View from a barstool #44 by Landlord

Beer 2As 2017 comes in and we can at least bid a non-fond farewell to 2016 I was wondering just what this new year had in store for a grumpy, lefty, Muslim apologist landlord. I’ve had a look back at the year just gone, one in which it seems you can bomb the fuck out of somewhere, killing children, and a year that seems to justify fascism.

In Syria bombs continue to rain down on Aleppo, killing indiscriminately. Now I have an admission to make… I’m not particularly up on who’s doing what, where over there. I just can’t stand the fact that a whole bunch of innocent people are being killed by the west, Russia, their own government, Daesh and lack of food. The Biffer trolls’ favourite saying is “they should stay and fight” but fight whom, with what? Should they shoot the odd (not so) smart bomb with catapults?

Brexit has seemed to galvanise the right into thinking bigotry and abuse of anyone slightly off white is acceptable. Twitter and Facebook is awash with so-called celebrities writing statements that over a year ago would have seen them hauled over the coals. It seems that it’s ok to go up to foreign looking chappies and chappesses and tell them to “Fuck off home” even though their home is here. It seems ok to invade places of worship because their god is different to yours. It seems ok to racially abuse people in the street, all because a non-binding referendum seemed to say we hate foreigners.

Brexit send them back T shirt   Walsall halal butcher arson petrol bomb brexit

Well Katie Fucking Hopkins you failed at business, you failed at being a celebrity and you will fail at your pathetic attempts to shock. You see we laugh at you. I don’t care how you voted, as long as the reason wasn’t racial.

2016 also saw the deaths of many celebrities. Now call me a grumpy cuntspangle but I don’t see anyone as better than us, my television is limited to Sky Sports and peppa pig. I’m also someone who as a bar manager at Thorpe Park barred Katy Jordan (or something) as I really didn’t “know who I am” when she screamed at me. However during my formative years I did listen to a lot of Status Quo, a bit of Bowie, read a lot of Richard Adams and loved Star Wars so I am sorry they lost their lives. I also say RIP to all those who lost their lives in senseless wars, so called terrorist attacks or anything else.

The Americans have also managed to get the rest of the world united in a collective facepalm as they voted in a racist buffoon who is both financially and morally bankrupt. Us ‘lefteyes’ better run for cover… fuckwit is coming to town.

And now my favourite part of 2016, the beginning of the end of Bifferdom. They crave publicity and money. They want to be a “legitimate” political party who make all others quake in their boots. They want to outlaw a religion, not as they tell it but because it makes them money. What sort of year have they had? Well it’s been brilliant.


They’ve got a new camera, Screechy appears to have increased by a cupsize or two, Goldibollocks and Stevie’s waistline seems to have expanded. The two leaders have criminal records, Goldibollocks being interned at her majesty’s pleasure for ignoring a High court injunction and Screechy for bullying a young Muslim lady. They failed to make any inroads in politics. Screechy, Goldibollocks and his mum/family failed even to make a blip on the BBC’S colour chart in the mayoral election. Their conferences and road shows were supported by the same 20 followers, despite having twelvty million likes on Facebook. So the Biffers were a failure too.

As I look now to 2017 what can I expect. Well probably more of the same. Although teetering on the edge of annihilation whilst there is still money to con, the Biffer High command will continue to talk bollocks and fail in almost everything they do. Hopkins will continue to talk shit and no one will listen. Trump will bankrupt the US and the West will continue senseless bombing of countries that might have oil, or pipelines owned in part by media moguls.


But there is something I saw over the recent festivities, a coming together of all faiths (and none) sticking the proverbial two fingers up at Trump, Fartage, Daesh, Bifferdom, Hopkins et al. The left, centre and centre right all beginning, to use a movie quote to “be excellent to each other”. You see we, the normal non-bigoted people are fed up of all this cuntwaffle from the Nazi far right and have had just as much as we can take.

So I’m not giving up smoking, drinking or meat. My resolution is to be excellent to all. Apart from Biffers they can fuck off.


Is Sadiq Khan about to sue? Golding seems to think so

We love Moley. Quite apart from the courage it takes to do what s/he does the information that Moley provides can be really ‘juicy’. And this time s/he’s really pushed the boat out.

