View from a barstool #44 by Landlord

Beer 2As 2017 comes in and we can at least bid a non-fond farewell to 2016 I was wondering just what this new year had in store for a grumpy, lefty, Muslim apologist landlord. I’ve had a look back at the year just gone, one in which it seems you can bomb the fuck out of somewhere, killing children, and a year that seems to justify fascism.

In Syria bombs continue to rain down on Aleppo, killing indiscriminately. Now I have an admission to make… I’m not particularly up on who’s doing what, where over there. I just can’t stand the fact that a whole bunch of innocent people are being killed by the west, Russia, their own government, Daesh and lack of food. The Biffer trolls’ favourite saying is “they should stay and fight” but fight whom, with what? Should they shoot the odd (not so) smart bomb with catapults?

Brexit has seemed to galvanise the right into thinking bigotry and abuse of anyone slightly off white is acceptable. Twitter and Facebook is awash with so-called celebrities writing statements that over a year ago would have seen them hauled over the coals. It seems that it’s ok to go up to foreign looking chappies and chappesses and tell them to “Fuck off home” even though their home is here. It seems ok to invade places of worship because their god is different to yours. It seems ok to racially abuse people in the street, all because a non-binding referendum seemed to say we hate foreigners.

Brexit send them back T shirt   Walsall halal butcher arson petrol bomb brexit

Well Katie Fucking Hopkins you failed at business, you failed at being a celebrity and you will fail at your pathetic attempts to shock. You see we laugh at you. I don’t care how you voted, as long as the reason wasn’t racial.

2016 also saw the deaths of many celebrities. Now call me a grumpy cuntspangle but I don’t see anyone as better than us, my television is limited to Sky Sports and peppa pig. I’m also someone who as a bar manager at Thorpe Park barred Katy Jordan (or something) as I really didn’t “know who I am” when she screamed at me. However during my formative years I did listen to a lot of Status Quo, a bit of Bowie, read a lot of Richard Adams and loved Star Wars so I am sorry they lost their lives. I also say RIP to all those who lost their lives in senseless wars, so called terrorist attacks or anything else.

The Americans have also managed to get the rest of the world united in a collective facepalm as they voted in a racist buffoon who is both financially and morally bankrupt. Us ‘lefteyes’ better run for cover… fuckwit is coming to town.

And now my favourite part of 2016, the beginning of the end of Bifferdom. They crave publicity and money. They want to be a “legitimate” political party who make all others quake in their boots. They want to outlaw a religion, not as they tell it but because it makes them money. What sort of year have they had? Well it’s been brilliant.

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They’ve got a new camera, Screechy appears to have increased by a cupsize or two, Goldibollocks and Stevie’s waistline seems to have expanded. The two leaders have criminal records, Goldibollocks being interned at her majesty’s pleasure for ignoring a High court injunction and Screechy for bullying a young Muslim lady. They failed to make any inroads in politics. Screechy, Goldibollocks and his mum/family failed even to make a blip on the BBC’S colour chart in the mayoral election. Their conferences and road shows were supported by the same 20 followers, despite having twelvty million likes on Facebook. So the Biffers were a failure too.

As I look now to 2017 what can I expect. Well probably more of the same. Although teetering on the edge of annihilation whilst there is still money to con, the Biffer High command will continue to talk bollocks and fail in almost everything they do. Hopkins will continue to talk shit and no one will listen. Trump will bankrupt the US and the West will continue senseless bombing of countries that might have oil, or pipelines owned in part by media moguls.

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But there is something I saw over the recent festivities, a coming together of all faiths (and none) sticking the proverbial two fingers up at Trump, Fartage, Daesh, Bifferdom, Hopkins et al. The left, centre and centre right all beginning, to use a movie quote to “be excellent to each other”. You see we, the normal non-bigoted people are fed up of all this cuntwaffle from the Nazi far right and have had just as much as we can take.

So I’m not giving up smoking, drinking or meat. My resolution is to be excellent to all. Apart from Biffers they can fuck off.

