Simple solutions to complex problems

Every complex problem has a simple solution – and it’s always wrong!

The current refugee crisis is the result of a complex conspiracy of circumstances involving geo-politics, financial exploitation, religious tensions, racial stereotyping and opportunist extremism. That’s exactly the sort of complicated melting-pot of variables that Britain First is least equipped to comprehend. But that doesn’t stop the Biffers from wading in with their ill-conceived suggestions.

BF Greece refugees header

It’s hard to imagine just how desperate you would need to be to leave everything you have and walk across hostile territory to a foreign land, risking death from exhaustion, exposure, drowning or even kidnap and slavery along the way. We at EBF freely admit that we just cannot imagine how that must feel – and we count ourselves fortunate because of it.

Such desperation is far beyond our experience. All we really know is that the decent thing, the compassionate thing (and for those of us who believe, the Christian thing) is to help our fellow humans in their hour of need.

Let’s have a look at what the ‘Christian’ Biffers want to do. How would they handle the situation?

BF Greece refugees comments 1

It seems that they have a very different view of Christian charity from the rest of us. It’s small wonder that every single British church group has condemned their rhetoric and their actions in no uncertain terms.

BF Greece refugees comments 2

These are not the considered, measured words of intelligent, caring leaders. These are not the attitudes of people we would want to ‘take our country back’ from its current, compassionate state. These are not the ‘elite’ defenders of British values that Dutchy would have us believe. These are callous, hypocritical, ill-informed, bloodthirsty, fascist scum.

These are the people who must never gain power in UK.

BF Greece refugees comments 3

It’s easy to come up with simple solutions when you have no real responsibility for solving the problem. Just like their followers, Fuhrer Golding and Dutchy Fransen have no real world authority (Fransen managed only 56 votes in the Rochester and Strood by-election and Britain First didn’t even stand a candidate in the last General Election). They’re not even a party in opposition – they’re a party with absolutely no elected representatives at any level in UK. They don’t even have any parish councillors (the lowest level of British government)!

So they can spout whatever jingoistic rubbish they like without ever having to think about how to make it work or the damage their ridiculous policies would cause. That’s the one great advantage of powerlessness. You never have to prove what you say – you just keep on saying it and your followers, at least those stupid enough to remain your followers, will believe it and repeat it.

There’s a simple solution to every complex problem. And it’s always wrong!

BF Greece refugees comments 4

View from a cellar 6

Beer 2Another weekend, another load of racist cockwombles taking to the streets in mass (hahahahahahahahaha) demonstrations. I haven’t stopped laughing since I saw the photo’s and although not condoned, missiles were thrown. Dependent on what view you read it was either them or Antifa.

The North West Infidels decided to try and give out misinformation about where the demonstrations would be, invited a load of Polish Nazi’s over to take Liverpool, trying to fool Anti Nazi’s that they were to shuffle in Manchester. Unfortunately for the fucknuggets, EDL, Infidels and National Action social media accounts are so riddled with Antifa insiders around 300 anti protesters turned up. Riot police attended to keep the little darlings of the right safe, not that they had to send many coppers as only 20-30 right wingers turned up. Carnage ensued, and missiles were thrown, swastika’s were daubed and feelings ran high. Scousers have shown now on 3 occasions that the fash aren’t welcome in a vibrant,multi cultural town like Liverpool and once again the Nazi’s ran off with false bravado cowering behind police shields.

Alan Weston NWI Liverpool Echo riot police protection February 27th 2016

In Luton the leaderless spunktrumpets of the Britain First department of rural affairs descended on the Bedfordshire town, remotely controlled by their two leaders in the Fuhrer bunker near to the police station where they’d had to sign on. Thoughts of an xbox controller with “call of duty” on the Laptops they were using (five faaaaaaasand pounds anyone?)

golding fransen webcam luton remote demoThey decided this would be a jolly jape because they were banned but the activists weren’t. The edited video put out by them had an “asian” policeman doing his job saying that the biffers were not permitted to visit Bury Park, but were welcome to stay in the town centre. When Screechy and Goldibollocks shut up long enough you could just make out the copper telling them the ban was due to them stopping any breach of the police. Not good enough for the gruesome twosome sitting in their bunker, Screechy telling the policeman that they can go where they want. Well, Screechy (and your so called Legal ‘qualifications’) Policemen can ban people from areas if they feel a breach of the peace may occur. Look it up, I could be asked to close my pub if the police felt it could cause issues. The police orders are absolute.