The more astute amongst you may have noticed that several of the Britain First memes accusing Khan of being a terrorist have been removed from BF’s social media. That’s because Der Fuhrer seems to have got the wind up again. According to our sources within Biffer Central, Golding’s all but convinced that Sadiq Khan (Human Rights lawyer and genuinely aggrieved victim of Biffer defamation) is about to sue him. That’d be an interesting contest to watch. Experienced human rights lawyer versus Fransen’s legal ‘background’. Team EBF alone would fill the public gallery to witness such fun.

We don’t know if there’s any truth in it or whether Paulie’s just being paranoid again (he often gets paranoid, apparently). We do know that Der Fuhrer’s large yellow streak is showing once again.

Golding turns yellow streaked back on Sadiq Khan election result london mayor

Perhaps if he hadn’t been such a child when the results were announced he might have some way to save face. But whether Khan chooses to crush Golding or not, there’s no way for Der Fuhrer to keep his dignity any more.

Oh dear, how sad, never mind!

View from a barstool 24

Beer 2I’ve finally been freed from the EBF stationery cupboard if I agreed to watch all of Goldibollocks London Mayoral campaign videos and read all the daily Email’s/begging letters coming from said mayor/emperor/High priest/Prime Minister/Dictator (delete as appropriate) and after doing this I have this to report..’


So Goldilocks, Screechy and a whole host of biffers are after the London vote using the “voice” they have been given by the media to put out a joke party political broadcast, and issue some tatty election pamphlets along with their equivalent of the Sun newspaper (both equally discredited and hated amongst the majority of this fine country). In it they tell us how they will get Britain out of the EU and stop immigration, amongst others, both of which the London Mayor and assembly have no say on whatsoever. They seem to be libelling, slandering and being downright racist to the bookies favourite who treats them like something you pick up of the bottom of your shoe after an errant dog owner left it on the pavement. He also once again takes an ex-soldier and uses him in his nasty propaganda. Again this is against the wishes of his family and again the biffer lie that there is no memorial to him. There is. It’s what the family wanted, where the family wanted it to be. Once again we won’t name him as the last thing his relatives want is for him him to become the battlefield in a political ‘tug of war’.

A day out in Bexley Heath handing out faaasands of leaflets was videoed and photographed. Nothing about this leads me to believe that anyone wants anything to do with Goldibollocks and his tawdry little party. They have already had both barrels from the written media describing the campaign as a car crash.

BF Christine Smith election broadcast London Mayor May 2016

The radio broadcast they were permitted was a 30 second recording, the TV broadcast 5 minutes of absolute comedy and still they aren’t happy. We’ve seen the full version of the broadcast Goldibollocks wanted and no wonder the Beeb and ITV told them no. Usually after a broadcast a party’s showing in the polls jumps, this time it didn’t. I checked Comres before and a couple of days later (you need to do something while perched on the loo). The votes for Goldibollocks for London Mayor stayed at 1% and the seats in the assembly, where in my view they were really putting their faith,a big fat zero.

So then to the daily begging bowl, sorry Emails, to their supporters asking them to “chip in” to raise the £20 faaaasand needed to reach even more Londoners with their bullshit and lies. With just (as I write) 8 days to go even if they meet the target it will be too late. It seems to us here that a good holiday will be in order after the campaign and spending money for Screechy’s addiction will be getting a boost from the gullible disciples.
So here’s a thing Goldibollocks and Screechy, Pieman Steve, Chief of Staff Lomax, Sargeant, and the rest of your high command, here’s some advice from a Landlord who used to live and work in London. I’ll even give it to you for free, although the team could do with some hobnobs (the coffers are bare and Sainsbury’s own just don’t taste the same)

1) if you really want to become mayor and Screechy a member of the assembly, don’t fuck off around half of the London electorate with racism and lies. In one of the most diverse and multi cultural cities in the world the voters won’t really like it..

2) When a family of a murdered man asks you not to use his memory to further your racist, islamaphobic aims, don’t. It pisses a lot of people off and a lot of these pissed off people will be voters.

3) when slagging off the favourite for the Mayoral job (Not you Goldibollocks, not you) don’t use his religion against him or at least if you do get your facts right. Whether a bloke is Muslim, Christian, Athiest, Hindu or whatever, fight him on his policies. Oh scratch this one, you haven’t got any policies that affect Londoners just the same old shit that you purvey on your Social Media page.