Toodlepip

A prison romance

This weekend something amazing happened. Big Ali “crusher” Mirza of Bradford had given up all hope of ever finding his true love when he went inside just under 7 years ago. Interviewed a couple of years back for the prison newspaper, ‘Her Majesty’s pleasure’ he said

“It’s all a bit crap really. Even the old geezer in C wing is starting to look pretty damn tasty. Please, somebody, let me shag you.”

BF Battle of Hexthorpe.jpgSkull-crushing runs in Big Ali’s family. His great great grandfather had been an official crusher at the palace of the Tipoo Sultan back in the day before the family immigrated to Britain after the partition. Ali’s 8 year old grandson, Hussain led the victorious defenders in the winning push bike cavalry charge at the Battle of Hexthorpe, forcing the invading Biffers to retreat in terror before the wheels of their tricycles and push bikes fitted with rear war stabilisers.

Where romance is concerned Big Ali’s standards seem to have dropped a bit. His latest flame, Paulie only arrived recently on the wing but the couple hit it off immediately.

ebf-prison“There’s been something missing in my life for the longest time. It’s like a big, gaping hole and Ali filled it” Paulie confided.

“Oh, I filled it, alright.” Big Ali’s eyes twinkled with the nearly indescribable joy of a lag with a green and ever so willing fag, a compliant new bitch to scratch his seven year itch.

“Big Ali’s changed my life.” Paulie admits. “I used to hate Poles but since I met Crusher’s I’ve changed my mind completely”.

As it happens Big Ali isn’t Polish at all. We’ve no idea what Paul meant by that comment.

But it’s not all smooth riding. The couple have turbulent times ahead. Paulie’s only a temporary visitor to the cell block while Big Ali plans to stay where he is for a good while yet. That’s what you get for crushing skulls with your bare hands.

“We’ll miss each other, of course” Says Crusher “but the course of true love never did run smooth.”

We asked Paulie how he felt about their impending seperation.

“Hmmshhpfpfgulp” He said , his face buried in an already remarkably well-chèwed prison issue pillow.

“we haven’t been seperated yet.” Ali butted in.

Our reporter could only agree.

Golding’s going down!

bf-paul-golding-prison-1We’ve waited a long time for this news. Sometimes we thought it would never happen. The big celebratory packet of chocolate Hobnobs has sat gathering dust on the EBF office shelf for far too many months, neglected and ignored. Only Kit would occasionally take it down from its place by the Facebook admin rota and stare deep into its plastic wrapping as though willing the chocolate out from between the oaty goodness within.  With the iron determination of a Biffer waiting doggedly for evidence she steeled herself for a long delay before the celebrations could begin. But now she waits no longer.

Today in the High court Paul Golding finally got his cummupance. He’s gone down for 8 weeks. Admittedly it’s not long and he’ll no doubt be out in four but that’s still a fair amount of time for someone who’s never been in prison before. It’s a Hell of a long time for Golding to be without his minders. Not exactly known for his courage Der Fuhrer never goes anywhere without his bodyguards.

He’s hated by the left for being a Nazi. He’s hated by the right for being a scam merchant. He’s hated by Muslims for stirring up trouble. He’s hated by the authorities for his contempt of the law. And he’s all alone without his bouncers. Good luck in there Paulie!

What’s the reason for his awful Christmas and New Year incarceration, I hear you ask? Well – according to Deputy Fuhrer (sorry – acting Fuhrer) Fransen…

Britain First leader Paul Golding has been sent to PRISON for confronting a hate preacher who said it is okay for Muslims to keep sex slaves!