Luton’s residents, some ambivilent to the arrival of the shittroopers, others angry, started to confront them with words rather than bricks or fists but this was interpreted by Biffer High command as “violent” attacks against the “activists”. This was enough for Goldibollocks to release another statement, this time from the car, that his shittroopers were under attack by “political opponents”. We searched high and low for evidence of this viscious attack and couldn’t find any. Surely they couldn’t make it up. The police for once standing in the middle of a shit storm, used their powers (disgustingly according to the Fuhrers). They issued sections for the biffers to leave Luton immediately. In the sense of fair play (Screechy take note) they banned a couple of Anti’s from Luton despite the fact they came from there and arrested another. This the police said would stop anymore breaches of the peace, allow the shoppers and businesses to continue with whatever they were doing and prevent a minor situation escalating.

The way I see it is that the Biffers or rather their hierachy want either one of their shittroopers injured or arrested, the Fuhrers martyred in jail or possibly even hurt so they can pull in more of the disaffected.

stop trident march rally february 2016 London.jpgOn the same day in London thousands and thousands took part in a march. There were no police casualties, no violent protests from the opposite side of the political spectrum, just thousands of people from all walks of life protesting against Trident. This is how to do it Goldibollocks, Locke and idiots from the Infidels. Find something that thousands of people are genuinely worried about, mobilise them and get them out on the street. You see when there is a real reason to come out, one that will unite the masses the silent majority are ready to come out in force. When you try and get the people to mobilise on a racist or Islamaphobic issue you can’t. You may be loud but the genuine patriots of this fine isle have turned their back on you big time.

And thats it. Lets show these disgusting right wingers who the real patriots are, the real flag wavers,marchers and decent human beings. Lets drown out their voices, debunk their claims, hound them at every turn. But let’s do it without violence (although in cricket parlance, lift the seam a bit.)

Cheers

A view from a barstool #16

Beer 2So another week spent wondering where the time goes, how one couple almost keep me in business, working out excuses not to go into the EBF office as Hulk and Tank Girl argue about who has nicked the chocolate hobnobs and why nowhere around there sells the correct brand of coffee or has Mint Tea bags! Unfortunately for them I hate serving coffee. If it was up to me and not the Landlady my coffee machine would be disposed of in the skip outside. Talking of being consigned to the bin outside reminds me of the real reason I am writing this blog. Bloody Britain First.

Before I expose them though some other things have caught my eye this week that may or may not be attributed to the Biffers but have a direct connection with their mantra. Firstly the out-pouring of support for a mosque from locals in Bristol. After a seemingly never ending barrage of hate from the far right, cards and flowers have been sent to them showing support from all faiths (and none). Once again proof that the right wing, hate-fuelled idiots don’t have much support anywhere in the country.

Also, a pigs head was stuck to the fence of a Muslim school in Portsmouth. This school is for children in years 1-4 showing again what arseholes those that follow the right wing mantra are. These are just a couple of examples of what groups like the biffers are brainwashing their followers into.

Apart from a couple of meaningless memes rehashed from right wing sources (for example Japan has cut Muslims off from life or whatever), so easy to debunk, so hard for their disciples to understand the lies they put out, only two things really caught my eye. The first was Dutchy and her first “go” on the 15 quid app news studio. Now I’m really sorry and I beg all of you to forgive me but I couldn’t, just couldn’t, not even in the name of EBF force myself to watch it. So I guessed what she said…

BF Jayda Fransen rant immigrants rape january 2016“Screeeeeeeeeech Muslims, Screeeeeeeeech Sharia, Screeeeeech only we can save you, screeeeeeeeeech send money and screeeeeeeeech police and lefty council persecution…”

And that leads me onto the second item of the week, their march in Dewsbury and their visit last week to try and incite the local Muslims into attacking them. Instead they were totally ignored.

