Hello all, a tired and very hungover Landlord travelled back to his pub from Somerset and decided to call in to Hobnob central or more commonly known as EBF towers. After the obligitary telling off for not bringing any oaty snacks as I only had a packet of twiglets and a couple of opal fruits in the car, I started to have a look through what the biffers have got up to.
After 15 minutes of trawling through the absolute lies and intimidatory bullshit through bleary bloodshot eyes I decided my round up this week wouldn’t be a roundup at all but a run through of the last evening that the Antifa Landords came up with during one of our shandy drinking binges (well one of us was drinking lager top). It decended into farce later on but thats another story. But before our session was over we had thought of a wonderful new reality TV program that one of us will send to channel 5, the working title is bigot first.
We found 6 people hungry for cash and media time found a house in one of those Donald Trump no go areas, or Britain as we like to call it, and left the cameras on. When we could be bothered we’d go back and check a) if they were still alive, b)if they had finished the Halal meat we left for them and c)if any of them had used any of the stock bigot phrases yet.
Day one. The introductions of the 6, Dutchy a feisty,somewhat scary woman,Goldibollocks, a suit wearing shouty man, Dim Jowson a bespectacled elderly gent nicknamed “uncle”, Pieman a rather rotund chap, who appears to say he wants to “take the jaws off people” if he’s not keeping the owners of Greggs in toilet paper, little Tommy R or whatever his name may be, he changes it every week, but another shouty man, and finally someone dressed in chainmail, helmet and tinfoil sword who calls himself Kay Tee I or something like it.
After the introductions the contestants went to their Dorms, one for Dutchy and one for the chaps. “I’m not staying in here it would be like the bloody muzzies segregating men and women” she said, “ah” said Uncle and Kay Tee, “but in our sect women are not equal either.”Goldibollocks was heard to say “no christian rumpy here then”.
As we disappeared down the pub, watching a bunch of bigots is not our cup of tea, we heard the beds scraping and the sound of pieman shouting “I’ll take your fucking jaw off if you don’t move these beds so they are facing North, I’m not sleeping facing Mecca” Tommy laughed.
1800, Jayda is in the kitchen making dinner, Uncle said it was her job Kay Tee agreed whilst Pieman wondered if his 50p off voucher at a well known bakers would still be valid when he got out. “I can’t cook this” the harridan screeched “look it’s got HMA on it, our page said not to it’s fucking halalalalalal.” Pieman said “does that mean all of it is, this water, banana, aaaaaaaaaaah it’s a lefty plot Exposing Britain First have left halal hobnobs in here” Tommy said in his best English “fook it I’ll eat it, just don’t tell Pegida or the EDL or the English Democrats or whoever I’m in charge of this week” and so they didn’t eat.
1845 time for bed, the paytrioots decided that as they can’t eat or drink anything as it’s all halal, all they can do is sleep, the production team decided not to tell them all that oxygen is halal too, that would be too funny…..
Day 2, and our bigots are all awake, so hungry that Kay Tee stood guard over them incase Pieman turned to bigot on toast. The production team (I’ll call them EBF for now) decided to send in Muslim kryptonite, a pack of bacon and a couple of crates of Stella, we want to laugh at them not kill them, we’re sympathisers not extremists after all.
1200, Bacon and Stella consumed, EBF called Goldibollocks into the diary room and offered him the chance to meet dutchy in a snooker hall (well room) while the others decorate the room with security windows, panic alarms and give them all black shirts with bodycams on.
1300, after an hour of “feeling normal” Dutchy and Golding are back with the group, suddenly a dog appears and starts to bark as Uncle begins a sermon and Tommy tries to write another bargain bucket best seller(on sale at poundland in a month) Kay Tee is kneeling waiting to be Templared, Pieman is running round threatening the dog with taking his fucking jaw out, Goldilocks and Dutchy are doing traditional daisy chains on the lawn.
1500, EBF have decided that all this is a bit nice so send in the first task. Making a nativity scene using only the finest goods from Harrods..although a couple of EDF took the labels off in case the name started a fight. After building the stables and manger, decorating it with straw they began on the disciples, or sheep as we like to call them.
