy ground now after he’s played so many ‘blinders’ against her.



Yes – it was an April Fool’s day joke

A few people seem to have believed yesterday’s blog post about Tosspot Tommy  and Slattery Mandy taking over from Grasser Golding and Dutchy.

EBF Slattery cat and Tosspot Tommy blog imageGratified though we are that our little prank worked we think we should come clean now and make sure that nobody gets the wrong impression long-term.

It was an April Fool’s day joke. There’s no way that this collection of back-stabbing, paranoid, hate-filled fascists could ever form a coherent whole. They’re just too used to treating each other with mutual suspicion and contempt.

That’s a relief, isn’t it?

Slattery Cat and Tosspot Tommy – a far right coup

We all thought that Amanda Slatter had got fed up of Britain First’s failure to achieve anything beyond filling Paul and Jayda’s pockets when she gave up her position as Regional Commanding Officer and defected to Pegida. Like so many turncoat fash before her we thought she’d simply got tired of waiting to receive her share of the profits and headed off to pastures new, leaving her former comrades to stew in their own juices. Ex EDL ‘Angel’ and long-term buddy of Tommy Robinson she looked for all the world like any other fickle fascist out to make a fast profit at the expense of – well, everyone really.

amanda slatter tommy robinson 2016.png

How wrong we were.

It seems that unbeknown to her former rival, Jayda Fransen and even her erstwhile lover, Pieman Lewis Slattery cat was actually working for Uncle Jim Dowson and his cabal of venture capitalist all along. She was the messenger, the go-between who smoothed the waters for Tommy Robinson’s second great defection (the first being in favour of Islamic anti-terror organisation, Quilliam).

It’s no secret that Uncle Jim’s money men have become increasingly frustrated at Fuhrer Golding’s ineptitude. Falling numbers and increasingly meagre donations have made Britain First’s American and Eastern European investors more and more nervous about their chances of receiving any sort of return on their investment. These guys have invested a lot of cash in Britain First and they expect big money in return. Watching Golding squander their original stake has pissed them off to put it mildly.

BBC3 BF EBF WWOCB demo attendance comment

That’s the reason why Fransen was being groomed to take over this summer. She was all set to be the next Fuhrer right up until the time she pinned her colours to Paul’s metaphorical mast and got herself in just as much hot water as Grasser himself. It would have been so easy for her to take over the leadership (and the London candidacy) if only she’d left Paul to face the music with the police and answer bail for political uniform without her. We’re told that was the advice she was repeatedly given and which, after her brief post-Burton wobble, she repeatedly ignored.

BF Burton 120 max

After the dismal failure to attract more than 117 Biffers in Burton (including the party faithful and paid employees) Slattery cat was despatched to negotiate with Turncoat Tommy. The erstwhile EDL leader, for all his obvious faults looks like a far more likely investment than either Dutchy or Grasser. He still retains his sizeable support from the Imbibing brotherhood and could rally many more ‘troops’ to the Biffer cause than they currently command.

EDL Imbibing brotherhood brethren Bibo ergo sum in vino veritas

Let’s not forget that Tommy stewarded the EDL to its heyday when 5,000 racists regularly took to the streets in violent demonstrations in answer to his call. He was a much better merchandiser and the profits he made during those days far outweighed anything the Biffers can even dream of.

So we’re told the deal is done. Folding and Dutchy will take what’s coming to them as the full weight of law crashes down upon their heads. Dowson’s purse is now firmly closed to them. No expensive lawyers will be pleading their case this time. And with their defeat in the courts, all claim to their leadership of BF will also crumble around them. They might even go to prison this time – so much the better for the Biffers.

BF Bail Golding Fransen

There’s a new leadership team in waiting. Tommy and Mandy are ready to take over just as soon as Der Fuhrer and Dutchy are removed. The deal is done, the retainer has been paid and Tommy knows better than to take money from these particular investors without fulfilling his part of the bargain.

Remember this day (April Fools Day) – you heard it here first!