A view from a barstool #47 by Landlord

So here we go, some crappy important sounding music, a picture of somewhere news gets done, some smug idiot standing around shuffling papers……bugger this, it ain’t working, but anyway here is the EBF news, we would have done it on one of those crappy apps that the biffers use but the company involved wouldn’t take a packet of hobnobs and a half eaten Curly Wurly as payment, I told Foxy to throw in a Tassimo Latte thingy but hey here we go.

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Anyway here is my take on the one story this week, the arrest of Goldibollocks and Screechy for inciting religious hatred. I’ve read their press release did some digging and done a biffer bullshit to EBF translation. Another begging email has gone out, after all it is coming close to the summer holiday needing to be paid for, anyway I digress….

Now the background from what I’ve seen. Screechy has been running around Ramsgate with her crew videoing her outside various premises where alleged rapists have been working or living and basically fucking up a police and CPS investigation that has landed the alleged perpetrators in court. It’s almost as if they saw what their new bestie Tommy was doing and decided we need to do some of that. Unfortunately (when I say unfortunately I actually mean hahahahahahaha) that didn’t turn out too well for Tommy either who was also nicked. Now for those trolls coming over for a visit we at EBF condemn those that break the law especially paedophiles and rapists, we just don’t judge them on the colour of their skin or the god they choose to follow. But anyway back to the translation.

Biffer release (BFR) We have to be very vague, as we are told Kent police have slapped some extreme bail conditions on them both which limits what they can say.

Landlord translation (LT) We’ve fucked up big time, we hoped that in this post brexit Britain a bit of incitement wouldn’t be noticed and we need to make it sound good to get some dosh out of you

BFR The police swooped on Paul and Jayda while they were driving by blocking the road and surrounding them with police vans.

LT We was having a lovely non Halal Curry with a nice British cup of tea and two coppers knocked on our door asking us to accompany them to the station. But that doesn’t sound good on the begging letters

BFR The raid included both uniformed and plain clothes CID officers.

LT Geoff from down the Dog and Duck was walking along the road but he was in civvies but we’ll count him as plainclothes as it sounds better on the begging letter

BFR It was a military style ambush that was executed with precision.

LT They knocked loudly and called me sir, and doesn’t it sound good on the begging letter

In all seriousness though what thorough cockwombles Goldibollocks and Screechy are. Along with Tommy and his camera buddy they were breaking the law of the land. They could now have put in jeopardy the trial of some men who may or may not have committed a disgusting offence and allowed them to be free to attack more young women. Goldibollocks and Screechy are a disgrace, this was done to incite their sheep to maintain their Islamaphobia, to fan the flames of hatred and to try and make money. It was made worse when someone took to Facebook to ask them to take one of their inciting videos down because they had the wrong address but no, they didn’t comply.

So both of them, as well as hopefully some of the other High Command are going to be prosecuted or at least we hope they are, but G&S you are, in this country, innocent until proven guilty. You don’t need vigilante cuntspangles camping outside your gaff spouting bollocks.

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BFR Will you chip in to help them fight this latest round of politically motivated persecution?

LT Pahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Toodlepip

A view from an uncomfortable barstool by Landlord

Not really in the mood for writing but then again why not? Every other expert, right wing fuckwit and doom merchant has so why not a slightly left wing grumpy old sod giving his and the views of his regulars on the events of Wednesday.

Firstly I think back to 9\11 and the glee on the faces of a few in the middle East as they burnt the Stars and Stripes and then I look at the vitriol from the right wing over the last couple of days and see exactly the same pleasure. The media speculate on everything making out not the gravity of the situation but trying to scare the shit out of us. To me that’s as dangerous than the murderer who carried out the attack.

EBF London attack Theresa MayRead any Facebook or Twitter feed and I see one of three sets of people, firstly those who say told you so Screechy, Goldibollocks, Robinson and others on the far right. Secondly there are those who are genuinely frightened and see the press and the rabid right pushing them to believe the bullshit that they peddle and are ready to let this already right wing government to erode more of our basic rights and finally there’s us.

