A view from an uncomfortable barstool by Landlord

Not really in the mood for writing but then again why not? Every other expert, right wing fuckwit and doom merchant has so why not a slightly left wing grumpy old sod giving his and the views of his regulars on the events of Wednesday.

Firstly I think back to 9\11 and the glee on the faces of a few in the middle East as they burnt the Stars and Stripes and then I look at the vitriol from the right wing over the last couple of days and see exactly the same pleasure. The media speculate on everything making out not the gravity of the situation but trying to scare the shit out of us. To me that’s as dangerous than the murderer who carried out the attack.

EBF London attack Theresa MayRead any Facebook or Twitter feed and I see one of three sets of people, firstly those who say told you so Screechy, Goldibollocks, Robinson and others on the far right. Secondly there are those who are genuinely frightened and see the press and the rabid right pushing them to believe the bullshit that they peddle and are ready to let this already right wing government to erode more of our basic rights and finally there’s us.

EBF London attack 2We feel the pain caused, we feel the hurt caused but we can also see where this is going. Trump now feels his Muslim ban is justified, May can get away with more swingeing erosion of our rights and all in the name of safety. The Muslim Council of Great Britain once again feel the need to issue a statement saying it’s not in our name, which is paid lip service by the media and disregarded by the far right, but what can they do anymore than they do now?

So what do we know? Well someone for an unknown reason drove a car along Westminster bridge swerved and killed some tourists, then continued and crashed into a fence by the Houses of Parliament got out, stabbed a policeman and was shot. That’s it, no more no less, the rest is just conjecture and speculation, experts come on and talk endlessly about what the security forces MAY be doing. Reporters report what other reporters are reporting, Tommy Robinson gets on a train to London and tries to run around talking to anyone who’s listening, Screechy and Goldibollocks release video’s in which you can almost hear the sound of kerching in the background. But all we really know is from the police who release carefully worded statements so as not to fuel the hysteria but fail miserably as more and more experts and commentators add bits.

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I’m horrified by the events of Wednesday but I and many others stay realistic. This was a murderer doing something that is abhorrent, not in the name of a religion or ideology but because of a warped sense of view. Last year another murderer killed Jo Cox shouting “Britain First” I didn’t see a video of Screechy and Goldibollocks calling for all fascists to be deported and churches to be pulled down, I didn’t see a five minute interview of Paul Nuttall spouting shit, I didn’t see Tommy Robinson prostituting his gob to anyone who may listen, I didn’t see an erosion of our rights but I do now.

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I’m not a great lover of the police but I do however think they know what they are doing, I think they know a lot more than they are telling us but they and they alone will let us know over the coming days and weeks and this is the only information I will believe.

Finally all the admins on this page would like to pass on our condolences to the victims of this murderer, people who went out to enjoy the sights of our beautiful city, or was guarding the houses of parliament and will not be going home.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #45 by Landlord

Beer 2Firstly an apology, I meant to try and write a a weekly roundup of all things biffer but real life really kept getting in the way, I really wish we were getting paid to run the page as our accusers like to say!!! In between running a busy business, trying to sympathise and help my Danish barmaid and French chef over their fears of Brexit and what it may mean to them and catching up with my family and antifa landlords I’ve let matters EBF go by a little. But like Goldibollocks, I’m back.

The fascists, although our lovely, mainly bigoted media, dress them up as alt-right, seem to have been emboldened by the new political landscape, from Brexit to Trump, from an unelected horrid PM to Geert Wilders and Marie Or Pen. The fash in the US and over here have taken that as open season on Muslims and couldn’t give two shits how they do it. Over here the EDL and the Biffers continue to use their own fake news and downright lies from the gruesome twosome the Mail and Express to whip up anti Muslim sentiment, and the other far right groups in this country have taken Brexit to mean the right have taken our country back literally and have been intimidating anyone who isn’t British.

In America Trump has used a Muslim Ban to stop Muslims from seven countries entering the US despite their not being any evidence of terrorism from these countries. Could it be that the countries that aren’t banned from entering have been vetted or that POTUS has business dealings there.

In fact, the rallying call from Trump, our PM, Goldibollocks, Screechy et al is “make our countries great again.

