Just another crazy American

EBF Trump crazy AmericanI was out having coffee with an old friend from my hometown when the news broke. We were sitting in a swanky coffee shop making adoring noises in the general direction of our new humans (her delightful little treasure is a month or two older than mine) when our mutual admiration fest was interrupted by mobile phone alerts. My old friend was first to comment.

“OMG! Trump’s been retweeting Britain First! You’re something to do with EBF aren’t you?”

I almost fell off my chair. Not only did I not know she’d heard of EBF, I definitely didn’t know she knew I was involved.

“Yes,” I replied, taken aback.

“I’m EBF Blogger”

“I knew it!” She exclaimed. “I knew that was you. I can tell your style of writing a mile away!”

My friend and I had gone right through school together. We almost always sat next to each other and even met in each other’s houses to do homework. We really were the geeky girls of the class. So it stands to reason that if anyone would know my writing style, she would.

“So?” She inquired. “What do you make of that?”

“Just another crazy American who thinks they understand British society.” I said.

“Most of Britain First’s followers are either paid-for clickfarm likes or foreigners. The American Christian right wing has always been keen on slagging off non-Christians so BF’s anti-Muslim, anti-brown agenda appeals to them.”

My friend stared blankly back at me, clearly surprised that I didn’t see this ‘shot in the arm’ for the Biffers as a problem.

“It’s no big deal.” I said. “Britain First has lost all credibility in UK. British people took a while to see them for what they are but now everybody who cares to look knows that they’re a bunch of far-right bigots. They can get American Facebook support if they want but that won’t help them in this country. If they get a few American donors… IF that happens they’ll just squander the money on European holidays and fines for public order offences anyway.”

“So you’re not worried that the President of the free world just endorsed them?”

“The president of what? I didn’t vote in that election. He’s president of America – nowhere else. And anyway – even the Yanks want shot of him!”

My friend smiled and sat back in her overly stuffed comfy chair.

“Just another crazy American, then.” She said, wiping the second most adorable little baby face in the world.

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Is this the real life? by Landlord

As the song goes……

Is this the real life, or is it just fantasy?

The last few days have been like my wife talking about East Coronation Farm Oaks or in other words a soap opera starring the biffer high command.

As I wrote on the page we will not put anything on the page until we confirm the veracity of the allegations but we can draw conclusions from them and wonder what can happen further down the line.

We receive messages on a weekly basis from Moley and this has hinted at misdeeds by Screechy and Goldibollocks but with no viable proof, unlike the biffers, we won’t publish.
These allegations that we’ve seen over the last few days could be the beginning of the end for the biffers as in fighting causes them to implode, it could be the start of a hostile takeover by Screechy and factions close to her or it could be an elaborate hoax to test the loyalty of the high command.

The last of these would mean that someone in the Fuhrer bunker has the intelligence to start such a ruse!

Fuhrer bunkerWe are well aware of certain factions trying to take over Britain First. The woman at the centre of these allegations is a racist, a member of a Polish far right organisation that the biffers have been courting and probably been trying to get funds from. Could it be that these fascists want more than just a connection?

Tommy Robinson has been sniffing about the high command recently. Maybe the amount of money that the biffers fleece from their sheeple has attracted him like a fly over shit.

Screechy has appeared recently to be more than just the Nazi wet dream poster girl. Now Leader of the ‘Northern Ireland division’ it seems to us that she has manoeuvred herself into poll position for Fuhrer! She certainly has, from what I have seen, a huge support from biffers and respect from other fash movements. Where Goldibollocks is seen by most despicable right wing fucknuggets as a conman who would sell out for five faaaaaasand paaaaands, Screechy really is a nasty fash.

Whichever one it could be, as someone who is dedicated to their downfall I’ll watch with enjoyment as the Fuhrer bunker crumbles around their ears!

