A view from an uncomfortable barstool by Landlord

Not really in the mood for writing but then again why not? Every other expert, right wing fuckwit and doom merchant has so why not a slightly left wing grumpy old sod giving his and the views of his regulars on the events of Wednesday.

Firstly I think back to 9\11 and the glee on the faces of a few in the middle East as they burnt the Stars and Stripes and then I look at the vitriol from the right wing over the last couple of days and see exactly the same pleasure. The media speculate on everything making out not the gravity of the situation but trying to scare the shit out of us. To me that’s as dangerous than the murderer who carried out the attack.

EBF London attack Theresa MayRead any Facebook or Twitter feed and I see one of three sets of people, firstly those who say told you so Screechy, Goldibollocks, Robinson and others on the far right. Secondly there are those who are genuinely frightened and see the press and the rabid right pushing them to believe the bullshit that they peddle and are ready to let this already right wing government to erode more of our basic rights and finally there’s us.

EBF London attack 2We feel the pain caused, we feel the hurt caused but we can also see where this is going. Trump now feels his Muslim ban is justified, May can get away with more swingeing erosion of our rights and all in the name of safety. The Muslim Council of Great Britain once again feel the need to issue a statement saying it’s not in our name, which is paid lip service by the media and disregarded by the far right, but what can they do anymore than they do now?

So what do we know? Well someone for an unknown reason drove a car along Westminster bridge swerved and killed some tourists, then continued and crashed into a fence by the Houses of Parliament got out, stabbed a policeman and was shot. That’s it, no more no less, the rest is just conjecture and speculation, experts come on and talk endlessly about what the security forces MAY be doing. Reporters report what other reporters are reporting, Tommy Robinson gets on a train to London and tries to run around talking to anyone who’s listening, Screechy and Goldibollocks release video’s in which you can almost hear the sound of kerching in the background. But all we really know is from the police who release carefully worded statements so as not to fuel the hysteria but fail miserably as more and more experts and commentators add bits.

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I’m horrified by the events of Wednesday but I and many others stay realistic. This was a murderer doing something that is abhorrent, not in the name of a religion or ideology but because of a warped sense of view. Last year another murderer killed Jo Cox shouting “Britain First” I didn’t see a video of Screechy and Goldibollocks calling for all fascists to be deported and churches to be pulled down, I didn’t see a five minute interview of Paul Nuttall spouting shit, I didn’t see Tommy Robinson prostituting his gob to anyone who may listen, I didn’t see an erosion of our rights but I do now.

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I’m not a great lover of the police but I do however think they know what they are doing, I think they know a lot more than they are telling us but they and they alone will let us know over the coming days and weeks and this is the only information I will believe.

Finally all the admins on this page would like to pass on our condolences to the victims of this murderer, people who went out to enjoy the sights of our beautiful city, or was guarding the houses of parliament and will not be going home.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #46

Another week where those in Bifferdom have finally cracked and sending more clickbait with than the PPI companies do on Facebook. “Share if you like fluffy unicorns but only if they’re British, share if you love British Castles and so on and on and on zzzzzzzzz. Are they running out of money to buy likes? Then they come out with a picture of an antelope called a dik dik (not Lomax and Lewis in their security garb) found in southern Africa and asked us to share if we love British wildlife. Spectacular own goal chaps……

This week we celebrated International Womens Day and Screechy published a picture of her holding a Qur’an and telling us about the way women are treated as second class citizens etc etc etc. Any chance of Muslim bashing hey Screech! Now I’m not a follower of any religion (or fashion) nor have I read the Qur’an, the Bible or Tanakh or Enid Blyton’s Famous five ( I was much more a Secret Seven man) but even a rudimentary check on Google and you find something pretty demeaning to women in all of them. Again interpretation is the name of the game, which Screechy plays very well.

EBF Twitter Jayda Fransen Chris York Huffington Post interview offerWe hear that Screechy and Goldibollocks don’t run from anything or anyone, the typical media whores that crave coverage wherever they can get it. Screechy published a story about two street preachers being arrested on Twitter, one of this page’s friends, Chris York from the Huffington Post tweeted back and asked her and Goldibollocks for an interview, just the three of them, anywhere they wanted, with a chance to get their point across and answer a few questions. The reply, bluster and deflection. In publican terms brave patriots Goldibollocks and Screechy ran away. So Screechy you know how to get in touch with Chris, I would guess the offer still stands!

