Britain First: Martyrs, victims and pseudo-saviours

Question: How do you turn otherwise reasonable people into bloodthirsty cash cows?

Answer: That’s easy – just follow the formula.

First – you need to find some really big lies and keep repeating them. It doesn’t matter that they’re outrageous – repeat them regularly enough with conviction and people will believe you all the same.

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Second – find a threat to scare people with. That can come from just about anyone but for really effective ‘fear propaganda’ you should identify someone visible but too few in number to stand much chance when the mob turns nasty.

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Third – identify ‘your people’. This should be a group of people that’s very much bigger than the group you’re pretending is a threat.

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Fourth – identify victims. You must point to people who have been harmed by the ‘threat’ (even if it’s not true). Without victims to demonstrate the threat it’s harder to convince the mob (and without the mob on your side you have precisely nothing).

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Fifth – Even though there’s no real threat you need to present yourself as the popular solution to the problem you’ve invented. If possible find ways to pretend that you’re taking great risks on behalf of ‘your people’. The braver and more popular you seem the more grateful ‘your people’ will be.

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Sixth – create willing martyrs (it’s not helpful to be a martyr yourself). You need to stay around to profit from other peoples’ martyrdom, not to join them in their misery. Incite others to make stupid gestures, perpetrate crimes and commit acts of violence that you’re not really prepared to do yourself. It’s OK for you to say nasty things so long as there’s no comeback but if there’s any actual violence to be done you need others for that. Then any serious prosecutions will affect them, not you.

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Seventh – Even though others take the fall you can profit from the argument that you are at great risk yourself. Get yourself arrested on minor charges regularly – it’ll make you seem like the victim of police harassment or a conspiracy by ‘the establishment’. Remember that ‘the establishment’ will be interpreted by your followers as whoever they’re most frightened of so DON’T ever be too specific. Let your followers imagine their own version of ‘The man’.

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Eighth – Your martyrs aren’t important as people – only as martyrs. Don’t waste your own time and money trying to help them. Their sacrifice is necessary for your gain.

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Ninth – keep trying to provoke backlash from the group you’ve identified as a threat. That way you get evidence of their hostility that you can use to demonise them even more. This will keep your paranoid followers convinced about the threat you imagined and also keep them devoted to (and donating to) you, personally.

Remember above all that you must have martyrs – and lots of them. If the supply of victims from your in group dries up your persuasive appeal will dry up along with it. Whatever else you do, no matter how much you have to lie you absolutely MUST keep people frightened of the out group you’ve chosen to represent the threat.

Ideally of course it’s better if there really are victims to capitalise on – they’re always the best for raising funds but if you can’t find any real victims there’s nothing to stop you making some up. Often you don’t even need to be specific – people are much more likely to respond to emotion than to actual information. Just make them feel threatened and they’ll think they know much more than they actually do.

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As a Shepherd, your job is to keep the Flock interested enough to follow you. They need to identify both threats and Martyrs. If you’re really lucky someone will get badly hurt or killed – the propaganda value of tragedy can never be over-estimated.

A terrorist attack is like Gold in your bank account and if you’re persistent you can keep its memory alive to profit from for years to come.

What you really want is the slaughter of innocent people on Britain’s streets. You can make a fortune from that!

Be careful though – even the terminally stupid will work out that they’ve been conned eventually. This sort of deception, successful though it is in the short-term, won’t last forever.

Thankyou so much, Britain First

OK – we were mistaken. We admit it. Mea Culpa. We got it wrong.

All this time we’ve believed that Britain First was a racist, bigoted organisation run by leaders who were more interested in profit than politics. We thought Golding and Fransen were really just bumbling political lightweights with no clue how to influence anything beyond the few hundred genuine followers lurking among the bought likes and foreign (non-voting) fundamentalists who egged them on.

How wrong we were

It seems that Paul and Jayda were being far more subtle than that. Their task wasn’t to spearhead the rise of fascism in the UK after all. They had an altogether different agenda. Britain First was set up to stop fascism – yes, that’s right – it’s not a typo.

Britain First exists purely to discredit UKIP!

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Think about it….

When Britain First began UKIP was just beginning to be noticed after around 20 years in the political wilderness. Nobody had really heard of Farage’s little bunch of nationalists until then. What’s worse – with the austerity programme already biting hard they were even starting to attract some support. Something had to be done.

That ‘something’ was Britain First!

What better way to expose the awful truth behind UKIP than to satirise it? The British people have always loved satire and Britain First really has been comedy gold. The Golding & Fransen show could have rivalled any comic double act and therein lay their success.

These comedic geniuses satirised racism and religious intolerance so thoroughly that the name ‘Britain First’ is now synonymous with bigotry and small-minded stupidity throughout the land. They made their brand toxic to voters and then…

A stroke of political genius

They associated themselves with UKIP.

Stage one

First they tested the waters with a mock campaign in Rochester & Strood. Nobody ever expected Britain First to keep their deposit but they needed to gauge just how hated they were. The result was spectacular. Never has a ‘political party’ (even a comedy one) been so hated since Mosley’s ‘British Union of Fascists’. Jayda “Dutchy” Fransen became the most despised woman in British politics whilst simultaneously remaining the biggest joke. That’s quite a combination and it took some really hard work to pull it off. But, with Golding’s publicity skills and Dowson’s money behind her she managed. Britain First had reached first base with spectacular success.

Stage two was easy….

After that all Dutchy had to do was get herself photographed with a few UKIP campaigners whilst Golding told everyone to vote UKIP (even whilst Fransen was standing in the same election). Once again BF combined comedy and apparent stupidity with the more serious political task of undermining UKIP through association.

Once the task of associating themselves with UKIP was done – once they established the link in the eyes of the public all they had to do was keep on reinforcing it.

  • Acting as self-appointed bouncers who harassed people outside UKIP meetings was pure genius.
  • Invading office blocks to have a go at anti UKIP performance artists was brilliance on stilts.
  • But the real cracker was publishing the details of an anti UKIP activist whilst followers (or possibly their own sock-puppet accounts) issued threats and in one case even offered a reward to whoever ‘glassed’ her.

The result…

Association with all this thuggishness sounded UKIP’s death knell. Try as he might (and he did try) Farage just couldn’t get the electorate to believe that UKIP wasn’t really in bed with Britain First. That might have worked if Golding hadn’t repeatedly told people to ignore UKIP’s denials. The assertion that Farage had to say that but really didn’t mean it was just genius. After that the association between UKIP and Britain First was just reinforced with every denial.

So well done Britain First. You did it. If it wasn’t for you, UKIP might have gained more than a single parliamentary seat. In fact, before Rochester and Strood (when you first began smearing your own toxic brand all over their purple pamphlets) they looked likely to gain considerably more. The liberally-minded, non-racist, tolerant citizens of UK owe you a debt of gratitude for your sterling work in keeping UKIP out of Westminster.

Thankyou so much, Britain First!

EBF UKIP Farage Thanet GE2015 loses resigns