A view from a barstool #41 by Landlord

Beer 2Another week where the wife thinks I’m running off to Barbados with our barmaid as right wing hilarity reigns supreme. An even more right wing idiot takes over at UKRAP, the man in charge of Brexit says Britain will pay to be part of the single market even though the whole idea of leaving was to send no more money. There was another begging letter from our favourite wankpuffins, new policies have emerged from the same spunktrumpets and the biffers’ favourite ‘fair-minded’ news output lost one of it major backer’s. I really must read and listen to the right wing shenanigans whilst said barmaid is off.
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So to sum up the biffers week… There was a day of inaction in Nuneaton where, according to Screechy loads of locals turned up to support them although this was not borne out in fact or by empirical evidence. Even their own tired old video, with patriotic music and Screechy commentating showed a complete lack of interest. It showed the same old activists turning up to give out leaflets about some crap or other and trying to force their toilet paper on bemused Christmas shoppers. We at EBF felt for the activists so much we were thinking of having a whip round to buy them a few cardboard cutouts so they in turn could go and get some shopping done.
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There seems to be a deafening silence and lack of action outside the FA over the latest cases of child abuse. All here are sickened by any abuse from whatever race or religion, but the deafening silence from over at biffer high command just shows them for the hypocrites they are.
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I noticed they have a roadshow in the southeast, in Rotherhithe to be exact. The Lefty Landlord mafia don’t hold much truck over there leading me to believe it’s a hive of right wing activity and therefore  we can’t try to harass and cajole venues to kick them out. I believe 107 people have expressed an interest in going but I think after Screechy and her “security” turn up the number will be closer to that of which my 4 year old daughter can count up to comfortably. I could be wrong but I won’t be too far out.
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Whilst our erstwhile patriots are there they can partake in a buffet, a social afterwards and listen to Screechy talk shit about her favourite subject. Oh yes, and there is one other thing… This great, legitimate political party, you know the one with no MP’s no MEP’s, councillors or any other elected officials, is going to discuss their policies. Well I say policies – more like a racist diatribe that basically means any lefteyes, or Tories (leftwards according to them) will be rated as traitors and not tolerated in bifferdom. I won’t go through them all as the barmaid has returned but here’s a few of their unbudgeted, racist bollocks.
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Disbar followers of the Islamic ideology from holding public office, anyone found to be promoting the ideology of Islam to be deported or imprisoned.
Remove the right of choice for females.
Replace the present multi faith educational system with a predominant focus on Christianity and so on.
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Racist cuntwaffle is how I see it, reminiscent of policies see in 1930’s Germany.
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NEW YORK, NY – JUNE 25: A general view of atmosphere during the Kellogg’s Recharge Bar on June 25, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)

The final part of their policies lead me quite nicely on to Brietbart losing Kellogg’s as a sponsor and advertiser citing that Kellogg’s do not stand for the right wing mantra spewed by Brietbart. In reply to that Brietbart instead of talking to Kellogg’s chucked their toys out of the pram. I urge all of you to buy Kellogg’s products or at least leave a review on their pages. Brietbart if you are not aware are one of the biffers favourite news  sources and certainly fly very close to lying about Islam and anything slightly liberal. Which, in the case of biffers and their final policy, making it a crime to publish lies in the media will be totally laughable as any of their sources can be picked apart pretty rapidly to leave the prisons full of hacks.

Well that’s it in a nutshell. Laughable, stupid, dangerous, hypocritical and full of shit. That is how I see the biffers. Now I must take my leave I’ve been instructed by the landlady it’s time to decorate the pub and make it all christmassy. I don’t agree, but that’s because I’m a grumpy bugger not because I’m anti Christmas. Also my Muslim mate has agreed to help so there is no issue there.
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A view from a barstool #34 by Landlord

Beer 2Well there’s a thing, another week of lovely warm sunshine keeping winter at bay and I’m getting it in the neck from the Landlady for putting away the summer play things in the pub garden, I blame the weathermen who told me it was going to be a short Indian summer.