EBF London attack 2We feel the pain caused, we feel the hurt caused but we can also see where this is going. Trump now feels his Muslim ban is justified, May can get away with more swingeing erosion of our rights and all in the name of safety. The Muslim Council of Great Britain once again feel the need to issue a statement saying it’s not in our name, which is paid lip service by the media and disregarded by the far right, but what can they do anymore than they do now?

So what do we know? Well someone for an unknown reason drove a car along Westminster bridge swerved and killed some tourists, then continued and crashed into a fence by the Houses of Parliament got out, stabbed a policeman and was shot. That’s it, no more no less, the rest is just conjecture and speculation, experts come on and talk endlessly about what the security forces MAY be doing. Reporters report what other reporters are reporting, Tommy Robinson gets on a train to London and tries to run around talking to anyone who’s listening, Screechy and Goldibollocks release video’s in which you can almost hear the sound of kerching in the background. But all we really know is from the police who release carefully worded statements so as not to fuel the hysteria but fail miserably as more and more experts and commentators add bits.

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I’m horrified by the events of Wednesday but I and many others stay realistic. This was a murderer doing something that is abhorrent, not in the name of a religion or ideology but because of a warped sense of view. Last year another murderer killed Jo Cox shouting “Britain First” I didn’t see a video of Screechy and Goldibollocks calling for all fascists to be deported and churches to be pulled down, I didn’t see a five minute interview of Paul Nuttall spouting shit, I didn’t see Tommy Robinson prostituting his gob to anyone who may listen, I didn’t see an erosion of our rights but I do now.

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I’m not a great lover of the police but I do however think they know what they are doing, I think they know a lot more than they are telling us but they and they alone will let us know over the coming days and weeks and this is the only information I will believe.

Finally all the admins on this page would like to pass on our condolences to the victims of this murderer, people who went out to enjoy the sights of our beautiful city, or was guarding the houses of parliament and will not be going home.

Toodlepip

Biffers, Islamists, God and me

I’m not really very religious but I thought perhaps I should have a little word in God’s shell-like. Too much stuff didn’t make any sense. So I sat down in a quiet room with curtains drawn and meditative candles duly lit, all set to talk to my maker.

It wasn’t a long conversation but it seemed to straighten a few things out for me. It went like this…

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I saw the news today… Oh boy!

It seems that there’s another horror story, another scandal, another illustration of inhumanity every day. The front pages of our daily newspapers are replete with stories, some true and some ‘post-truth’ (AKA outright lies), often with lengthy accompanying editorials telling us what to think, what to believe and crucially… who to hate.

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Sometimes it’s really easy for news outlets. Editors pick and choose the targets of their righteous anger according to simple protocols depending upon their paper’s particular bias. The well-known algorithm of ‘if brown – terrorist’ and ‘if white – mentally ill loner’ is both obvious and depressingly common. For those of us who follow the ridiculously partisan pronouncements of far-right neoNazi groups like Britain First the ammunition these superficial and formulaic headlines and editorials provide for right wing ‘post-truthers’ like the Biffers is a source of continual irritation.

Britain First’s social media outlets (of which there are many) are stuffed with generalisations about all Muslims based upon a minority of paedophiles or Islamic terror groups who are far more likely to murder other Muslims than anyone else, so unpopular are they within the wider Islamic world.  None the less, international terrorism remains a favourite propaganda topic for the Biffers.

The other really big propaganda bonanza for Britain First is paedophilia. They just love the opportunity to expose paedophiles from the Muslim or immigrant communities. The browner the skin the greater the offence, it seems. The more Islamic the name the greater the likelihood that it’s a paedophile ring (even when there’s absolutely no evidence of any such clandestine group). Britain First claims to hate Muslims because it hates paedophiles. They would have you believe that their outrage at paedophilia came first and they only focus upon Muslims because Muslims do all the interfering with children. Really? Well, in that case…

ebf-football-paedophile-ringWhat will they make of this?

Will the Biffers be organising demonstrations outside Leeds FC? Can we expect to see Dutchy Fransen giving impassioned speeches about the evils of Football outside Blackpool’s Bloomfield Road ground or harassing the other 53 British clubs with large Biffer-banners demanding “No more football”? After all, you can’t get much more organised than a paedophile ring that draws its victims from 55 established UK football clubs, can you? That’s 55 local organisations spread throughout the country, each with a youth wing and legitimate reasons to expect children to undress and shower together in the company of perverted adult youth leaders.