1530, the Dutchy screech is heard…”get these islamic figures out of my nativity scene. They was English I tell ya, not rag ed’s at all and Joseph and Mary were WHIIIIITE!!!!.” Her eyes were bulging. Tommy said “calm down Dutchy” he said “it’s all a lefty plot, they really are just suntanned, not from the Middle East. It’s the same with St George he’s from Peckham really” Uncle continued to rock back and forth quoting the scriptures, Kay Tee is practicing his sword work with his £59.99 sword bending in the wind, Goldibollocks is on the calculator trying to work out how he and Dutchy an afford a trip to bigot land, or Trump Towers as we like to call it.
1531 it starts to rain.
1800, As the rain continues a flood ensues, Uncle tells all who would listen that it is because of the refugees, “it must be true I read it in our bible” he says and pulls out a copy of the Daily Mail.
1825, EBF call pieman into the diary room. After playing sounds of Gaspode barking, he threatens to “take our fucking jaws off” we hand him a letter from the Landlord of the property, Mr Shah who threatens our gallant bigots with eviction if they don’t pay £87 in rent. EBF also gave them a mobile phone to try and raise the cash.
1835, Uncle and Kay Tee have put out an appeal, with a picture saying ” The Templars on a fact finding mission to Serbia, working for you.” Tommy sent an appeal out to the EDL to storm the place but didn’t hold out too much hope as it was a Friday and Kebab and Stella night. Pieman gave his 50p voucher whilst Dutchy and Goldibollocks send a post out to the gullible along the lines of “Lefty plot to stop your leaders from their democratic rights to stay in a house. We have instructed our legal team to take on this lefty plot but you know how expensive this is, we really don’t want to ask you but if you could chip in to help us keep our freedoms. We need £5000 by morning, please dig deep.”
Day 3, Begging update, Uncle and Kay Tee have raised a grand total of nothing, Tommy had a couple of “I love you mate” an offer of a piss up and a chance to write another book, Pieman had raised 50p but his threats to take off a fucking jaw wouldn’t put him good stead. However Goldibollocks and Jayda had made the amount but told everyone they had made nothing, when EBF looked at the history on the phone, Thompsons Holidays was the last entry.
1200, the tension amongst the crowd waiting outside Bigot House is palpable, several police forces sent reinforcements as Bigot first’s events page showed 7500 coming. Numbers are amazing, at least 139 people were there, the police love the overtime.
1205, the Bigots emerge, victory is theirs, Uncle holds his bible aloft, Kay Tee holds his sword, Tommy has a stupid gring on his face, Pieman, spots a kebab van and falls over trying to get there first. Goldibollocks and Dutchy are asking for money for exclusive interviews, except to the lefty media which is everyone apart from the Fail.
1210 the crowd disperses, EBF come out of the house pissing themselves in laughter.
With apologies to whoever does another program on channel 5.
What sort of political party targets heavily multicultural areas with anti-Muslim leaflets trying to stir up racial and religious tensions?
What sort of political party needs to run fighting classes for its activists?
What sort of political party needs to invest in paramilitary gear?
What sort of political party runs an anti-Muslim organisation (KTI) that wants to start a modern Crusade against Islam?
What sort of political party wants to hang political opponents?
What sort of political party needs to radicalise children into racism and hatred?
What sort of political party advocates a ‘white breeding’ campaign?
What sort of political party has to photoshop images to distort the truth?
What sort of political party tries to develop a street army because they can’t get elected democratically?
What sort of party would that be?
We’re sure we’re not the only ones who’ve long wondered just what the Britain First claims about the long-unavailable ‘CRB’ check is all about. On one level, of course it’s just funny. They’re so out of touch that they can’t even use the right term in their lies. The Criminal Records Bureau (CRB) check has been unavailable for years. It’s been replaced as part of the wider overhaul of Safeguarding legislation in favour of the new Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) check.
