Let the outrage commence by Landlord

Beer 2The I’m outraged at ……. season has begun at Biffer command and watch out if your skin is slightly more tanned than theirs… you’re going to get it. As sure as eggs are eggs Poppy anger rolls into Christmas being banned, into Easter being stopped into St George’s day and then back to Remembrance Day again. You can set your watch, calendar or phone by it when frothing biffers recount tales of unicorns and pots of gold at the rainbow’s end – or lies as we like to call them.

The first unicorn instance started early, a guy in TfL uniform was accused of telling a poppy seller to get orf the land, cue outrage and the frothfest began. One of my colleagues actually sent a comment to TfL about it and was told that it happened in 2013 and he was actually protecting her. But it was enough for the bigots to fire the starting pistol on Muslim bashing.

The next unicorn instance came as England cricket players left to go to the ashes down under. In a team picture Moeen Ali didn’t have the obligatory poppy on his suit for the team picture, although he did have one later when they landed. But this was enough to start the foaming with super suds. Now I’ve actually met Mo at a cricket against racism event at the Oval, and I have to say he’s a lovely bloke. He is so proud of pulling on the Three Lions shirt, kisses the badge when he scores a ton and proud of representing his country, something Screechy and Goldibollocks and the high command can only dream of. If Moeen says it fell off I believe him more than the fucknuggets at Biffer Towers.

I noticed that as news of Moeen’s slip broke, Screechy and Goldibollocks were protesting about something or other and didn’t have Poppy’s on and neither did have the majority of supporters but we won’t make a fuss.

As regular followers of this page will know Screechy, Goldibollocks and the high command have a bit of previous with Poppy’s, the Royal British Legion and the false patriotism that they attach to it. They also have short memories about respect unlike Moeen. These are not made up details they are actual facts.

1. whilst an erstwhile member of the BNP Goldibollocks decided to wear underwear on his head at the cenotaph (rumours of them being Steve Lewis’s are as yet unproven) I haven’t seen Moeen do this as I suspect he thinks this is disrespectful.
2. The biffers try to sell poppy tat. The high command and the shittroopers have peddled their own crappy merchandise despite being asked to stop by the RBL. They didn’t and no money was ever received by the RBL even though the biffer blurb told their sheeple it would. The RBL have also said they wouldn’t take anything from them as they don’t accept donations from a political party. So Screechy and Goldibollocks have pocketed the dosh. There’s a video about too where an old man confronts Goldibollocks and a shittrooper about selling this. Goldibollocks in true biffer style then runs away. I doubt Moeen would have done this as it would be theft and a little disrespectful.
3. Last year Goldibollocks and Screechy sent their shittroopers out to various shopping centres and places where poppy sellers were. They instructed their accomplices to get selfies with the sellers and then posted these on Facebook saying they were guarding them from lefties and Muslims. This caused a such a furore as parents and military cadet organisations to request the removal of the pictures and had to issue statements to the effect of they didn’t know who the biffers were. Moeen I expect would only take selfies with fans of England Cricket, he’d never take selfies to pass them off as guarding pictures as that would be disrespectful.
So there you have it, a misplaced poppy, a foamfest from the cockwombles and racist comments from the bifferati. But there again who is the more disrespectful, Moeen Ali, a cricket player who proudly represents his country or a group of scam artists who rip off the RBL, use kids to further their hate and worship a thundercunt who walks around with y fronts on his head. The decision is yours.

Toodlepip

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A view from a barstool 49 by Landlord

Beer 2So here I am again, a month after Britain First was imploding with allegations from nasty fascists against nasty fascists and the charges hanging over them. Fast forward a month and the Britain Firsts own Eva and Adolf are off on a European jaunt fucking over their supporters who blindly send money to a legal fund that appears to be funding the European invasion. The bollocks they spout about visiting fellow patriots across the continent they quite frankly hate. To be honest the only patriots they have been photographed with have been a confused looking youngish bloke and a dead ringer for a resistance member from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

The confusing question for the EBF team is why they have taken a fucknugget like Andy Edge, the walking talking EDL fuckwit, a man that camped outside a Rotherham Police station, went on hunger strike and wore the same t-shirt for two weeks. I say hunger strike… apparently kebabs, sandwiches and Stella weren’t part of the strike. He is also a convicted felon with question marks over his involvement in a case in Northumberland and missing funds.