We saw Goldibollocks and Dutchy and a group of ‘activists’ with their banners outside two mosques (why oh why do they appear to only do this when there is no one around, or early morning) handed out their edition of Der Sturmer to bemused shoppers, proudly saying that they have had massive interest in the march (which in my eyes means they may get 100 people to shuffle around a car park). They also said on video that they had been attacked. Again given their track record this would have been recorded and flooded the internet (flooded??? remember the sponsored walk chaps, the just giving page is still here) with their propaganda. The police and the local council have called for them to call it off, the local newspaper has too, although they have been called ‘unwashed lefties’.

Why do they call every bit of media lefties???? Is it because anyone who is to the left of Ghengis Khan would still be too liberal?

They are resolute in their decision to shuffle aimlessly and will only do what the police say if a section 12 is issued. They have also said they have a pub all to themselves for a social just after. Now as a Landlord I have contacts and have been looking about along with my unwashed liberal mates trying to find out where. Like I said in an earlier blog, I and the rest of EBF will harry you wherever you may go. Follow this blog and the EBF Facebook page. If I find further details they’ll be announced here.

BF Jayda video Dewsbury front pageSo apart from that, Teflon Goldibolloks and Slimy Dutchy seem to be untouchable, and this to me means one of two things. The powers that be are turning a blind eye to their antics as it fits with their agenda of demonising a faith and keeping their mates in business, or they are a bunch of conniving informants, advising the authorities on the antics of other groups on the right. There is no way the constant harrassment, incitement carried out by the blackshirted shittroopers could be left uninvestigated unless there was something untoward going on.

And finally what ever has happened to pieman Lewis? Other than possibly being on the naughty boys step, could he be writing a book? A great fictional story called Britain (hahaha) First (hahahaha) Accounts (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa).

BF steve lewis folkestone police morris dancing

And with that, before I fall about laughing again (and get divorce papers served) I must go. I think a white flag has been seen atop EBF towers which either means Tank Girl and Hulk have left the building, the hobnob situation has been sent to arbitration with Yifter and Kit or Ant’s handkerchief has floated out of the window. Keep me covered I’m going in!!!!

Cheers

The dastardly duo due in Dewsbury

Fransen and Golding were in Dewsbury to stir up trouble last weekend. With a handful of thugs and hangers on they took the Biffer banner around local Mosques hoping to get a response. Seemingly the local Muslims ignored them because not a single piece of footage appeared online showing how those beastly Muslims had attacked the brave Biffers. In the absence of any real opposition the Biffers illustrious deputy-leader was reduced to lying about it (again), referring to Muslims who apparently had the audacity to object to BF coming to Dewsbury to tell the locals that they weren’t welcome there. The irony may be too much for Biffers to understand but it seems pretty obvious to the rest of us.

Fransen and Golding seem to take video support crews with them wherever they go and we can be sure that if any Muslims had protested against them they’d have been filmed and their images plastered all over social media by now but (as usual) Fransen was unable to produce a scrap of footage as evidence. To date only three of their videos have shown any real hostility and they were all clearly the result of significant provocation by the Biffers themselves. It’s actually a testament to the tolerance of UK Muslims that Britain First can go to a town they don’t live in, presume to shout about how the locals don’t belong there and face so little actual aggression as a result.

Perhaps most people were still asleep in Dewsbury just after dawn last Saturday morning. The video does seem to have been shot very early in the day with few people on the streets and some very long shadows. Local EBF supporters tell us that by mid-morning there were no Biffers to be seen in Dewsbury at all which doesn’t surprise us. They don’t usually hang around anywhere where they can’t get police protection. The Biffer definition of ‘bravely taking their country back’ is to turn up, take a few early morning videos and then leg it before the locals spot them.

BF Jayda video Dewsbury front page.png

Whilst they were in Dewsbury the Biffers did manage to find a newspaper report. Buying the current copy of the local paper, on sale in newsagents throughout the town, doesn’t seem quite as impressive a feat as Fransen implies. On the video she claims that a couple of the Biffers found it in the local library but that seems unlikely.

