Another endangered species

According to the World Wildlife Fund a growing number of animal species go extinct each year with even more making their way on to the endangered list. As it stands there are 22,784 species on the ‘at risk’ list and more are added every year.

Most people dislike the very idea of extinction – especially when that extinction is caused by humans. Over-fishing, over-hunting, illegal markets in pelts, tusks, shells and even bones has driven, at times even entire genus of our fellow animals to the history books. This is a tragedy, not just for the animals themselves but also for all future generations of humans who will never have the privilege of sharing their planet with so many diverse and fascinating creatures.

But sometimes, just occasionally an extinction event can be positive. Today is one of those days.


Today the High Court engineered one of the most welcome endangerement events we’ve ever seen. With a single stroke of the pen, Justices consigned the species bifferati of the Genus Bigotanus to the ‘at risk’ list of political zoology. Symbolised by the troop’s alpha male, Paulus gold-diggerati and alpha female Dutchy screamitatus, Bigotanus bifferati may well be facing a cataclysmic extinction event of Biblical proportions. We’re sure the breeding pair will appreciate the irony in that.

The species bifferati was always precariously placed with only one dominant breeding pair and few other viable members of the troop awaiting their chance to claim dominance. Bigotanus researchers briefly considered the possibility that Steventium lewisusisusisus and Mandianus slattered might replace the breeders in time but neither seems to be of sufficient quality to save the beleaguered species. As Bigotanus researcher, Anne “The goat” Pepper explains…

“We just don’t believe that lewisusisusisus could possibly rise to the occasion”

For now Bigotanus bifferati continues to exist, eking out a meagre subsistence in its ancestral habitat, the extremist fringes of Outer Naziland. Already weakened by competition from Bigotanus nationali, Bigotanus bnpi and Bigotanus defencicus it seems that its days are numbered. Recent bifferati incursions into established defencicus habitat may well have damaged the bifferati’s only breeding pair so severely that they will never produce even a single new member for their beleaguered troop. In fact the otherwise insignificant Bigotanus boneheadedness seems to have a better chance of survival than gold-diggerati and screamitatus.

EBF celebrate

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