As I have written before, with the world lurching horribly to the right and the policies put in place, racist attacks have increased. This is no surprise to us here and at TellMama and far right and neo Nazi arrests have doubled. No doubt biffer towers will put out a release telling anyone left who gives a shit on their page that this is lefty journalism and establishment propaganda. This in fact was in the Telegraph. The far right are emboldened by recent political moves and they feel it’s their right now to attack the defenceless, the majority aimed against Muslims as the rhetoric from world leaders want to beat them into the ground. Well this won’t do, we need to fight for our friends and neighbours now more than at any other time. A biffer favourite is about Creeping Sharia and halal slaughter of which it is abundantly clear they know fuck all about.

Another of our favourite fuckwits, Katie Hopkins just got sued for defamation, I’m hoping this will lead to more people calling her up on her hatred and lies. She is one of the islamaphobic cheerleaders either because she knows it winds more people up, more exposure, more noteriety, more money or it’s because she is a racist fucknugget and thinks a right wing revolution is happening and she’s the one to lead it.

Finally it’s coming up to Easter… cue general biffer frothing about the chocolate eggs from various companies not having Easter emblazoned on them in huge letters. A few things for Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of the right wing shittroopers to take note. Firstly, it’s a chocolate fucking egg…I have 5 kids who couldn’t give a toss whether it’s called Easter, summer, pagan or whatever. It’s a chocolate egg which is eaten as quickly as possible. Secondly, Easter is still on the packaging it isn’t Muslim appeasement it’s sensible marketing. Thirdly and someone may put me right but in my limited knowledge of the Bible I never knew there was a big fuck off chocolate egg with a toy or chocolate in the middle. But every year, just like Christmas, St. George’s day, Remembrance day and on and on and on and zzzzzzzzz the far right say our Christian identities are being taken away. And like everything else they say – it’s all a load of bollocks.

Well that’s it for this week, the biffers going bonkers, the fascists being locked up, a hated columnist guilty and having to pay and the frothing sheep having a go at Cadburys. All in all a fucked up time to be a follower in bifferdom.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #45 by Landlord

Beer 2Firstly an apology, I meant to try and write a a weekly roundup of all things biffer but real life really kept getting in the way, I really wish we were getting paid to run the page as our accusers like to say!!! In between running a busy business, trying to sympathise and help my Danish barmaid and French chef over their fears of Brexit and what it may mean to them and catching up with my family and antifa landlords I’ve let matters EBF go by a little. But like Goldibollocks, I’m back.

The fascists, although our lovely, mainly bigoted media, dress them up as alt-right, seem to have been emboldened by the new political landscape, from Brexit to Trump, from an unelected horrid PM to Geert Wilders and Marie Or Pen. The fash in the US and over here have taken that as open season on Muslims and couldn’t give two shits how they do it. Over here the EDL and the Biffers continue to use their own fake news and downright lies from the gruesome twosome the Mail and Express to whip up anti Muslim sentiment, and the other far right groups in this country have taken Brexit to mean the right have taken our country back literally and have been intimidating anyone who isn’t British.

In America Trump has used a Muslim Ban to stop Muslims from seven countries entering the US despite their not being any evidence of terrorism from these countries. Could it be that the countries that aren’t banned from entering have been vetted or that POTUS has business dealings there.

In fact, the rallying call from Trump, our PM, Goldibollocks, Screechy et al is “make our countries great again.

As a slightly left leaning, normal bloke working hard to give his family vacation good life this all scares the fuck out of me. As a regular in my pub said yesterday “all it needs is goostepping down the mall and what I fought against in the war all goes to pot.”

But should it scare us, bits and pieces over the last couple of months give us hope that the world is not going to be totally fucked and a revolution, although not armed, is starting. From centrist Tories leftwards the people have had enough and they are showing it.

From the women’s march across the world, the #resistance in the US, marchers for Europe, the NHS and against disability rights we are fighting back.