But that’s not strictly true. Actually it’s because he breached a High court injunction forbidding him from entering or encouraging/allowing others to enter any Mosque in England & Wales without prior written invitation. Fransen does eventually admit this but not before attempting to rustle up as much outrage from the sheeple as she could…

Today, at the High Court in London, a judge decreed that this breached the Luton police injunction forced on us a few months ago

It’s also not true that the Imam in question said it’s permissible to keep sex slaves. In fact he was discussing passages from the Quran and placing them in proper context. His conclusion was that it’s actually NOT permissible. The whole Mosque invasion wasn’t just illegal, it was based upon an obvious lie. Golding and his Biffers were well aware of the truth before they set out to Wales that day but as ever for the Biffers – why let the truth get in the way of a good publicity stunt?

Fransen’s rant goes on to complain that Paulie’s poor little life is in danger because of corrupt left wing judges and vicious Muslim gangs running the prisons. You know – the same Muslims who according to Britain First never get convicted of anything, ever because of our corrupt judicial system. We have to wonder what these imaginary Muslim gangs might be doing in British prisons if, as the Biffers never tire of telling us, they never get convicted of anything but that’s for another time.

We do think Goldie might be at risk, but not from Muslim gangs. We think he’s far more likely to be hurt by the genuinely violent underbelly of British culture – middle-aged, white, far-right racists who resent the fact that Golding’s constant begging for money and pointless posturing has starved them of funding. There are plenty of disgruntled EDL in the nick who’d just love to take a pop at Goldibollocks.

Whether he gets hurt or not is a moot point though. The fact is he’ll be shaken by the experience. A tin-pot fascist without his protection is a snivelling little nobody. This sentence sets a precedent that has been a long time coming. The next breach is likely to attract even bigger sentences, even more jail time and it’s hard to imagine that little Paulie will be up for doing any more ‘bird’ in the foreseeable future. Fransen seems to us to be much more courageous (after her infamous loss of confidence in Burton) and we’d expect her to be the next Biffer to go down. Or maybe Lomax for benefit fraud. We’ll have to wait and see about that one.

Either way the writing is finally on the wall for Britain First. They may not know it yet (although we think they do) but we can expect stiffer and stiffer penalties from the establishment from now on.

So with that in mind…

Come on Kit – open those Hobnobs!

View from a barstool #42 by Landlord

Beer 2Pahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. They say something’s are constant in the world, like drinking to much over the festivities, the Queens speech, Nigel Fartage spouting crap and now the biffers latest begging bowl email which has me reaching for the Tena Man.
It seems to me they’ve been told by Uncle Jim’s travel agent that the cost of their Christmas holiday has increased due to their beloved Brexit. Maybe their disciples haven’t bunged enough money their way for a free management computer system and an overpriced camera.  So they fall back on old faithful and come up with an old favourite, not for Goldibollocks’ court case, it’s almost a dead cert he’ll play a blinder and plead guilty, but because the government MAY want to proscribe them and they have to have the cash just in case, Guvnor.
Now forgive a grumpy cynical Landlord but fuck off biffers! I know we here in EBF land, or ‘sanity’ as I call it, laugh at your pathetic attempts at marches, your lack of support at your days of (in)action and your tacky, racist shares from fake right wing media outlets. We snigger at your assertion that you are a legitimate political party sending shockwaves through the political elite despite your current councillors, MP’s and MEP’s totalling a big fat zero. We all know you’re a party who is laughed at in the main stream media so please don’t insult our intelligence in the same way you insult the intelligence of your followers.
theresa-may-8The government won’t proscribe you, however unfortunate that may be. They find you as irritating as dog shit on the bottom of their shoe but they really don’t see any need to take you seriously. The right wing groups they will go after are the ones that are really dedicated to violence and want to cause deaths. They’ll go after alliancess like National Action and a few of The infidel groups., not your mob of conmen Walt’s and foreign supporters. You can just about muster enough followers to take over my front room let alone anything else.
How your supporters still manage to accept everything you say is beyond me. Have your muslamic ray guns been set to stupid? The bacofoil you send out must have hallucinogenic drugs in it. From comments we’ve been sent by Moley from ex members of your high command they’ve admitted that it’s all about the money and very little else. There again a significant percentage of your support does come from the US of A and they voted in a conman too so nuff said. To close you down would be simple, send trading standards and the taxman round and you’d be gone without the government making matyrs out of you.
I see our ‘favourite’, please read that as ‘cuntspangle‘, racist has had his sentence increased, this time for racial harassment of a MP. When we in the office read the judge’s summing up we all looked at each other and wished the judge had been sitting at Screechy’s trial. I think she would have been well and truly fucked.
joshua-bonehill-aine-guilty-harrassing-mpFinally the rise of the far right seems to have been checked for now, Hofer in Austria lost, citing Fartage as the problem, Geert Wilders found guilty in Holland but surprisingly not sentenced to anything (musht have been thosh shpeshel shiggerettes) and Uncle Jim and his pet racist, Griffin trying to fight KTI’s corner so badly that even Hitler’s mouthpiece The Daily Fail had a go at them.
All in all then a weird week. The wife has realised my mirth is to do with the biffers. Their desperation is showing signs of trying to fleece as much as they can before flouncing off to Hungary. Bonehill is banged up for longer and will have some stringent conditions if he comes out, Goldibollocks is going down, Fartage is fucking off because he’s poor and my Christmas ale has arrived this year in time for Christmas. Have a good week.
Toodlepip
christmas-beer

