A Landlords apology by Landlord

Porridge Tommy Robinson prisonNope it doesn’t happen very often, in fact almost unheard of, but I am sorry.

I believed the hype, Goldibollocks and Screechy jailed, then I find Tommeh has gone down too, the world has just got better, only Hatie Slopkins for a full house and the ale would flow better than the Gypsy Wedding I have just dealt with(swap Guinness for ale though) I gave up, not fighting bigotry, racism and the like but I gave up, I had a few weeks of being with my kids, talking to my wife and not worrying about the shit that’s flying. I gave up caring about the cunt in the White House or what the cunt in 10 Downing Street is doing to fuck our lives up. In all honesty I became human again, Facebook was just an F on my phone, Twitter was a distant memory, my web history was 18+ viewing and not Islamophobia, my life became a bubble……..I gave up, I’d had enough, could no longer be arsed. But then I was shaken out of it, I’m back (ish). I hate bigotry, racism, bully’s, money grabbing fraudsters and wankstains so I’m not going away.

I hate the way social media has become a mouthpiece for hatred, I hate the way the right wing exploit this, I hate the way that you can block or report those that challenge your views, I hate the way Real Ale costs so much, I hate the way the Jeremy Kylers have taken celebrity to another level.

I play/ed sport to a high level..sportsmen and women are heroes. Not politicians, not right wing media whores but those that represent their country, not wankers who wrap themselves with the flag.

So Tommeh the hero, his fans go wild and Stephen Yaxley Lennon is now more famous than Harry Kane, Joe Root and Anthony Joshua. Or is he………

The gruesome twosome are in this for the cash l, no one can deny this, so who is SYL or syphilis as I like to call him… arrested, charged and jailed he ain’t a KFC bargain bucket. He’s a racist cunt, like Goldibollocks and Screechy but he’s a cleverer racist cunt. His rap sheet is mahoooooosive, from wife beating to mortgage fraud, it’s almost “if you’ve got a crime get me out of here. This is the SYL who has been filmed beating the shit out of fellow race goers, who was on tv as a racist cunt and is now languishing behind bars. Is there any difference between him and our favourite racist cunts……. nope.

Goldibollocks and Screechy are all about money, five faaaasand her for a van, five faaaasand there because our system was hacked, 20 faaaasand for court cases, the rap sheet goes on and on , and Stephen Yaxley Lennon( he hates us using this name)is exactly the same, but cuter

He uses Rebel TV as his mouthpiece, and from moles inside this he was defrauding them, he set up his own platform to con more money out of the sheeple, he is in love with For Britain and Anne Marie Waters, he WAS the leader of the EDL who apart from the NF, BNP and Combat 18 the most racist of Potato groups in this country. And he asks l, just like Screechy and Goldibollocks, for money. SYL, Goldibollocks and Screechy. Two cheeks of the same arse.

So here’s a promise to you here at EBF, I may not buy as many hobnobs, coffee and custard creams as I did, but I ain’t letting the cuntspangles off the hook for a minute.

Toodlepip

Advertisements

Deeper and down

I remember a song my dad used to play in the car when I was a girl. I don’t know who it was by but they were a popular band back in the dark ages when he was a teenager. He used to put the cassette (remember those) in the car stereo on our regular trips around the Lincolnshire countryside and it always seemed to make him drive really, really fast. He and my Mum would be singing at the top of their lungs, burning the repetitive refrain into my young brain with every journey. I can hear it now, the heavy base line and repetitive guitar that seemed to be the same for every song they played. And today, for some reason I just can’t get that lyric out of my head.

“Down, down… deeper and down”

Cue bass line (ba dum ba dum)

“Down, down… deeper and down

BF fash golding fransen court sentencing

And the reason this particular earworm is haunting me today? That’s easy. Golding And Fransen are going down, down, down… deeper and down

Ba dumb a dum

Down, down… deeper and down!

