A View from a barstool 25

Beer 2The votes had been cast, the Fuhrer conceded defeat early (in yet another tiresome video) and we sat on the edges of our seats wondering how many votes they’d manage to get. And I decided I’d write a letter to Goldibollocks and Screechy to ask them some questions…

Dear Goldibollocks and Screechy,

Many thanks from the Admins and followers of Exposing Britain First for your comedy series over the last few weeks since you decided to stand for the London Mayor and the Assembly. I noted that you said that you had put forward your family as candidates but upon checking the results I can see no mention of Britain First outside you and the Fuhress. What happened Chumley? Did they disappear behind the sofa? Were they buried underneath a patio? Did the nasty election people not print their names on the voting slip???? I’m sure your loyal disciples would love to know.

EBF and I would also love to see where the money you conned out of your sheep went. We are waiting (with a forensic accountant) to see your accounts, when Stevie gets a new ribbon for his typewriter, that are forwarded to the Election Commission. What will they show? More importantly, what will they hide? I can understand where some of the money went but ‘Operation Lionheart’? A hard hitting video on social media for £2500? I think you need to sack your minister of propaganda. Just remember, if you don’t publish them properly Old Moley will find a way to get them to us (if that doesn’t work we could always make some up and pass them off as yours no one would know the difference between one work of fiction and another).

BF Whitechapel mosque 1st march 2016 FransenI take it you now realise that the people don’t support your “party” in any numbers and are utterly fed up of your “operations” like the Slaughterhouse debacle, the ELM marathon, the Sharia COUNCIL raid. They make you look stupid in the eyes of the media and the people (and they make us laugh at you). The police are slowly catching up with your high command. Your activists, all 20 of them, are banned from most places.

So from us to you, give it up, pocket the cash you have fleeced from your members, stolen from armed forces charities and go away. The silent majority in this country don’t like you, don’t like what you stand for, find your whole Christian Zealot, racist, Islamaphobic rhetoric disgusting and nothing is going to change their minds. This majority has put up with you and your fellow Islamaphobes, you know the ones that hate you as much as they hate the Muslims, for long enough. Why do you think all us unwashed, traitorous lefties, Muslim appeasers and Muslims all come out on your strolls to shout at you? We always get more than your numbers even though you tell you American friends you have faaaasands there. So go on do us all a favour, tell your 800000 real followers (600000 in the UK) that you are packing it in, then we’ll do the same. I might get some time to spend with my family, stop having to watch your videos and suffer Screechy’s screeching.

Finally I do thank you for one thing. Being an Admin at EBF has let me meet and talk to some amazing people all dedicated to your downfall both on the page and the admins. I don’t believe you will jack it in but it would be nice. If you don’t, you won’t be lonely. We’ll be here to keep you company.

Yours forever in hope (book of Landlord 10:13)

Landlord

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View from a barstool 24

Beer 2I’ve finally been freed from the EBF stationery cupboard if I agreed to watch all of Goldibollocks London Mayoral campaign videos and read all the daily Email’s/begging letters coming from said mayor/emperor/High priest/Prime Minister/Dictator (delete as appropriate) and after doing this I have this to report..’

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa

So Goldilocks, Screechy and a whole host of biffers are after the London vote using the “voice” they have been given by the media to put out a joke party political broadcast, and issue some tatty election pamphlets along with their equivalent of the Sun newspaper (both equally discredited and hated amongst the majority of this fine country). In it they tell us how they will get Britain out of the EU and stop immigration, amongst others, both of which the London Mayor and assembly have no say on whatsoever. They seem to be libelling, slandering and being downright racist to the bookies favourite who treats them like something you pick up of the bottom of your shoe after an errant dog owner left it on the pavement. He also once again takes an ex-soldier and uses him in his nasty propaganda. Again this is against the wishes of his family and again the biffer lie that there is no memorial to him. There is. It’s what the family wanted, where the family wanted it to be. Once again we won’t name him as the last thing his relatives want is for him him to become the battlefield in a political ‘tug of war’.

A day out in Bexley Heath handing out faaasands of leaflets was videoed and photographed. Nothing about this leads me to believe that anyone wants anything to do with Goldibollocks and his tawdry little party. They have already had both barrels from the written media describing the campaign as a car crash.

BF Christine Smith election broadcast London Mayor May 2016

The radio broadcast they were permitted was a 30 second recording, the TV broadcast 5 minutes of absolute comedy and still they aren’t happy. We’ve seen the full version of the broadcast Goldibollocks wanted and no wonder the Beeb and ITV told them no. Usually after a broadcast a party’s showing in the polls jumps, this time it didn’t. I checked Comres before and a couple of days later (you need to do something while perched on the loo). The votes for Goldibollocks for London Mayor stayed at 1% and the seats in the assembly, where in my view they were really putting their faith,a big fat zero.

So then to the daily begging bowl, sorry Emails, to their supporters asking them to “chip in” to raise the £20 faaaasand needed to reach even more Londoners with their bullshit and lies. With just (as I write) 8 days to go even if they meet the target it will be too late. It seems to us here that a good holiday will be in order after the campaign and spending money for Screechy’s addiction will be getting a boost from the gullible disciples.
So here’s a thing Goldibollocks and Screechy, Pieman Steve, Chief of Staff Lomax, Sargeant, and the rest of your high command, here’s some advice from a Landlord who used to live and work in London. I’ll even give it to you for free, although the team could do with some hobnobs (the coffers are bare and Sainsbury’s own just don’t taste the same)

1) if you really want to become mayor and Screechy a member of the assembly, don’t fuck off around half of the London electorate with racism and lies. In one of the most diverse and multi cultural cities in the world the voters won’t really like it..

2) When a family of a murdered man asks you not to use his memory to further your racist, islamaphobic aims, don’t. It pisses a lot of people off and a lot of these pissed off people will be voters.

3) when slagging off the favourite for the Mayoral job (Not you Goldibollocks, not you) don’t use his religion against him or at least if you do get your facts right. Whether a bloke is Muslim, Christian, Athiest, Hindu or whatever, fight him on his policies. Oh scratch this one, you haven’t got any policies that affect Londoners just the same old shit that you purvey on your Social Media page.

EBF Racist election address Sadiq Khan mayoral election May 2016 conservative 1964

4) when you lose, when Screechy loses, when your family loses and you all lose your deposits, blame the media, the establishment, the people that don’t fall for your cack and us (and other pages like us) fuck off, pack up your bollocks and close up. It is a show that this is Britain, a Britain that I want to live in, with Naz Hussain next door to me and George Shah just down the road, with the little old lady at number 21 who Naz helps with her garden, with Jeff, one of my locals, from Trinidad, who loves talking to me about my love of Cricket and warm beer, with Steve the local white Van man who hates life but loves all the mates at the pub and finally with the followers of Exposing Britain first who see through your lies at every turn.

This is my advice to you, this is my wish. That after you lose and are humiliated at the elections you go away and leave the sensible silent majority alone. I may even be minded to “chip in” to help.

Cheers