A view from a barstool #39 by Landlord

“It’s the most wonderful time in the world” so the Christmas song goes. Nope the grumpy, athiest Landlord hasn’t taken leave of his senses nor has the barmaid ran off with me. It’s the time that some unwashed lefty landlords and I get together to do CAT tests on the promotional barrels of Hobgoblin (rather a lot of them) and discuss all things fascist and how we go about countering them around the country. Also they help me to write this blog. Last year they helped me on Bigot brother or big Bigot, this year we have come up with a new soap opera, Bigot Street. Hopefully someone picks it up or it could be a bigger failure than Eldorado. Forgive me any typos please, writing this after a few pints of the nectar probably isn’t the best time to do this.

This is set in a street that the fash dream of, a late 50’s terrace and people leaving the doors open. At number one a rather rotund gentleman known as Goldibollocks lives, a British flag or seven decorating both front and back, so it appears there are more people there than is thought, he appears to be the leader of the gang. He doesn’t work for a living just cons everybody and pretends to be a political heavyweight whilst being shit scared to enter into debates.

At number two is a loud mouthed harridan called Screechy who spends her days again not working but living off the begging bowl. Everyday she changes her security arrangements paid for by unsuspecting members of the public that think she does more than just screech at anybody that doesn’t pray to her particular god. She also tells all that she is a legal whizz having studied at Bigot Street’s local college, ‘The School of Hard Knocks’. She appears to have a hatred of anyone that doesn’t think the same way or is slightly tanned. She was in awe of Goldibollocks but now appears to be happier with her uncle.

Number 3 is the local newsagents, ran by a man who everyone calls Uncle Jim. He seems to like black and white flags and calling for crusades. He has all the newspapers in the shop, The Express, Mail, Brietbart. He’s the local lay preacher that hates homosexuality, Catholics and Islam. This could change depending on who he can fleece the most out of. He hates socialism but seems a bit taken by the Russian president.

Number four is a Fatman who works at the bakery. This bakery sells nothing but pies. He is a touch more literate than the others and although the bakery never opens although there always appears to be pies there in the morning. Mr Lewis is also treasurer of the streets council as he has the batteries for the calculator and the typewriter. He also can’t be trusted with the local church fêtes banner as it seems he loses them too easily.

Number Five is lived in by security guard Lomax. He is never seen without a stab vest, body camera, dodgy gloves and heavy walking stick. He seems obsessed with Screechy and Goldibollocks as he follows them everywhere they go like a faithful lapdog. He really should be licenced but can’t con anyone to put him through the course as he is too far down the hierarchy of Bigot Street. He is most likely to run in the opposite direction of anyone tanned.

Next there seems to be a confused gent. He hates immigration but has a name like Carmelo. He seems hell bent on getting into the A team and climbing the ladder of the hierarchy and closer to the honeypot. He seems to want to take on the immigrants with a stab vest, camouflage and a ruler.

At number seven, although on the outside of the main team is Nasty Nick. He seems to have talked his way in by sucking up to Uncle Jim. He has political ambition and appeared on the TV being owned by an audience. He wants all his fellow bigot’s to follow him to Hungary to set up racist world but no one wants to invest.

At number eight, although his house has the number 228 on it is a chap called Broomfield. He has the number 228 as although a paid up member of the gang he is an embarrassment to the high command.

Here I must stop with the houses, mainly due to the fact the Hobgoblin is taking effect.

At the end of Bigot Street there is a pub. A real olde world one with bar billiards (would have been a snooker room but Screechy and Goldibollocks kept taking it for filming). This pub sells great British beer like Stella, Carlsberg and Guinness. The top shelf of Smirnoff, Bacardi and Jim Beam, you know none of that foreign muck here. The Bigot’s stand around the old Joanna singing patriotic songs and wishing it was 1958 when blighty wasn’t overran by johnny foreigner, we all sang the national anthem and we respected the law of the land (as long as it wasn’t made by communist police and the lefty lackeys of the judiciary. The bigot’s talk long into the night deciding that a wall round their street complete with machine gun nests and barbed wire before toddling off for a non halal kebab.

