A view from a barstool 49 by Landlord

Beer 2So here I am again, a month after Britain First was imploding with allegations from nasty fascists against nasty fascists and the charges hanging over them. Fast forward a month and the Britain Firsts own Eva and Adolf are off on a European jaunt fucking over their supporters who blindly send money to a legal fund that appears to be funding the European invasion. The bollocks they spout about visiting fellow patriots across the continent they quite frankly hate. To be honest the only patriots they have been photographed with have been a confused looking youngish bloke and a dead ringer for a resistance member from ‘Allo ‘Allo.

The confusing question for the EBF team is why they have taken a fucknugget like Andy Edge, the walking talking EDL fuckwit, a man that camped outside a Rotherham Police station, went on hunger strike and wore the same t-shirt for two weeks. I say hunger strike… apparently kebabs, sandwiches and Stella weren’t part of the strike. He is also a convicted felon with question marks over his involvement in a case in Northumberland and missing funds.

BF EBF Golding with drunk Frenchman
Golding posing with a random drunk Frenchman

Before we go all ‘conspiracy theorist’ let’s have a look at the background to the hopefully final jolly for the fuhrers for some time. Firstly they have now been charged and bailed for racially aggravated harassment. In their words they “exposed Islamic rapists” but as we all know, they actually exposed nobody. In fact the people they ‘exposed’ had already been arrested and were being tried through the ‘Islam supporting’ judicial system, were found guilty and sentenced by a ‘lefty’ judge to 14 years imprisonment. Screechy turned up at an address where one of these rapists lived for a while but had moved and harassed the new occupants and caused distress.

 

Screechy and Goldibollocks did more to fuck up the trial than the defence.

They were charged and given bail conditions that curtailed their activities. In one video the team forced me to watch the fuhrers stated they will never surrender and fight it all the way.

“Oh by the way, you gullible cockwombles, could you send us 25k for our defence?” They said before promptly buggering off to Lanzarote.

We’ve heard and seen the rumours/allegations that have been floating around about Goldibollocks and further revelations about Jayda. More charges could be brought, perhaps they already have been but until we have irrefutable proof we won’t publish.

So here we are, the wankpuffins that are Britain First are unraveling before our eyes. Goldibollocks and Screechy are cowardly scam artists conning money from gullible vsheeple. They put up a front of togetherness when jealousy, distrust and hatred are the true order of the day.

The latest hilarious episodes just show how much they are trying to get their pensions paid by the blind fucknuggets that follow them. Firstly someone deleted their websites, the second they claim they want to sue UKRAP for using their lion. Hopefully they’ll get a few years behind bars, Britain First will go away and I can get back to drinking Hobgoblin.

Toodlepip

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Britain first’s radical creation

How many times has Britain first protested at Finsbury Park Mosque?

How many times has Britain first called for white non-Muslims to rise up and take action against the Muslim ‘invasion’?

How many times has Britain first told its followers that they’re in a civil war against Muslims?

How many white British people have been radicalised by Golding and Fransen?

BF EBF Finsbury Park Mosque propaganda

How many British Muslims will be radicalised by atrocities such as the one perpetrated against innocent worshippers at Finsbury Park in the early hours of this morning?

Britain First isn’t just a profiteering organisation making money off the back of radicalised racists. It’s also one of Daesh’s most effective recruitment mechanisms.

EBF BF Dowson Holy War crusade comboTheresa May has pledged to clamp down on far right hate preachers. We suggest she starts with Fransen, Golding, Lomax and Lewis. We demand that the British government proscribe Britain First as a terrorist organisation and place all its ‘officers’ and activists on trial under the prevention of terrorism act.

We demand that this is done without delay. We further demand that hate preachers like Katie Hopkins, Nigel Farage, Paul Nuttall, Tommy (Yaxley-Lennon) Robinson also stand trial for inciting hate crimes against Muslims, refugees, immigrants and non-whites.

Come on Prime Minister – you’ve said you’re serious about prosecuting hate preachers. Now’s the time to get on and do it. Let’s not have yet another U-turn.

A view from a barstool #47 by Landlord

So here we go, some crappy important sounding music, a picture of somewhere news gets done, some smug idiot standing around shuffling papers……bugger this, it ain’t working, but anyway here is the EBF news, we would have done it on one of those crappy apps that the biffers use but the company involved wouldn’t take a packet of hobnobs and a half eaten Curly Wurly as payment, I told Foxy to throw in a Tassimo Latte thingy but hey here we go.

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Anyway here is my take on the one story this week, the arrest of Goldibollocks and Screechy for inciting religious hatred. I’ve read their press release did some digging and done a biffer bullshit to EBF translation. Another begging email has gone out, after all it is coming close to the summer holiday needing to be paid for, anyway I digress….