I have a question to ask. Are you ready for the Biffers silly season? Yep it’s that time again. As Autumn hits our shores the biffers propaganda ministry will go into overdrive. Muslims taking control of government and councils to harm all British patriots’ way of life. Hallowe’en, Remembrance Day, Christmas, the usual shit fuelled by the bastions of truth The Sun, Mail and Express.

So lets have a look at these Great British traditions one by one. These traditions that every year are supposedly shut down by Islamic leaders, every year we see hysterical headlines and social media statuses that are basically either downright lies or twist the story to such a degree that Muslims are made to be the evil ones fuelling an already slow burning hatred that has got worse since the referendum.

Hallowe’en, the day when parents all over the country, who normally wouldn’t let their kids go round knocking on doors or talking to strangers, allow their kids to do just that. This last year was supposedly banned in a lot of areas. It wasn’t in most places and where it was it was the police and councils fearing anti social behaviour. Again we saw headlines in the gruesome threesome and fuelled the hate.

Remembrance day – the day British Patriots adore as once more they can pretend to be more patriotic than the rest of us. Age old stories will be regurgitated, poppies being burnt, Muslims disrespecting the dead, Muslims stopping remembrance marches and Biffers adding security to armed forces cadets selling poppies.

BF NF EBF Paul Golding underpantsThe poppies were burnt, yes but a long time ago, the people doing it were dealt with there and then and they were rightly convicted and fined. It reminds me of the pictures I saw of a certain BNP racist cockwomble wandering around the cenotaph with a pair of Y-fronts om his head. If you havent seen this before this arsewipe has become leader of a “registered political” party.

Our memes last year documented the hundreds of thousands of Muslims who died protecting our freedom. Their relatives must be wondering why right now.

Finally, on Remembrance Day , or at least on the run up to the day Goldibollocks tells his shit troopers to go and “protect” the army of cadets who collect money for veterans from the hordes of lefties and Muslims that are out to desecrate the memories of the fallen. Except they don’t protect…..they hide away until any adults have gone off then get a selfie with the cadets, place it on Facebook and the dickwads that follow the page eat it up. The Biffers respect our fallen so much they sell tat, dressed up as British Legion merchandise and pocket the money for their own grubby means.

A friend of the page, John McKnight has been asking Goldibollocks where the money raised has gone. Ask yourself the question then, who disrespects the fallen more, Muslims, lefties, Foldibollocks or the biffers.

muslims ban christmas propaganda fail.jpgFinally Christmas, I don’t think there is a day goes by in November or December that a headline in the gruesome threesome, a meme or a link to an ultra right wing think tank that doesn’t say CHRISTMAS GETS CANCELLED. Now I don’t like Christmas apart from my coffers bulging but each to their own. The Muslims I know celebrate the day, maybe not as christians do but still give presents, invite friends for a cocktail or three (grrr not spending in my gaff) and generally enjoy the time as much as a certain grumpy landlord. Also, in the afternoon, Naz opens his store for forgotten things and fags. The reasons lights, decorations or trees don’t go up is not Muslims, grumpy landlords or athiests it’s because councils can’t afford it, health and safety or a myriad of other reasons.

MUSLIMS DO NOT WANT TO CANCEL CHRISTMAS!

But it doesn’t matter to Biffers. Any article in the propaganda sheets will be siezed upon and twisted for their own gain to keep the anti Muslim sentiment going.

I would offer a packet of toffee chocolate hobnobs if you manage to see a positive article about any of these but I checked EBF coffers and we seem only to have half a packet of midget gems, two packets of quavers, a bottle of Lambrini and a packet of hummus.

Now back to the job, putting back up the climbing frame, swings and benches…..wheres my hammer.

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That was restful

Quite a few people have contacted the Facebook page asking about me. They’d noticed that I hadn’t written anything for a few weeks and wanted to check that I was OK. That was really nice of them (they know who they are) and I want to thank them for their concern. I’m grateful to my colleagues at EBF for responding to them in my absence to put their minds at rest.