So that’s the idea, I only need firty faaaaaaasand paaaaaands to get it off the ground. Can you chip in.
TARGET firty faaaaaaasand
Amount conned a midget gem, a marshmallow, three buttons and a safety pin.

Anyway, I should be back next week cuddling another barrel and reporting on all things biffer if the hangover goes and I have bought a big enough anniversary present for the wife.

Toodlepip

The ‘Muslim paedo’ myth

Britain First is great at jumping on bandwagons. Arguably that’s all they ever do (apart from beg for money). One of the most common bandwagons they board as readily as the rest of us hop on to public transport (goose-stepping up the ideological bus like the bunch of demented Biffers that they really are) is the ‘Muslim paedo’ myth.

You know the one – this is the myth that would have you believe that there are no paedophiles outside of Islam and no Muslims who aren’t paedophiles. This is the myth that all Muslims are either paedophiles or paedophile enablers. This is the myth that anyone who opposes Britain First is a paedophile lover. This is the myth that says that there would be no paedophile problem in the UK without Muslims. This is the myth that would have you believe that UK paedophiles didn’t exist until 1997 when immigration ‘began’ at the behest of Tony Blair. This is the myth that tells you this stuff just didn’t happen – it couldn’t have – it didn’t involve Muslims and it was going on long before 1997.

John Broomfield (RCO Biffer)

If Britain First was really interested in dealing with paedophilia then they’d address the real problem head on. They’d do something constructive to help like support victims charities or child protection organisations. But they’re not really interested in child protection. That’s why they ignore white paedophiles and even promote them within their own organisation. Let’s not forget that the RCO Biffer, John Broomfield is himself a convicted paedophile.

It’s interesting that we haven’t seen Broomfield in any of the Britain First pics or videos recently. He hasn’t been at any of the rallies or meetings as far as we can tell. Maybe he was just too embarrassing for this group of ‘anti-paedo’ campaigners. Maybe they just quietly got rid of him. They certainly haven’t issued any statements about him. It almost smells like a cover up. Hang on though – isn’t that the sort of sneaky move they criticise others for?

We don’t know if Broomfield has gone or not. We do know that until EBF started exposing the sex offender in their ranks Britain First’s Biffers had no problem taking orders from an RCO who was also a convicted paedophile – so long as that paedophile was white. It’s almost as if they’re really just a bunch of hypocritical racists. Not that anyone would ever believe that!

The reality is that paedophilia is a problem throughout society. It’s been present for decades, perhaps centuries and it exists amongst all ethnic and religious groups.

The Biffers would have you think that child abuse is about Muslims. We would have you do a bit of research yourself. It really doesn’t take much time on google to learn just how stupid this myth really is.

Jayda hates paedos!

Britain First’s Deputy Fuhrer, the 100% British haridon with a remarkably Dutch sounding surname has finally said something remotely interesting. How cool is that? Well actually, not very.

Using the microblogging social media site, Twitter she published this…

Unfortunately for Fraulein Jayda she doesn’t appear to have thought through all the implications.

For example, Britain First OberstFuhrer, John Broomfield is himself a convicted paedophile. Whilst nobody here at Exposing Britain First particularly sympathises with Broomfield (or indeed any paedophile), castration does seem a little extreme. Still, if the Deputy Fuhrer, Dutchy demands it we’re sure it won’t be long before RCO Broomfield gets gelded by some obedient but overzealous biffers. Best sleep with one eye open from now on, John!

Her ‘no true Christian’ quip seems a tad strange in the circumstances too. Jayda’s a Roman Catholic which presumably means she’s heard about the ways that British catholics were persecuted after the reformation. Not that the staunchly sectarian Britain First cares a jot about any of that. Following in the footsteps of co-founder, Jim Dowson the biffers are most definitely on the side of the protestants. That’s a topic for another post altogether though.