Now the background from what I’ve seen. Screechy has been running around Ramsgate with her crew videoing her outside various premises where alleged rapists have been working or living and basically fucking up a police and CPS investigation that has landed the alleged perpetrators in court. It’s almost as if they saw what their new bestie Tommy was doing and decided we need to do some of that. Unfortunately (when I say unfortunately I actually mean hahahahahahaha) that didn’t turn out too well for Tommy either who was also nicked. Now for those trolls coming over for a visit we at EBF condemn those that break the law especially paedophiles and rapists, we just don’t judge them on the colour of their skin or the god they choose to follow. But anyway back to the translation.

Biffer release (BFR) We have to be very vague, as we are told Kent police have slapped some extreme bail conditions on them both which limits what they can say.

Landlord translation (LT) We’ve fucked up big time, we hoped that in this post brexit Britain a bit of incitement wouldn’t be noticed and we need to make it sound good to get some dosh out of you

BFR The police swooped on Paul and Jayda while they were driving by blocking the road and surrounding them with police vans.

LT We was having a lovely non Halal Curry with a nice British cup of tea and two coppers knocked on our door asking us to accompany them to the station. But that doesn’t sound good on the begging letters

BFR The raid included both uniformed and plain clothes CID officers.

LT Geoff from down the Dog and Duck was walking along the road but he was in civvies but we’ll count him as plainclothes as it sounds better on the begging letter

BFR It was a military style ambush that was executed with precision.

LT They knocked loudly and called me sir, and doesn’t it sound good on the begging letter

In all seriousness though what thorough cockwombles Goldibollocks and Screechy are. Along with Tommy and his camera buddy they were breaking the law of the land. They could now have put in jeopardy the trial of some men who may or may not have committed a disgusting offence and allowed them to be free to attack more young women. Goldibollocks and Screechy are a disgrace, this was done to incite their sheep to maintain their Islamaphobia, to fan the flames of hatred and to try and make money. It was made worse when someone took to Facebook to ask them to take one of their inciting videos down because they had the wrong address but no, they didn’t comply.

So both of them, as well as hopefully some of the other High Command are going to be prosecuted or at least we hope they are, but G&S you are, in this country, innocent until proven guilty. You don’t need vigilante cuntspangles camping outside your gaff spouting bollocks.

Final bit
BFR Will you chip in to help them fight this latest round of politically motivated persecution?

LT Pahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #46

Another week where those in Bifferdom have finally cracked and sending more clickbait with than the PPI companies do on Facebook. “Share if you like fluffy unicorns but only if they’re British, share if you love British Castles and so on and on and on zzzzzzzzz. Are they running out of money to buy likes? Then they come out with a picture of an antelope called a dik dik (not Lomax and Lewis in their security garb) found in southern Africa and asked us to share if we love British wildlife. Spectacular own goal chaps……

This week we celebrated International Womens Day and Screechy published a picture of her holding a Qur’an and telling us about the way women are treated as second class citizens etc etc etc. Any chance of Muslim bashing hey Screech! Now I’m not a follower of any religion (or fashion) nor have I read the Qur’an, the Bible or Tanakh or Enid Blyton’s Famous five ( I was much more a Secret Seven man) but even a rudimentary check on Google and you find something pretty demeaning to women in all of them. Again interpretation is the name of the game, which Screechy plays very well.

EBF Twitter Jayda Fransen Chris York Huffington Post interview offerWe hear that Screechy and Goldibollocks don’t run from anything or anyone, the typical media whores that crave coverage wherever they can get it. Screechy published a story about two street preachers being arrested on Twitter, one of this page’s friends, Chris York from the Huffington Post tweeted back and asked her and Goldibollocks for an interview, just the three of them, anywhere they wanted, with a chance to get their point across and answer a few questions. The reply, bluster and deflection. In publican terms brave patriots Goldibollocks and Screechy ran away. So Screechy you know how to get in touch with Chris, I would guess the offer still stands!

As I have written before, with the world lurching horribly to the right and the policies put in place, racist attacks have increased. This is no surprise to us here and at TellMama and far right and neo Nazi arrests have doubled. No doubt biffer towers will put out a release telling anyone left who gives a shit on their page that this is lefty journalism and establishment propaganda. This in fact was in the Telegraph. The far right are emboldened by recent political moves and they feel it’s their right now to attack the defenceless, the majority aimed against Muslims as the rhetoric from world leaders want to beat them into the ground. Well this won’t do, we need to fight for our friends and neighbours now more than at any other time. A biffer favourite is about Creeping Sharia and halal slaughter of which it is abundantly clear they know fuck all about.