EBF Racist election address Sadiq Khan mayoral election May 2016 conservative 1964

4) when you lose, when Screechy loses, when your family loses and you all lose your deposits, blame the media, the establishment, the people that don’t fall for your cack and us (and other pages like us) fuck off, pack up your bollocks and close up. It is a show that this is Britain, a Britain that I want to live in, with Naz Hussain next door to me and George Shah just down the road, with the little old lady at number 21 who Naz helps with her garden, with Jeff, one of my locals, from Trinidad, who loves talking to me about my love of Cricket and warm beer, with Steve the local white Van man who hates life but loves all the mates at the pub and finally with the followers of Exposing Britain first who see through your lies at every turn.

This is my advice to you, this is my wish. That after you lose and are humiliated at the elections you go away and leave the sensible silent majority alone. I may even be minded to “chip in” to help.


Politicians who don’t understand politics

According to The Guardian, Donald trump has messed up in the American ‘primaries’ because he doesn’t understand the electoral system – and apparently nobody could be bothered to tell him. He’s managed to get a lot of people to like him on social media and he’s had a lot turning up to rallies but when it can to the crunch he didn’t tell them to vote for the representatives who would vote for him in the next stage.

Donald trump unhappy

Of course his reaction is predictable. He blames a corrupt electoral system when really the problem is his own stupidity. He doesn’t understand the system and is too arrogant to ask.

We know someone else like that. Well, apart from the lots of people turning up to rallies part!

EBF BF Golding Biffers London mayor election 2016 montage


A view from the cellar 8

Landlord in cellarOnce again apologies for my lack of blog over the weekend, the family are away and a weeks bachelorhood has caught up with me.

Apologies are due as well to the biffers, we never thought they’d do it but they have, Goldibollocks has reached the required funds for the mayoral campaign, and his family and Screechy have made it onto the list as candidates for the London Assembly. So now the hard work begins for us…hassle and expose them at every turn. The great thing is they will be going head to head with skilled debaters, career politicians and interviewers who won’t take the blatant lies they come out with (if they get interviewed at all.) The Fuhrer-bunker seems to think that their brand of islamaphobic tosh will be lapped up by white Londoners all over the capital.

Here’s my take on a possible interview with Jezza Paxman…

  1. JP. Welcome to Paul Goldibollocks and Screechy Fransen who have become leading contenders in the race for mayor and London assembly.
  2. GS. Thanks Jeremy, Can I just say that there will be no more mosques in London and the current ones pulled down so we can build more churches.
  3. JP. Thanks for that. I need to ask what you will do with the £17 billion budget that you will have once you take up the role.
  4. GS. We will make sure that Greggs are on every corner of every street, our mate Stevey Lewis then can walk about with our shittroopers making sure that anyone wearing a burka will be made to change into revealing get up. Then we will build a wall round London, kick the immigrants out and keep London for the white English.
  5. JP. Controversial stuff, what about policing, health care, social housing, lighting and all the other things that are needed.
  6. GS. Well there will be no need for police as when all the immigrants go there will be no crime, my private security team will make sure of that. Health care will be fine as the muzzies will no longer take up any time, lighting is no problem as the sun shines out of screechys arse. We’ll have around 16 billion to spend on Screechy’s tits and holidays. Also we can repay Uncle Jim.
  7. JP. So Screechy what about you what are your first few days in office going to be like?
  8. No more mosques, ban the burka, god is great, prayers for everyone, bloody muzzies?
  9. JP. So what about the…..
  10. GS. Stop bullying us, we’ve told you with no muzzies, no burkas and no mosques and all will be sweet.
  11. JP. but….
  12. GS. Typical lefty journalism, appeasers and bias against us.
  13. JP. Surely you can tell us..
  14. GS. I’ve told you before I’m telling you again, my security team are just getting the nooses ready now, all the problems in London are muzzies.