Fuhrer bunker destroyed

A view from a barstool 26 by Landlord

Beer 2A week of mirth and watching the Biffers implode into themselves. Screechy and Goldibollocks have become more deranged and desperate each day as they delete memes about the victor in the Mayoral election to…

  1. a) make themselves look less like cry babies and
  2. b) as moley intimated, to stave off any possible litigation against them.

This week, with the warm weather I held an impromptu BBQ/housewarming party. Nazeer from next door and his wife and his kids came over, so to did  Purav, a Sikh from just down the road, a couple of bald headed, tattooed Englishmen and my mate with Jamaican roots. I managed to purloin some stock (well a lovely barrel of Champion Gold and ‘some Babycham for the Laydees’). You know what, we had a lovely time, brilliant conversation, great food, Halal of course prepared by Naz’s wife…I was making a pigs ear of it so she took over, well in fact told me to “bugger off, you’re useless just like my husband” (so much for the subservient sex in Islam).

The Landlady unfortunately found my expensive wine collection, £7 a pop instead of the £3.99, and everyone drifted home happy, no arguments, no conversion, and apart from a stinging hangover I still had my head. New friends for life. The main thing we agreed with was the joke that is Britain First and the EDL. Although I think at least one of them reads EBF and may have worked out my alter ego.(They will do now).

Now with the election done and dusted the new mayor is now in. What is next for the Biffers? Well they have started a recruitment campaign. For just £2 a month you to could join the ranks of the twats! A free newspaper and a membership card are both thrown in. Whoopee! Here’s my bank details Goldibollocks.

Our favourite biffer, he who loves Greggs, sent out a tearful battlecry to the other spunktrumpets of the far right to come together and fight the rising tide of Islam. Sorry Mr L, the EDL, Casuals, Infidels, NF, National Action and Pie and Mash hate you as much as they hate each other. The chances of any of you uniting really is very, very slim. Even if you did, what would you get on the ground for marches? 200 tops!

Two different marches last week showed just how much the far right is supported. 20 in Portsmouth and 24 in Burton for “massive” days of action proves they really just have a social media presence and not enough on the street to fill a coach!

What’s next for the biffers? Some more mosque invasions, Halal slaughterhouse invasions, cowardly attacks on people on bail. This now “mainstream political party” will probably find something to do and we will be there, with your support to debunk, harass, shout shouty things at their demo’s and report posts to various bodies (although facebook is a bit of a longshot).

Now you’ll have to excuse me, Naz and Purav have invited me to another evening out, I might get out of it alive or at least with another hangover.

Landlord

View from a Cellar 4

Landlord in cellarMore midweek shenanigans from the wonderful world of the right wing. I’ve been looking through the pages on facebook and in the papers and not a great deal is going on over in bigotland, the brand new theme park for the foaming right.

“Roll up roll up bigoted ones and racists all, for today we have all of you in one place.”

The EDL to the right, Pegida to the right, biffers on the evangelical right and thugs like the infidels, National Action and the NF to the far right. A foam fest of grand proportions for one day only.

There’s Goldibollocks and screechy preaching to their 120 followers wanting to take “are country back” This area comes complete with bible reading area (Brian Blessed type voice as we know the struggle with reading) Lefty Jounalist Pinata’s, a shop with stab vests and newspapers and a handy Police station for anyone who’s on Bail.

Oooh look There’s Pegida with stickers all over their mouths…..oh and a Pakistan flag…. all 127 of them with begging buckets. Tommy is there with MI5,MI6 and the rest of the intelligence community standing with him in case he wants to grass his former mates up. It appears Tommy has been on a ride as he seems to have taken a bashing coming out of a club. His police mates are looking at over a million suspects. This area comes with a dream factory as he’s delusional over 10000 people out on his next march and the management of Bigot World will have to get another couple of acres.

EDL Imbibing brotherhood brethren Bibo ergo sum in vino veritasPaul Locke and the EDL seem to have found Stella world, complete with directions on how to give the best Nazi salute. At least he seems to have found a couple of hundred like minded souls to keep him company. This part of the park includes handy advice on how to not get your Facebook pages hacked and how to scream about banning the Burka while still wearing face coverings.

