A view from a barstool #43 by Landlord

christmas-beerI have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.

Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

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Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.

bf-ebf-fransen-golding-luton-courtWhilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.

On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.

Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

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I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,

“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”

To which one of our regulars wrote

“Hmmm, like Choudary.”

So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.

One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.

But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.

Toodlepip

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EBF has a new blog writer

I’m ‘Fluffy’ and I’ll be joining the rest of the blogging team from now on. I hope you like what I have to say.

fluffy-logoI’m not one for pulling my punches – at least not in writing. I don’t mean throwing actual punches. That’s for scumbags like the Biffers who’ve no other way to get their point across. Actual debate’s beyond them so they intimidate and threaten people instead. When people who really aren’t clever enough for politics try to become a ‘legitimate political party’ they get hostile and make arses of themselves. And there’s no bigger arse than Golding.

So expect me to be a bit arsey back. I can’t help it – it’s in my blood.

I’ve been reading through all the previous blog entries here and I have to say it’s really made an impression. I knew Britain First was a bunch of wankers before but I didn’t know just how bad they were until this weekend. These people really are nasty – with a capital NASTY. If you haven’t already had a good look around the blog make a point of it. Especially look at the PDF downloads. They really do ‘Expose Britain First’.

I’m not going to get into the PDF writing thing myself. It looks like it’d take up a lot more time than I’ve got to play with. I’m planning on doing a sort of commentary on the Bifferati’s antics as stuff comes up. Like Grasser-Golding’s whiney video about Jayda’s court case. That might be my first proper blog. When I saw that I just laughed. He’s like a whiney-arsed kid who can’t handle not getting his own way. Come to think of it that pretty much sums up Britain First anyway. They’re mostly just childish little shits who can’t handle the fact that the rest of us don’t mind brown people.

Golding’s problem is he’s still a child. Fransen’s problem is she chose the wrong movement to back. She could have joined a different movement or cause and done such a lot better for herself. She’s the sort of hard-faced cow who’d rise to the top in loads of different groups. But instead of making a killing starting a fluffy-kitten appreciation club with lots of pictures of me and my furry little friends (imagine the Facebook likes that would attract) she joined the fascists instead. So now she’s bitter and a bit disappointed that she didn’t choose more wisely. Oh well. Never mind Jayda, lass. You’ve made your bed. Now you’ll just have to lie in it. Be careful though – Golding has a medical condition. You might want to look it up. It’s called nocturnal enuresis.

As for all the other Biffer glitterati, they’re hardly worth mentioning (but I will). There’s Lewis the middle-aged loser who sees the Biffers as his last chance to make something of himself. He’s right… it is… and he won’t.

Then there’s Lomax the military ‘expert’ who thinks pot noodles will be ok for field exercises in Wales. What a joke he is! He’ll be next for the political uniform charge, I should think. The arrogant little turd just won’t be able to help himself but wear his black ‘security’ hoodie with its ‘chief of staff’ badge sewn on like a cub scout’s jumper. I’ll have to watch him. He’s going to be too funny to ignore.

Lee Cooper’s keeping his head down. He might be waiting for further instructions from Jimbo about who to talk to next. He seems to be a bit of a go-between fencing deals between the money men and the street thugs. Guess which camp the Biffers fall into. I’ll give you a hint – they’ve no money.

There’s so many names to get familiar with. So many far right fools to take the piss out of. I hardly know where to start.

Most of the senior women have gone – defected to other fash groups before the Britain First legacy destroys them as well. So have most of the regular supporters of both sexes. Every event they hold gets less and less people attending. Even their supportive Facebook comments are nearly all from overseas. There aren’t many Brits left who haven’t seen through them. Even the genuine fash know that the Biffers are only about making themselves rich. That’s why they’ve all gone off to join other far right nationalist groups instead of giving all their spare cash to fund Golding’s and Fransen’s champagne lifestyle.

So I think I came in a bit too late myself. I’d have loved to be writing about the Biffers when they actually looked like they could’ve been something big. Reading back over the blog’s previous posts that looks like it might have been fun. But as Johnny-come-lately I’ll just have to put up with deriding them as they collapse. That’ll be fun too in its own way.

So look out for the moniker: Fluffy. You’ll be hearing more from me in the future.