Yes, that’s right – their luck has finally run out. Today we got the verdicts of their first array of charges. There are more to follow but these were the first. Fransen faced four charges of various counts of harassment and was found guilty of three of them. Golding faced three charges and was convicted of only one. But here’s the good news…

Both have crossed the ‘custody threshold’ meaning that both are liable to go to prison. We’re awaiting pre-sentence reports before the actual sentence is passed but the case against them is pretty damning and considered alongside their previous ‘form’ it isn’t looking good for the fash this afternoon. See below for a blow by blow, minute by minute account of the day these thoroughly unpleasant and dangerous fash got their just desserts.

5:11pm

BF Golding drinking mock the right‘Folding Golding’ has already promised to ‘surrender’ and refrain from ‘this type of campaigning’ in future. He accepts that ‘mistakes were made by his actions but he plans to learn from that’.

So much for ‘No surrender!’

Apparently he never touches drugs or alcohol either!

Will Fransen fold as easily as her glorious Fuhrer?

5:15pm

Erm… We’re afraid so. This just in…

In future she will “change her conduct”. “What has changed is how she will conduct herself”

Will the judge buy it? Is anyone that naïve as to believe a word these neo-Nazi scumbags say? Only time will tell.

5:22pm

Kevin Smallcombe defending effectively said that not everything they do lands them in the dock. No kidding. Not everything Charles Manson did was illegal anyway – but plenty of it was – and plenty of Fransen and Golding’s actions are illegal too. When your only defence amounts to a statement that sometimes you do legal things too you’ve got a pretty weak stick to lean on.

Smallcombe asked the Judge to treat Fransen’s 3 convictions as if it was only 1. Fat chance of that. The judge said he’ll have regard to the ‘totality of the sentence’…

Down, down… deeper and down!

5:48pm

Custodial officers have entered the dock to stand beside the fash. This is getting interesting. Not long to wait until we can open the chocolate Hobnobs!

5:52pm

Golding gets 18 weeks – he’ll serve at least half and has to pay £500 compensation.

5:56pm

Fransen gets two consecutive 18 week sentences and another concurrent 18 weeker alongside, totalling 36 weeks in the slammer. She gets to fork out 2 grand compensation too.

Paul Golding Jayda Fransen prison bars jail

Yes, we know, we know – it doesn’t seem like nearly long enough but remember that this is only the beginning. There are more charges to come.

Wait until the Northern Irish courts get their hands on Dutchy and Goldibollocks. Now they really do know what to do with people who go around stirring up religious hatred and inciting violence.

Are you two scared yet? You should be!

 

A heartfelt apology by Landlord

EBF Fransen arrested.jpgI/we have an apology to make, in the two and a half years since I became an admin on Exposing Britain First I’ve never made an appeal but this week I’ve looked in petty cash, behind the sofa and all I found was 22p a half packet of hobnobs, a small jar of coffee, 33 mint imperials and a half packet of wine gums. The reason for looking……our irony machine and biffer outrage machines are fucked, they packed up and left the office sometime on Thursday and haven’t been seen since.

We urgently need twelvty million pounds or Ant, Foxy, Nemesis and Prole will be gently rocking in their office chairs and I and the others will bugger off down the pub to drink what is left of our funds.

Poppy outrage is over, mirth over as Goldibollocks tried to show reverence as he laid a wreath, at 4 o’clock and everyone else was tucking into their Sunday lunch or watching the Grand Prix. Reports that he was told he was not welcome at the actual parade are as yet unconfirmed.

Screechy meanwhile the upholder of all things British and on this most patriotic of days, conned the police so she didn’t have to sign on in Bromley and went, not to a Remembrance service, but to address a bunch of Polish Nazis. Biffer propaganda tried to spin it that she was talking to the 30000 Poles at their Independence Day rally when in actual fact she was speaking to a fringe of goose stepping Polish Fascists. Next time she says anything about Remembrance Day and patriotism she can only get a big fuck off from all over here.