The point of the DBS check is to ensure that organisations working with vulnerable groups (health, social services, childrens’ workers, teachers etc) don’t unwittingly employ people who present a risk to the vulnerable people they work with. It’s a highly confidential service and only relevant organisations have access to the information revealed by the check.
One reason for this is because the DBS check doesn’t just rely upon public domain records of convictions. It also includes police intelligence, spent convictions, suspicions and even potential guilt by association. This is because the risk to vulnerable people outweighs the obvious difficulties associated with barring people who may not have been convicted of any crime from working in particular professions. It’s not always fair but the government thinks it’s better than letting people who are likely to be criminal have unrestricted access to easily exploitable potential victims.
Just think about that for a moment though. DBS checks provide information about people who may be completely innocent. That’s justifiable when the checks are used to protect the most vulnerable. It’s not justifiable to use it to decide whether or not a person can be affiliated to a political party. The fact that someone may or may not have a criminal record has no impact upon their right to hold a political viewpoint or to join a Facebook group. There is no legitimate reason for Britain First (a political party) to vet its members through DBS. No political party has access to the DBS checking system. The list of organisations that can access the list is here. It’s easy to see that Britain First would never be able to fulfil these functions. Therefore – they have no access to DBS.
So why on earth would the Biffers want us to think they use DBS (or CRB, since they’re so out of date)? We think that’s obvious.
Claiming to perform these checks provides an air of official respectability. If people think the Biffers are performing DBS checks they may think that they’re somehow more legitimate than they are with their secret Facebook groups. As if such a group could ever be legitimate. It reminds us of the childrens’ ‘I-Spy’ club that some of Team EBF were members of as kids. In return for our parents paying our subscription we received a certificate of membership, a badge proclaiming that we were fully-fledged international spies and the opportunity to buy lots of I-Spy books at no discount. It was essentially worthless in real terms but it made gullible children, desperate to belong to something they thought was ‘special’ feel good. It’s very possible that membership of the Britain First Armed Forces Division is just as insignificant, appealing to the immature, the easily led, the gullible and to those most desperate to ‘belong’. It may well be no more significant than that. That’s what Knights’ Templar International is about and the BFAFD may be no different.
But maybe… just maybe…
Let’s assume that Britain First has a more sinister motive than just making money. Let’s assume that they want to recruit potential terrorists as part of some illegal militia. It wouldn’t be the first time that the British far right has set up their own private ‘armies’. Moseley did it with the British Union of Fascists (BUF) before it was disbanded and the man himself imprisoned. The National Front (NF) did it with the subversive violent, mobile thugs of the ‘Inter-city wrecking crew’ and ‘Combat 18’ and who could forget the violent ‘Infidel’ groups formed under the umbrella of the English Defence League’ (EDL)?
It’d be no surprise if Golding had similair aspirations. We know he’s violent – he’s even posted videos of himself to remove all doubt. We know his black-shirted ‘security’ thugs are very happy to assault those who get in their way – there are plenty of videos demonstrating that on line too. We also know that Golding has delusions of grandeur and a tendency to reach far beyond his grasp.
The attempt to set up an illegal political militia (Like Hitler’s Brown-shirted SA) would be right up his street. The claim to have access to CRB/DBS would encourage prospective militiamen to self-identify as violent thugs from the outset, thus allowing Golding to know who to recruit into their secret hit-squad bullshit group.
If they want to join BF they are, by definition already sympathetic to the group’s fascist aims.
The disclosure part of the application form identifies the most violent and unscrupulous.
The secret Facebook group provides a means of communication.
Either that or it’s no different from Knights’ Templar International (KTI) and the Tufty club!
This week we heard the terrible news that a vicious, unprovoked sword attack on a school in Trollhattan, Sweden had left two people dead and three more seriously injured. When the story broke little was known about the identity or the motives of the killer – simply that a maniac had entered the school and attacked both pupils and teachers, apparently indiscriminately.
Britain First, always on the lookout for a progaganda coup, responded quickly. And it didn’t take long before their obedient supporters began to take the bait. Dowson, Fransen and Golding have already pre-programmed the Biffers to assume every act of violence must be the fault of Muslim aggression. Britain First doesn’t even need to say it any more – just give the context of aggression and let their well-trained indoctrinated flock make the link for them.
