View from a barstool #44 by Landlord

Beer 2As 2017 comes in and we can at least bid a non-fond farewell to 2016 I was wondering just what this new year had in store for a grumpy, lefty, Muslim apologist landlord. I’ve had a look back at the year just gone, one in which it seems you can bomb the fuck out of somewhere, killing children, and a year that seems to justify fascism.

In Syria bombs continue to rain down on Aleppo, killing indiscriminately. Now I have an admission to make… I’m not particularly up on who’s doing what, where over there. I just can’t stand the fact that a whole bunch of innocent people are being killed by the west, Russia, their own government, Daesh and lack of food. The Biffer trolls’ favourite saying is “they should stay and fight” but fight whom, with what? Should they shoot the odd (not so) smart bomb with catapults?

Brexit has seemed to galvanise the right into thinking bigotry and abuse of anyone slightly off white is acceptable. Twitter and Facebook is awash with so-called celebrities writing statements that over a year ago would have seen them hauled over the coals. It seems that it’s ok to go up to foreign looking chappies and chappesses and tell them to “Fuck off home” even though their home is here. It seems ok to invade places of worship because their god is different to yours. It seems ok to racially abuse people in the street, all because a non-binding referendum seemed to say we hate foreigners.

Brexit send them back T shirt   Walsall halal butcher arson petrol bomb brexit

Well Katie Fucking Hopkins you failed at business, you failed at being a celebrity and you will fail at your pathetic attempts to shock. You see we laugh at you. I don’t care how you voted, as long as the reason wasn’t racial.

2016 also saw the deaths of many celebrities. Now call me a grumpy cuntspangle but I don’t see anyone as better than us, my television is limited to Sky Sports and peppa pig. I’m also someone who as a bar manager at Thorpe Park barred Katy Jordan (or something) as I really didn’t “know who I am” when she screamed at me. However during my formative years I did listen to a lot of Status Quo, a bit of Bowie, read a lot of Richard Adams and loved Star Wars so I am sorry they lost their lives. I also say RIP to all those who lost their lives in senseless wars, so called terrorist attacks or anything else.

The Americans have also managed to get the rest of the world united in a collective facepalm as they voted in a racist buffoon who is both financially and morally bankrupt. Us ‘lefteyes’ better run for cover… fuckwit is coming to town.

And now my favourite part of 2016, the beginning of the end of Bifferdom. They crave publicity and money. They want to be a “legitimate” political party who make all others quake in their boots. They want to outlaw a religion, not as they tell it but because it makes them money. What sort of year have they had? Well it’s been brilliant.

bf-paul-golding-prison-1

They’ve got a new camera, Screechy appears to have increased by a cupsize or two, Goldibollocks and Stevie’s waistline seems to have expanded. The two leaders have criminal records, Goldibollocks being interned at her majesty’s pleasure for ignoring a High court injunction and Screechy for bullying a young Muslim lady. They failed to make any inroads in politics. Screechy, Goldibollocks and his mum/family failed even to make a blip on the BBC’S colour chart in the mayoral election. Their conferences and road shows were supported by the same 20 followers, despite having twelvty million likes on Facebook. So the Biffers were a failure too.

As I look now to 2017 what can I expect. Well probably more of the same. Although teetering on the edge of annihilation whilst there is still money to con, the Biffer High command will continue to talk bollocks and fail in almost everything they do. Hopkins will continue to talk shit and no one will listen. Trump will bankrupt the US and the West will continue senseless bombing of countries that might have oil, or pipelines owned in part by media moguls.

170101-nye-london-celebration

But there is something I saw over the recent festivities, a coming together of all faiths (and none) sticking the proverbial two fingers up at Trump, Fartage, Daesh, Bifferdom, Hopkins et al. The left, centre and centre right all beginning, to use a movie quote to “be excellent to each other”. You see we, the normal non-bigoted people are fed up of all this cuntwaffle from the Nazi far right and have had just as much as we can take.

So I’m not giving up smoking, drinking or meat. My resolution is to be excellent to all. Apart from Biffers they can fuck off.

Toodlepip

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Politicians who don’t understand politics

According to The Guardian, Donald trump has messed up in the American ‘primaries’ because he doesn’t understand the electoral system – and apparently nobody could be bothered to tell him. He’s managed to get a lot of people to like him on social media and he’s had a lot turning up to rallies but when it can to the crunch he didn’t tell them to vote for the representatives who would vote for him in the next stage.