Biffers in a library?

That really is pushing the limits of plausibility too far!

I remember my eldest girl’s childish excitement when she realised her school friends had been mentioned in the local newspaper for a charity event they’d been involved in. Her glee was over the top by grown up standards but perfectly reasonable for a little girl. Actually I was quite proud of her that she could be so happy for someone else. The article hadn’t involved my girl at all.

Fransen looks like she might wet herself at the fact that Britain First has hit the front page of a small local newspaper in a small town in West Yorkshire. Her reaction reminded me of my eldest’s but for all the wrong reasons.

It’s true that the Biffers made the paper. It’s also true that there’s even a quote from Jayda herself in there. That should appeal to her attention-seeking nature. But there’s nothing positive about Britain First in the article itself. Here are a few highlights…

“A RALLY by far-right group Britain First is set to go ahead in Dewsbury on Saturday January 30 – and they plan to flout changes police want to make to their parade route.”

MP Paula Sherriff hopes Dewsbury will be open for business as usual when far-right protesters Britain First come to town on January 30. She said: “Britain First appears to be intent on stirring up trouble in Dewsbury. We fight hard to achieve community cohesion here and visits such as this are unwelcome.”

“If Britain First cared about our community and the town centre they wouldn’t be doing this.”

“If they’re coming to incite hatred against another community then I think that’s wrong.”
“Certainly in my ward there’s a feeling that these people don’t care about Dewsbury and that they should be ignored.”

Fransen’s Fifth columnists arrive in Dewsbury

As usual the Brave Biffers have turned out mob-handed to terrorise yet another English town. There almost like the German 5th column of World War II (except that their Nazi role models of all those years ago were a bit better at secret infiltration). The modern Nazis of Britain First prefer to stand around in large groups, blaring out loud, martial sounding music and intimidating the locals.
BF Dewsbury advance party January 16th 2016 Jayda Fransen and thugs
In the video accompanying this fiasco on the BF website, Fransen describes the soundtrack, reminiscent of violent computer games and military marching themes as ‘patriotic’. We think that alone says a great deal about Britain First’s skewed idea of what patriotism is.

True patriots prefer peaceful relations with and for their countrymen.

EBF BF Golding Dewsbury Breeding ground of extremismFascists thrive on conflict and unrest. Only by setting people against each other can they hope to seize power while everyone else is too busy hating each other to notice.

Don’t be fooled. Fransen and Golding don’t really give a toss about Islamic extremist hate preachers. Why would they? They’re just as guilty of their own brand of Christian extremism and incitement.

What they really want is a nation at war. A house divided against itself cannot stand.

British neo-nazis from Britain First to Pegida all want the same thing. Social destabilisation will create a popular power vacuum, an informal crisis of leadership among the population if not a formal political one, that they hope to exploit for their own fascistic ends. That’s why we at EBF call upon our government to proscribe Britain First just as they have (quite correctly) proscribed their Islamic counterparts.

Britain First and the rest of the fascist groups operating in UK undermine and divide our society. We say that enough is enough.

No Pasaran!

Proscribe Britain First now!

Ranting Fransen causing trouble again

EBF BF Ranting Fransen East London Anjem ChoudharyBritain First has been congratulating itself on its courage again. This time, displaying all the bravery of a bunch of house mice, they went mob-handed to the home of Anjem Choudhary. Choudhary is a thoroughly unpleasant hate preacher (not unlike Fransen herself) but the idea that this Biffer publicity stunt was brave or even necessary is stretching things an awful lot.

Choudhary has already been arrested and charged for preaching hatred. In fact he’s currently on bail and is due in court this morning (11/1/2016). That’s exactly 36 hours after Ranting Fransen and her gang of thugs went door to door disturbing East London residents until they found his address and went to hassle him. We have to wonder just how this overly dramatic ‘campaign’ was supposed to aid due process.

EBF BF piss up in East LondonWhen they finally found the right house and knocked on the door, Choudhary answered. Ranting Fransen hardly had the chance open her over-sized mouth before he closed it again and went back inside. That’s hardly surprising.