View from a barstool #40 by Landlord

Beer 2A couple of weeks away and all hell has broken loose with right wing shenanigans. The hairpiece is going to be the most hated, powerful man on this planet, Thomas Mair is convicted of Jo Cox’s assassination with right wing undertones with pictures showing him on a day of activism with the biffers, Goldibollocks standing down to take time out(hopefully) at her majesty’s pleasure and a convicted felon taking over in our Screechy. And now proof that all is not well in bifferdom.

In my own world of cyberspace my American friends are unable to take in the way their country has voted. Admittedly they were sceptical of Hillary Clinton who is as trustworthy as the biffers but for their fellow countrymen to vote in a sexist, racist, bankrupt twat is enough to have them crying into their Buds. Some say that this just proves that the Americans are crazy but I personally feel that it is more sinister as more and more countries are seeing surges in support for the far right. Some have even dressed it up as ‘alt-right’ but I’ll call it how I see it, ‘deep rooted racism’.

Possibly Tommy Mair Dewsbury BF demoThe assassin known as Thomas Mair was convicted this week and as a white man I apologise for his terrorism. As the racists keep asking normal Muslims to apologise for Daesh I will get in first. Whether or not when he shouted “Britain First” he meant it as a battle cry or as a tribute to his favourite racists no one can be sure but the deafening silence from biffer towers and the pictures of him at one of their wanky days out prove it to me. The Nazi paraphernalia found shows that once again a line white terrorist is as bad as the Daesh ones.

So Goldibollocks has stood down, temporarily at least to spend more time with his family. That is laughable to say the least as his family now accompany him to all his roadshows to help swell the numbers to double figures. The fact that the blind disciples don’t see is that the jail time Goldibollocks is hopefully going to get just so happens to be 6 months…….a coincidence, a conspiracy theory or some time in Uncle Jim’s racist enclave. Whatever it may be we here at EBF towers and the majority of our followers will be giggling at his predicament like schoolgirls.

That brings us to the convicted felon who is taking over from Goldibollocks, Screechy take a bow…..or don’t as your cleavage is getting quite an airing on your soapbox….your ambition has been reached, Uncle Jim has his own way and the hierarchy that have been slowly inching away from Goldibollocks into her camp have their own way. During her trial, and if you listen to the biffers she was a modern day Joan of Arc, she was stoic in her defence and was only convicted by lefty magistrates and the gutter press. Now I’m a novice in things legal, apart from the licencing law, but the overwhelming evidence produced by the CPS convicted her in two out of the three charges.

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In a way I’m glad she wasn’t jailed, and I can’t believe I’ve just said that, but the High command are looking for a big pay day and a martyr doing pokey, especially their pin up girl would almost certainly boost their coffers. I’d love Goldibollocks or indeed her to do community service in a Muslim area.