Donald trump unhappy

Of course his reaction is predictable. He blames a corrupt electoral system when really the problem is his own stupidity. He doesn’t understand the system and is too arrogant to ask.

We know someone else like that. Well, apart from the lots of people turning up to rallies part!

EBF BF Golding Biffers London mayor election 2016 montage

 

Meet Christine

BF Christine Smith London Assembly candidate at Luton demo with Jayda Fransen.pngWe thought long and hard about this post. After all, we don’t do ‘doxing’ – that’s a favourite Britain First pastime. They think nothing of publishing people’s details online in the hope that some sad fascist will go and break a few heads for them. That’s not our style.

But we thought that a registered political candidate for a registered political party standing in an important election might be different. We looked around for official election materials to use but couldn’t find anything for Christine. So we resorted to her Facebook page instead. Her address and contact details (other than Facebook which is closed down tightly enough) aren’t published here though. We thought we should keep that information to ourselves.

So why are we picking on this particular Britain First candidate? You might well ask. She looks like a sweet old lady, and for all we know she might be just that. Mind you – sweet old ladies tend not to be evicted from their homes because of antisocial behaviour but that’s a different story.

We’re bringing Christine to your attention because she’s fantastic evidence of political ineptitude and nepotism within the ranks of Britain First, the UK’s most laughable neo-nazi party.

Christine has no political experience so far as we can tell. She’s never held political office of any kind as far as we know (not even a parish council) and has never so much as made a speech. She’s obviously made an impression on Britain First’s leader, Paul Golding though. Maybe that’s because she’s his Mummy!

EBF BF Christine Smith London Assembly Paul Goldings mummy.png

Yes, that’s right! Britain First is so poorly supported that they have to resort to making Golding’s ageing mother a candidate for May’s London Assembly elections.

We bet Dowson’s financiers will love that! Five grand deposit for Golding’s old lady to make fools out of them and all the other misguided Biffers who were stupid enough to cough up cash for the cause.

As Britain First is so fond of saying…

You couldn’t make it up!

View from a barstool in the cellar

Beer 2The landlady and the kids are with the in-laws and I’m left here drinking the profits and suffering from a dose of fash fatigue. Being an admin on Exposing Britain First and the constant cases of islamophobic bullshit from the Fuhrer bunker does get us down. The bombs in Belgium are hard to stomach with wall to wall media coverage, security experts telling us what is happening even though it’s just conjecture and the arses in Bifferland lapping it up and providing the propaganda they need to play on the fears of already scared people. The right wing newspapers and our wonderful TV news stations helping them with their recruitment.

But where was the right wing and media angst as bombs were set off in Iraq, in Turkey and other places in Africa and the world. Did you even hear of these as I certainly didn’t, I didn’t see an outpouring of grief on Facebook, didn’t see people changing their profiles to a Turkish flag or an Iraqi one or any other to be honest. The right have even gone as far as to put the disgusting murders in Belgium as a reason for Brexit. Just like the Muslims we have had to put out the same old tired statement of us abhorring the bombings and saying that Daesh are a bunch of murderous bastards whom we are against. My brother works and lives in Brussels, and his workplace is near enough opposite to the station that was bombed. The overwhelming mantra coming from his fellow staff, from many different European nations, is that this was not a Muslim attack but a Daesh one.

BF Pieman Steve Lewis arrestedWith that out of the way (but not forgotten) back to the Fuhrer and his high command. Steve Lewis arrested and bailed for wearing a political uniform had us in stitches. Poor old Pieman, losing a banner last year, being moved down the pecking order in the shittrooper numbers, having to do the seemingly dodgy accounts on a 60’s typewriter and leader of the South East Brigade and now nicked. Steve is one of the more articulate Biffers but even he has slowly been indoctrinated into Bifferdom and writes more and more religious claptrap. We know he reads the page so Steve, hope you enjoyed the 16 hours in the cells. We hope you will be trusted enough to hold the banners again.

What else? Oh yeah, the mayoral election, begging letters, and some religious memes for the sheeple to eat up.

Goldibollocks is on the march going round trying to find 10 idiots in each borough of London to back him, even tweeting because Enfield Council had the audacity of making him hold on the phone, assumingly to get hold of the voters roll. Three of my friends who live in the London Mayoral area have asked that the Biffers do not get their names and addresses as they do not wish to have racist literature through their doors and also they feel that the Fuhrer bunker will use this for more sinister means. I’ll give an update shortly on how they got on.