 

It’s a boy!

stork and babyA few days ago I made hubby the happiest man in the world. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t unhappy to begin with and I know he loves our two girls to pieces but last Tuesday morning something altogether different happened. Last Tuesday I gave him a son. I thought Hubby was going to burst when he first held our gorgeous, perfect little boy. Now he’ll have an excuse to buy trainsets and airfix models and pretend it’s ‘just for the lad, you know’.

Forgive the lack of baby photographs or other details that might be used to identify our family but you all know what it’s like. This is a happy time for us and I’m not about to let anyone spoil it with protests against mixed marriages or any other Biffer nonsense about brown Muslim men ‘stealing’ white British women away from proud, patriotic white blokes. Nobody stole me. I love my beautiful brown man but even if I didn’t, there’s no way I’d be interested in the racist Neanderthals of Britain First anyway.

But enough of them. I promised Hubby I wouldn’t let myself get too distracted by racist cockwombles now that we have a brand new human to care for. One thing that’s become really obvious over the last few months is that life is too beautiful to waste worrying about immature hate-mongers like Dutchy and Der Fuhrer. I’ve promised team EBF that I’ll still write the odd piece for them. In truth I don’t think I’ll be able to resist, especially now that I won’t be working for a while. But I won’t be writing anything like as regularly as I used to.

But as I sit here with my feet up in front of the telly, a tiny, warm little person snuggling in to my neck and shoulder I can’t help but wonder about the sort of world my little boy will inherit. There’s so much hatred to be overcome right now – especially hatred toward children both here in UK and across the channel in France. I’m reminded of a verse from one of my favourite songs… ‘The night I heard Caruso sing’ by ‘Everything but the girl’.

“I thought of having children but I’ve gone and changed my mind
It’s hard enough to watch the news, let alone explain it to a child
To cast your eye across nature, over fields of rape and corn
And tell him without flinching not to fear where he’s been born”

I’m determined that my three children will grow up knowing how to love, not how to hate.

Maybe it’s time to think about a different song. This one’s by the Beatles…

“All you need is love”

A view from a barstool #37 by Landlord

Beer 2Well then here we are again, nights drawing in, central heating fired up, logs for the fire delivered and stored, Pimms back in the stockroom until either Wimbledon starts or someone remembers they like it (along with the babysham and Blue Nun I’ve forgotten about for years). And the biffers still twatwaffling on about things that happened years ago.

As we were reliably informed by biffer towers they’ve reached 1.5 million likes for their tawdry page on Facebook. “Bigger than any other political party” they say, proof that “Britain wants Britain First” Now not one to put a dampener on this lads but Britain doesn’t want you, there’s 40 odd million other Facebooking souls in the UK and as you quite like to say after the referendum the majority have spoken. Also they quite like to bandy the phrase “legitimate political party” about quite regularly but which other legitimate political party has no local council seats, no MP’s, no MEP’s, no mayors and have a conference in the back room of the Dog and Duck. In fact their argument has more holes in than their accounts.

Ah, says our pet troll, you only have 91000 likes you are just jealous. Well me ol’ mucker we aren’t. We don’t pay to promote our page, we don’t pay for likes or use clickbait. The admins and followers have been brought together because of the lies, bigotry and downright racism of the conmen and women that are Biffers. We, all of us, work bloody hard to expose them at every turn.

We also, don’t, when the cash cow that is their British followers catch onto their cons and won’t pay to stop Goldibollocks and Screechy having to get a job turn to bigots and racists across the Atlantic or the other side of the world to fund ol’ uncle Jim. In fact we are pretty sure that if uncle Jim could con money out of Russian communists there would be a “Red First”

bf-jayda-fransen-screechy-day-of-nonsense-in-telfordAway from this, Screechy’s court case is rapidly approaching. She wen’t  missing for a while (perhaps she was with Jimbo in Hungary) but our EBF satellite and drones eventually picked up her screeching voice in Telford. Maybe the signal didn’t reach to Hungary so we had to wait until she got back to her beloved Britain before we could detect her raucous tones. The truth is we don’t really care because as long as she feels the full force of the law next month we’ll be happy.