Aha! Finally we have the real thugs and bigots. They are all bunched up in one. The infidels who are currently on an unsupervised march with no police protection as they haven’t told anyone….apart from Antifa, other groups and the police on social media. Where they are comes with handy Section 35 orders and instructions on how to get yourself nicked in one easy take. National Action are visiting a great area, a shop with banana’s and a left luggage office to take cover in the event of rain (or antifa). Their white knuckle ride is called “Scouse” and has them cowering in the corner. And it looks like the National Front have turned up..all 15 of them to show us Enoch was right.

It all looks so sweet until closing time when they seem to get on each others nerves, forget their percieved enemy and turn Bigot world into one big riot. Security (with real trained operatives with real licenses) turn up but along with the rest of the general public just can’t help laughing at these fucknuggets and their followers.

Oh well back to work now…look out for a view from a barstool this weekend with the news of the arrest of Screechy and Goldibollocks. I’m going to have to hide away well away from the Landlady.

Cheers

BF DBS CRB BS

EBF BF Armed forces 1We’re sure we’re not the only ones who’ve long wondered just what the Britain First claims about the long-unavailable ‘CRB’ check is all about. On one level, of course it’s just funny. They’re so out of touch that they can’t even use the right term in their lies. The Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check has been unavailable for years. It’s been replaced as part of the wider overhaul of Safeguarding legislation in favour of the new Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) check.

The point of the DBS check is to ensure that organisations working with vulnerable groups (health, social services, childrens’ workers, teachers etc) don’t unwittingly employ people who present a risk to the vulnerable people they work with. It’s a highly confidential service and only relevant organisations have access to the information revealed by the check.

One reason for this is because the DBS check doesn’t just rely upon public domain records of convictions. It also includes police intelligence, spent convictions, suspicions and even potential guilt by association. This is because the risk to vulnerable people outweighs the obvious difficulties associated with barring people who may not have been convicted of any crime from working in particular professions. It’s not always fair but the government thinks it’s better than letting people who are likely to be criminal have unrestricted access to easily exploitable potential victims.

Just think about that for a moment though. DBS checks provide information about people who may be completely innocent. That’s justifiable when the checks are used to protect the most vulnerable. It’s not justifiable to use it to decide whether or not a person can be affiliated to a political party. The fact that someone may or may not have a criminal record has no impact upon their right to hold a political viewpoint or to join a Facebook group. There is no legitimate reason for Britain First (a political party) to vet its members through DBS. No political party has access to the DBS checking system. The list of organisations that can access the list is here. It’s easy to see that Britain First would never be able to fulfil these functions. Therefore – they have no access to DBS.

So why on earth would the Biffers want us to think they use DBS (or CRB, since they’re so out of date)? We think that’s obvious.

Claiming to perform these checks provides an air of official respectability. If people think the Biffers are performing DBS checks they may think that they’re somehow more legitimate than they are with their secret Facebook groups. As if such a group could ever be legitimate. It reminds us of the childrens’ ‘I-Spy’ club that some of Team EBF were members of as kids. In return for our parents paying our subscription we received a certificate of membership, a badge proclaiming that we were fully-fledged international spies and the opportunity to buy lots of I-Spy books at no discount. It was essentially worthless in real terms but it made gullible children, desperate to belong to something they thought was ‘special’ feel good. It’s very possible that membership of the Britain First Armed Forces Division is just as insignificant, appealing to the immature, the easily led, the gullible and to those most desperate to ‘belong’. It may well be no more significant than that. That’s what Knights’ Templar International is about and the BFAFD may be no different.