So it appears that Goldibollocks and Screechy made their target to stand in the elections. They still accuse the Labour candidate of being an extremist Muslim and that London is no longer British. The great thing about this is that London is such a diverse, multi-cultural, thriving capital that will consign them to where my mates will put their propaganda, in the bin.

BF Sadiq Khan.png

If you read the Biffer page, I realise that this is hard for you, you will have seen the furore and foam-fest of the sheeple over the apparent removal of the word ‘Easter’ on Cadbury’s Easter oval things. Apparently this was to appease Muslims who quite frankly couldn’t give a toss about it. They have more important things to worry about (islamaphobia, being chucked off planes, securing mosques from right wing fucknuggets). The Daily Star had a front page spread about it and the Biffers were not amused. However a quick phonecall to Cadbury’s and a totally harassed customer services lady told me that this was the biggest load of crap she had ever seen. They may have taken off the word Easter from the front of the packaging but the word appears 4 times in various places.

Easter eggs Cadbury 2016.png

Coming so soon after the hot cross buns and Kingsmill saga’s it seems that once again Bifferland is foaming over a headline and not the story.

So that’s the week in a nutshell, just an ordinary week in the world of EBF, from bombs to Easter eggs, you couldn’t make it up… Could you?

Cheers

Interpreting Britain First’s neo-nazi policies

Last month we critiqued Britain First’s policies. We showed how the Biffers’ Deputy Leader, Jayda “Dutchy” Fransen drew her inspiration from Nazi propagandist Julius Streicher. We went further and compared all the Biffers’ policies to their wartime German counterparts. We highlighted their remarkable similarity to the policies of Nazi Germany. We looked behind the polite, politically correct words (how ironic) and made a few predictions about what they really meant.

Last weekend the Biffers gave us the greatest gift they ever could. No more will we need to speculate about their Nazism. They’ve finally come clean and proven our original point for all the world to see. Fuhrer Golding’s hilarious announcement that he intends to run for election as London’s Mayor is nothing short of a complete admission of neo-nazi Biffer cockwomblery. They’re pretending no more. Britain First is now an OPENLY Nazi organisation.

Some of the Facebook comments accompanying the latest Biffer announcement are pure gold…

EBF BF London mayor comments

But don’t just take our word for it – see for yourself.

For our part we’ve taken a few policy screengrabs to highlight just what this announcement demonstrates about the Biffers’ previously publicized policies…

BRITAIN FIRST POLICIES

Below is the full list of present Britain First policies.

Our policies are decided at the annual Conference held each Autumn.

EBF BF police conference 2014 raid

IMMIGRATION

– Deport all illegal immigrants;

– Deport all foreign criminals;

– Offer generous grants to those of foreign descent resident here who wish to leave permanently;

BF immigration mayor quote 4

– Completely halt any further immigration except in special cases such as genuine marriages where strict citizenship criteria has been met;

– Reject and deport all “asylum seekers” who do not originate from countries bordering Britain.

BF immigration mayor quote 3

GOVERNMENT

– Abolish the hated “Human Rights Act” which is being widely abused and which was forced on the UK by the EU;

– Implement an American style “Bill of Rights” guaranteeing freedom of speech, assembly and expression. No exceptions;

– Give England its own national parliament to create parity of esteem within the UK;

– Withdraw from the European Union and create a new trade agreement;

– Implement the need for referendums on any issues that involve the transfer of national sovereignty and the opening of our borders.

BF immigration mayor quote 5

CRIME

– Implement a radical reversal of the legal and policing focus on the “rights” of criminals and its replacement with the traditional focus on putting the victims of crime first;

– Greater use of National Service for habitual offenders;

– The restoration of Capital Punishment for paedophiles, terrorists and murderers;

EBF BF policy screengrab 1

– Make prisons a place of hard labour rather than cosy holiday camps;

– Introduce the use of “chain gangs” to provide labour for national public works;

– Free the police from politically correct restrictions and unnecessary bureaucracy;

EBF BF policy screengrab 2

The full ‘announcement’ diatribe contains much more than these highlights (including the hilarious promise to defeat serious politicians in televised debate). You can download the whole sorry statement as a PDF here.

How anyone can think of Britain First’s Biffers as anything other than neonazi wannabes really is beyond us.