The post was quickly removed from the Britain First Knight’s Templar International Facebook page once the reality became clear. Unsurprisingly enough, there has been no subsequent mention of it on any of the other Biffer pages so far as we can tell either. There are many pages under Biffer control, pages where they could have reported the truth, had they wanted to, including KTI (where the above meme first appeared).
Britain First and KTI both deny that there is any connection between them but we know better than to believe that. The rank and file Biffer foot-soldiers may be too stupid to notice all the indoctrination and financial fleecing but the rest of us see it very clearly indeed.
Anton Lundin Pettersson, a 21 year old Swedish loner with no current or previous connection to Kronan school. He was a far right, neo-nazi who had fallen for the anti-immigrant, anti-Islam rhetoric of the ‘Sweden Democrats’, an extreme right wing political party. Like so many other far right groups, the Sweden Democrats use the same tactics of radicalising their followers on line and then sitting back whilst the sheep they have groomed go off and commit atrocities. So many of these attacks involve far right loners who are vulnerable targets for the likes of the Sweden Democrats and Britain First.
“He marches through the corridor with his weapons – a large sword and a large, sharp knife. He chose his victims. Those with dark-skin were attacked. He met with lighter-skinned people who were not attacked,” police investigator Thord Heraldsson told Aftonbladet.
Their gullible followers are like ticking time bombs with little more than a circumstantial link to implicate the neo-Nazis who primed them to explode.
Their own predictable destruction (Pettersson himself was shot dead at the scene by armed police) makes it even more difficult to link the crime to its true instigators, the extremist far right propagandists who convince them about a war against ordinary Muslims, refugees and immigrants that doesn’t really exist.
Pettersson left a note (now treated as a suicide note) in which he explained his motives. According to the Swedish police he had targeted those whom he considered to be ‘foreigners’ and objected to Sweden’s policy of accommodating refugees. His targets seem to have been chosen by skin colour. He had contact with several white-skinned pupils and staff at the school whom he left alone. He even paused for photographs with white-skinned pupils who thought his ridiculous costume, reminiscent of a WW2 German army uniform was some sort of Halloween stunt.
The incident is just one more in a series of hate crimes that testify to the impact of online radicalisation by extremist right wing groups. Groups like Britain First whose behaviour (in common with other groups who encourage terrorism from the safety of their computer keyboards) has become increasingly extremist, inciting more and more violent behaviour over the last year.
But it doesn’t stop there. Over in the US, Britain First is currently working on a new type of incitement. ‘Knights Templar International Texas’, an offshoot of Knights Templar International which is itself an offshoot of Britain First (all of these are controlled by Golding and Dowson) is actually forming an armed militia to prosecute Holy War. BF’s British contingent is largely comprised of namby-pamby keyboard warriors but the Americans have a long-standing and very different relationship with gun-related crime. Texas, one of the American far right’s traditional strongholds, is fertile ground from which to develop a new anti-Muslim militia. Especially when the group floods their Facebook pages with deliberately fictional horror stories and out of context photographs in propaganda like this.
When we see the anti-Muslim, anti-refugee agenda that characterises both BF and KTI, together with the attempt to start real, on the ground ‘units’ of armed extremists it isn’t difficult to predict where all this is heading.
It’s easy to pretend that the awful tragedy of Kronan School was just an isolated incident. But we think there’s much more to it. We think that Anton Lundin Pettersson was radicalised on line by extremist neo-Nazis. We think that makes this gullible young man just as much a victim as those he slaughtered in that Swedish school.
We think that Britain First and its offshoots are engaged in the same basic activity – they radicalise gullible people by convincing them that a war is going on where no such conflict actually exists. Of course, as much as anything they do this for money. They extort donations under false pretences, they divert money from legitimate charities and they sell exorbitantly priced merchandise (ironically, made in foreign sweatshops) but their pathological hatred for non-whites is real too. Britain First knows that their livelihood comes at the expense of victims such as those in Trollhattan but so long as the money keeps rolling in they really don’t care.