Enough of world politics and now back to all thing biffers. Well they had a march, or a carpark shuffle as we like to call it. Estimated attendance was 50 (antifa) 90 (local press) or twelvty million (high command). Once again it was against Muslim Grooming gangs and once again no biffers really give a shit about CSE unless they can beat Muslims with it. Let me put all the troll’s out there right, the exploitation and sexual abuse is wrong, whatever the colour, religion or sex of the perpetrators. It is not a Muslim problem it is a worldwide issue.
Anyway the biffers had their walk, no uniforms I noted(not that they were scared or anything) but security looking like cuntspangles in jackboots and army fatigues looking every bit a paramilitary organisation of Walts. The main speaker who Screechy had told us was a friend from Poland was coming over to address his new flock. He was probably happy he got refused entry as the biffers probably weren’t racist enough for him. Yes you read it right, refused entry to this country over fears that he could invite racial tensions. Screechy put out a tearful video telling us that it was the establishment again, stopping someone coming into the country to talk to a fascist organisation. Now I don’t know about you but isn’t that slightly double standards Screechy, don’t you want the Border Agency to stop hate preachers from coming into this country.

Finally I love this page, it’s an honour to be an admin on it, eating hobnobs and using the office Tassimo machine whilst picking out articles to post, seeing the memes being produced and the work that goes into debunking all that comes from biffer towers. I love the people that follow the page, that pass on articles, information and funnies. I even love the troll’s who are ripped apart when they pop up from time to time. Occasionally there are times we get it wrong, times we insult Screechy or Goldibollocks and the rest of the shittroopers. This we will never stop, because we can’t stop fighting them. If we do the sound of jackboots goose-stepping up the mall will happen.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #43 by Landlord

christmas-beerI have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.

Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

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Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.

bf-ebf-fransen-golding-luton-courtWhilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.

On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.

Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

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I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,

“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”

To which one of our regulars wrote

“Hmmm, like Choudary.”

So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.

One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.

But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #42 by Landlord

Beer 2Pahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. They say something’s are constant in the world, like drinking to much over the festivities, the Queens speech, Nigel Fartage spouting crap and now the biffers latest begging bowl email which has me reaching for the Tena Man.
It seems to me they’ve been told by Uncle Jim’s travel agent that the cost of their Christmas holiday has increased due to their beloved Brexit. Maybe their disciples haven’t bunged enough money their way for a free management computer system and an overpriced camera.  So they fall back on old faithful and come up with an old favourite, not for Goldibollocks’ court case, it’s almost a dead cert he’ll play a blinder and plead guilty, but because the government MAY want to proscribe them and they have to have the cash just in case, Guvnor.
Now forgive a grumpy cynical Landlord but fuck off biffers! I know we here in EBF land, or ‘sanity’ as I call it, laugh at your pathetic attempts at marches, your lack of support at your days of (in)action and your tacky, racist shares from fake right wing media outlets. We snigger at your assertion that you are a legitimate political party sending shockwaves through the political elite despite your current councillors, MP’s and MEP’s totalling a big fat zero. We all know you’re a party who is laughed at in the main stream media so please don’t insult our intelligence in the same way you insult the intelligence of your followers.
theresa-may-8The government won’t proscribe you, however unfortunate that may be. They find you as irritating as dog shit on the bottom of their shoe but they really don’t see any need to take you seriously. The right wing groups they will go after are the ones that are really dedicated to violence and want to cause deaths. They’ll go after alliancess like National Action and a few of The infidel groups., not your mob of conmen Walt’s and foreign supporters. You can just about muster enough followers to take over my front room let alone anything else.
How your supporters still manage to accept everything you say is beyond me. Have your muslamic ray guns been set to stupid? The bacofoil you send out must have hallucinogenic drugs in it. From comments we’ve been sent by Moley from ex members of your high command they’ve admitted that it’s all about the money and very little else. There again a significant percentage of your support does come from the US of A and they voted in a conman too so nuff said. To close you down would be simple, send trading standards and the taxman round and you’d be gone without the government making matyrs out of you.
I see our ‘favourite’, please read that as ‘cuntspangle‘, racist has had his sentence increased, this time for racial harassment of a MP. When we in the office read the judge’s summing up we all looked at each other and wished the judge had been sitting at Screechy’s trial. I think she would have been well and truly fucked.
joshua-bonehill-aine-guilty-harrassing-mpFinally the rise of the far right seems to have been checked for now, Hofer in Austria lost, citing Fartage as the problem, Geert Wilders found guilty in Holland but surprisingly not sentenced to anything (musht have been thosh shpeshel shiggerettes) and Uncle Jim and his pet racist, Griffin trying to fight KTI’s corner so badly that even Hitler’s mouthpiece The Daily Fail had a go at them.
All in all then a weird week. The wife has realised my mirth is to do with the biffers. Their desperation is showing signs of trying to fleece as much as they can before flouncing off to Hungary. Bonehill is banged up for longer and will have some stringent conditions if he comes out, Goldibollocks is going down, Fartage is fucking off because he’s poor and my Christmas ale has arrived this year in time for Christmas. Have a good week.
Toodlepip
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A view from a barstool #41 by Landlord

