Good day to you my unfurry two legged friends I hope I find you all in good spirits. I have been inundated with fan mail this week after my brief appearance on THE comedy show of the year, We Want Our Country Back. Our country? It’s every beings’ country, even Fat Boris, that one eyed stinking moggy from number 34 who I’m sure took a dump outside my kennel the other day when I was out on a stroll. Pollock,by the taste.
Anyway, I guess it was a case of right time, right place when I happened to bump into those horrible biffer people. I smelled them on the pavement outside that big building where the people with daft grey hairstyles go in and out (what’s that all about then? ) and I wandered over to say hello, being the friendly little chap I am. As I got nearer the incessant screeching really irritated my sensitive ears so I shouted and shouted back. The one in the shiny cheap suit kept telling my mate to shut me up but that just made me angry so I shouted back more. I had my mouth clamp put on but I really wouldn’t have bit them, I don’t like bad meat, Pedigree Chum is much classier. I could have savaged that fat one who smelt like lard though when he threatened to take my mates jaw off, the useless stinking git.
I hear they’re complaining that they were set up…..ah it’s a dogs life innit?
News from the office this week -I’m still trying to convince Kit to take me on the train to Burton, I want to out-howl the shrieking one whilst dragging my backside over the ground in front of her and maybe leave a dirty protest or two by the battle trolley.
EBF Blogger keeps threatening me with a trip to the vets to be castrated (what’s that? ) it’s hardly my fault delicious oaty chocolatey nuggets of goodness are left in reach is it?
Also Landlord still hasn’t ordered in that barrel of Pedigree Dirty Sheep Chaser I keep whining for.
Okay my lovely chums it’s time I skiddadled, I’m off to hump Yifters leg to cheer him up.
Until next time, many wags,