The truth is, I’ve been on holiday. Hubby and I took the girls off to my hometown, a beautiful cathedral city in the East Midlands for Christmas. We visited relatives and friends and even got to take our beautiful daughters to local sites and museums describing our shared heritage from the past. They’re getting to be old enough to appreciate that stuff now.
The city still bears the evidence of Roman and Viking settlements, of Saxons and Normans, of Jewish traders and of more modern influxes of people like the Poles and other East Europeans who fled occupied Europe during World War 2.

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And as we went around these places it struck me just how ridiculous it is for any modern British citizen to argue about race, religion or national identity as though it’s something we can isolate and separate from the rest of the world. So I bought myself a little exercise book and I took notes. There was a blog forming in my head.

Britain First pretends that it’s easy to tell who is who. The Biffers pretend that ‘ethnic English’ is actually a thing when in truth we all bear the historical hallmarks of regional and international influences.
The black African auxiliaries who fought with the Roman armies left their mark alongside the Anglo-Saxons who settled here from Germany. Vikings from Scandinavia spread across the continent and settled in the North and East of the country. Apparently there’s more Viking blood in this neck of the woods than there is in any other part of England.

The main shopping centre in my home city is built on the site where a Viking longship used to lie buried in the mud. I can still remember my dad showing me photographs of it when I was just a little girl. I didn’t understand why he was so excited about it at the time. I do now.

Other parts of the country have different influences. The South West has almost no Viking at all so in the racial purity stakes I have to wonder what would happen to the good people of Somerset and Cornwall. Would they be with us or against us? More to the point – who the Hell are ‘us’?

Middle-Eastern Jews came here fleeing persecution from the Christian crusaders who didn’t quite know who they were supposed to be fighting. That didn’t work out too well for them. Within a couple of hundred years their flourishing community was persecuted by the locals alongside their relatives in more famous massacres like that in York. But not before they’d left their mark on the gene pool.

On the top of the hill, the only proper hill in town, stands the magnificent Norman castle. It’s a testament to the French invaders who beat back the earlier German invaders to make this land their home. They had a big influence on the gene pool too. Across a little courtyard is a three-arched gateway called Exchequergate. That leads to the Norman cathedral where Christians went to pray. They still do.

It’s where believers go to meet, to practice their faith and to hear sermons about peace, love, charity and remember stories of God’s grace like that parable of The Good Samaritan – you know – the one who helped a foreigner even though he was himself persecuted. This is where they learn about the biblical instruction to love thy neighbour – something that Biffers like Jim Dowson try to distort into a grotesque version of selfish, cruel, hateful barbarism.

I remember attending services there myself on occasion. I’m not a Christian myself, more of an agnostic but I still used to enjoy the midnight service at the Cathedral. The whole, huge interior seemed to flood with feelings of love and peace, kindness and goodwill to our fellow humans. We took the girls this year to hear the Bishop give a sermon. I was moved as usual – I think my little princesses’ experience was more a combination of boredom and exhaustion. They had just spent the day being told how much they’d grown by a very long succession of friends and relatives as we went house to house throughout the city. I’m not sure what Hubby took from it. The religion he grew up with is different and although he feels just as much at home in a Christian Cathedral I’m sure there were things he thought a little strange. He doesn’t talk much about religion though so I haven’t asked. Perhaps he’ll tell me once he’s read this blog.

Morning chapelWe travelled home yesterday. It was about time. But before we did I managed to steal an hour for myself and rekindled an old habit of mine. Yesterday I went back to that beautiful Norman cathedral and sat quietly in the little ‘Morning chapel’, just off the main body of the Cathedral. It’s always been a place of calm and quiet for me, not for religious reasons – just because it is. There’s something reassuring about that place. It lets me clear my head and ‘find myself’. It always has.