With Remembrance Day done and dusted it wasn’t long before the next Biffer outrage, Tesco. Now I’m a grumpy fucker as the landlady can agree so my outrage at Tesco and others is that there are twelve days of Christmas and none of them are in fucking November but the biffer high command was incandescent with rage as Tesco had the audacity to put a Muslim family in their festive advertising, cue the biggest bigoted frothfest seen since, well since Remembrance weekend. Muslims celebrating Christmas, they spluttered it’s not possible. My next door neighbour is called Mo, his wife Fayez( I hope I have that right she’ll kill me if I don’t), and his kids are Muslim. He’s not devout as he enjoys the odd pint and bets on the Grand National but he attends the mosque every other day. He has already got his Christmas lights up on the house and as I write is going to buy a tree. You see they enjoy Christmas more than I do, they host a wonderful Christmas party which most of our road attend, invite my family round on Christmas Day. Someone needs to tell Screechy and Goldibollocks that the birth of Jesus has connotations in Islamic faith as much as it does Christianity. So to those fucknuggets at biffer high command, shove your outrage up your arse.

Outrage number two, and a video from Screechy. I can just see it now in biffer HQ, “we need to be outraged at something,” Goldibollocks and Screechy say, “read the newspapers, scan the airwaves find us something to screech at or else.” Then Steve sees it, tries to cover it up…….but it’s there……a sausage roll. A sausage fucking roll, but not any sausage roll, a Greggs pork sausage roll. The bakery chain held in high regard in biffer circles, had the audacity to make an advert with a sausage roll instead of Jesus in a nativity scene. Now I personally am a non believer, but if that outrages anyone then Christianity has gone to the dogs. I thought the advert was brilliant but the far right exploded in disgust. Greggs later pulled the advert but for fucks sake a sausage fucking roll upsetting the biffers……please.

There is going to be more outrage, that is without a doubt, so our poor biffer outrage machine needs replacing. Please please please, think of the admins, press the imaginary donate button and give generously. Maybe we may make our twelvty million target so Prole can go on a virtual holiday as she’s looking a bit pale recently, I can buy in a virtual barrel of ale and the others can have something better than Spar coffee.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool 49 by Landlord

Beer 2So here I am again, a month after Britain First was imploding with allegations from nasty fascists against nasty fascists and the charges hanging over them. Fast forward a month and the Britain Firsts own Eva and Adolf are off on a European jaunt fucking over their supporters who blindly send money to a legal fund that appears to be funding the European invasion. The bollocks they spout about visiting fellow patriots across the continent they quite frankly hate. To be honest the only patriots they have been photographed with have been a confused looking youngish bloke and a dead ringer for a resistance member from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

The confusing question for the EBF team is why they have taken a fucknugget like Andy Edge, the walking talking EDL fuckwit, a man that camped outside a Rotherham Police station, went on hunger strike and wore the same t-shirt for two weeks. I say hunger strike… apparently kebabs, sandwiches and Stella weren’t part of the strike. He is also a convicted felon with question marks over his involvement in a case in Northumberland and missing funds.

BF EBF Golding with drunk Frenchman
Golding posing with a random drunk Frenchman

Before we go all ‘conspiracy theorist’ let’s have a look at the background to the hopefully final jolly for the fuhrers for some time. Firstly they have now been charged and bailed for racially aggravated harassment. In their words they “exposed Islamic rapists” but as we all know, they actually exposed nobody. In fact the people they ‘exposed’ had already been arrested and were being tried through the ‘Islam supporting’ judicial system, were found guilty and sentenced by a ‘lefty’ judge to 14 years imprisonment. Screechy turned up at an address where one of these rapists lived for a while but had moved and harassed the new occupants and caused distress.

 

Screechy and Goldibollocks did more to fuck up the trial than the defence.

They were charged and given bail conditions that curtailed their activities. In one video the team forced me to watch the fuhrers stated they will never surrender and fight it all the way.

“Oh by the way, you gullible cockwombles, could you send us 25k for our defence?” They said before promptly buggering off to Lanzarote.