BF EBF Golding Hitler London Mayor May 2016

Panto Paul plays politics (PMSL)

BF Panto Paul Dick Whittington Mayor of London 2016Head Biffer, Paul “Folding” Golding has just accepted a role in this season’s pantomime season. He’s to play Dick Whittington who, of course wants to be Mayor of London.

When I heard that I laughed so much the tears ran down my legs!

You can read the whole sorry announcement here:

Britain First begs for funds for the 2016 Mayoral election, complete with the usual neo-nazi ranting we’ve come to expect from Britain First. We’ve stuck it into a PDF for you (together with a few EBF memes to provide a bit of background). The memes provide a little relief from the blatant cockwomblery of Jayda “Dutchy” Fransen’s tiresome begging letter.

And begging, of course is what it’s really all about. There’s no way that the city that was so damaged by Nazis during the Blitz, the city that led the fight against the fascists in the 1940s will surrender to their modern counterparts in 2016. But there are plenty of stupid cockwombles who’ll believe that it might.

Once again Folding Golding and Dutchy Fransen are holding out the Biffer begging bowl and once again the terminally stupid will answer the call. Many of them don’t even realise that the politics they support are just Hitler’s Nazi policies rehashed for the modern world. Let’s look at a few highlights…

BF EBF Twitter payback Golding“We will not rest until every traitor is punished for their crimes against our country.

And by punished, I mean good old fashioned British justice at the end of a rope!”

Fransen starts as she means to go on – threatening to murder the opposition. That’s not Nazism at all, is it? We thought democracy was all about different views freely expressed. Not according to Britain First, it seems.

“Britain First is more than a normal, political party – we are a “Declaration of War” against the establishment, the vested interests behind the scenes, the crooked, corrupt politicians and the media brainwashers.

They will all endure a “Day of Reckoning” for their crimes and treachery and we will deal with them in the same way our ancestors dealt with them: through Traitors Gate at the Tower of London!”

BF Golding London Mayor May 2016“We fear no enemy, not Islam, not the politicians, the Left, the media liars, let them launch their assaults on us, we are ready and poised for battle.”

The hit list of ‘traitors’ just keeps on growing…

“Our campaign will be strong, hard-line and overwhelmingly pro-British, and we don’t give a damn what nasty names they call us and how many times they try and paint us in a bad light.

We will take on the Islamists, traitors and careerists in London and make their lives hell, because that’s what they deserve.”

“This campaign is London’s “last stand” – it withstood the blitz, the plague and zepplins (sic), but it has been murdered by immigration.”

The entire begging letter has two main themes (neither of which have anything to do with real politics). The two topics are racist hatred (and a very lengthy list of people who Britain First would like to hang by the neck) and an awful lot of begging. Essentially it boils down to…

“Send us money so that we can kill the people we don’t like.”

But there is humour in there too..

Nick griffin BNP question time 2009

“Can you imagine it in your mind’s eye: Britain First leader Paul Golding giving the likes of Sadiq Khan, Jeremy Corbyn, David Cameron, Boris Johnson, George Galloway a severe dressing down in front of the TV cameras!”

Actually, yes – we certainly can. It’d be hilarious to witness the semi-coherent Golding with his utterly inadequate grasp of history, common sense and the prevailing political landscape going up against serious politicians. They’d wipe the floor with the nasty little cockwomble. We’d all love to see that. Not that we’d ever pay Britain First for the privilege of watching his humiliation.

It’s been a while since a white supremacist was taken apart on British political TV. The last time it happened Nick Griffin (Golding’s old mentor) entertained us all with his spectacular demise on Question Time. With attitudes like these…

“Thanks to mass immigration, multiculturalism and “White Flight” we won’t be able to stand in London next time as it will be an “occupied city”.”

Folding Golding’s destruction on national TV promises to be just as entertaining!

So what will it cost our great, multicultural nation to witness Golding’s political demise?

“All of this is possible, but only if we can raise the £30,000 we need to launch our campaign on the streets of London and online.”

Yes – that’s right. Thirty grand! Judging by the amount of ‘boots on the ground’ that the Biffers usually manage to muster that’ll be around £300 each.  Good luck with that Jayda!

If you want a good laugh have a look at the PDF we’ve prepared. We’ve changed nothing (except occasionally correcting the punctuation for clarity). All we did is add a few EBF memes for context.

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