A view from a barstool #43 by Landlord

christmas-beerI have to admit that I was finding it pretty difficult to work out what to write this week, I mean just how much regurgitated shit can you manage to read or hear before getting writers block, until the Christmas present that was the incarceration of Der Fuhrer, so here it is, my take on the best and funniest news we at EBF have had all year.

Goldibollocks, you see, like the rest of his High Command think they are above the law, that when they are arrested, interviewed or confronted by the police that this is a plot by the establishment to silence them and the twelvty million supporters they purport to have. Well Goldibollocks, well Screechy, well shittroopers I have news for you, it’s not. The reason you are harassed, arrested,bailed or confronted is because it’s against the law.

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Now it’s hard not to laugh at them, I know believe me, but trying to be serious for just one paragraph this is a quick résumé of what Goldibollocks did to get banged up. Earlier this year, to great fanfare and video on their page Goldibollocks, Screechy and the shittroopers visited Bury Park in Luton for a Christian patrol. Screechy went batshit crazy and verbally assaulted a young Muslim woman whilst bravely surrounded by the shittroopers and quite rightly Bedfordshire police got miffed about it. Screechy and Goldibollocks were bailed with certain stringent conditions. One of which was not to go into a mosque in the British isles without written permission. When it was time to come to court he played a blinder pled guilty and got a criminal record, Screechy was also hauled up and also got convicted of her part in the Bury Park fiasco. One thing remained though……..no more mosque invasions.

bf-ebf-fransen-golding-luton-courtWhilst Screechy was out of the picture Goldibollocks and some pretty unsavoury activists went to Cardiff and entered a mosque without prior written consent, Goldibollocks says he didn’t go in but he was definitely the unhinged mastermind behind it. Thinking they had got away with it how they laughed. However behind the scenes the authorities decided that bending over and being fisted by the biffers on a weekly basis was pissing them off and hatched a cunning plan. Fast forward to Screechy’s trial and the announcement that Goldibollocks was to be charged for contempt of court. After much hissing and screaming at the establishment Goldibollocks relinquished control of Bifferdom to spend more time with his family. The more cynical amongst us knew this was a blinding legal move on his behalf as he could say he no longer had control.

On Thursday he went to court played a blinder, pled guilty and expected a slap on the wrist. Naughty boy Paul but as we’re so frightened of your online masses and your plethora of MPS, MEPs and councillors we’ll let you out just don’t do it again, was what he, his legal team and the biffer High command thought would happen. By all accounts his bottom lip trembled as he was told you’re going down for eight weeks, 4 suspended. You see Screechy, Goldibollocks and the rest of your tacky insignificant crew people get fucked off with being constantly disobeyed and you went too far.

Now we could go over the top and take the piss more, we could ask that he’s banged up with Muslims, or someone who calls him Pauline, but the others have too much class for that. Instead I’d like him to spend the 4 weeks in solitude, snivelling like the cowardly fuck he is. He won’t have his shittroopers there, no one to hold his hand if someone says something nasty to him.

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I hope prison will break him, make him scared shitless, I hope that he’ll come out chastened by the experience, but I doubt it. In fact if you read comments from biffer towers you’ll see the twats are out and Screechy wants money to appeal. Appeal, fuck off you conning bunch of fucking arseholes. He pled guilty end of.
One of the comments I loved was,

“I bet if it was a Muslim he’d be free.”

To which one of our regulars wrote

“Hmmm, like Choudary.”

So what next for the biffers? Well Screechy will continue with her soapbox, spouting all sorts of absolute garbage, Stevie will continue his one man assault on Gregg’s, the shittroopers will continue to look as menacing as my little ponies and in 4 weeks time a fucked up Goldibollocks will emerge to the waiting throng of twelvty million press and sign a multi million pound deal with Brietbart to screen his life story. In all honesty, we just don’t know. One thing we are sure about is that this will lead to some more conning, a huge amount of racist and religious bigotry and Screechy screeching.

One more thing you can be sure of, once the offices collective hangover goes we’ll be there to fuck them up, we’ll be there to highlight their lies, we’ll be there to highlight their bigotry, we’ll be there to counter their get togethers and we’ll be there to highlight their cons.

But for this weekend I’m getting pissed, and staying pissed. Maybe, just maybe this will curtail their activities and that is something to raise a glass of Babysham to over the Xmas break. Now if you’ll forgive me I’ve got an unopened bottle of expensive Valpollicello to uncork and toast His Honour Judge Moloney for having the bollocks to stand up to the bully.

Toodlepip

Two cheeks of the same arse

The net seems to be tightening

Yesterday Britain First told us that Folding Golding had been arrested and was being held by Counter-terrorism command. This was impossible to verify by any of EBF’s usual channels and the Biffers themselves removed the post themselves after facing a torrent of scepticism from followers.

So we have to treat the announcement with suspicion. It’s possible that this latest announcement is just another re-run of several other false claims of legal interference intended to elicit sympathy and promote donations. They are getting desperate, after all. Legal fees aren’t cheap and it can’t be long until Folding & Dutchy return to the High Court.

BBC3 BF WWOCB High Court exit

It’s a standard Biffer trick to pretend they’ve been hassled by the law and then beg for money to somehow make the rozzers go away. It’s never entirely clear how that’s meant to work. Actually given the dubious nature of their merchandising and ‘fundraising’ tactics we’d have thought such an approach would make the old bill much more likely to take an interest, along with HM Revenue and taxes, the Charities commission, the Electoral commission, Trading standards and, of course, the Fraud squad.

For a long time we expected that financial irregularities would be their downfall. Al Capone eventually went to the infamous prison island of Alcatraz following a conviction for tax evasion so there’s a precedent for using financial matters to take down violent gangsters. But then we saw this news article from last Thursday.

BBCderadicalisation programme referrals on the rise

It seems that the British government is finally waking up to the problems caused by domestic terror groups like Britain First.

Biffers will no doubt claim that the issue is Islamic extremism. They’ll even try to use the fact that de-radicalisation is so necessary as a justification for their own existence. But that won’t wash with anyone who can actually read.

Just look at these selected highlights from the BBC article…

Eight people a day were referred to the government’s deradicalisation scheme known as “Channel” this summer.

Between June and August, 796 people in England and Wales were reported to the programme for possible intervention.

National Police Chiefs’ Council figures show more than a third of the total, 312, were aged under 18.

How odd it is that young people, those who Britain First target most are so highly represented. How odd that the figures have risen so significantly across all age groups just as Britain First, after so many years of trying have eventually started to have an impact in the real, offline world.

“There were 327 referrals in June, 349 in July, and 120 in August.

There were more referrals over this period than for the whole of 2012-13 – the first year the scheme was rolled out across England and Wales.

It is more than double the level of referrals recorded in the first three months of 2014-15”

BBC3 WWOCB Islam ban Fayda Golding BF EBF combo

“The government has defined extremism as: “Vocal or active opposition to fundamental British values, including democracy, the rule of law, individual liberty and mutual respect and tolerance of different faiths and beliefs.” “

EBF extremist Jayda no moderate muslim BF court lie

“Haras Rafiq, managing director at security think tank Quilliam, said the figures came after “the lure of extremism has increased over the last year both from an Islamist and far-right perspective”.

“There is a symbiotic relationship between the two,” he added.”

Mr. Rafiq pout it rather more politely than we do. We just describe Britain First and ISIS as…

Two cheeks of the same arse!