EBF BF Paxo golding paxman.png

We’ve looked everywhere but can’t see how the very fuck they are going to be able to talk about anything other than their disgusting “keeping Britain British”  mantra. They will have no answer to the established parties asking them proper questions about the budget, yet they see this as a chance to go into the mainstream of British Politics. Somehow they think that a million or so likes on Facebook equates to large swathes of support on the ground. I’m hoping that when they get hardly any support they’ll realise that all they are is media junkies, no better than those who go on the Jeremy Kyle show or try out on the Xfactor pop Idol thingy. Goldy and Screechy, no one listens to you, no one wants you, and London certainly doesn’t deserve your publications or papers.

Tommy Robinson smirkThe far right came out to play again at the weekend, firstly in Dover under the guise of supporting our truckers. The casuals that were there barely managed to get 50 people on the ground to march along the seafront. They were countered by around 800-1000 antifa. The local Tory bloke wasn’t happy and seemed to slam the ‘lefteyes’ for blocking the road to stop the fash..needless to say the twatter lines slammed him. Secondly, our mate Tommy was back with his new breed of racism in Birmingham with Pegida. A staggering 30 people turned up for a stroll round a deserted industrial estate despite the boast that this march would attract 10000. He wants another go and now will take his brand of bollocks to Rotherham.

Pie and Mash, they who left the EDL for being too nice, want to go to back to Dover at the end of the month, a move that can only mean one thing, a drunken brawl.

So once again, although the headlines are all about a triumphant move for mayor, the far right can’t get anyone out to support them.

Now I think I better toddle off and do a weeks washing up before the Landlady comes home.

View from a barstool 23

Beer 2A video free week! The guys let me off with nothing more than a ticking off for not treating EBF towers with respect. Three boxes of monkey nuts strewn across the floor made sure of that. Fortunately no one yet has managed to work out how the vacuum works (we’re good at memes, computers, investigations and trolls but seem to have a complete brain fuzz when it comes to anything else) so if the guys need me or if they get the bloody thing working I’ll make my way back to the office for another penance.

I don’t know whether I’m suffering a disorder from being forced to watch Screechy on the videos last week but I am starting to believe them on one thing. They do appear to be putting effort into the London Mayoral election. Letters from the Electoral commission seem to confirm they are going ahead with it, telling them that the three slogans they wanted to use were inappropriate. Cue predictable indignation and muslims blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzz. They seem to think that the free mailshot, and the TV exposure is worth the money they are going to spend. Well make that American, Australian and the few knuckledraggers left that actually believe them in this country’s money.

EBF BF London mayor commentsScreechy needs her fix. Indeed, one of the leaders of the EDL calls them “money first” which shows the rift flowing through the right-wing cockwombles and the various groups. But I digress. Goldibollocks and his puppetmaster seem to think that he will run rings round career politicians on the TV debates, and the hustings, something that I can’t wait for him to try. I’ll be laughing my face off! He only has two calls to make… Muslims and lefteye traytors!!!

EDL Paul Locke BF money first Mayor London Sadiq KhanHe thinks that he can bring his brand of subtle racism (‘subtle’? That bloody video has affected me) and blatant islamaphobia to probably the most diverse, multicultural and liberal of capital cities in Europe. The people of London will probably treat Britain First as more of a joke than the Monster Raving Looney party. (with which Screechy has previous experience). I can see them making a grand entrance into the count (probably wherever Saddiq Khan is) and making thorough tits of themselves as they and their shittroopers shout slogans and generally show themselves for the fuckwits they are.

Screechy went on the rampage in London once again, looking like a drug crazed harridan and certainly making fun of her assertion that she is under house arrest, she confronted the extremist hate preacher Anjem Choudary. Now don’t get me wrong, Choudary is an extremist and he is someone that to a man here at EBF we dislike immensly and would like to see brought in front of a judge and jailed……oh thats right he is going to be although his mates at Britain First have probably given him a monopoly card and I doubt it’s collect £200. Britain Firsts, and Screechy’s behaviour to this vile man is nothing more than incitement.

Jayda Fransen Anjem Choudhary BF propoganda video.png

Calling him coward is rich when his bail conditions state he is to have nothing to do with Britain First, talk about his case or appear on social media. But this is not good enough for good ol’ Screechy. Claiming a victory for Britain, she told us that he is a coward when faced with her and her cronies. Now knowing who goes around with Screechy wherever she goes, I would assume that Anjem saw six or seven knuckledraggers, a possibly high Screechy, a camera and thought that fucking off and closing his door would be the best policy. Then getting onto his phone to his legal team and laughing all the way to another month of waiting. Britain First pulled this stunt the day before his last court appearance and once again did the same. If they have somehow undermined this chance of Choudary being tried I think there will be an uproar.