BF EBF Golding with drunk Frenchman
Golding posing with a random drunk Frenchman

Before we go all ‘conspiracy theorist’ let’s have a look at the background to the hopefully final jolly for the fuhrers for some time. Firstly they have now been charged and bailed for racially aggravated harassment. In their words they “exposed Islamic rapists” but as we all know, they actually exposed nobody. In fact the people they ‘exposed’ had already been arrested and were being tried through the ‘Islam supporting’ judicial system, were found guilty and sentenced by a ‘lefty’ judge to 14 years imprisonment. Screechy turned up at an address where one of these rapists lived for a while but had moved and harassed the new occupants and caused distress.

 

Screechy and Goldibollocks did more to fuck up the trial than the defence.

They were charged and given bail conditions that curtailed their activities. In one video the team forced me to watch the fuhrers stated they will never surrender and fight it all the way.

“Oh by the way, you gullible cockwombles, could you send us 25k for our defence?” They said before promptly buggering off to Lanzarote.

We’ve heard and seen the rumours/allegations that have been floating around about Goldibollocks and further revelations about Jayda. More charges could be brought, perhaps they already have been but until we have irrefutable proof we won’t publish.

So here we are, the wankpuffins that are Britain First are unraveling before our eyes. Goldibollocks and Screechy are cowardly scam artists conning money from gullible vsheeple. They put up a front of togetherness when jealousy, distrust and hatred are the true order of the day.

The latest hilarious episodes just show how much they are trying to get their pensions paid by the blind fucknuggets that follow them. Firstly someone deleted their websites, the second they claim they want to sue UKRAP for using their lion. Hopefully they’ll get a few years behind bars, Britain First will go away and I can get back to drinking Hobgoblin.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #47 by Landlord

So here we go, some crappy important sounding music, a picture of somewhere news gets done, some smug idiot standing around shuffling papers……bugger this, it ain’t working, but anyway here is the EBF news, we would have done it on one of those crappy apps that the biffers use but the company involved wouldn’t take a packet of hobnobs and a half eaten Curly Wurly as payment, I told Foxy to throw in a Tassimo Latte thingy but hey here we go.

bf ebf jayda fransen paul golding arrested ramsgate court case may 2017.png

Anyway here is my take on the one story this week, the arrest of Goldibollocks and Screechy for inciting religious hatred. I’ve read their press release did some digging and done a biffer bullshit to EBF translation. Another begging email has gone out, after all it is coming close to the summer holiday needing to be paid for, anyway I digress….

Now the background from what I’ve seen. Screechy has been running around Ramsgate with her crew videoing her outside various premises where alleged rapists have been working or living and basically fucking up a police and CPS investigation that has landed the alleged perpetrators in court. It’s almost as if they saw what their new bestie Tommy was doing and decided we need to do some of that. Unfortunately (when I say unfortunately I actually mean hahahahahahaha) that didn’t turn out too well for Tommy either who was also nicked. Now for those trolls coming over for a visit we at EBF condemn those that break the law especially paedophiles and rapists, we just don’t judge them on the colour of their skin or the god they choose to follow. But anyway back to the translation.

Biffer release (BFR) We have to be very vague, as we are told Kent police have slapped some extreme bail conditions on them both which limits what they can say.

Landlord translation (LT) We’ve fucked up big time, we hoped that in this post brexit Britain a bit of incitement wouldn’t be noticed and we need to make it sound good to get some dosh out of you

BFR The police swooped on Paul and Jayda while they were driving by blocking the road and surrounding them with police vans.