We look forward to seeing the reception that half a dozen sad Biffers get when they confront the fans of a large city football club with the accusation that “They’re all the same”.

So come on Dutchy. You might as well. After all you’re banned from entering British Mosques. Let’s see how you get on with this truly massive example of organised child exploitation. If it’s really the kids you care about (and not skin colour or religion) there shouldn’t be any reason to avoid taking on the FA. We suggest you begin with Chelsea. That way you won’t even have to cross the M25 to make your heroic point about the dangers of organised paedophilia. Or maybe you could go to Sunderland – we’re sure you’d be most welcome up there.

We can see it now. A handful of brave Bifferati descending upon Sunderland’s ‘Stadium of light’, waving their banners and flags to the timeless mantras…

“No more football!”

“Ban the Penalty shoot-out!”

“It could be anyone in that Director’s box!”

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A view from a barstool #41 by Landlord

Beer 2Another week where the wife thinks I’m running off to Barbados with our barmaid as right wing hilarity reigns supreme. An even more right wing idiot takes over at UKRAP, the man in charge of Brexit says Britain will pay to be part of the single market even though the whole idea of leaving was to send no more money. There was another begging letter from our favourite wankpuffins, new policies have emerged from the same spunktrumpets and the biffers’ favourite ‘fair-minded’ news output lost one of it major backer’s. I really must read and listen to the right wing shenanigans whilst said barmaid is off.
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So to sum up the biffers week… There was a day of inaction in Nuneaton where, according to Screechy loads of locals turned up to support them although this was not borne out in fact or by empirical evidence. Even their own tired old video, with patriotic music and Screechy commentating showed a complete lack of interest. It showed the same old activists turning up to give out leaflets about some crap or other and trying to force their toilet paper on bemused Christmas shoppers. We at EBF felt for the activists so much we were thinking of having a whip round to buy them a few cardboard cutouts so they in turn could go and get some shopping done.
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There seems to be a deafening silence and lack of action outside the FA over the latest cases of child abuse. All here are sickened by any abuse from whatever race or religion, but the deafening silence from over at biffer high command just shows them for the hypocrites they are.
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I noticed they have a roadshow in the southeast, in Rotherhithe to be exact. The Lefty Landlord mafia don’t hold much truck over there leading me to believe it’s a hive of right wing activity and therefore  we can’t try to harass and cajole venues to kick them out. I believe 107 people have expressed an interest in going but I think after Screechy and her “security” turn up the number will be closer to that of which my 4 year old daughter can count up to comfortably. I could be wrong but I won’t be too far out.
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Whilst our erstwhile patriots are there they can partake in a buffet, a social afterwards and listen to Screechy talk shit about her favourite subject. Oh yes, and there is one other thing… This great, legitimate political party, you know the one with no MP’s no MEP’s, councillors or any other elected officials, is going to discuss their policies. Well I say policies – more like a racist diatribe that basically means any lefteyes, or Tories (leftwards according to them) will be rated as traitors and not tolerated in bifferdom. I won’t go through them all as the barmaid has returned but here’s a few of their unbudgeted, racist bollocks.
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Disbar followers of the Islamic ideology from holding public office, anyone found to be promoting the ideology of Islam to be deported or imprisoned.
Remove the right of choice for females.
Replace the present multi faith educational system with a predominant focus on Christianity and so on.
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Racist cuntwaffle is how I see it, reminiscent of policies see in 1930’s Germany.
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NEW YORK, NY – JUNE 25: A general view of atmosphere during the Kellogg’s Recharge Bar on June 25, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

The final part of their policies lead me quite nicely on to Brietbart losing Kellogg’s as a sponsor and advertiser citing that Kellogg’s do not stand for the right wing mantra spewed by Brietbart. In reply to that Brietbart instead of talking to Kellogg’s chucked their toys out of the pram. I urge all of you to buy Kellogg’s products or at least leave a review on their pages. Brietbart if you are not aware are one of the biffers favourite news  sources and certainly fly very close to lying about Islam and anything slightly liberal. Which, in the case of biffers and their final policy, making it a crime to publish lies in the media will be totally laughable as any of their sources can be picked apart pretty rapidly to leave the prisons full of hacks.