Screechy and Goldibollocks are so keen to remind anyone in earshot or on social media that they are a political party, all be it with no seats in any council, parliament, parishes or the EU, they constantly ask would any other party leaders be treated the same. So Goldibollocks and Screechy I’ll ask something to you……I don’t see Theresa May, the Libdem leader, Jeremy Corbyn or any other party leader being a convicted felon, being associated with an assassin, or ripping supporters off for cash.

I have also seen the ex biffers chatting amongst themselves,some very close to the hierarchy, proving that what we publish is true. A block on talking to any other group, a ban on a members husband who isn’t white, milking money and being rather sexist. I really want to be there when they implode because there’s nothing funnier than watching the death of a nasty racist right wing group.

So there it is, a racist group, followed by a terrorist, run by felons and bankrolled by a zealot. That is Britain First.

As we hurtle to Christmas the landlady appears to want me to do something called shopping, something a grumpy Landlord never understands so forgive me if this is a bit short.

Toodlepip

EBF has a new blog writer

I’m ‘Fluffy’ and I’ll be joining the rest of the blogging team from now on. I hope you like what I have to say.

fluffy-logoI’m not one for pulling my punches – at least not in writing. I don’t mean throwing actual punches. That’s for scumbags like the Biffers who’ve no other way to get their point across. Actual debate’s beyond them so they intimidate and threaten people instead. When people who really aren’t clever enough for politics try to become a ‘legitimate political party’ they get hostile and make arses of themselves. And there’s no bigger arse than Golding.

So expect me to be a bit arsey back. I can’t help it – it’s in my blood.

I’ve been reading through all the previous blog entries here and I have to say it’s really made an impression. I knew Britain First was a bunch of wankers before but I didn’t know just how bad they were until this weekend. These people really are nasty – with a capital NASTY. If you haven’t already had a good look around the blog make a point of it. Especially look at the PDF downloads. They really do ‘Expose Britain First’.

I’m not going to get into the PDF writing thing myself. It looks like it’d take up a lot more time than I’ve got to play with. I’m planning on doing a sort of commentary on the Bifferati’s antics as stuff comes up. Like Grasser-Golding’s whiney video about Jayda’s court case. That might be my first proper blog. When I saw that I just laughed. He’s like a whiney-arsed kid who can’t handle not getting his own way. Come to think of it that pretty much sums up Britain First anyway. They’re mostly just childish little shits who can’t handle the fact that the rest of us don’t mind brown people.

Golding’s problem is he’s still a child. Fransen’s problem is she chose the wrong movement to back. She could have joined a different movement or cause and done such a lot better for herself. She’s the sort of hard-faced cow who’d rise to the top in loads of different groups. But instead of making a killing starting a fluffy-kitten appreciation club with lots of pictures of me and my furry little friends (imagine the Facebook likes that would attract) she joined the fascists instead. So now she’s bitter and a bit disappointed that she didn’t choose more wisely. Oh well. Never mind Jayda, lass. You’ve made your bed. Now you’ll just have to lie in it. Be careful though – Golding has a medical condition. You might want to look it up. It’s called nocturnal enuresis.

As for all the other Biffer glitterati, they’re hardly worth mentioning (but I will). There’s Lewis the middle-aged loser who sees the Biffers as his last chance to make something of himself. He’s right… it is… and he won’t.

Then there’s Lomax the military ‘expert’ who thinks pot noodles will be ok for field exercises in Wales. What a joke he is! He’ll be next for the political uniform charge, I should think. The arrogant little turd just won’t be able to help himself but wear his black ‘security’ hoodie with its ‘chief of staff’ badge sewn on like a cub scout’s jumper. I’ll have to watch him. He’s going to be too funny to ignore.