Choudhary’s bail conditions prohibit him from broadcasting anything or posting on social media. The Biffers pointed a camera at his face knowing full well that he would have no chance to speak to them whilst being filmed without breaching those conditions. Fransen understands this only too well. The exact same conditions kept Uncle Jim Dowson out of action for the Biffers for months and he’s still not keen to be on show even now. There’s nothing brave about having a go at a man whose bail conditions prevent him from defending himself.

We’re no fans of Anjem Choudhary. Here at EBF we see Choudhary and Fransen as opposite ends of the same divisive continuum (that’s a nice way of saying they’re two cheeks of the same arse). Both are hate preachers. Both distort respectable religions for their own hateful ends and both are bent upon causing Holy war on UK’s streets. So far as we’re concerned they can both go to Hell but fair’s fair.

Having a go at a man who cannot defend himself is an act of cowardice, not courage. The Biffers may think they’ve earned their celebratory piss up but the rest of us don’t. Perhaps that’s why so few Brits could be bothered to congratulate this tiresome team of tedious time-wasters!

EBF BF piss up foreign support

View from a barstool #10

Beer 2Hello all, a tired and very hungover Landlord travelled back to his pub from Somerset and decided to call in to Hobnob central or more commonly known as EBF towers. After the obligitary telling off for not bringing any oaty snacks as I only had a packet of twiglets and a couple of opal fruits in the car, I started to have a look through what the biffers have got up to.

After 15 minutes of trawling through the absolute lies and intimidatory bullshit through bleary bloodshot eyes I decided my round up this week wouldn’t be a roundup at all but a run through of the last evening that the Antifa Landords came up with during one of our shandy drinking binges (well one of us was drinking lager top). It decended into farce later on but thats another story. But before our session was over we had thought of a wonderful new reality TV program that one of us will send to channel 5, the working title is bigot first.

We found 6 people hungry for cash and media time found a house in one of those Donald Trump no go areas, or Britain as we like to call it, and left the cameras on. When we could be bothered we’d go back and check a) if they were still alive, b)if they had finished the Halal meat we left for them and c)if any of them had used any of the stock bigot phrases yet.

Day one. The introductions of the 6, Dutchy a feisty,somewhat scary woman,Goldibollocks, a suit wearing shouty man, Dim Jowson a bespectacled elderly gent nicknamed “uncle”, Pieman a rather rotund chap, who appears to say he wants to “take the jaws off people” if he’s not keeping the owners of Greggs in toilet paper, little Tommy R or whatever his name may be, he changes it every week, but another shouty man, and finally someone dressed in chainmail, helmet and tinfoil sword who calls himself Kay Tee I or something like it.

After the introductions the contestants went to their Dorms, one for Dutchy and one for the chaps. “I’m not staying in here it would be like the bloody muzzies segregating men and women” she said, “ah” said Uncle and Kay Tee, “but in our sect women are not equal either.”Goldibollocks was heard to say “no christian rumpy here then”.

As we disappeared down the pub, watching a bunch of bigots is not our cup of tea, we heard the beds scraping and the sound of pieman shouting “I’ll take your fucking jaw off if you don’t move these beds so they are facing North, I’m not sleeping facing Mecca” Tommy laughed.

1800, Jayda is in the kitchen making dinner, Uncle said it was her job Kay Tee agreed whilst Pieman wondered if his 50p off voucher at a well known bakers would still be valid when he got out. “I can’t cook this” the harridan screeched “look it’s got HMA on it, our page said not to it’s fucking halalalalalal.” Pieman said “does that mean all of it is, this water, banana, aaaaaaaaaaah it’s a lefty plot Exposing Britain First have left halal hobnobs in here” Tommy said in his best English “fook it I’ll eat it, just don’t tell Pegida or the EDL or the English Democrats or whoever I’m in charge of this week” and so they didn’t eat.

1845 time for bed, the paytrioots decided that as they can’t eat or drink anything as it’s all halal, all they can do is sleep, the production team decided not to tell them all that oxygen is halal too, that would be too funny…..