We’ve heard and seen the rumours/allegations that have been floating around about Goldibollocks and further revelations about Jayda. More charges could be brought, perhaps they already have been but until we have irrefutable proof we won’t publish.

So here we are, the wankpuffins that are Britain First are unraveling before our eyes. Goldibollocks and Screechy are cowardly scam artists conning money from gullible vsheeple. They put up a front of togetherness when jealousy, distrust and hatred are the true order of the day.

The latest hilarious episodes just show how much they are trying to get their pensions paid by the blind fucknuggets that follow them. Firstly someone deleted their websites, the second they claim they want to sue UKRAP for using their lion. Hopefully they’ll get a few years behind bars, Britain First will go away and I can get back to drinking Hobgoblin.

Toodlepip

Is this the real life? by Landlord

As the song goes……

Is this the real life, or is it just fantasy?

The last few days have been like my wife talking about East Coronation Farm Oaks or in other words a soap opera starring the biffer high command.

As I wrote on the page we will not put anything on the page until we confirm the veracity of the allegations but we can draw conclusions from them and wonder what can happen further down the line.

We receive messages on a weekly basis from Moley and this has hinted at misdeeds by Screechy and Goldibollocks but with no viable proof, unlike the biffers, we won’t publish.
These allegations that we’ve seen over the last few days could be the beginning of the end for the biffers as in fighting causes them to implode, it could be the start of a hostile takeover by Screechy and factions close to her or it could be an elaborate hoax to test the loyalty of the high command.

The last of these would mean that someone in the Fuhrer bunker has the intelligence to start such a ruse!

Fuhrer bunkerWe are well aware of certain factions trying to take over Britain First. The woman at the centre of these allegations is a racist, a member of a Polish far right organisation that the biffers have been courting and probably been trying to get funds from. Could it be that these fascists want more than just a connection?

Tommy Robinson has been sniffing about the high command recently. Maybe the amount of money that the biffers fleece from their sheeple has attracted him like a fly over shit.

Screechy has appeared recently to be more than just the Nazi wet dream poster girl. Now Leader of the ‘Northern Ireland division’ it seems to us that she has manoeuvred herself into poll position for Fuhrer! She certainly has, from what I have seen, a huge support from biffers and respect from other fash movements. Where Goldibollocks is seen by most despicable right wing fucknuggets as a conman who would sell out for five faaaaaasand paaaaands, Screechy really is a nasty fash.

Whichever one it could be, as someone who is dedicated to their downfall I’ll watch with enjoyment as the Fuhrer bunker crumbles around their ears!

Fuhrer bunker destroyed

A view from a barstool #47 by Landlord

So here we go, some crappy important sounding music, a picture of somewhere news gets done, some smug idiot standing around shuffling papers……bugger this, it ain’t working, but anyway here is the EBF news, we would have done it on one of those crappy apps that the biffers use but the company involved wouldn’t take a packet of hobnobs and a half eaten Curly Wurly as payment, I told Foxy to throw in a Tassimo Latte thingy but hey here we go.

bf ebf jayda fransen paul golding arrested ramsgate court case may 2017.png

Anyway here is my take on the one story this week, the arrest of Goldibollocks and Screechy for inciting religious hatred. I’ve read their press release did some digging and done a biffer bullshit to EBF translation. Another begging email has gone out, after all it is coming close to the summer holiday needing to be paid for, anyway I digress….

Now the background from what I’ve seen. Screechy has been running around Ramsgate with her crew videoing her outside various premises where alleged rapists have been working or living and basically fucking up a police and CPS investigation that has landed the alleged perpetrators in court. It’s almost as if they saw what their new bestie Tommy was doing and decided we need to do some of that. Unfortunately (when I say unfortunately I actually mean hahahahahahaha) that didn’t turn out too well for Tommy either who was also nicked. Now for those trolls coming over for a visit we at EBF condemn those that break the law especially paedophiles and rapists, we just don’t judge them on the colour of their skin or the god they choose to follow. But anyway back to the translation.