LT We was having a lovely non Halal Curry with a nice British cup of tea and two coppers knocked on our door asking us to accompany them to the station. But that doesn’t sound good on the begging letters

BFR The raid included both uniformed and plain clothes CID officers.

LT Geoff from down the Dog and Duck was walking along the road but he was in civvies but we’ll count him as plainclothes as it sounds better on the begging letter

BFR It was a military style ambush that was executed with precision.

LT They knocked loudly and called me sir, and doesn’t it sound good on the begging letter

In all seriousness though what thorough cockwombles Goldibollocks and Screechy are. Along with Tommy and his camera buddy they were breaking the law of the land. They could now have put in jeopardy the trial of some men who may or may not have committed a disgusting offence and allowed them to be free to attack more young women. Goldibollocks and Screechy are a disgrace, this was done to incite their sheep to maintain their Islamaphobia, to fan the flames of hatred and to try and make money. It was made worse when someone took to Facebook to ask them to take one of their inciting videos down because they had the wrong address but no, they didn’t comply.

So both of them, as well as hopefully some of the other High Command are going to be prosecuted or at least we hope they are, but G&S you are, in this country, innocent until proven guilty. You don’t need vigilante cuntspangles camping outside your gaff spouting bollocks.

Final bit
BFR Will you chip in to help them fight this latest round of politically motivated persecution?

LT Pahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Toodlepip

A view from an uncomfortable barstool by Landlord

Not really in the mood for writing but then again why not? Every other expert, right wing fuckwit and doom merchant has so why not a slightly left wing grumpy old sod giving his and the views of his regulars on the events of Wednesday.

Firstly I think back to 9\11 and the glee on the faces of a few in the middle East as they burnt the Stars and Stripes and then I look at the vitriol from the right wing over the last couple of days and see exactly the same pleasure. The media speculate on everything making out not the gravity of the situation but trying to scare the shit out of us. To me that’s as dangerous than the murderer who carried out the attack.

EBF London attack Theresa MayRead any Facebook or Twitter feed and I see one of three sets of people, firstly those who say told you so Screechy, Goldibollocks, Robinson and others on the far right. Secondly there are those who are genuinely frightened and see the press and the rabid right pushing them to believe the bullshit that they peddle and are ready to let this already right wing government to erode more of our basic rights and finally there’s us.

EBF London attack 2We feel the pain caused, we feel the hurt caused but we can also see where this is going. Trump now feels his Muslim ban is justified, May can get away with more swingeing erosion of our rights and all in the name of safety. The Muslim Council of Great Britain once again feel the need to issue a statement saying it’s not in our name, which is paid lip service by the media and disregarded by the far right, but what can they do anymore than they do now?

So what do we know? Well someone for an unknown reason drove a car along Westminster bridge swerved and killed some tourists, then continued and crashed into a fence by the Houses of Parliament got out, stabbed a policeman and was shot. That’s it, no more no less, the rest is just conjecture and speculation, experts come on and talk endlessly about what the security forces MAY be doing. Reporters report what other reporters are reporting, Tommy Robinson gets on a train to London and tries to run around talking to anyone who’s listening, Screechy and Goldibollocks release video’s in which you can almost hear the sound of kerching in the background. But all we really know is from the police who release carefully worded statements so as not to fuel the hysteria but fail miserably as more and more experts and commentators add bits.

EBF Tommy Robinson London attack

I’m horrified by the events of Wednesday but I and many others stay realistic. This was a murderer doing something that is abhorrent, not in the name of a religion or ideology but because of a warped sense of view. Last year another murderer killed Jo Cox shouting “Britain First” I didn’t see a video of Screechy and Goldibollocks calling for all fascists to be deported and churches to be pulled down, I didn’t see a five minute interview of Paul Nuttall spouting shit, I didn’t see Tommy Robinson prostituting his gob to anyone who may listen, I didn’t see an erosion of our rights but I do now.