EBF BF KTI join rip off con

But maybe… just maybe…

Let’s assume that Britain First has a more sinister motive than just making money. Let’s assume that they want to recruit potential terrorists as part of some illegal militia. It wouldn’t be the first time that the British far right has set up their own private ‘armies’. Moseley did it with the British Union of Fascists (BUF) before it was disbanded and the man himself imprisoned. The National Front (NF) did it with the subversive violent, mobile thugs of the ‘Inter-city wrecking crew’ and ‘Combat 18’ and who could forget the violent ‘Infidel’ groups formed under the umbrella of the English Defence League’ (EDL)?

SA Brownshirt Nazi 2It’d be no surprise if Golding had similair aspirations. We know he’s violent – he’s even posted videos of himself to remove all doubt. We know his black-shirted ‘security’ thugs are very happy to assault those who get in their way – there are plenty of videos demonstrating that on line too. We also know that Golding has delusions of grandeur and a tendency to reach far beyond his grasp.

The attempt to set up an illegal political militia (Like Hitler’s Brown-shirted SA) would be right up his street. The claim to have access to CRB/DBS would encourage prospective militiamen to self-identify as violent thugs from the outset, thus allowing Golding to know who to recruit into their secret hit-squad bullshit group.

If they want to join BF they are, by definition already sympathetic to the group’s fascist aims.

The disclosure part of the application form identifies the most violent and unscrupulous.

The secret Facebook group provides a means of communication.

Either that or it’s no different from Knights’ Templar International (KTI) and the Tufty club!

The Tufty club

Britain First radicalising their kids!

As usual, Britain First has been out and about stirring up trouble. In a recent video they feature several ‘activists’, at least two of whom are minors.

We recently posted an article relating to the government’s anti-radicalisation drive. The article makes the obvious point that those most susceptible to intolerance and radicalisation are the young, the inexperienced, the naive.

BF EBF Lomax teenage daughter Bobbie Demo minor radicalisation anonymised

Here we see the teenage daughter of a Biffer ‘RCO’ being put through her paces as the indoctrination continues. She’ll soon be a fully committed young racist if this abusive brainwashing is allowed to continue.

Yet again it appears that Britain First didn’t get the memo as they continue to indoctrinate children with their lies and distortions. For the Biffers it’s ‘business as usual’. For the rest of us it’s good thing that the British government is finally waking up to the dangerous absurdities that they preach.

BF Demo Bobbie Lomax and friend minor teenage radicalisation anonymised

If these kids were from Muslim households, social services would be all over them and their parents. We at EBF see no significant difference where Biffer households are concerned. Extremism is extremism and these children must be protected from the exploitative, radicalising influence of the far right, racist propaganda they’re currently being exposed to.

Here’s hoping for some swift intervention!

BF EBF Bobbie Lomax and friends newspaper demo minor teenage radicalisation anonymised

How would that be?

Sometimes it’s hard to see the wood for the trees. It can be difficult to know who to trust in the ‘information age’.

Everywhere we turn somebody is pushing their message at us. What to buy, how to live, how to look, what to believe, who to pray to, what to wear, who to vote for and who to trust. There are so many of these messages bombarding us all, every minute of every day that it’s confusing and overwhelming.

Dutchy & Folding speech bubble BF Fransen Golding EBF Trust me

If only someone could make it all stop. If only somebody could take away all the complicated decisions and make everything simple again – like it was when we were children. Wouldn’t that be good?

Would you like someone to hold your hand, to make your decisions for you, to make the world’s problems simple to understand and then to give you a ready made way to feel good about your part in solving them?

Would you like that?

How much would you pay for that feeling of simplicity, even heroism that comes from total support for a superficial cause?

How much would you pay to be able to ignore the things that don’t fit your simple, uncomplicated world view? Things like this, for example…

Methodist church apologises for widespread abuse

Methodist church house

Subscriptions to Britain First start at just the price of a pint and a kebab for Folding Golding. For that you get to convince yourself that you understand both the problem and the solution. You even get to imagine that you’ve ‘done your bit’ for the cause.

BF compassion EBF

How would that be?