As a slightly left leaning, normal bloke working hard to give his family vacation good life this all scares the fuck out of me. As a regular in my pub said yesterday “all it needs is goostepping down the mall and what I fought against in the war all goes to pot.”

But should it scare us, bits and pieces over the last couple of months give us hope that the world is not going to be totally fucked and a revolution, although not armed, is starting. From centrist Tories leftwards the people have had enough and they are showing it.

From the women’s march across the world, the #resistance in the US, marchers for Europe, the NHS and against disability rights we are fighting back.

Enough of world politics and now back to all thing biffers. Well they had a march, or a carpark shuffle as we like to call it. Estimated attendance was 50 (antifa) 90 (local press) or twelvty million (high command). Once again it was against Muslim Grooming gangs and once again no biffers really give a shit about CSE unless they can beat Muslims with it. Let me put all the troll’s out there right, the exploitation and sexual abuse is wrong, whatever the colour, religion or sex of the perpetrators. It is not a Muslim problem it is a worldwide issue.
Anyway the biffers had their walk, no uniforms I noted(not that they were scared or anything) but security looking like cuntspangles in jackboots and army fatigues looking every bit a paramilitary organisation of Walts. The main speaker who Screechy had told us was a friend from Poland was coming over to address his new flock. He was probably happy he got refused entry as the biffers probably weren’t racist enough for him. Yes you read it right, refused entry to this country over fears that he could invite racial tensions. Screechy put out a tearful video telling us that it was the establishment again, stopping someone coming into the country to talk to a fascist organisation. Now I don’t know about you but isn’t that slightly double standards Screechy, don’t you want the Border Agency to stop hate preachers from coming into this country.

Finally I love this page, it’s an honour to be an admin on it, eating hobnobs and using the office Tassimo machine whilst picking out articles to post, seeing the memes being produced and the work that goes into debunking all that comes from biffer towers. I love the people that follow the page, that pass on articles, information and funnies. I even love the troll’s who are ripped apart when they pop up from time to time. Occasionally there are times we get it wrong, times we insult Screechy or Goldibollocks and the rest of the shittroopers. This we will never stop, because we can’t stop fighting them. If we do the sound of jackboots goose-stepping up the mall will happen.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #42 by Landlord

Beer 2Pahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahaha. They say something’s are constant in the world, like drinking to much over the festivities, the Queens speech, Nigel Fartage spouting crap and now the biffers latest begging bowl email which has me reaching for the Tena Man.
It seems to me they’ve been told by Uncle Jim’s travel agent that the cost of their Christmas holiday has increased due to their beloved Brexit. Maybe their disciples haven’t bunged enough money their way for a free management computer system and an overpriced camera.  So they fall back on old faithful and come up with an old favourite, not for Goldibollocks’ court case, it’s almost a dead cert he’ll play a blinder and plead guilty, but because the government MAY want to proscribe them and they have to have the cash just in case, Guvnor.
Now forgive a grumpy cynical Landlord but fuck off biffers! I know we here in EBF land, or ‘sanity’ as I call it, laugh at your pathetic attempts at marches, your lack of support at your days of (in)action and your tacky, racist shares from fake right wing media outlets. We snigger at your assertion that you are a legitimate political party sending shockwaves through the political elite despite your current councillors, MP’s and MEP’s totalling a big fat zero. We all know you’re a party who is laughed at in the main stream media so please don’t insult our intelligence in the same way you insult the intelligence of your followers.
theresa-may-8The government won’t proscribe you, however unfortunate that may be. They find you as irritating as dog shit on the bottom of their shoe but they really don’t see any need to take you seriously. The right wing groups they will go after are the ones that are really dedicated to violence and want to cause deaths. They’ll go after alliancess like National Action and a few of The infidel groups., not your mob of conmen Walt’s and foreign supporters. You can just about muster enough followers to take over my front room let alone anything else.
How your supporters still manage to accept everything you say is beyond me. Have your muslamic ray guns been set to stupid? The bacofoil you send out must have hallucinogenic drugs in it. From comments we’ve been sent by Moley from ex members of your high command they’ve admitted that it’s all about the money and very little else. There again a significant percentage of your support does come from the US of A and they voted in a conman too so nuff said. To close you down would be simple, send trading standards and the taxman round and you’d be gone without the government making matyrs out of you.
I see our ‘favourite’, please read that as ‘cuntspangle‘, racist has had his sentence increased, this time for racial harassment of a MP. When we in the office read the judge’s summing up we all looked at each other and wished the judge had been sitting at Screechy’s trial. I think she would have been well and truly fucked.
joshua-bonehill-aine-guilty-harrassing-mpFinally the rise of the far right seems to have been checked for now, Hofer in Austria lost, citing Fartage as the problem, Geert Wilders found guilty in Holland but surprisingly not sentenced to anything (musht have been thosh shpeshel shiggerettes) and Uncle Jim and his pet racist, Griffin trying to fight KTI’s corner so badly that even Hitler’s mouthpiece The Daily Fail had a go at them.
All in all then a weird week. The wife has realised my mirth is to do with the biffers. Their desperation is showing signs of trying to fleece as much as they can before flouncing off to Hungary. Bonehill is banged up for longer and will have some stringent conditions if he comes out, Goldibollocks is going down, Fartage is fucking off because he’s poor and my Christmas ale has arrived this year in time for Christmas. Have a good week.
Toodlepip
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More false advertising by the Biffers