Another of our favourite fuckwits, Katie Hopkins just got sued for defamation, I’m hoping this will lead to more people calling her up on her hatred and lies. She is one of the islamaphobic cheerleaders either because she knows it winds more people up, more exposure, more noteriety, more money or it’s because she is a racist fucknugget and thinks a right wing revolution is happening and she’s the one to lead it.

Finally it’s coming up to Easter… cue general biffer frothing about the chocolate eggs from various companies not having Easter emblazoned on them in huge letters. A few things for Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of the right wing shittroopers to take note. Firstly, it’s a chocolate fucking egg…I have 5 kids who couldn’t give a toss whether it’s called Easter, summer, pagan or whatever. It’s a chocolate egg which is eaten as quickly as possible. Secondly, Easter is still on the packaging it isn’t Muslim appeasement it’s sensible marketing. Thirdly and someone may put me right but in my limited knowledge of the Bible I never knew there was a big fuck off chocolate egg with a toy or chocolate in the middle. But every year, just like Christmas, St. George’s day, Remembrance day and on and on and on and zzzzzzzzz the far right say our Christian identities are being taken away. And like everything else they say – it’s all a load of bollocks.

Well that’s it for this week, the biffers going bonkers, the fascists being locked up, a hated columnist guilty and having to pay and the frothing sheep having a go at Cadburys. All in all a fucked up time to be a follower in bifferdom.

Toodlepip

View from a barstool #44 by Landlord

Beer 2As 2017 comes in and we can at least bid a non-fond farewell to 2016 I was wondering just what this new year had in store for a grumpy, lefty, Muslim apologist landlord. I’ve had a look back at the year just gone, one in which it seems you can bomb the fuck out of somewhere, killing children, and a year that seems to justify fascism.

In Syria bombs continue to rain down on Aleppo, killing indiscriminately. Now I have an admission to make… I’m not particularly up on who’s doing what, where over there. I just can’t stand the fact that a whole bunch of innocent people are being killed by the west, Russia, their own government, Daesh and lack of food. The Biffer trolls’ favourite saying is “they should stay and fight” but fight whom, with what? Should they shoot the odd (not so) smart bomb with catapults?

Brexit has seemed to galvanise the right into thinking bigotry and abuse of anyone slightly off white is acceptable. Twitter and Facebook is awash with so-called celebrities writing statements that over a year ago would have seen them hauled over the coals. It seems that it’s ok to go up to foreign looking chappies and chappesses and tell them to “Fuck off home” even though their home is here. It seems ok to invade places of worship because their god is different to yours. It seems ok to racially abuse people in the street, all because a non-binding referendum seemed to say we hate foreigners.

Brexit send them back T shirt   Walsall halal butcher arson petrol bomb brexit

Well Katie Fucking Hopkins you failed at business, you failed at being a celebrity and you will fail at your pathetic attempts to shock. You see we laugh at you. I don’t care how you voted, as long as the reason wasn’t racial.

2016 also saw the deaths of many celebrities. Now call me a grumpy cuntspangle but I don’t see anyone as better than us, my television is limited to Sky Sports and peppa pig. I’m also someone who as a bar manager at Thorpe Park barred Katy Jordan (or something) as I really didn’t “know who I am” when she screamed at me. However during my formative years I did listen to a lot of Status Quo, a bit of Bowie, read a lot of Richard Adams and loved Star Wars so I am sorry they lost their lives. I also say RIP to all those who lost their lives in senseless wars, so called terrorist attacks or anything else.

The Americans have also managed to get the rest of the world united in a collective facepalm as they voted in a racist buffoon who is both financially and morally bankrupt. Us ‘lefteyes’ better run for cover… fuckwit is coming to town.

And now my favourite part of 2016, the beginning of the end of Bifferdom. They crave publicity and money. They want to be a “legitimate” political party who make all others quake in their boots. They want to outlaw a religion, not as they tell it but because it makes them money. What sort of year have they had? Well it’s been brilliant.

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They’ve got a new camera, Screechy appears to have increased by a cupsize or two, Goldibollocks and Stevie’s waistline seems to have expanded. The two leaders have criminal records, Goldibollocks being interned at her majesty’s pleasure for ignoring a High court injunction and Screechy for bullying a young Muslim lady. They failed to make any inroads in politics. Screechy, Goldibollocks and his mum/family failed even to make a blip on the BBC’S colour chart in the mayoral election. Their conferences and road shows were supported by the same 20 followers, despite having twelvty million likes on Facebook. So the Biffers were a failure too.

As I look now to 2017 what can I expect. Well probably more of the same. Although teetering on the edge of annihilation whilst there is still money to con, the Biffer High command will continue to talk bollocks and fail in almost everything they do. Hopkins will continue to talk shit and no one will listen. Trump will bankrupt the US and the West will continue senseless bombing of countries that might have oil, or pipelines owned in part by media moguls.

