Libraries forced to remove books after onslaught of complaints

Public libraries all across the UK are set radically to overhaul their bookshelves to avoid offending minorities. The vocal group of objectors, most of whom are unable to read written English (and often struggle with the spoken language too) complain that the presence of so many books in one place just underlines their sense of alienation.

“There used to be a literary tradition in UK, that’s true – but as our people grow in number we’re changing that. There will be no place for books or English literature of any kind in the future we’re hoping to build here in UK.”

The above quoted representative, one of the few who can speak, read and even write English with apparent ease asked not to be named. He did go on to point out that his ability to read and write in English was a source of great embarrassment and he tended to downplay his abilities when among ‘his own people’.

Predictably there has been a backlash against the move with book-lovers comparing it to the infamous ‘book-burnings’ of Nazi Germany. Undeterred the minority anti-book lobby continues to apply pressure and plans to target bookshops in the near future.

“We’re about to mount a big campaign against Waterstones very soon.”

Said our anonymous informant. He even produced a poster to demonstrate the illiterate group’s intentions.

BF Waterstones stamp out literacy.png

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