We had a quick butcher’s at the Biffer Facebook page the other day. That’s their preferred environment for ‘…doin’ politics, innit?’ They still haven’t worked out that false, paid for likes from foreign clickfarms (they click you long time!) aren’t the same as actual votes. But occasionally, just sometimes they crawl out from under their seedy little rock and head off into the real world. A bit like this…

As usual the turnout was tiny but that’s not the important thing. Have a look at the little bald biffer with glasses in the front row. His jacket isn’t quite the same colour as the usual Biffer ‘bottle-out’ green. There’s a reason for that.

Here we see the same sad fash wannabe from the back. His jacket isn’t ‘bottle-out’ green because it’s representing a genuine heroes’ charity. But what’s a ‘Help for Heroes’ jacket doing on a Britain First ‘Day of action’?

We’ve asked Help for heroes. We’ll let you know their reply.

A view from a barstool #41 by Landlord

Beer 2Another week where the wife thinks I’m running off to Barbados with our barmaid as right wing hilarity reigns supreme. An even more right wing idiot takes over at UKRAP, the man in charge of Brexit says Britain will pay to be part of the single market even though the whole idea of leaving was to send no more money. There was another begging letter from our favourite wankpuffins, new policies have emerged from the same spunktrumpets and the biffers’ favourite ‘fair-minded’ news output lost one of it major backer’s. I really must read and listen to the right wing shenanigans whilst said barmaid is off.
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So to sum up the biffers week… There was a day of inaction in Nuneaton where, according to Screechy loads of locals turned up to support them although this was not borne out in fact or by empirical evidence. Even their own tired old video, with patriotic music and Screechy commentating showed a complete lack of interest. It showed the same old activists turning up to give out leaflets about some crap or other and trying to force their toilet paper on bemused Christmas shoppers. We at EBF felt for the activists so much we were thinking of having a whip round to buy them a few cardboard cutouts so they in turn could go and get some shopping done.
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There seems to be a deafening silence and lack of action outside the FA over the latest cases of child abuse. All here are sickened by any abuse from whatever race or religion, but the deafening silence from over at biffer high command just shows them for the hypocrites they are.
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I noticed they have a roadshow in the southeast, in Rotherhithe to be exact. The Lefty Landlord mafia don’t hold much truck over there leading me to believe it’s a hive of right wing activity and therefore  we can’t try to harass and cajole venues to kick them out. I believe 107 people have expressed an interest in going but I think after Screechy and her “security” turn up the number will be closer to that of which my 4 year old daughter can count up to comfortably. I could be wrong but I won’t be too far out.
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Whilst our erstwhile patriots are there they can partake in a buffet, a social afterwards and listen to Screechy talk shit about her favourite subject. Oh yes, and there is one other thing… This great, legitimate political party, you know the one with no MP’s no MEP’s, councillors or any other elected officials, is going to discuss their policies. Well I say policies – more like a racist diatribe that basically means any lefteyes, or Tories (leftwards according to them) will be rated as traitors and not tolerated in bifferdom. I won’t go through them all as the barmaid has returned but here’s a few of their unbudgeted, racist bollocks.
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Disbar followers of the Islamic ideology from holding public office, anyone found to be promoting the ideology of Islam to be deported or imprisoned.
Remove the right of choice for females.
Replace the present multi faith educational system with a predominant focus on Christianity and so on.
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Racist cuntwaffle is how I see it, reminiscent of policies see in 1930’s Germany.
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NEW YORK, NY – JUNE 25: A general view of atmosphere during the Kellogg’s Recharge Bar on June 25, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