Well that’s it in a nutshell. Laughable, stupid, dangerous, hypocritical and full of shit. That is how I see the biffers. Now I must take my leave I’ve been instructed by the landlady it’s time to decorate the pub and make it all christmassy. I don’t agree, but that’s because I’m a grumpy bugger not because I’m anti Christmas. Also my Muslim mate has agreed to help so there is no issue there.
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Toodlepip
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Jayda discusses her show trial

bf-jayda-fransen-discussing-show-trial-lutonIt wasn’t a show trial, you stupid bint. It was a run of the mill, common or garden hearing in a Magistrates court to deal with a petty criminal.

I watched your video. You didn’t discuss the trial at all – not in any way that made sense.

You showed an edited video making it look like the other party started it.

Why don’t you show us the beginning? You know – the part where you single out the woman because she’s white and that goes against your small-minded idea of what Muslims should look like. Why not show us that part?

Why don’t you show yourself crossing the road to have a go at her in front of her kids?

Why don’t you just come clean and admit that you’re a great big fuck up – just like all the rest of Britain First?

You won’t do that because you’re just a liar. You and your arse-wipe leader, Golding. He’s a liar too. I was amazed at how many of your lies EBF has exposed when I started reading back through their blog and the Facebook memes of yours they’ve shown up. That’s why it’s so great to have been asked to join them. I can help put the final few nails on your coffins, you fuck-witted, neonazi scumbags.

In your video you soon stop talking about the trial altogether. No surprise there – there’s nothing you can say that won’t show you up for the sulky, whiney child you really are. So you go on to talk about the judge instead. If you thought that would make you less whiney, you’re wrong. It just makes you look even more stupid… and whiney.

Face it Jayda – you fucked up, you got caught, you have to take the shit that comes with it. That’s the British legal system.

If you don’t like our laws, Dutchy…. Fuck off back to Holland!

It’s a boy!

stork and babyA few days ago I made hubby the happiest man in the world. Don’t get me wrong, he wasn’t unhappy to begin with and I know he loves our two girls to pieces but last Tuesday morning something altogether different happened. Last Tuesday I gave him a son. I thought Hubby was going to burst when he first held our gorgeous, perfect little boy. Now he’ll have an excuse to buy trainsets and airfix models and pretend it’s ‘just for the lad, you know’.

Forgive the lack of baby photographs or other details that might be used to identify our family but you all know what it’s like. This is a happy time for us and I’m not about to let anyone spoil it with protests against mixed marriages or any other Biffer nonsense about brown Muslim men ‘stealing’ white British women away from proud, patriotic white blokes. Nobody stole me. I love my beautiful brown man but even if I didn’t, there’s no way I’d be interested in the racist Neanderthals of Britain First anyway.

But enough of them. I promised Hubby I wouldn’t let myself get too distracted by racist cockwombles now that we have a brand new human to care for. One thing that’s become really obvious over the last few months is that life is too beautiful to waste worrying about immature hate-mongers like Dutchy and Der Fuhrer. I’ve promised team EBF that I’ll still write the odd piece for them. In truth I don’t think I’ll be able to resist, especially now that I won’t be working for a while. But I won’t be writing anything like as regularly as I used to.

But as I sit here with my feet up in front of the telly, a tiny, warm little person snuggling in to my neck and shoulder I can’t help but wonder about the sort of world my little boy will inherit. There’s so much hatred to be overcome right now – especially hatred toward children both here in UK and across the channel in France. I’m reminded of a verse from one of my favourite songs… ‘The night I heard Caruso sing’ by ‘Everything but the girl’.

“I thought of having children but I’ve gone and changed my mind
It’s hard enough to watch the news, let alone explain it to a child
To cast your eye across nature, over fields of rape and corn
And tell him without flinching not to fear where he’s been born”

I’m determined that my three children will grow up knowing how to love, not how to hate.

Maybe it’s time to think about a different song. This one’s by the Beatles…

“All you need is love”