As they were strangely quiet last weekend we’ve got a new game here at the office, guessing where will the wankpuffins turn up this week and where will their new Fuhrer bunker be? As we were all wrong this week the prize of a packet of hobnobs (remember the flooded out warehouse) will be doubled. All you have to do to enter is send us a virtual 5 faaaaasand paaaands and you will be entered.


Thats it for this week must go and see what the rugby fans have done to my stocks and take the Landlady out for a riproaring curry.


A view from a barstool 20

Beer 2The divorce papers are in!!!!!!! (not really but almost). Finally this week the Biffers have done what years of being a grumpy bastard haven’t. I have been literally pissing myself laughing since the news came in of the arrest, bail conditions and now the magistrates appeal. In fact this blog is going to be exceedingly difficult to write anywhere on the licensed property as my laughs are so loud I’m surprised that the locals haven’t called in specialised help for me.

So was I just dreaming, will I wake up and find the Landlady next to me watching an edition of the Bill on Gold, Juliet Bravo (for our older readers) or even Keystone Cops, I find that nothing of this really happened. No, it was real and the way it was done really has made my week. It appears that the net is well and truly closing in on the shenanigans and vile antics of Screechy and Goldibollocks.

On Saturday, Britain First and their band of ‘patriots’ leafleted and shouted in Bradford. From videos, pictures and accounts it really didn’t go very well. They even shouted and intimidated three Muslim women who were collecting for the Heart Foundation.
This appears to be forgotten by them but our perfectly placed mole let us know.

The intimidation got worse as they tried their hand at a Mosque demonstration. That didn’t go down too well with the locals. I’ve never advocated violence and I never will but the level of intimidation and of the vile screeches was such that the population of Bradford finally snapped and chased (quite literally) the fash out of Dodge. A damaged rear window and a couple of cuts later along with two arrests were enough for that day.

As we at EBF towers digested the report of Bradford and then read the disgraceful comments on a report of the day by the MP Naz Shah, Twitter and Facebook messages started to bleep onto our screens  Bedfordshire Police had issued a request for Screechy and Goldibollocks to hand themselves in and be questioned over the wearing of political uniforms, something Goldibollocks knows all about.

Then the video emerges, the biffers had lied. They weren’t to be arrested, they were to be questioned under caution. This wasn’t good enough for Goldibollocks. Oh no, he insisted they were arrested and they duly were. Goldibollocks even had the forethought to turn up wearing his uniform.

They were duly led away and then we were treated to the bail conditions. Luton is out of bounds and report to Kent Constabulary every Saturday (along with sleeping every night at their home address). Draconion????? No, not in my mind.

EBF BF Jayda Golding glum medway magistrates court February 2016In all the time I have followed these two cockwombles at last the people who dislike Islamic extremists are being seen for what they are….extremists. See the EBFblogger for her thoughts.

The usual begging missive followed, saying they would fight this if they got enough money and then came the office discussion. Some of us thought that they would get away with it totally, given that Goldibollocks is a grass and protected by the powers that be. Others thought that the signing on in Kent would be lifted and they would somehow produce another victory video. I don’t think one of us ever thought the result would be that the CPS, magistrates and police have finally had enough of being laughed at by the biffers and all conditions would be upheld. Goldy and Screechy will be effectively silenced until another £6 faaasand is reached to go to high court.

Cue much outrage and disbelief and watch other Constabularies and Councils across the country do the same. Could this now be the time that Britain First starts to implode? Watch this space.

After the laughter came the anger and disgust. I’m sure you have all by now seen the comments from the biffer sheep regarding the drone picture of Auchwitz. These absolute wankstains have finally shown their true colours. Thanks to one and all you have made this go viral and more people than before have been reached to show the real followers of the biffers and what they think. This is why we do what we do and the quicker we can get rid of them the better.


Finally, if I can say a final goodbye to Hulk and Tankgirl who left the team for pastures new and have set up their own page. Good luck guys, I’ll miss our gingernut throwing fights in the office before Prole and Kit get in.