The final part of their policies lead me quite nicely on to Brietbart losing Kellogg’s as a sponsor and advertiser citing that Kellogg’s do not stand for the right wing mantra spewed by Brietbart. In reply to that Brietbart instead of talking to Kellogg’s chucked their toys out of the pram. I urge all of you to buy Kellogg’s products or at least leave a review on their pages. Brietbart if you are not aware are one of the biffers favourite news  sources and certainly fly very close to lying about Islam and anything slightly liberal. Which, in the case of biffers and their final policy, making it a crime to publish lies in the media will be totally laughable as any of their sources can be picked apart pretty rapidly to leave the prisons full of hacks.

Well that’s it in a nutshell. Laughable, stupid, dangerous, hypocritical and full of shit. That is how I see the biffers. Now I must take my leave I’ve been instructed by the landlady it’s time to decorate the pub and make it all christmassy. I don’t agree, but that’s because I’m a grumpy bugger not because I’m anti Christmas. Also my Muslim mate has agreed to help so there is no issue there.
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Toodlepip
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View from a barstool #40 by Landlord

Beer 2A couple of weeks away and all hell has broken loose with right wing shenanigans. The hairpiece is going to be the most hated, powerful man on this planet, Thomas Mair is convicted of Jo Cox’s assassination with right wing undertones with pictures showing him on a day of activism with the biffers, Goldibollocks standing down to take time out(hopefully) at her majesty’s pleasure and a convicted felon taking over in our Screechy. And now proof that all is not well in bifferdom.

In my own world of cyberspace my American friends are unable to take in the way their country has voted. Admittedly they were sceptical of Hillary Clinton who is as trustworthy as the biffers but for their fellow countrymen to vote in a sexist, racist, bankrupt twat is enough to have them crying into their Buds. Some say that this just proves that the Americans are crazy but I personally feel that it is more sinister as more and more countries are seeing surges in support for the far right. Some have even dressed it up as ‘alt-right’ but I’ll call it how I see it, ‘deep rooted racism’.

Possibly Tommy Mair Dewsbury BF demoThe assassin known as Thomas Mair was convicted this week and as a white man I apologise for his terrorism. As the racists keep asking normal Muslims to apologise for Daesh I will get in first. Whether or not when he shouted “Britain First” he meant it as a battle cry or as a tribute to his favourite racists no one can be sure but the deafening silence from biffer towers and the pictures of him at one of their wanky days out prove it to me. The Nazi paraphernalia found shows that once again a line white terrorist is as bad as the Daesh ones.

So Goldibollocks has stood down, temporarily at least to spend more time with his family. That is laughable to say the least as his family now accompany him to all his roadshows to help swell the numbers to double figures. The fact that the blind disciples don’t see is that the jail time Goldibollocks is hopefully going to get just so happens to be 6 months…….a coincidence, a conspiracy theory or some time in Uncle Jim’s racist enclave. Whatever it may be we here at EBF towers and the majority of our followers will be giggling at his predicament like schoolgirls.

That brings us to the convicted felon who is taking over from Goldibollocks, Screechy take a bow…..or don’t as your cleavage is getting quite an airing on your soapbox….your ambition has been reached, Uncle Jim has his own way and the hierarchy that have been slowly inching away from Goldibollocks into her camp have their own way. During her trial, and if you listen to the biffers she was a modern day Joan of Arc, she was stoic in her defence and was only convicted by lefty magistrates and the gutter press. Now I’m a novice in things legal, apart from the licencing law, but the overwhelming evidence produced by the CPS convicted her in two out of the three charges.