170101-nye-london-celebration

But there is something I saw over the recent festivities, a coming together of all faiths (and none) sticking the proverbial two fingers up at Trump, Fartage, Daesh, Bifferdom, Hopkins et al. The left, centre and centre right all beginning, to use a movie quote to “be excellent to each other”. You see we, the normal non-bigoted people are fed up of all this cuntwaffle from the Nazi far right and have had just as much as we can take.

So I’m not giving up smoking, drinking or meat. My resolution is to be excellent to all. Apart from Biffers they can fuck off.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #43 by Landlord

christmas-beerI have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.

Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

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Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.

bf-ebf-fransen-golding-luton-courtWhilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.

On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.

Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

EBF BF Golding prison crime policy.jpg

I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,

“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”

To which one of our regulars wrote

“Hmmm, like Choudary.”

So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.

One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.

But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.

Toodlepip

Golding’s going down!

bf-paul-golding-prison-1We’ve waited a long time for this news. Sometimes we thought it would never happen. The big celebratory packet of chocolate Hobnobs has sat gathering dust on the EBF office shelf for far too many months, neglected and ignored. Only Kit would occasionally take it down from its place by the Facebook admin rota and stare deep into its plastic wrapping as though willing the chocolate out from between the oaty goodness within.  With the iron determination of a Biffer waiting doggedly for evidence she steeled herself for a long delay before the celebrations could begin. But now she waits no longer.

Today in the High court Paul Golding finally got his cummupance. He’s gone down for 8 weeks. Admittedly it’s not long and he’ll no doubt be out in four but that’s still a fair amount of time for someone who’s never been in prison before. It’s a Hell of a long time for Golding to be without his minders. Not exactly known for his courage Der Fuhrer never goes anywhere without his bodyguards.

He’s hated by the left for being a Nazi. He’s hated by the right for being a scam merchant. He’s hated by Muslims for stirring up trouble. He’s hated by the authorities for his contempt of the law. And he’s all alone without his bouncers. Good luck in there Paulie!

What’s the reason for his awful Christmas and New Year incarceration, I hear you ask? Well – according to Deputy Fuhrer (sorry – acting Fuhrer) Fransen…

Britain First leader Paul Golding has been sent to PRISON for confronting a hate preacher who said it is okay for Muslims to keep sex slaves!

But that’s not strictly true. Actually it’s because he breached a High court injunction forbidding him from entering or encouraging/allowing others to enter any Mosque in England & Wales without prior written invitation. Fransen does eventually admit this but not before attempting to rustle up as much outrage from the sheeple as she could…

Today, at the High Court in London, a judge decreed that this breached the Luton police injunction forced on us a few months ago

It’s also not true that the Imam in question said it’s permissible to keep sex slaves. In fact he was discussing passages from the Quran and placing them in proper context. His conclusion was that it’s actually NOT permissible. The whole Mosque invasion wasn’t just illegal, it was based upon an obvious lie. Golding and his Biffers were well aware of the truth before they set out to Wales that day but as ever for the Biffers – why let the truth get in the way of a good publicity stunt?

Fransen’s rant goes on to complain that Paulie’s poor little life is in danger because of corrupt left wing judges and vicious Muslim gangs running the prisons. You know – the same Muslims who according to Britain First never get convicted of anything, ever because of our corrupt judicial system. We have to wonder what these imaginary Muslim gangs might be doing in British prisons if, as the Biffers never tire of telling us, they never get convicted of anything but that’s for another time.

We do think Goldie might be at risk, but not from Muslim gangs. We think he’s far more likely to be hurt by the genuinely violent underbelly of British culture – middle-aged, white, far-right racists who resent the fact that Golding’s constant begging for money and pointless posturing has starved them of funding. There are plenty of disgruntled EDL in the nick who’d just love to take a pop at Goldibollocks.

Whether he gets hurt or not is a moot point though. The fact is he’ll be shaken by the experience. A tin-pot fascist without his protection is a snivelling little nobody. This sentence sets a precedent that has been a long time coming. The next breach is likely to attract even bigger sentences, even more jail time and it’s hard to imagine that little Paulie will be up for doing any more ‘bird’ in the foreseeable future. Fransen seems to us to be much more courageous (after her infamous loss of confidence in Burton) and we’d expect her to be the next Biffer to go down. Or maybe Lomax for benefit fraud. We’ll have to wait and see about that one.

Either way the writing is finally on the wall for Britain First. They may not know it yet (although we think they do) but we can expect stiffer and stiffer penalties from the establishment from now on.

So with that in mind…

Come on Kit – open those Hobnobs!