I sat there in my old bolt hole and reviewed my life, what’s important to me and what I should be doing with my life right now. Family matters. Especially the girls. But beyond those I love the most I experienced an intense feeling of purpose about what we’re doing here at EBF. I won’t say I’ve never felt anything like that before but I will say it’s not something I’ve experienced often. I don’t know if it was the Morning Chapel itself that brought it on, the effect of having a couple of weeks break from the blog I’ve been writing for almost constantly since last Spring or something more spiritual. I’ve really no idea. But I do know that the hour I spent in my favourite spot recharged my batteries for another round of fash-fighting.

Come on 2016, let’s do this! I’m a woman with a purpose!

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A view from a barstool #3

Beer 2Well another week over and a good week for me, the Mixed Pool team won their first game of the season without Beryl who decided to give darts a go, the horse picture to the left of the board now has a few holes in it. Next summers Booze Sales should be good with England, Northern Ireland and Wales all through and the Republic of Ireland in the playoffs. The pub is already discussing who should or should not be selected. I’m more worried about the HobGoblin barrels waiting in the cellar for serving.

So another week in Bifferland, another mix of lies, more lies and misleading memes and photo’s. Firstly a blonde Brazilian model with a flying helmet in Brazilian colours posing in front of a Brazilian training plane suddenly transposed herself into Captain Balislava who bombed ISIS. What else, oh yes the poppy stories are coming out of the woodwork, a boy who was sacked for refusing to take his poppy off whilst serving in KFC, commendable, patriotic, nope, this is a disregard for food hygiene, KFC in my opinion is inedible but a pin or poppy in my chicken would lead to claims against the company. Also KFC said he had resigned before the incident.

There appears to be a Russian love in at the moment over at biffer towers, anything Putin does is marvellous, apart from shaking the hand of Lewis Hamilton on Sunday that’s bad, as Britain’s top F1 driver doesn’t particularly like the biffers after the use of a photo of his dog. Immigrants are still bad and God is Great.

Folding and Dutchy are over in Hungary, how I wish they’d stay there, appearing to be all statesmanlike talking to other likeminded groups… actually they are there with Euro Fascists discussing how to bring the New World Order into being. More likely is a Biffer begging bowl going round the other fash.

There’s a march taking place this weekend, well there are 3 that I can see, all of which are being countered. The Biffers are in Burton, now under police orders, EDL in Scarborough and a load of angry racists are in Bristol.

Some hardy Veterans took part in the Front Line walk last weekend 104km over three days, including regular video blogger and hater of all thing biffer John McKnight and someone close to this page. Congratulations, my donation is on it’s way and I hope many of you will donate as well.

Union flagFinally a group of publicans who were on the same course of mine many years ago had our “Christmas bash” and as usual the talk turned to what’s wrong with the world. Unfortunately this usually ends up in a drunken talk about who is seeing who, and how we are being screwed by everyone. But this year was different, we discussed something close to my heart racism, Britain First, the EDL and Casuals and all the other little shitty bigoted little Englanders and how we as publicans can fly our flag with (London) pride. You see, we are patriotic, we love our wonderful diverse, multicultural country, the towns, the countryside, sporting events, good beer and most of all our sense of community. We thought nothing of putting our flags, our bunting and celebrating our saint’s day but now we can’t. We don’t identify with our flag anymore, it’s been stolen by racists and to adorn our premises seems to be showing the community we are linked with these bigoted cockwombles. But we have had enough, we are going to take our flag back, open our bars to the community as a whole and get out there and let people know we are proud to be British but our Britain multicultural and tolerant. Watch this space because we are going to follow these groups and contact publicans in the area they march and try and get them not to allow them to drink there under a part of the licensing act.

Well must sign off now as I’m trying to get to the bottom of a barrel so I can put said Hobgoblin on, Bazzer is back to talking about the formations again, George is discussing the pack sizes of the Welsh and New Zealand rugby teams and Beryl has come in and I need to clear an exclusion zone around the dart board.

So to those going to Burton this weekend including a few admins of this page, have fun, stay safe and heckle the shit out of these arsewipes.

Cheers

Landlord