Day 2, and our bigots are all awake, so hungry that Kay Tee stood guard over them incase Pieman turned to bigot on toast. The production team (I’ll call them EBF for now) decided to send in Muslim kryptonite, a pack of bacon and a couple of crates of Stella, we want to laugh at them not kill them, we’re sympathisers not extremists after all.

EBF BF Big brother Jayda Fransen diary room

1200, Bacon and Stella consumed, EBF called Goldibollocks into the diary room and offered him the chance to meet dutchy in a snooker hall (well room) while the others decorate the room with security windows, panic alarms and give them all black shirts with bodycams on.

1300,  after an hour of “feeling normal” Dutchy and Golding are back with the group, suddenly a dog appears and starts to bark as Uncle begins a sermon and Tommy tries to write another bargain bucket best seller(on sale at poundland in a month) Kay Tee is kneeling waiting to be Templared, Pieman is running round threatening the dog with taking his fucking jaw out, Goldilocks and Dutchy are doing traditional daisy chains on the lawn.

EBF BF Big brother Golding diary room

1500, EBF have decided that all this is a bit nice so send in the first task. Making a nativity scene using only the finest goods from Harrods..although a couple of EDF took the labels off in case the name started a fight. After building the stables and manger, decorating it with straw they began on the disciples, or sheep as we like to call them.

1530, the Dutchy screech is heard…”get these islamic figures out of my nativity scene. They was English I tell ya, not rag ed’s at all and Joseph and Mary were WHIIIIITE!!!!.” Her eyes were bulging. Tommy said “calm down Dutchy” he said “it’s all a lefty plot, they really are just suntanned, not from the Middle East. It’s the same with St George he’s from Peckham really” Uncle continued to rock back and forth quoting the scriptures, Kay Tee is practicing his sword work with his £59.99 sword bending in the wind, Goldibollocks is on the calculator trying to work out how he and Dutchy an afford a trip to bigot land, or Trump Towers as we like to call it.

1531 it starts to rain.

1800, As the rain continues a flood ensues, Uncle tells all who would listen that it is because of the refugees, “it must be true I read it in our bible” he says and pulls out a copy of the Daily Mail.

1825, EBF call pieman into the diary room. After playing sounds of Gaspode barking, he threatens to “take our fucking jaws off” we hand him a letter from the Landlord of the property, Mr Shah who threatens our gallant bigots with eviction if they don’t pay £87 in rent. EBF also gave them a mobile phone to try and raise the cash.

1835, Uncle and Kay Tee have put out an appeal, with a picture saying ” The Templars on a fact finding mission to Serbia, working for you.” Tommy sent an appeal out to the EDL to storm the place but didn’t hold out too much hope as it was a Friday and Kebab and Stella night. Pieman gave his 50p voucher whilst Dutchy and Goldibollocks send a post out to the gullible along the lines of “Lefty plot to stop your leaders from their democratic rights to stay in a house. We have instructed our legal team to take on this lefty plot but you know how expensive this is, we really don’t want to ask you but if you could chip in to help us keep our freedoms. We need £5000 by morning, please dig deep.”

Day 3, Begging update, Uncle and Kay Tee have raised a grand total of nothing, Tommy had a couple of “I love you mate” an offer of a piss up and a chance to write another book, Pieman had raised 50p but his threats to take off a fucking jaw wouldn’t put him good stead. However Goldibollocks and Jayda had made the amount but told everyone they had made nothing, when EBF looked at the history on the phone, Thompsons Holidays was the last entry.

1200, the tension amongst the crowd waiting outside Bigot House is palpable, several police forces sent reinforcements as Bigot first’s events page showed 7500 coming. Numbers are amazing, at least 139 people were there, the police love the overtime.

1205, the Bigots emerge, victory is theirs, Uncle holds his bible aloft, Kay Tee holds his sword, Tommy has a stupid gring on his face, Pieman, spots a kebab van and falls over trying to get there first. Goldibollocks and Dutchy are asking for money for exclusive interviews, except to the lefty media which is everyone apart from the Fail.

1210 the crowd disperses, EBF come out of the house pissing themselves in laughter.

With apologies to whoever does another program on channel 5.
Landlord