She and the Biffers can’t play their silly little games this time, no petulant ripping up of bail conditions, no sending their shittroopers to a town to stick two fingers up at the authorities… just silence. The reason, if all being fair, she could be spending time at her majesty’s pleasure, could be hearing the opening titles of Porridge (go on admit it you’re saying it now) and we and many, many others will be making virtual high fives all through the Britain she claims to love so much.

I hate to bang on about anything but one thing I must ask, please tell your families, mates, pets and neighbours. The Biffers and other scammers are due out again, trying to get you into parting with your money for Remembrance Day. Please make sure you only give to the RBL and don’t let the fucknuggets get any money intended for veterans.

Now back to the stockroom. I’m sure there’s a case of Lambrini there somewhere.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #36 by Landlord

Beer 2Another week of looking at the biffer page, another week of thinking I’m in a time warp. Watching the latest videos they’ve posted, well I say watching, I don’t watch them I just read the résumé that the other admins write I really believe that whoever is in charge of the asylum has barricaded themselves in Biffer Towers and changed the passwords to the account.

The recent trip to Oldham which,according to the high command, is a no go zone for white Christians passed off quietly apart from squealing bagpipes and,it appears, total disinterest by shoppers. A video was posted of Goldibollocks using a microphone to talk to a couple few so called islamists or peaceful shopping Muslims as I like to call them. Could it be people who are anti biffer or even pro biffer cannot be arsed anymore and treat the cockwombles with indifference. Once again the same twatwafflers were there, Goldibollocks’ shit troopers and a couple of activists that we have all seen before. So much for their “we have faaasands of new activists signing up.”

The latest begging email was an absolute hoot. Please can you “chip in” to enable us to pay to replace a camera after one of our activists had our usual one broken in a deadly attack by a radical islamist outside the East London Mosque, you know the one, a kick aimed at the retreating, rampaging biffers fleeing because they decided to be cuntish trying to stop prayers…..and the kicker, despite being caught on camera has never been caught (our moley even intimated that it was one of their own missing a Muslim). Anyway I digress, this camera according to the high command is £995. Surely they can’t think their sheep are that stupid and would check, but no, we did it for them, and it only costs half of what they asked. In fact, since I have been an admin for just over a year I have done a quick add up and apart from election funds, they have asked for just shy of quarter of a million quid. I would ask you all if you had any ideas where the money has gone but I can guess the response.

Finally, now we have replenished our hobnob stocks, I wonder what ideas you all have about the location of the next day of inaction. Answers will probably not be rewarded with Hobnobs but treated for the comedy value they normally are.

So that’s it, week over and I’m hoping that when I look at my calendar it will show I’m still in 2016 and not in the early noughties

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #32 by Landlord

As I rapidly approach my first anniversary as an EBF team admin, I thought I’d share a few before and after snapshots of my life as an admin on this superb page, fash fatigue and the laughs and tears that we’ve shared in this time.

Beer 2Before joining Team EBF I was very much fighting the right wing, trolling various pages with mates and making an annoyance of ourselves. The EDL, various Infidel pages, Casuals, and of course Britain First all had visits. But thinking back on it, it never made any difference to the way they thought. To bastardise a Farage (ugh) phrase, “racist means racist.” Although it was fun, and made me many new facebook friends I wasn’t going to change the knuckledragging idiots nor stop their disgusting lies.

Then out of the blue I was messaged by Prole who asked me if I would like to join the page (knowing now what I’ve learnt about selecting admins I feel very humbled), I didn’t take long to agree, the Biffers are the worst of the knuckledraggers, so I was introduced into the murky world of all things Goldibollocks and the guys behind the page.

My world changed. My day now consists of getting the kids up for school and on the way home stopping off at the corner shop for a dose of nicotine, caffiene energy drinks and a quick peruse of the front pages of the fash bibles, the doom and gloom twins aka the Fail and Liexpress. When I get back in, it’s cash up and get the pub ready and check twitter, Facebook and the world media for stories that help debunk the lies peddled everyday in Bifferdom. I stopped buying newspapers and watching the news when I got into fash fighting, I realised that propaganda comes in many guises so I just stopped. To this day I can’t bring myself to visit the Biffer page, as I like most of you are banned I just screamed “LIES” but can do nothing about it. Fortunately others in Team EBF have a tougher resolve, they are evenable to sit through the video’s that Screechy puts out with her voice and the hideous lies that they peddle.

