I’m not really very religious but I thought perhaps I should have a little word in God’s shell-like. Too much stuff didn’t make any sense. So I sat down in a quiet room with curtains drawn and meditative candles duly lit, all set to talk to my maker.
It wasn’t a long conversation but it seemed to straighten a few things out for me. It went like this…
This is a secret so don’t tell anybody!
Using their super-secure private Facebook group, Paul Locke’s ultra-competent English Defence League oafs have hatched yet another cunning plan. In utmost secrecy, without any chance of outsiders getting a sniff of the action Locke’s layabouts have planned yet another piss-up. They’re not known as The Imbibing Brotherhood for nothing!
The excuse for this drunken rampage is a ceremony to inaugurate a new Mosque.
Lots of Imbibers plan to attend but only if they can get pissed first.
As the aspiring national leader he is, Locke has taken steps to ensure his drunken mates will be well-pissed before they get to the Mosque. He’s even promised to make contact with a local pub, attempt to get the landlord to break the law by banning Muslims from his premises and arrange a pre-rampage piss-up venue. We’re not at all sure how successful that will be and for all we know the 3 Horseshoes won’t have anything to do with Locke’s Losers but it may be worth avoiding the place on Sunday if you fancy a quiet meal with the kids.
After all, they’ll be turning up to sully the pub’s atmosphere whether the landlord approves of the EDL’s racist views or not,
We’ll be passing on our information to W. Midlands police so hopefully the imbibing brotherhood won’t manage to cause too much disruption. It’d be a shame if they were allowed to spoil this important event with their loutish behaviour. This looks like a public order offence in the making to us. There might even be a conspiracy charge in there for all we know.
That’s for the police and the CPS to decide, of course.
Paul Locke is a Biffer. He’s also the leader in waiting of the English Defence League. We blogged about him before here and here and will continue to watch this nasty little racist as he climbs the boozy ladder to the exalted position of ‘Grand master of the order of Imbibing Brethren’. Officially he’s a humble Division leader from the West Midlands (I’m sorry to say my area has more than its fair share of violent racists) but actually he’s the closest the EDL has ever come to a sage.
Unlike his predecessors he’s actually committed to the League, rather than just in it to line his own pockets. He’s also a slick manipulator who’s very well versed in making a silk purse out of a pig’s ear. He’ll need that ability if he’s going to rescue the reputation of a pack of pissheads like the EDL. But even he seems to be finding it hard to put a positive spin on the recent, disastrous turnout in Dover.
In the aftermath of last Saturday’s South coast Demo, where the entire country’s combined fascist groupings failed to muster more than about 60 malcontents, the best Locke could think of to do was lie. Outnumbered by antifascists,most of the little gaggle of far right cockwombles cowered behind the Police until it was time for them to be escorted home. One of them even legged it through Police lines to the safety of arrest for his own protection. The few ‘hard men’ who decided to attack counter-protestors managed only to show themselves up for the vicious thugs they are before they too had to retreat to the safety of Police protection. It was an abject failure for the fash and everyone knows it.
So how did Locke respond to this monumental neo-nazi cock up? He claimed a startling success, pretending that the Dover debacle was the start of some fantasy fash fightback and threatened the outnumbering opposition for good measure. We’d say ‘you couldn’t make it up’ but Locke obviously did.
It can’t have been easy for poor little Paulie (why are so many of these people called ‘Paul’?) to lower his standards to something so unimaginative but when his compatriots let him down so badly he didn’t have much to work with.
We think you’d better get used to that Mr. Locke. These sad sacks will never be worthy of you. That doesn’t change the fact that you deserve them though.
The English Defence League, under the auspices of its new, post-Tommy leadership has decided to target Preston, that well-known hotbed of Islamic extremism for its next demonstration. Readers of this blog may well have heard of this fine, multicultural Northern town before.
Preston is the home town of those public-spirited, outstanding Muslim citizens who volunteered to put themselves out so much during December’s floods. They even drove 100 miles North to help out with evacuations, distribute food and donate money and bedding. These are the guys who raised over four thousand pounds down the local Mosque for flood victims in less than a week. These are the guys who demonstrated that renowned British spirit of helpfulness and selfless service to others. The fact that it’s also a foundational element of Islam may not be all that familiar to the drunken defenders of England but they should at least be able to recognise the generosity that they claim as their own.
On the other hand, we at EBF don’t remember reading anything at all about the selfless generosity of EDL members during those difficult times. We’d be happy to stand corrected if anyone can furnish us with newspaper articles about the EDL helping flood victims in their hour of need. Just post the links in the comments below. Go on – feel free.
And how will this noble and knightly order of the imbibing brethren honour the service of Preston’s Muslim community?
Will they contribute to the Mosque’s next charity appeal fund?
Will they write a letter to the newspapers in praise of Islamic selflessness?
Will they post a message of appreciation on their Facebook page?
We doubt it.
What they will do is go and make a nuisance of themselves next month, terrorising Preston’s Muslims and stirring up as much trouble as they can before nipping off for a beer and a punch up.
And they think of themselves as the embodiment of all that’s British.
We think they could learn an awful lot about Britishness and even about common decency and humanity from Preston’s Muslims. We don’t expect that they will though! Bleedin’ nazis!