EBF London attack 1

I’m not a great lover of the police but I do however think they know what they are doing, I think they know a lot more than they are telling us but they and they alone will let us know over the coming days and weeks and this is the only information I will believe.

Finally all the admins on this page would like to pass on our condolences to the victims of this murderer, people who went out to enjoy the sights of our beautiful city, or was guarding the houses of parliament and will not be going home.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #46

Another week where those in Bifferdom have finally cracked and sending more clickbait with than the PPI companies do on Facebook. “Share if you like fluffy unicorns but only if they’re British, share if you love British Castles and so on and on and on zzzzzzzzz. Are they running out of money to buy likes? Then they come out with a picture of an antelope called a dik dik (not Lomax and Lewis in their security garb) found in southern Africa and asked us to share if we love British wildlife. Spectacular own goal chaps……

This week we celebrated International Womens Day and Screechy published a picture of her holding a Qur’an and telling us about the way women are treated as second class citizens etc etc etc. Any chance of Muslim bashing hey Screech! Now I’m not a follower of any religion (or fashion) nor have I read the Qur’an, the Bible or Tanakh or Enid Blyton’s Famous five ( I was much more a Secret Seven man) but even a rudimentary check on Google and you find something pretty demeaning to women in all of them. Again interpretation is the name of the game, which Screechy plays very well.

EBF Twitter Jayda Fransen Chris York Huffington Post interview offerWe hear that Screechy and Goldibollocks don’t run from anything or anyone, the typical media whores that crave coverage wherever they can get it. Screechy published a story about two street preachers being arrested on Twitter, one of this page’s friends, Chris York from the Huffington Post tweeted back and asked her and Goldibollocks for an interview, just the three of them, anywhere they wanted, with a chance to get their point across and answer a few questions. The reply, bluster and deflection. In publican terms brave patriots Goldibollocks and Screechy ran away. So Screechy you know how to get in touch with Chris, I would guess the offer still stands!

As I have written before, with the world lurching horribly to the right and the policies put in place, racist attacks have increased. This is no surprise to us here and at TellMama and far right and neo Nazi arrests have doubled. No doubt biffer towers will put out a release telling anyone left who gives a shit on their page that this is lefty journalism and establishment propaganda. This in fact was in the Telegraph. The far right are emboldened by recent political moves and they feel it’s their right now to attack the defenceless, the majority aimed against Muslims as the rhetoric from world leaders want to beat them into the ground. Well this won’t do, we need to fight for our friends and neighbours now more than at any other time. A biffer favourite is about Creeping Sharia and halal slaughter of which it is abundantly clear they know fuck all about.

Another of our favourite fuckwits, Katie Hopkins just got sued for defamation, I’m hoping this will lead to more people calling her up on her hatred and lies. She is one of the islamaphobic cheerleaders either because she knows it winds more people up, more exposure, more noteriety, more money or it’s because she is a racist fucknugget and thinks a right wing revolution is happening and she’s the one to lead it.

Finally it’s coming up to Easter… cue general biffer frothing about the chocolate eggs from various companies not having Easter emblazoned on them in huge letters. A few things for Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of the right wing shittroopers to take note. Firstly, it’s a chocolate fucking egg…I have 5 kids who couldn’t give a toss whether it’s called Easter, summer, pagan or whatever. It’s a chocolate egg which is eaten as quickly as possible. Secondly, Easter is still on the packaging it isn’t Muslim appeasement it’s sensible marketing. Thirdly and someone may put me right but in my limited knowledge of the Bible I never knew there was a big fuck off chocolate egg with a toy or chocolate in the middle. But every year, just like Christmas, St. George’s day, Remembrance day and on and on and on and zzzzzzzzz the far right say our Christian identities are being taken away. And like everything else they say – it’s all a load of bollocks.

