​A view from a barstool #31 by Landlord

A hot week at Landlord central this week as our British weather finally realises it’s summer and the bright yellow speedos come out to play. I am reliably informed that this heat has been sent by Europe so biffers, kippers  and brexiteers please move to a cold area where you don’t have to sample the EU weather.

The news in brief, the government have decided to strip apart the human rights act, the French have gone apoplectic about a swimsuit of choice, the big breweries have hiked beer prices and in the US Trump met Farage for a kind of Racist get together, oh and a beardy sat on the floor of a train as there were/weren’t any seats left depending on your persuasion.

So to the news about biffers. Well mosque invasions, begging mail, old videos, the continuing absence of Screechy and the odd biffer troll accusing the admins of the page of being Muslims who are brainwashing readers of the page to our wicked ways( I’m sitting here with a particularly fruity Merlot and a bacon butty so by all means be brainwashed by me. Call the police I’m obviously radicalising you all).

Last week, Goldibollocks, and a team of shittroopers visited Cardiff to invade a mosque, demanding with menace, that a cleric stops preaching something that was debunked easily. They seem to visit on a Saturday, nowhere near prayer time when nobody is about apart from elderly gents going about mosque business. Needless to say, we have sent this information to the authorities as this appears to be in flagrant disregard of the conditions set up and accepted by Goldibollocks by the court.

The latest begging mails are nothing but hilarious, they seem to have forgotten Screechy’s legal fund and now requesting money for leaflets as they are getting more activists, although we have only seen the same racists in every picture or video. They could be coming to a town near you soon so please keep your cameras handy and send them to us.

The biggest question in the office, well not the biggest, ok my question, in actual fact no one cares but Marcia told me I have to ask it, where’s Screechy. Please can everyone look down the back of the sofa, under the bed(cringe). It seems like the biffer pin up has put a piece of tape over her gob and gone into hiding. I believe, and it’s my opinion only, that she was close to a coup, close to deposing der fuhrer, but Goldibollocks got in first and left her fucked. First he pled guilty to his charge, told her not to and left her facing jail time, secondly his high command have stopped begging for legal costs. It’s now all about him.

Finally we were visited by a cat, accusing us of being Muslims, being a one man band, radicalising you guys. Just about everything the biffer trolls do in several attacks. Just to reiterate we are several, atheists, Muslims, Christians, agnostic and human. We believe bigotry in all forms is wrong. So when we get trolls like the one we had we laugh, smile for screenshots and wait for “la grande flounce”

So that’s it for now, another week over and the barmaid has put another bottle next to me to enjoy.

Toodlepip

A view from a barstool #15

Beer 2Where does the time go? Another week gone, kids ensconsed nicely at school, the landlady still unhappy at me for whatever reason (probably spending time at the EBF office, sniggering in general at the Biffers or just in general like usual), and shock at the death of some celebrities. Don’t get me wrong, the passing of celebrities is awful, especially if they shaped your life but too many things are going on in the world for me to do anything more than raise a glass to them, watch one of their films or listen to an album on the record player.

So what has happened in bifferland this week, the usual mix of lies,lies and inflaming posts. More and more religious posts, more tinfoil armour and a TV studio news report from Goldibollocks himself.

I don’t know about you but Jon Snow et al don’t have much to worry about when it comes to Goldibollocks taking their jobs. A near 10 minute rant, badly written, littered with lies, false figures and misinformation had me laughing all the way to the cash and carry. The irony is they let their sheeple know it was from the “Britain First TV studio” but a quick search by our computer experts and lo and behold it was a 15 quid app that anyone can use. Nevertheless stand by for the begging letters for TV studio time that will be lapped up pretty soon.

The MBE for one of our military heroes Captain Naveed Mohammed went totally unnoticed by the biffers who by their own admission are supporters of all our troops. I wonder why this could be. It seems you can put on the military uniform, go to war, be prepared to lay down your life for your country but please don’t be a Muslim or Bifferdom will shun you.

Sir I salute you.

Cultural Marxism and lefty politicians have come under fire as well, as the churchgoing public dwindle. This according to the biffers is a show that Islam is rising and all us lefties are somehow picketing churches on a Sunday.

I’m not a religious man, I was thrown out of the scouts for daring to question religion, but surely the reasons for this is the latest generation’s choice to play Xstation, dream of being a reality TV star or a premiership footballer. The Anglican church is also angering both conservatives and liberals with various rulings. If the biffers want British church levels to rise then surely all of them should shrug off their hangovers and go and put bums on seats, however as only 60ish% of their followers live on this Isle it won’t make much difference. EBFblogger has more reasons why and she puts her finger on the issues, these are only my musings.

