A Landlords apology by Landlord

Porridge Tommy Robinson prisonNope it doesn’t happen very often, in fact almost unheard of, but I am sorry.

I believed the hype, Goldibollocks and Screechy jailed, then I find Tommeh has gone down too, the world has just got better, only Hatie Slopkins for a full house and the ale would flow better than the Gypsy Wedding I have just dealt with(swap Guinness for ale though) I gave up, not fighting bigotry, racism and the like but I gave up, I had a few weeks of being with my kids, talking to my wife and not worrying about the shit that’s flying. I gave up caring about the cunt in the White House or what the cunt in 10 Downing Street is doing to fuck our lives up. In all honesty I became human again, Facebook was just an F on my phone, Twitter was a distant memory, my web history was 18+ viewing and not Islamophobia, my life became a bubble……..I gave up, I’d had enough, could no longer be arsed. But then I was shaken out of it, I’m back (ish). I hate bigotry, racism, bully’s, money grabbing fraudsters and wankstains so I’m not going away.

I hate the way social media has become a mouthpiece for hatred, I hate the way the right wing exploit this, I hate the way that you can block or report those that challenge your views, I hate the way Real Ale costs so much, I hate the way the Jeremy Kylers have taken celebrity to another level.

I play/ed sport to a high level..sportsmen and women are heroes. Not politicians, not right wing media whores but those that represent their country, not wankers who wrap themselves with the flag.

So Tommeh the hero, his fans go wild and Stephen Yaxley Lennon is now more famous than Harry Kane, Joe Root and Anthony Joshua. Or is he………

The gruesome twosome are in this for the cash l, no one can deny this, so who is SYL or syphilis as I like to call him… arrested, charged and jailed he ain’t a KFC bargain bucket. He’s a racist cunt, like Goldibollocks and Screechy but he’s a cleverer racist cunt. His rap sheet is mahoooooosive, from wife beating to mortgage fraud, it’s almost “if you’ve got a crime get me out of here. This is the SYL who has been filmed beating the shit out of fellow race goers, who was on tv as a racist cunt and is now languishing behind bars. Is there any difference between him and our favourite racist cunts……. nope.

Goldibollocks and Screechy are all about money, five faaaasand her for a van, five faaaasand there because our system was hacked, 20 faaaasand for court cases, the rap sheet goes on and on , and Stephen Yaxley Lennon( he hates us using this name)is exactly the same, but cuter

He uses Rebel TV as his mouthpiece, and from moles inside this he was defrauding them, he set up his own platform to con more money out of the sheeple, he is in love with For Britain and Anne Marie Waters, he WAS the leader of the EDL who apart from the NF, BNP and Combat 18 the most racist of Potato groups in this country. And he asks l, just like Screechy and Goldibollocks, for money. SYL, Goldibollocks and Screechy. Two cheeks of the same arse.

So here’s a promise to you here at EBF, I may not buy as many hobnobs, coffee and custard creams as I did, but I ain’t letting the cuntspangles off the hook for a minute.

Toodlepip

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A heartfelt apology by Landlord

EBF Fransen arrested.jpgI/we have an apology to make, in the two and a half years since I became an admin on Exposing Britain First I’ve never made an appeal but this week I’ve looked in petty cash, behind the sofa and all I found was 22p a half packet of hobnobs, a small jar of coffee, 33 mint imperials and a half packet of wine gums. The reason for looking……our irony machine and biffer outrage machines are fucked, they packed up and left the office sometime on Thursday and haven’t been seen since.

We urgently need twelvty million pounds or Ant, Foxy, Nemesis and Prole will be gently rocking in their office chairs and I and the others will bugger off down the pub to drink what is left of our funds.

Poppy outrage is over, mirth over as Goldibollocks tried to show reverence as he laid a wreath, at 4 o’clock and everyone else was tucking into their Sunday lunch or watching the Grand Prix. Reports that he was told he was not welcome at the actual parade are as yet unconfirmed.

Screechy meanwhile the upholder of all things British and on this most patriotic of days, conned the police so she didn’t have to sign on in Bromley and went, not to a Remembrance service, but to address a bunch of Polish Nazis. Biffer propaganda tried to spin it that she was talking to the 30000 Poles at their Independence Day rally when in actual fact she was speaking to a fringe of goose stepping Polish Fascists. Next time she says anything about Remembrance Day and patriotism she can only get a big fuck off from all over here.

With Remembrance Day done and dusted it wasn’t long before the next Biffer outrage, Tesco. Now I’m a grumpy fucker as the landlady can agree so my outrage at Tesco and others is that there are twelve days of Christmas and none of them are in fucking November but the biffer high command was incandescent with rage as Tesco had the audacity to put a Muslim family in their festive advertising, cue the biggest bigoted frothfest seen since, well since Remembrance weekend. Muslims celebrating Christmas, they spluttered it’s not possible. My next door neighbour is called Mo, his wife Fayez( I hope I have that right she’ll kill me if I don’t), and his kids are Muslim. He’s not devout as he enjoys the odd pint and bets on the Grand National but he attends the mosque every other day. He has already got his Christmas lights up on the house and as I write is going to buy a tree. You see they enjoy Christmas more than I do, they host a wonderful Christmas party which most of our road attend, invite my family round on Christmas Day. Someone needs to tell Screechy and Goldibollocks that the birth of Jesus has connotations in Islamic faith as much as it does Christianity. So to those fucknuggets at biffer high command, shove your outrage up your arse.

Outrage number two, and a video from Screechy. I can just see it now in biffer HQ, “we need to be outraged at something,” Goldibollocks and Screechy say, “read the newspapers, scan the airwaves find us something to screech at or else.” Then Steve sees it, tries to cover it up…….but it’s there……a sausage roll. A sausage fucking roll, but not any sausage roll, a Greggs pork sausage roll. The bakery chain held in high regard in biffer circles, had the audacity to make an advert with a sausage roll instead of Jesus in a nativity scene. Now I personally am a non believer, but if that outrages anyone then Christianity has gone to the dogs. I thought the advert was brilliant but the far right exploded in disgust. Greggs later pulled the advert but for fucks sake a sausage fucking roll upsetting the biffers……please.

There is going to be more outrage, that is without a doubt, so our poor biffer outrage machine needs replacing. Please please please, think of the admins, press the imaginary donate button and give generously. Maybe we may make our twelvty million target so Prole can go on a virtual holiday as she’s looking a bit pale recently, I can buy in a virtual barrel of ale and the others can have something better than Spar coffee.

Toodlepip