​A view from a barstool #31 by Landlord

A hot week at Landlord central this week as our British weather finally realises it’s summer and the bright yellow speedos come out to play. I am reliably informed that this heat has been sent by Europe so biffers, kippers  and brexiteers please move to a cold area where you don’t have to sample the EU weather.

The news in brief, the government have decided to strip apart the human rights act, the French have gone apoplectic about a swimsuit of choice, the big breweries have hiked beer prices and in the US Trump met Farage for a kind of Racist get together, oh and a beardy sat on the floor of a train as there were/weren’t any seats left depending on your persuasion.

So to the news about biffers. Well mosque invasions, begging mail, old videos, the continuing absence of Screechy and the odd biffer troll accusing the admins of the page of being Muslims who are brainwashing readers of the page to our wicked ways( I’m sitting here with a particularly fruity Merlot and a bacon butty so by all means be brainwashed by me. Call the police I’m obviously radicalising you all).

Last week, Goldibollocks, and a team of shittroopers visited Cardiff to invade a mosque, demanding with menace, that a cleric stops preaching something that was debunked easily. They seem to visit on a Saturday, nowhere near prayer time when nobody is about apart from elderly gents going about mosque business. Needless to say, we have sent this information to the authorities as this appears to be in flagrant disregard of the conditions set up and accepted by Goldibollocks by the court.

The latest begging mails are nothing but hilarious, they seem to have forgotten Screechy’s legal fund and now requesting money for leaflets as they are getting more activists, although we have only seen the same racists in every picture or video. They could be coming to a town near you soon so please keep your cameras handy and send them to us.

The biggest question in the office, well not the biggest, ok my question, in actual fact no one cares but Marcia told me I have to ask it, where’s Screechy. Please can everyone look down the back of the sofa, under the bed(cringe). It seems like the biffer pin up has put a piece of tape over her gob and gone into hiding. I believe, and it’s my opinion only, that she was close to a coup, close to deposing der fuhrer, but Goldibollocks got in first and left her fucked. First he pled guilty to his charge, told her not to and left her facing jail time, secondly his high command have stopped begging for legal costs. It’s now all about him.

Finally we were visited by a cat, accusing us of being Muslims, being a one man band, radicalising you guys. Just about everything the biffer trolls do in several attacks. Just to reiterate we are several, atheists, Muslims, Christians, agnostic and human. We believe bigotry in all forms is wrong. So when we get trolls like the one we had we laugh, smile for screenshots and wait for “la grande flounce”

So that’s it for now, another week over and the barmaid has put another bottle next to me to enjoy.


Biffers butting into other peoples’ business again

What do you wear when you go to the swimming baths?

I wear a forgiving dark coloured swimsuit that lets me hide my ‘voluptuousness’ behind a camouflage of cloth. Even covered up like that I hate the seemingly endless walk from the changing rooms to the water where I feel like I’m on show for the whole world to criticise my ‘extra padding’. Hubby says it’s not a problem. He says I’m beautiful (and that’s really nice of him) but it doesn’t change the fact that my sense of modesty means I hate those few yards until I can hide my tummy beneath the surface of the water.

Honestly, if I thought I had to wear a bikini to go to the pool I don’t think I’d ever go again.

Fortunately though, nobody has ever so much as raised an eyebrow at my choice of swimwear. I can cover up if I like and that’s nobody’s business but my own. I’m not hurting anyone and I’m not trying to dictate what other people should wear. If other (usually younger) women want to flaunt what they’ve got that’s up to them. I just don’t – well not any more. But you should have seen me ten years ago!

I was horrified to see the latest offering from Britain First because it touches on this very subject. As you can tell it’s an issue very close to my heart. It’s also something that is none of Britain First’s business.

EBF BF Burkini comments

When will these small-minded little bigots stop sticking their noses in where they’re not wanted?