Well that’s it for this week, the biffers going bonkers, the fascists being locked up, a hated columnist guilty and having to pay and the frothing sheep having a go at Cadburys. All in all a fucked up time to be a follower in bifferdom.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #45 by Landlord

Beer 2Firstly an apology, I meant to try and write a a weekly roundup of all things biffer but real life really kept getting in the way, I really wish we were getting paid to run the page as our accusers like to say!!! In between running a busy business, trying to sympathise and help my Danish barmaid and French chef over their fears of Brexit and what it may mean to them and catching up with my family and antifa landlords I’ve let matters EBF go by a little. But like Goldibollocks, I’m back.

The fascists, although our lovely, mainly bigoted media, dress them up as alt-right, seem to have been emboldened by the new political landscape, from Brexit to Trump, from an unelected horrid PM to Geert Wilders and Marie Or Pen. The fash in the US and over here have taken that as open season on Muslims and couldn’t give two shits how they do it. Over here the EDL and the Biffers continue to use their own fake news and downright lies from the gruesome twosome the Mail and Express to whip up anti Muslim sentiment, and the other far right groups in this country have taken Brexit to mean the right have taken our country back literally and have been intimidating anyone who isn’t British.

In America Trump has used a Muslim Ban to stop Muslims from seven countries entering the US despite their not being any evidence of terrorism from these countries. Could it be that the countries that aren’t banned from entering have been vetted or that POTUS has business dealings there.

In fact, the rallying call from Trump, our PM, Goldibollocks, Screechy et al is “make our countries great again.

As a slightly left leaning, normal bloke working hard to give his family vacation good life this all scares the fuck out of me. As a regular in my pub said yesterday “all it needs is goostepping down the mall and what I fought against in the war all goes to pot.”

But should it scare us, bits and pieces over the last couple of months give us hope that the world is not going to be totally fucked and a revolution, although not armed, is starting. From centrist Tories leftwards the people have had enough and they are showing it.

From the women’s march across the world, the #resistance in the US, marchers for Europe, the NHS and against disability rights we are fighting back.

Enough of world politics and now back to all thing biffers. Well they had a march, or a carpark shuffle as we like to call it. Estimated attendance was 50 (antifa) 90 (local press) or twelvty million (high command). Once again it was against Muslim Grooming gangs and once again no biffers really give a shit about CSE unless they can beat Muslims with it. Let me put all the troll’s out there right, the exploitation and sexual abuse is wrong, whatever the colour, religion or sex of the perpetrators. It is not a Muslim problem it is a worldwide issue.
Anyway the biffers had their walk, no uniforms I noted(not that they were scared or anything) but security looking like cuntspangles in jackboots and army fatigues looking every bit a paramilitary organisation of Walts. The main speaker who Screechy had told us was a friend from Poland was coming over to address his new flock. He was probably happy he got refused entry as the biffers probably weren’t racist enough for him. Yes you read it right, refused entry to this country over fears that he could invite racial tensions. Screechy put out a tearful video telling us that it was the establishment again, stopping someone coming into the country to talk to a fascist organisation. Now I don’t know about you but isn’t that slightly double standards Screechy, don’t you want the Border Agency to stop hate preachers from coming into this country.

Finally I love this page, it’s an honour to be an admin on it, eating hobnobs and using the office Tassimo machine whilst picking out articles to post, seeing the memes being produced and the work that goes into debunking all that comes from biffer towers. I love the people that follow the page, that pass on articles, information and funnies. I even love the troll’s who are ripped apart when they pop up from time to time. Occasionally there are times we get it wrong, times we insult Screechy or Goldibollocks and the rest of the shittroopers. This we will never stop, because we can’t stop fighting them. If we do the sound of jackboots goose-stepping up the mall will happen.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #43 by Landlord

christmas-beerI have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.

Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

bf-paul-golding-prison-1

Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.

bf-ebf-fransen-golding-luton-courtWhilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.

On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.

Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

EBF BF Golding prison crime policy.jpg

I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,

“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”

To which one of our regulars wrote

“Hmmm, like Choudary.”

So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.

One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.

But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.

Toodlepip