The longer these people are allowed to continue spreading their hatred the closer this country will come to the next attack. We’ve already seen some appalling crimes, not least the vicious murder of an elderly Muslim man in Rotherham – an innocent local elder beaten to death by three young neo-Nazis whilst on his way to the Mosque for prayers.
How long will the UK shrug off these atrocities, be they domestic or foreign before we proscribe Britain First and the rest of their ilk?
We say – Proscribe Britain First now! Prosecute the extremist ring-leaders who are the cause of so much misery and destruction. Prevent further betrayal and radicalisation of gullible British citizens just to fill Dowson, Fransen and Golding’s pockets with the next 30 pieces of silver.
We’ve had a few people in the EBF inbox asking this lately. And it’s a fair question. How have this bunch of inadequate cockwombles managed to get such a presence on Facebook?
Well, it’s complicated so bear with us. You might want to put the kettle on, make yourself a nice cuppa in your EBF mug, grab a few Hobnobs to sustain you and get comfy. This will take a while.
Biffers post to Facebook around 250 times a week. That’s a huge amount to flood the net with. It’s something of a ‘numbers game’. The more you speculate the more you accumulate. The more posts they put out there the more likes they attract.The Biffers post a lot of emotive and fairly superficial stuff. They target visceral emotional responses rather than encourage actual, considered opinion. Posts demanding that we ‘hang paedophiles’ or ‘save Puppies’ create emotional responses and that’s what they’re relying upon.
The instruction to ‘share if you agree’ just increases their reach and enhances the numbers game they play so well. Add to this an appeal to tradition, to the things that many Brits see as quintessentially ‘us’ like respect for war heroes or Facebook likes for Prince William and you have a powerful formula. That’s what we mean by ‘click bait’.
Every like, share or comment is shown on the news feed of every person on that persons friend list. ‘So and so liked this’, ‘so and so shared this’ and so on. That’s a powerful psychological driver – it promotes the idea that Britain First is accepted by our friends and that makes us more likely to see them in a positive light too.
They publish a lot of ‘survey’ posts such as ‘should we leave the EU?’ These fake surveys invite Facebook users to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Actually Britain First couldn’t care less what the results of the survey might be – it’s the social media ‘reach’ they’re after. Every comment goes on friends’ news feeds and encourages further discussion and acceptance of Britain First as an organisation.
Britain First sponsors posts. This means they pay Facebook to promote their posts under suggested likes or interests. It means they get to news feeds potentially untapped. That’s why Britain First posts, surveys and memes appear on the Facebook feeds of people who’ve never heard of them before.
The Biffers have many feeder pages that they share all of their material with and vice versa. If you look overnight you will see BF share a lot of Knights Templar International or English and Proud posts. These posts tend to be hidden during the daytime. This taps into the USA, Australian and Canadian feeds. The more likes, shares, comments and reach, the more Facebook takes an interest and helps to keep Britain First in people’s feeds.
If you visit their website you will be greeted first with a pop up ‘survey’ question linked to the Biffers’ Facebook account.. You may be asked “Should Britain deport terrorists and hate preachers?” with the option to press either ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Remember that Britain First doesn’t care how you answer – it’s the reach they’re after.
If you respond you improve their standing with Facebook. That’s important because Facebook’s promotion algorithm is based upon existing hits and interactions. The more you have, the more exposure you get. These pop ups continue for as long as you’re on the BF site. It’s intrusive but effective. Presumably people click ‘yes’ or ‘no’ just to close the pop up but that still registers with Facebook, increases reach and enhances future exposure for Britain First.
Biffers use many ‘sock puppet’ accounts on sites across social media. We know this because sometimes the Biffer admins forget to sign in and out and end up having obvious (and ridiculous) arguments with themselves. Often when one person says something controversial, others will follow. Suddenly it becomes a place for people to ‘say what they think with agreement’. Those who disagree with the Britain First point of view are blocked from commenting so the overall impression is of a popular movement that everyone agrees with. People who can’t get anyone to agree with their neo’nazi racism (they’re in such a minority in the real world) suddenly begin to feel validated. And all without leaving the comfort of their computer chair!