Biffer release (BFR) We have to be very vague, as we are told Kent police have slapped some extreme bail conditions on them both which limits what they can say.

Landlord translation (LT) We’ve fucked up big time, we hoped that in this post brexit Britain a bit of incitement wouldn’t be noticed and we need to make it sound good to get some dosh out of you

BFR The police swooped on Paul and Jayda while they were driving by blocking the road and surrounding them with police vans.

LT We was having a lovely non Halal Curry with a nice British cup of tea and two coppers knocked on our door asking us to accompany them to the station. But that doesn’t sound good on the begging letters

BFR The raid included both uniformed and plain clothes CID officers.

LT Geoff from down the Dog and Duck was walking along the road but he was in civvies but we’ll count him as plainclothes as it sounds better on the begging letter

BFR It was a military style ambush that was executed with precision.

LT They knocked loudly and called me sir, and doesn’t it sound good on the begging letter

In all seriousness though what thorough cockwombles Goldibollocks and Screechy are. Along with Tommy and his camera buddy they were breaking the law of the land. They could now have put in jeopardy the trial of some men who may or may not have committed a disgusting offence and allowed them to be free to attack more young women. Goldibollocks and Screechy are a disgrace, this was done to incite their sheep to maintain their Islamaphobia, to fan the flames of hatred and to try and make money. It was made worse when someone took to Facebook to ask them to take one of their inciting videos down because they had the wrong address but no, they didn’t comply.

So both of them, as well as hopefully some of the other High Command are going to be prosecuted or at least we hope they are, but G&S you are, in this country, innocent until proven guilty. You don’t need vigilante cuntspangles camping outside your gaff spouting bollocks.

Final bit
BFR Will you chip in to help them fight this latest round of politically motivated persecution?

LT Pahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Toodlepip

A prison romance

This weekend something amazing happened. Big Ali “crusher” Mirza of Bradford had given up all hope of ever finding his true love when he went inside just under 7 years ago. Interviewed a couple of years back for the prison newspaper, ‘Her Majesty’s pleasure’ he said

“It’s all a bit crap really. Even the old geezer in C wing is starting to look pretty damn tasty. Please, somebody, let me shag you.”

BF Battle of Hexthorpe.jpgSkull-crushing runs in Big Ali’s family. His great great grandfather had been an official crusher at the palace of the Tipoo Sultan back in the day before the family immigrated to Britain after the partition. Ali’s 8 year old grandson, Hussain led the victorious defenders in the winning push bike cavalry charge at the Battle of Hexthorpe, forcing the invading Biffers to retreat in terror before the wheels of their tricycles and push bikes fitted with rear war stabilisers.

Where romance is concerned Big Ali’s standards seem to have dropped a bit. His latest flame, Paulie only arrived recently on the wing but the couple hit it off immediately.

ebf-prison“There’s been something missing in my life for the longest time. It’s like a big, gaping hole and Ali filled it” Paulie confided.

“Oh, I filled it, alright.” Big Ali’s eyes twinkled with the nearly indescribable joy of a lag with a green and ever so willing fag, a compliant new bitch to scratch his seven year itch.

“Big Ali’s changed my life.” Paulie admits. “I used to hate Poles but since I met Crusher’s I’ve changed my mind completely”.

As it happens Big Ali isn’t Polish at all. We’ve no idea what Paul meant by that comment.

But it’s not all smooth riding. The couple have turbulent times ahead. Paulie’s only a temporary visitor to the cell block while Big Ali plans to stay where he is for a good while yet. That’s what you get for crushing skulls with your bare hands.

“We’ll miss each other, of course” Says Crusher “but the course of true love never did run smooth.”

We asked Paulie how he felt about their impending seperation.

“Hmmshhpfpfgulp” He said , his face buried in an already remarkably well-chèwed prison issue pillow.

“we haven’t been seperated yet.” Ali butted in.

Our reporter could only agree.