After opening the pub doors, I’m able to answer pm’s to page or your links. Again these are invaluable to us as we always miss something (akin to the landlady always spotting a stray cobweb when I finish cleaning the living quarters) I also have a lovely chat to Reg, a lovely 60 year old Rasta and his wife and Mo the postie about life and the problems they, as darker skinned members of the community, have endured. Then it’s back to work on the page, discussing within the team whether such and such should go up, proof reading memes etc etc and that’s how it goes on all day, discussions, decisions and scheduling.

An accusation that gets thrown at us quite regularly is that we are terrorist appeasers, Muslim apologists, muslims and lefty traitors. The terrorist atrocities carried out over this past year have left the office in a stunned silence many of the team in tears, me a six foot plus barman with a lump in my throat, and an unspoken question of how can we defend this. The answer my friends is we don’t. Like every other right (left) minded person on this planet we can see that these murders are carried out by a miniscule percentage of so called religious zealots who are hell bent on circulating fear. Bomb somewhere and get wall to wall coverage for the next week from a media who have an agenda. Then watch every right wing page do your bidding and spread fear and islamaphobia across social media, in fact Daesh’s social media boss must have the easiest job in propaganda circles. So we don’t defend it, we publish stories that show the other 99.9% of Muslims hate Daesh as much as we do, are affected by the same feelings as we have, but they unlike us are vilified.

Then there are the good times, the Southend Network news piece about the hot cross buns, Kingsmill loaves being Halal, Cadbury’s Easter eggs no longer having Easter on them all of these and others sending the frothing biffers into apoplexy and us into fits of pissing ourselves.

There are also the begging Emails and video’s that make me wet myself at the gullibility of their Sheeple, the Election campaigns, Mosque raids, and so on that we need to counter and we do.

There you have it, a year in EBF, a year in which I have learnt about who TellMama, Hope not hate, KTI,Jim Dowson and Joshua Bonehill are. A year in which Champagne moments are mixed with lukewarm cheap lager days, but never ever boring.

Toodlepip

Are you nervous yet, Jayda?

It’s been a long day here at the EBF office. Landlord made a welcome appearance after a forced absence dealing with business issues. After ensuring the fridge was cold enough for the champagne he’d donated in case Fransen got remanded he busied himself penning an account of recent events for the blog. That goes out on Sunday morning so remember to check back then.

The rest of us could barely contain ourselves. Kit and I seemed to regress back in time to do very passable impressions of our former excitable schoolgirl selves. One or two of the guys spent the day pacing up and down until Foxy was convinced they’d wear a little path in the carpet. Prole stood silently for hours staring out over the magnificent London cityscape from our high-rise office, occasionally seeming to squeal with anticipated delight at the prospect of Britain First’s imminent demise.

London from the EBF office

We speculated amongst ourselves about what might happen. Would Jayda ‘pull a blinder’ and get away with a fine? Would she deny everything and be remanded in custody? Would the magistrates give her 6 months (the maximum sentence they’re able to dispense) and leave it at that.

We all agreed that the only thing we really wanted to happen was a referral to Crown Court. Anything else would be a bonus but a hearing in the Crown Court was essential. That’s where the really heavy duty sentences come from and so that’s what we wanted to happen.

And then… a little after 4pm the news broke. No remand (oh well) but she’d pleaded not guilty and is indeed off to Crown Court on November 2nd and 3rd 2016. Not only that her new bail conditions forbid her from entering Luton at all until the hearing. Marvellous.

BF Jayda Fransen after luton magistrates court august 5th 2016.png

Personally, I won’t pretend I’m not disappointed to see her walk free. I’d have preferred to see Fransen remanded in custody on the grounds that she tore up her last bail conditions but as Prole pointed out – that’s just a detail. We got what we were really hoping for. Jayda’s going to have to face serious criminal charges in a serious criminal court. So it’s all good. And the stupid mare actually seems to think that this is a Britain First victory!

For the record, by the way our spotters in Luton tell us that there were no Muslim hordes harassing Jayda at all. It’s more likely the delay in her report was due to Fransen needing to compose herself after a particularly frightening day in court. For all her online bravado even Jayda must realise how great is the risk of custody, especially now that she’s pleaded not guilty.

We’ll let you know how this situation develops, of course but so far so good.