Britain first pays Facebook and Facebook associated companies to boost posts, enhance reach and even buy likes. They also share likes between their many ‘feeder pages’, all of which eventually end up counting toward the main Biffer page.
That’s why they have around a million Facebook likes and counting. It’s creative accounting, cynical marketing, paid-for likes and persistently flooding the internet with click bait, sock puppet debate and overnight posts intended for our American and Australian counterparts.
But for all their apparent Facebook popularity they don’t do nearly so well when it comes to getting real boots on real ground. Most Biffer rallies struggle to muster 100 people. Actual, real world support is very limited but the combination of bought likes, clickbait shares and the rest creates a very convincing impression of popularity. No matter how big and strong they appear online though, those misleading, over-inflated stats mean nothing in the real world, except…
…If they appear bigger, stronger and more popular than they are then they will eventually gain some real world support too. Their Facebook page is essentially an echo chamber. Dissent is deleted to the extent that only one (Nazi) view remains. This misrepresents the neo-nazism of Britain First as the only ‘right point of view’.
We know that Britain First’s co-founder, Jim Dowson has a wealth of experience as a marketer, publicist and political fundraiser. Fuhrer Biffer, Paul Golding was BNP press officer until he and Dowson left the party in 2011 to found Britain First. These people have skills and, laughing stock though they are, we’d be wrong to underestimate their influence.
You have to love the High Court! The injunction issued last month has had the effect we all knew it would. It’s wonderful to see just how easily the allegedly ‘brave’ and unconvincingly ‘patriotic’ Fuhrer, Folding Golding has been muzzled.
Just look at this lovely little offering from the Biffers’ own website…
Those brave boys at Britain First have bottled it again. Before the injunction they were all in favour of using their ‘useful idiots’ to stir up racial and religious tension, cause a bit of a ruck and then, of course, exploit the resulting unrest to claim anti-Christian victimisation from all those evil Mooselimbs!
And it wasn’t just the organisation – on a more personal level, Der Fuhrer was all in favour too.
But that was before the High Court told him to stop being a divisive, racist, Islamophobic scumbag! And it really is about race just as much as it’s about religion…
This statement from Britain First actually copies the earlier statement issued by Uncle Jim’s other money-making scheme, ‘Knights Templar International’. We wrote about that here.
Is Britain First repositioning itself in preparation for Lewis and Mandy’s rumoured coup?
Is Dowson grooming Folding and Dutchy’s successors and shifting direction for the rank and file Biffers themselves in advance?
It’ll take a bit of doing to persuade the ‘useful idiots’ that Folding hasn’t bottled it as he keeps on climbing down like this. A couple of new (but still familiar) faces at the helm would explain the shift in direction very nicely though.
We think that might well explain the ‘dual nature of BF’s recent activities. On the one hand they’re still posting stuff in breach of the High Court injunction. That’ll get Dutchy and Folding out of the way. It’ll even make martyrs of them to boot when the judge sends them down at the next hearing. That’s a 100% win for Dowson. He’ll get a couple of martyrs to play with and he’ll free himself from their incompetence and posturing as well.
On the other hand, is Britain First following KTI’s lead and issuing appeasing statements in preparation for Lewis and Mandy’s takeover following the expected imprisonment of the current leadership? Is this just another ‘long game’ intended to manipulate the gullible ‘useful idiots’ who pay Dowson’s bills?
One thing’s for sure – Folding and Dutchy have made themselves pretty damn toxic as a brand. EBF suspected that was Dowson’s plan anyway the moment he pretended to distance himself from Britain First. The Fuhrer and his Deputy were just the stooges. They were only there to act as mouthpieces for Dowson and to take the fall once it got too ‘hot’ with the legal establishment. Their role was to build up a group of paying racists and assorted Nazis before getting sent down to leave Dowson to profit from their rabble-rousing with a more moderate (but still very profitable) change of direction.