Beer 2Another week where the wife thinks I’m running off to Barbados with our barmaid as right wing hilarity reigns supreme. An even more right wing idiot takes over at UKRAP, the man in charge of Brexit says Britain will pay to be part of the single market even though the whole idea of leaving was to send no more money. There was another begging letter from our favourite wankpuffins, new policies have emerged from the same spunktrumpets and the biffers’ favourite ‘fair-minded’ news output lost one of it major backer’s. I really must read and listen to the right wing shenanigans whilst said barmaid is off.
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So to sum up the biffers week… There was a day of inaction in Nuneaton where, according to Screechy loads of locals turned up to support them although this was not borne out in fact or by empirical evidence. Even their own tired old video, with patriotic music and Screechy commentating showed a complete lack of interest. It showed the same old activists turning up to give out leaflets about some crap or other and trying to force their toilet paper on bemused Christmas shoppers. We at EBF felt for the activists so much we were thinking of having a whip round to buy them a few cardboard cutouts so they in turn could go and get some shopping done.
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There seems to be a deafening silence and lack of action outside the FA over the latest cases of child abuse. All here are sickened by any abuse from whatever race or religion, but the deafening silence from over at biffer high command just shows them for the hypocrites they are.
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I noticed they have a roadshow in the southeast, in Rotherhithe to be exact. The Lefty Landlord mafia don’t hold much truck over there leading me to believe it’s a hive of right wing activity and therefore  we can’t try to harass and cajole venues to kick them out. I believe 107 people have expressed an interest in going but I think after Screechy and her “security” turn up the number will be closer to that of which my 4 year old daughter can count up to comfortably. I could be wrong but I won’t be too far out.
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Whilst our erstwhile patriots are there they can partake in a buffet, a social afterwards and listen to Screechy talk shit about her favourite subject. Oh yes, and there is one other thing… This great, legitimate political party, you know the one with no MP’s no MEP’s, councillors or any other elected officials, is going to discuss their policies. Well I say policies – more like a racist diatribe that basically means any lefteyes, or Tories (leftwards according to them) will be rated as traitors and not tolerated in bifferdom. I won’t go through them all as the barmaid has returned but here’s a few of their unbudgeted, racist bollocks.
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Disbar followers of the Islamic ideology from holding public office, anyone found to be promoting the ideology of Islam to be deported or imprisoned.
Remove the right of choice for females.
Replace the present multi faith educational system with a predominant focus on Christianity and so on.
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Racist cuntwaffle is how I see it, reminiscent of policies see in 1930’s Germany.
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NEW YORK, NY – JUNE 25: A general view of atmosphere during the Kellogg’s Recharge Bar on June 25, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

The final part of their policies lead me quite nicely on to Brietbart losing Kellogg’s as a sponsor and advertiser citing that Kellogg’s do not stand for the right wing mantra spewed by Brietbart. In reply to that Brietbart instead of talking to Kellogg’s chucked their toys out of the pram. I urge all of you to buy Kellogg’s products or at least leave a review on their pages. Brietbart if you are not aware are one of the biffers favourite news  sources and certainly fly very close to lying about Islam and anything slightly liberal. Which, in the case of biffers and their final policy, making it a crime to publish lies in the media will be totally laughable as any of their sources can be picked apart pretty rapidly to leave the prisons full of hacks.