Something away from Bifferland but still within their radar is the rise of Pegida in Europe and the person in charge, convicted criminal Tommy Robinson. He’s been inciting hate over in Germany and the eventual rise in tensions appear to be from Pegida’s message of hate. They are coming over here, the last two times they managed 50 or so marchers as the right wing over here is fragmented and suspicious of each others groups. The German police have caught a neo-nazi group attempting terrorist attacks against mosques and Muslims, but again no condemnation from Europe, no leaders sending messages of support to the Muslim community just a media blackout.

Finally the new marching season appears to be on the horizon, with the right wing cockwombles visiting various places in Britain under various guises, BUF, BUP, White man march, Biffers, EDL, Casuals, National Unity, This is England and on and on and on. They think they are clever trying to pull those who can’t abide these idiots from place to place but the truth is their marches will be countered and will be in numbers the right can only dream of.

Now back to the studio (thats a better link than Goldibollocks ever dreamed of), we are still gaining sponsorship money for the Industrial estate shuffle but would still like to raise more to help the victims of the floods, we are still mainly countering the biffers but cockwombles like the EDL, Trump, Pegida et al will all be scrutinised, we are all refreshed and raring to go.

I was asked if my handbag present to the Landlady worked, I have the pleasure to report it did which is why this week I have tried my best not to laugh at the Biffers attempts to get me a divorce.

Cheers

View from a barstool #12

Beer 2Well now the festivities are over and hangovers nursed in the Landlords household, the pirates seem to have finally buggered off, the hobnob cupboard in the office needs replenishing(hint) but at least the Blue Nun and the babysham was imbibed. I had 3 major resolutions to try and keep. The first – to be nice to trolls lasted 4 minutes. The second – not to get pissed off with the biffers lasted 2 and the last – to get decent coffee for the office lasted 8 hours.

So to the roundup of all things biffer from last week…

Well Goldibollocks graced us with his considerable presence, trying to look statesmanlike but failing miserably, informing his congregation that he was proud to be arrested. Paulie, proud you miserable cockwomble, of harassing a elderly woman in her home, proud of sticking two fingers up at the Queen by wearing a tatty green bin bag with her crown emblazoned on it, and proud of being leader of a fascist organisation.

Biffer central seem to be sending an endless amount of trolls over, who we tolerate to a degree, and love reading you lot ripping into them and the comedy value of your replies. Indeed we are currently discussing a new virtual award for troll hunting. It proves beyond any doubt that the powers that be over in Bifferland are worried about our continued presence, getting bigger by the day. Other anti groups also continue to grow as well so the people are out there, getting louder and getting to their leaders.

Floods, lots of them. Loads of damage to infrastructure and homes. People struggling under the deluge. But we saw something happening. Huge community spirit, help from Christians, from Sikh’s, Athiests, Muslims, refugees, giving up time, food and money for the victims, not caring who they are. What did Britain First do, with their 1.1 million disciples? They sent a meme out asking those who receive foreign aid to send £3. I think, Goldibollocks and Dutchy, you have fucked up badly on it.

EBF Rochdale refugees sandbags meme

Our picture of Syrian refugees was trolled relentlessly, it seems that most of the mainstream media and even the Washington Post isn’t enough proof for them. Well up yours Biffers! People in this country have long memories and when you have your drunken stroll through Dewsbury there will be a few good people of Hebden Bridge and other affected areas coming to join the ranks of the real British people opposing you.

And finally, instead of a conference the Biffers are going to have a weekend festival somewhere in Lincolnshire, complete with burger vans (halal?) and beer tent. And this brings me to my final resolution of this year, to harass and harry anything you do.

Have a meet up at a pub? Not if I can help it!

Your festival? Not if I can help it?

A march? I’m going to be there!

A meme? Yep you guessed it.

In fact, whatever you do I’m going to counter it with my fellow admins and my mates on the page.

Send your trolls in. We’ll counter them to shreds!

Try to discredit us. We’ll laugh and repudiate your claims!

We are Christian, Athiest, Muslim and agnostic. We are from a wide range of backgrounds with contacts in many places. And EBF is getting stronger from the people who send us in memes, links and information. Britain First may not have been involved in the floods but they will reap the deluge that’s coming their way.

Finally, may I wish all our mates on the page, and the trolls too, a very happy and prosperous new year.

Cheers,

Landlord