Lee Cooper’s keeping his head down. He might be waiting for further instructions from Jimbo about who to talk to next. He seems to be a bit of a go-between fencing deals between the money men and the street thugs. Guess which camp the Biffers fall into. I’ll give you a hint – they’ve no money.

There’s so many names to get familiar with. So many far right fools to take the piss out of. I hardly know where to start.

Most of the senior women have gone – defected to other fash groups before the Britain First legacy destroys them as well. So have most of the regular supporters of both sexes. Every event they hold gets less and less people attending. Even their supportive Facebook comments are nearly all from overseas. There aren’t many Brits left who haven’t seen through them. Even the genuine fash know that the Biffers are only about making themselves rich. That’s why they’ve all gone off to join other far right nationalist groups instead of giving all their spare cash to fund Golding’s and Fransen’s champagne lifestyle.

So I think I came in a bit too late myself. I’d have loved to be writing about the Biffers when they actually looked like they could’ve been something big. Reading back over the blog’s previous posts that looks like it might have been fun. But as Johnny-come-lately I’ll just have to put up with deriding them as they collapse. That’ll be fun too in its own way.

So look out for the moniker: Fluffy. You’ll be hearing more from me in the future.

 

It ain’t over just yet!

It’s been an excruciatingly long couple of days waiting to hear if Fransen would be sent down or not. To quote the ‘persecuted paytryoot’ herself… it’s been very ‘intense’. But now, finally the long wait has come to an end and we have both verdict and sentence.

bf-luton-magistrates-court-fransen-frightened-golding-smugJayda Fransen, Deputy leader of Britain First, neoNazi,  liar, bully, has been convicted on two counts. She was found guilty of wearing political uniform, a charge that both Fransen and Golding are trying to ridicule even though Der Fuhrer recently pleaded guilty to the same offence, thus making it almost impossible for Fransen to be acquitted today. Secondly she’s guilty of religiously aggravated harassment. The British judicial system has acknowledged what we already knew… Jayda Fransen is a vicious bully with nothing but contempt both for the law and for her fellow citizens.

As every reader of this blog will know, I’d have much preferred Fransen to have been sent to prison for her offences but that wasn’t to be. Instead she received a fine, costs and victim surcharge amounting to a total of £1,910 and a restraining order preventing her from harassing the victim for 2 years. Let’s look at these penalties in a little more detail.

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The court may have imposeded a fine, costs and victim surcharge but Fransen’s already raised more than enough fashcash from the Biffers to cover her Uncle Jimbo’s investment.

£1,900 is small potatoes to Fransen. She’s already raised more than that to pay her barrister.  So there’s no harm done there then, Jayda. Your gullible sheeple have already paid your fine for you. Not only that, you’ve enough left over for another jolly to Hungary to help Uncle Jim stir up the neoNazi thugs over there.

When Britain first put out their inevitable appeal for help with Jayda’s fine and costs please bear that in mind. They already have pocketed more than they need in their ‘legal defence’ appeal (unless the good Mr. Guest turned out to be much more expensive than might reasonably be anticipated). Jimbo must be laughing all the way to the bank. His little legal speculation has paid off handsomely with absolutely no financial risk to himself at all.

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Is this video in breach of Fransen’s injunction? We think so.

The 2 year injunction is interesting too. Or rather Fransen and Golding’s response to it is. On the very afternoon that the injunction was put in place the despicable duo made and uploaded a video singling out and verbally abusing both the District Judge and the victim. The first set of comments might reasonably be seen as contempt. The second appear to be a blatant and deliberate breach of the injunction almost before the ink is wet on Fransen’s acquiescing signature. We’re sure that Luton police will want to have a word with the court about that.

In summary then…

Two out of three convictions isn’t bad,

Prison time would have been more to our tastes but those are the breaks,

A freshly broken injunction might well mean that this saga is far from complete.

And, of course – we still have Golding’s return to the High Court for breach of his injunction to look forward to. It looks like the coming season of goodwill might be a bit more festive for team EBF than we’d anticipated.

Ho ho ho!