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In a way I’m glad she wasn’t jailed, and I can’t believe I’ve just said that, but the High command are looking for a big pay day and a martyr doing pokey, especially their pin up girl would almost certainly boost their coffers. I’d love Goldibollocks or indeed her to do community service in a Muslim area.

Screechy and Goldibollocks are so keen to remind anyone in earshot or on social media that they are a political party, all be it with no seats in any council, parliament, parishes or the EU, they constantly ask would any other party leaders be treated the same. So Goldibollocks and Screechy I’ll ask something to you……I don’t see Theresa May, the Libdem leader, Jeremy Corbyn or any other party leader being a convicted felon, being associated with an assassin, or ripping supporters off for cash.

I have also seen the ex biffers chatting amongst themselves,some very close to the hierarchy, proving that what we publish is true. A block on talking to any other group, a ban on a members husband who isn’t white, milking money and being rather sexist. I really want to be there when they implode because there’s nothing funnier than watching the death of a nasty racist right wing group.

So there it is, a racist group, followed by a terrorist, run by felons and bankrolled by a zealot. That is Britain First.

As we hurtle to Christmas the landlady appears to want me to do something called shopping, something a grumpy Landlord never understands so forgive me if this is a bit short.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #37 by Landlord

Beer 2Well then here we are again, nights drawing in, central heating fired up, logs for the fire delivered and stored, Pimms back in the stockroom until either Wimbledon starts or someone remembers they like it (along with the babysham and Blue Nun I’ve forgotten about for years). And the biffers still twatwaffling on about things that happened years ago.

As we were reliably informed by biffer towers they’ve reached 1.5 million likes for their tawdry page on Facebook. “Bigger than any other political party” they say, proof that “Britain wants Britain First” Now not one to put a dampener on this lads but Britain doesn’t want you, there’s 40 odd million other Facebooking souls in the UK and as you quite like to say after the referendum the majority have spoken. Also they quite like to bandy the phrase “legitimate political party” about quite regularly but which other legitimate political party has no local council seats, no MP’s, no MEP’s, no mayors and have a conference in the back room of the Dog and Duck. In fact their argument has more holes in than their accounts.

Ah, says our pet troll, you only have 91000 likes you are just jealous. Well me ol’ mucker we aren’t. We don’t pay to promote our page, we don’t pay for likes or use clickbait. The admins and followers have been brought together because of the lies, bigotry and downright racism of the conmen and women that are Biffers. We, all of us, work bloody hard to expose them at every turn.

We also, don’t, when the cash cow that is their British followers catch onto their cons and won’t pay to stop Goldibollocks and Screechy having to get a job turn to bigots and racists across the Atlantic or the other side of the world to fund ol’ uncle Jim. In fact we are pretty sure that if uncle Jim could con money out of Russian communists there would be a “Red First”

bf-jayda-fransen-screechy-day-of-nonsense-in-telfordAway from this, Screechy’s court case is rapidly approaching. She wen’t  missing for a while (perhaps she was with Jimbo in Hungary) but our EBF satellite and drones eventually picked up her screeching voice in Telford. Maybe the signal didn’t reach to Hungary so we had to wait until she got back to her beloved Britain before we could detect her raucous tones. The truth is we don’t really care because as long as she feels the full force of the law next month we’ll be happy.

She and the Biffers can’t play their silly little games this time, no petulant ripping up of bail conditions, no sending their shittroopers to a town to stick two fingers up at the authorities… just silence. The reason, if all being fair, she could be spending time at her majesty’s pleasure, could be hearing the opening titles of Porridge (go on admit it you’re saying it now) and we and many, many others will be making virtual high fives all through the Britain she claims to love so much.

I hate to bang on about anything but one thing I must ask, please tell your families, mates, pets and neighbours. The Biffers and other scammers are due out again, trying to get you into parting with your money for Remembrance Day. Please make sure you only give to the RBL and don’t let the fucknuggets get any money intended for veterans.

Now back to the stockroom. I’m sure there’s a case of Lambrini there somewhere.

Toodlepip