Well that’s it in a nutshell. Laughable, stupid, dangerous, hypocritical and full of shit. That is how I see the biffers. Now I must take my leave I’ve been instructed by the landlady it’s time to decorate the pub and make it all christmassy. I don’t agree, but that’s because I’m a grumpy bugger not because I’m anti Christmas. Also my Muslim mate has agreed to help so there is no issue there.
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Toodlepip
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View from a barstool #40 by Landlord

Beer 2A couple of weeks away and all hell has broken loose with right wing shenanigans. The hairpiece is going to be the most hated, powerful man on this planet, Thomas Mair is convicted of Jo Cox’s assassination with right wing undertones with pictures showing him on a day of activism with the biffers, Goldibollocks standing down to take time out(hopefully) at her majesty’s pleasure and a convicted felon taking over in our Screechy. And now proof that all is not well in bifferdom.

In my own world of cyberspace my American friends are unable to take in the way their country has voted. Admittedly they were sceptical of Hillary Clinton who is as trustworthy as the biffers but for their fellow countrymen to vote in a sexist, racist, bankrupt twat is enough to have them crying into their Buds. Some say that this just proves that the Americans are crazy but I personally feel that it is more sinister as more and more countries are seeing surges in support for the far right. Some have even dressed it up as ‘alt-right’ but I’ll call it how I see it, ‘deep rooted racism’.

Possibly Tommy Mair Dewsbury BF demoThe assassin known as Thomas Mair was convicted this week and as a white man I apologise for his terrorism. As the racists keep asking normal Muslims to apologise for Daesh I will get in first. Whether or not when he shouted “Britain First” he meant it as a battle cry or as a tribute to his favourite racists no one can be sure but the deafening silence from biffer towers and the pictures of him at one of their wanky days out prove it to me. The Nazi paraphernalia found shows that once again a line white terrorist is as bad as the Daesh ones.

So Goldibollocks has stood down, temporarily at least to spend more time with his family. That is laughable to say the least as his family now accompany him to all his roadshows to help swell the numbers to double figures. The fact that the blind disciples don’t see is that the jail time Goldibollocks is hopefully going to get just so happens to be 6 months…….a coincidence, a conspiracy theory or some time in Uncle Jim’s racist enclave. Whatever it may be we here at EBF towers and the majority of our followers will be giggling at his predicament like schoolgirls.

That brings us to the convicted felon who is taking over from Goldibollocks, Screechy take a bow…..or don’t as your cleavage is getting quite an airing on your soapbox….your ambition has been reached, Uncle Jim has his own way and the hierarchy that have been slowly inching away from Goldibollocks into her camp have their own way. During her trial, and if you listen to the biffers she was a modern day Joan of Arc, she was stoic in her defence and was only convicted by lefty magistrates and the gutter press. Now I’m a novice in things legal, apart from the licencing law, but the overwhelming evidence produced by the CPS convicted her in two out of the three charges.

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In a way I’m glad she wasn’t jailed, and I can’t believe I’ve just said that, but the High command are looking for a big pay day and a martyr doing pokey, especially their pin up girl would almost certainly boost their coffers. I’d love Goldibollocks or indeed her to do community service in a Muslim area.

Screechy and Goldibollocks are so keen to remind anyone in earshot or on social media that they are a political party, all be it with no seats in any council, parliament, parishes or the EU, they constantly ask would any other party leaders be treated the same. So Goldibollocks and Screechy I’ll ask something to you……I don’t see Theresa May, the Libdem leader, Jeremy Corbyn or any other party leader being a convicted felon, being associated with an assassin, or ripping supporters off for cash.

I have also seen the ex biffers chatting amongst themselves,some very close to the hierarchy, proving that what we publish is true. A block on talking to any other group, a ban on a members husband who isn’t white, milking money and being rather sexist. I really want to be there when they implode because there’s nothing funnier than watching the death of a nasty racist right wing group.

So there it is, a racist group, followed by a terrorist, run by felons and bankrolled by a zealot. That is Britain First.

As we hurtle to Christmas the landlady appears to want me to do something called shopping, something a grumpy Landlord never understands so forgive me if this is a bit short.

Toodlepip